#notes and thoughts

[dopeydi]

I was organizing my fic drafts in OneNote (which I only recently started using cuz curse ev3rn0t3) and decided to arrange one file/notebook by ships, only to realize in each tag that my ships (my OTPs) either have one or both characters dead canonically. Like WHYYYY 🥲

[dopeydi]

I’ve been thinking about how Rin’s death could have played out in other ways without taking out the drama of kakashi being the one to kill her.. and I’m thinking what if instead of her choosing to impale herself (although that adds to her character of self-sacrifice for the safety of the village), instead three-tails leaks out of her, she loses control, and causes destruction in the forest and in the battlefield. Kakashi then has to make a choice in the moment, to let her rampage on or kill her, thinking he could stop her.

Rin still would have tried to plead with him to kill her proir, then after Kakashi’s refusal tries to do it herself but finds her bags empty since she was taken hostage and all.

“Friend-killer” Kakashi would still go through the depression and trauma having had to go through all that, and Obito could’ve arrived to witness the final blow like in canon etc. etc.

I still would want Rin to live to do more with Isobu though lol

What if kakashi chooses not to kill her and retreats to get reinforcements or even minato-sensei if he could, but by the time they get back to the location she’s gone w/o a trace besides all the dead bodies.

Not knowing that Obito had been there and put a stop to it. Still despaired at how things had ended up etc.

This’ll probably just end up in my drafts if I ever try to write it 🥲 but I just had to type it out 😆

[cat-or-kitten]

So i'm back too work on one of my wips and i just saw that i left notes in it of what i was thinking 😂 Should i do a post with them ?

[timandthefears]

Because I want to sit with this piece for a bit and not rush it, my Flesh!Jon fic won’t be done in time for @tmaappreciationweek and their Favorite Entity prompt

Instead, here’s some thoughts and ideas from my notes:

The Flesh 💚

[theplatanitosqueal]

Typing my notes is kinda embarrassing. I wrote them in a notebook but my handwriting is really awful, they make no sense but here you have it. 

My notes (my thoughts)

Chapter 21 [Armand the vampire]

I wrote: 

GOO WITH MARIUS dammit! (I think it was after Armand yeets himself to the sun, yk the scene in the snow when Marius and Santino walk looking for vampires’ remains)

I kinda like Benji he looks cute in my head

omg poor armand

my child, my dear greemling please go therapy you have an insane amount of trauma and you need to address it. 

Ok Marius is gone I’m 3 seconds away to peak in his book and look for this scene (I indeed peaked in his book, I only read two lines, when they meet)(yes I do not have patience) 

Lestat my boy what happened to you (me in chapter 22? recent memories of the books I haven’t read, how does lestat lose an eye? I still have no idea, who is Dora? no clue, I should have read this books in order)

I cannot continue this story line, I have to go back and read Lestat the vampire cause ‘i'm an idiot and  started; book one, six… (I concur past me,we’re idiots)

My child! 

Chapter 24 (I guess, my notes are trash)

Are vampires polygamus? I mean can they be? Imagine all the possibilities! I hope more fics are uploaded to AO3 I need canon divergence and *** fics soon! (What the heck did I write? is just squiggles, but I must confess, I read fanfics in AO3, and now I have questions like: who is David? and Gabrielle?? Pandora who? Who’s Nicky? Daniel and Armand are a thing? When does Daniel turn into a vampire? What happened in Blood communion?  Does Marius hate Armand? and I couldn’t keep reading because I ordered the queen on May twenty something but it did not arrive until yesterday, fortunately it gave me time to make my book budget for this month and probably I’ll be able to get to Memnoch this June!)

Louis is waiting for Lestat to wake up! My son, your bf is the MC! relax, eat (It gave me feels I love Lestat/Louis ship <3)

AAAAAA WHY I SHIP EVERYONE WITH EVERY ONE (yes is the only correct answer)

Lestat/Armand 2022! Kiss him! (I’m kinda worry for some reviews I saw, hope the plot doesn't destroy my ship).

After that I need to read Marius! I NEED IT (No, we are going in order)

why? Why didn't it finish well? I love their ship, Marius loves Armand, right?  He wants him close! So WHY TT^TT … (This was me at 9pm having a crisis after reading a spoiler of a Marius/Armand fallout)

Everything else is gibberish I ended with : help! 

..........

And those are my notes xD

I said it before there is no analysis here, just screams.

I’m enjoying the experience~ 

Overall I enjoyed it a lot.

