#nothinginthemirror

[wordsturnintostories]

10/ Nothing in the Mirror

[...] | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven

Masterlist

Summary: A lot can happen on a late spring day, especially on a bus. A lot more can happen if the ride ends before you’ve reached your station. If you end up in the Avengers Tower without memories, things have either taken a very good or a very bad turn of events. Too bad you have no clue who you are. Apparently, that’s not the case for everyone. Scarily, not all your secrets are hidden within your head, but you have two men by your side who swear to figure everything out with you.

Warnings: angst

Word Count: 1835

_Author’s Note: It’s because you just don't fall asleep after the last thought is finished. It happens all of the sudden, mid-sentence. Love you, @buckyslion, @aubzylynn and @borderline-person! To everyone else: Please, don’t be shy to ask questions about NitM or about the tags (I really don’t mind tagging you! :D). I’d love to hear what you guys think and what you liked best about this part (or the others). Please, don’t be shy. There’s so much love over here that I promise I’m gonna share with the brave ones that talk to me! 

The day continued as planned, the two of you had paired up with Steve to check on an entire office level, searching for traces of the attack of the last day. Hundreds of employees had already returned, far too soon after the events, but their level was intact, there seemed to be nothing wrong there. Now, they swarmed around Steve, grateful for his appearance and hanging on his lips when he explained what had happened. You stood far away, in the back of the crowd. Although you had nothing to hide, you felt the urge to do exactly that. Behind you was the wall and before you Buck’s massive body. Good thing he’s got wide shoulders like that. They covered your frame entirely, cloaking you from suspicious glances. Buck himself didn’t seem to feel so comfortable with all the people around, he unconsciously tugged his left sleeve further down his left arm. Hiding even at home. 

Suddenly, your mind pulled you away again, wandering over landscapes of thoughts repeating themselves in your head hundredfold. What was your home? Did you ever have to hide in your home? Memories appeared, memories of the first day when you spoke to Steve and Buck. When they comforted you. When you climbed down the tower’s façade and fought Natasha. You killed the ambassador. You were a murderer. Suddenly, the mumbling of the room quieted and the voices converged into a united whisper. Murderer, it whispered with a silent force creeping past your walls. Murderer. You let out a strangled gasp. A deep breath, hand on your chest. A murderer. You stepped back, hitting the wall, feeling the hard surface punch your skin. Slowly, you slipped away, searching for a room that was quiet, where the noise couldn’t reach you. The ground had been pulled away from underneath your feet and desperation claimed your head. Finally, you stumbled against a door that creaked open, leading your shaking body into a dark room. Not peaceful, but silent. Murderers don’t deserve peace. When the tears hit your cheeks, a shiver spread over your backside. The salty water felt like boiling tar, like it meant to burn through your skin and mar it in the ugliest way possible. Even in this little room, dark and quiet, exposed was all you felt. People had seen you. What if I had killed one of them? What if they already knew all about me? You could never see these people again, their boring eyes intent on seeing behind your outer layer. Damn, you couldn’t go back. You had killed someone. At that, a tingle crept into your hands and a tension built up in every single finger, like the muscles contracted, gripping something. Had you killed him like that? Had your fingers dug into his skin until air became a rarity for the man? Had you held cold steel against his temple? Had you pulled his body into a car?

Your side ached, right over the hip. It was a sharp pain; like a knife pressing into the flesh. You choked for air. The pain restricted your movements, but when your hand shot to the hurting spot, no blood. You groaned. Muscle memory. Within a second, your lower back had taken a hit as well, telling your mind that there was a slash wound when really only a scar met your fingertips. Sweat dripped down your neck. Buck’s fingers had been here too, you reminded yourself. His had been gentle, soothing, creating a soft want in you that you pushed away with the roll of an eye. When he was around, your head forgot to think about yourself, about what could’ve happened before. Somehow, his cheeks almost always carried a kind smile that transferred over to you. He was a flirt and it made you forget that these people kept you captive. But maybe that was all he was supposed to do. Could you really trust them?