Armand the Vampire is quite different from what I had expected. I bought Interview with the vampire back in 2012 or 2013 (I think) because I loved the movie.I saw it years prior buying the book, but I didn’t know it was a series so I passed High school without knowing it. (Anyways Vampire Chronicles was not as popular in my time as a teen, Twilight and Hunger games were on trend those years).

Thereby I read it with no expectations or knowledge about the character (just my 12yo crush with Antonio Banderas from the movie as motivation for buying it) xD

I found the writing enticing, each scene deep in an ambience I cannot describe, the idea I had prior was that its writing would be like Carmilla or Jeckyl and Hyde; interesting plot, dark themes but not much character development. 

Glad I was wrong because I loved it, and I’ll be reading the whole series. 

A picture of my notes, they are awful I did not lie

¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

[archivecassie]

★ NOTES AND THOUGHTS ★

“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.” ― Sylvia Plath

◤ ✕ ° ➳  written entries in cassie’s notebook

With every fibre of my being and breath that I possess I wish that I could find the ability to comprehend what it means to dream of another. It’s never been something that I’ve longed for. Love can often be the gloried destruction of a person, especially a woman. To strip her of herself to fit a mold that has been fashioned to shape one into an ideal. Men never have the same pressure when it comes in finding ‘another half’. Atleast I never thought they did. When you went to parties, they were never asked as frequently as the girls were about their love life. And if they were, it was amplified. They were praised for their conquests, especially if a woman was seen daringly out of their league. As if calling us a ‘real catch’ was a compliment.

The notion isn’t comprehended to them as it isn’t the main societal goal to be someone’s other. They were taught to be somebody instead of somebody’s. I’m thankful, exponentially to be raised with the ability to be my own person. Merlin help me if we’d been forced to conform to the standards of the sacred twenty eight.

Still, I don’t understand. I don’t understand how it could ever be deemed outlandish for a woman to even strive to be seen as an equal among those deemed higher. As if our silence was valued higher than our voices. ‘Be a good girl’. Don’t raise your voice, don’t swear, don’t play dirty. Sit up straight, cross your lengths, ‘smile sweetheart, you look so much prettier when you smile’. Demure, elegant, poised. Silent. Ideals that were circulated in a higher frequency as if to diminish the voices trying to scream for even a moment of attention. Equivocated too frequently, voices that should have been praised for speaking up were labeled decrepit, monstrous and lunatics.

Often I wish I didn’t think to such extents. It would be simpler if I didn’t. As if for a moment my mind could hold even a moment of peace. Maybe I wouldn’t mind some kind of attention. That instead of trying to believe that I don’t want it, I could grasp it, cherish it, adore it as much as I love the written word. I wouldn’t be paranoid that accepting love would devalue my voice. That letting someone close would smear my individuality. But I can’t help the overwhelming notion that it would do just that. I don’t want to be classed as just another lost lover. I don’t want to be somebody’s other. I’m my own person.

The agonizing reality of trying to salvage and hold onto my own liberty comes with the overwhelming plight of loneliness. As hard as I may try to fill it with miraculous people, with tantalizing tales and innumerable amounts of adventures; there is a part of me starting to fill with a concern that I’ll be left dissatisfied. That I’ll be caught up in the nostalgia of my childhood and the desire to be my own person that I’ll get left behind. Instead of not becoming somebody, I’ll just be yet another lost person searching for something they not quite grasped. I’ll just be another lost voice in a series of pages. I don’t want to be forgotten. I’ve got to mean someone more than that.

[chicgeekgirl89]

SEAL Team: Edge of Nowhere

I love the ladies working together. It’s so good.

Thirty Mike is a jackass.

This kid Clay is talking to is absolutely going to die.

Damn Clay! That’s some good shooting!

NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Lisa!!!!! Don’t hang out with this guy!!!

Literally how is it any of Ray’s business what Lisa is doing? Why does he always think he gets to be in her relationship stuff?!

Also Lisa is touchy. Because she still looooooves Sonny and she’s using this new guy as a distraction.

Sonnnnyyyyy!!!!!! Of course he wants to be the one to leave.

THERE IS HAND HOLDING!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!

DO NOT KISS HER!!

Clay wrote that letter. I know it.

Mandy is playing DIRTY.

[chicgeekgirl89]

SEAL Team: Edge of Nowhere

Lisa did her hair really nicely and I’m going to pretend it’s because she just wanted to feel beautiful rather than she’s got a thing for her new spooky friend.

Yay! Brock had a line!

Aw poor Cerb. One mistake and Brock is all freaking out. 

Trent has dialogue too!! They’re all so chatty tonight!

Ray keeps having to assure Jameelah that he’s coming home and like....it’s never good when someone has to say it that many times...I’m nervous.

Sonny and his dad make my heart hurt.