You couldn’t go back, that was for sure. Your identity was a riddle, yes, and your only clue was that you’d killed the ambassador. Bile gathered in your throat. Your body ached everywhere, making it receptive to what your mind wanted you to do. The itch to disappear from here hadn’t subsided during the last days, you had just tried to suppress it. Tried. Natasha would know which ambassador you’d killed. If she hadn’t bluffed, which was a possibility as well. But you couldn’t do another fight just to find out what she knew, not now. Slowly, you cleared your head. There was no way to go back to Buck and Steve. They wouldn't understand. They treated you like family, like you belonged with them and that made you suspicious. Yes, maybe their story including the Second War War was true, although you bet it wasn’t since they enjoyed messing with you and to be honest, it sounded really ridiculous. But then again, Buck had a synthetic arm made of metal. But you were sure their kindness wouldn’t reach far if they knew who you really were. No normal person would. You were alone again. So your cold hand slowly reached for the door handle. Escaping this building was impossible without being seen. The door revealed an empty hallway. Your heart pounded heavy in your chest, it was too quiet. Where were all the people from before? But even after minutes of eerie silence, not one living being passed your room. They were all gone, you realized when stepping out. Also, it was dark now, only very few offices were still dipped into a dim light, their desk lamps hadn’t been turned off fully. An opportunity. The laptops seemed to call you like sirens, promising to give you what you really wanted. Information. Your feet had already carried you in front of one of the glass doors, conjuring up your reflection. It stared back at you innocently, but all you really saw was the emptiness behind the skin. Buck’s clothes still warmed your limbs. If you found out who you were and if you managed to run, you wouldn’t need them anymore. Another gesture of kindness you suddenly couldn’t stand anymore. If he knew. He wouldn’t look at you the same way. Not with blood dripping from your fingers.

Your sneakers made terrible squeaky noises in the hallway that connected all the offices. At this hour, no one was here anymore, so it was only you cringing every single time they connected with the ground, hoping that the cleaning staff had finished their job already. You couldn’t know who was sneaking around in this tower at night, besides you, of course. A sigh of relief clouded the glass in front of you. The office room you’d chosen for your research was locked, the door handle only pulling down half way. Sending a cautious look in both directions, you checked for other ways in, maybe for a room that connected with this office, but there was none. When you walked away, determined to find another office that would provide you with a good view into the hallway and that would be in close proximity to the elevators, you heard it. Something crunched and cracked. For a short moment, you stopped dead in your tracks, heart pounding fast, but you realized how uneven the ground was under your feet. You had stepped onto a pen that someone must’ve lost. Turning it around in your hands, you pulled out the color tube with a grin. Getting into a locked office wasn’t that hard when you had the right tools. After half a minute of fumbling around with the tube and the lock, you were in.

Against your expectations of being detected by entering the work place, nothing happened. The light stayed off, just like you hoped it would. Good. Whoever was looking for you, they wouldn’t find you here. Especially Buck. You wondered what he was doing right now, if he was checking the tower for you. Concentrate, you scolded yourself. You’re here for one job and you always get your jobs done. Your eyes widened. Slowly, the tingle reached your hands again. What was this? Was it another clue at your past? You shook it off. The screen of the computer gleamed at you with a harsh white glow so bright you had to cover your eyes. The constant darkness had required you to adapt your vision and now the light was overwhelming, almost blinding. When you opened your lids again, you could see more than just one screen wherever you turned. Stupid screen brightness. And then you just sat there, hoping you’d figure out how to get past the password before someone detected your location. Suddenly, the system made a little „whoosh“- sound. You almost shrieked but slapped a hand over your mouth. It took you a few seconds to get back to a completely calm state, but something about the room had changed. Soft classical music was humming from some kind of sound system, creating sweet melodies that instilled the office with a relaxed atmosphere. But it didn’t work for you, because you were on the edge of your chair, cursing under your breath. Had they found you? What kind of games were they playing now? You were well aware that this was a display of superiority, that they had the control over what happened, that they could monitor remotely. This was psychological warfare. But nothing happened. No guards, no voice in the ceiling, no nothing. Just you in a dark office. The music played and while you waited, holding your breath, the hallways stayed dark and silent. The screen had turned off long ago when you finally decided to go on. This time you just stared at the keyboard in front of you, trying to figure out what to type in. Your head was empty, it was no use. How do you crack the password of a person you don’t know? Suddenly, your fingers just started tapping against the different keys, feeling the low resistance and the mechanical movement of them, giving the classic music a rhythmic accompaniment that caused goosebumps to rise. And there you sat, typing and typing, faster than your mind could control. It just happened. And you had no idea what the words on the screen meant. It didn’t look like normal text. Your fingers typed programming, with commands and directives that were meaningless to you. After a few warning signs and more furious typing, new windows pulled open. Again, you weren’t sure what to do with that, but you continued, feeling the urge to get this done. To get this itch off your chest. No matter what would happen at the end of this, you would know who you were and you could leave. You shook the sleepiness off, forcing yourself to concentrate, to get this done. You could rest later. Various lists opened in front of you and you worked your way throu

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Permanent Tags: @buckyslion, @aubzylynn, @inappropriatepirate, @buckysmusculararm, @coffeeismylife28, @mitra-k-w, @captainmomofoshosho

Tag list for NitM: @naenae87, @xllxni, @aquabrie, @canumoveyourseatup-no, @borderline-person, @avengingnights, @secretlypleasantlover, @harleyhiddleston, @bailieinabottle, @chipilerendi, @bibitchalicia, @blacwings-and-bucky-barnes, @aoimidzu, @ek823

[wordsturnintostories]

9/ Nothing in the Mirror

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten

Masterlist

Summary: A lot can happen on a late spring day, especially on a bus. A lot more can happen if the ride ends before you’ve reached your station. If you end up in the Avengers Tower without memories, things have either taken a very good or a very bad turn of events. Too bad you have no clue who you are. Apparently, that’s not the case for everyone. Scarily, not all your secrets are hidden within your head, but you have two men by your side who swear to figure everything out with you.

Warnings: nope

Word Count: 1166

_Author's Note: Don’t really know what to say... bear with me, we’re getting to the more action-y parts soon enough. Life in the Avengers’ Tower isn’t just fighting and crazy all the time. Maybe this is the other side of it - enjoy! As always, dedicated to my sweet flower @buckyslion, to princess @aubzylynn and also to the wonderful @borderline-person! (Can’t believe we’re at the ninth part already! That’s crazy. Shoutout to all of you sweet people! Thanks for reading this, for leaving a comment or even reblogging (even with comments! Wow)! Have my love! Muah. :D

Turned out the tower really was a (damaged) maze and without Buck, you would’ve been lost. Every level looked the same, at least from the elevator. Well, maybe the scary voice could’ve known the way too, but you didn’t trust that thing yet, whatever it was. From the hallway, you could already smell the lavish scent of freshly grounded and brewed coffee beans and suddenly, you felt super excited. Somehow, food was an ordinary experience, but everything just seemed so new. Not that you had lost the ability to differentiate between cheese and nutella or peanut butter, but the memory of eating was just as gone as everything else. Except for that one baking recipe. Long live the cake. You entered the kitchen and almost choked on your laughter. Tony stood in front of you, with a mug of steaming dark coffee in his hand and a facial expression of a fading ghost. Nonexistent. Not a morning person, you deduced. The archer guy was there too, eating real slow, obviously struggling to keep his eyes open. Next to him was Tasha, (who, right, didn’t want to be called by her name) who leaned against him, muttering something into no particular direction. You noticed a face you hadn’t seen before, a face that belonged to a man sipping on a hot tea, reading the newspapers and chatting with Steve, who seemed to be the only one with a big appetite. Which was gonna change now, of course, that you were here. Everything looked good, the bagels, the spreads, the granola and the scrambled eggs all placed on a little buffet table. You ended up with a full plate, which earned you another teasing from Buck, who had about the same amount of food on his. You joined Steve and were introduced to Dr. Banner right away. He seemed kind, although you felt that he was leaving something out when he described his job in the tower. You became especially suspicious when he shared a look with Steve.

„Didn’t you want to give the little tube to Tony?“, the blonde asked with a smile. Oh, right. You pulled it out of your pocket and approached the dark haired guy. „Um, they said you’d take a look at this. Could you figure out what it is?“ He’d already downed a few cups of the brown liquid and looked much more alive right now. „Wouldn’t own a tower if I couldn’t. Jarvis, open the drawer lab.“ On the other side of the kitchen, a drawer opened and Tony threw the little thing in there. Everyone cheered like he’d just dunked the little piece and led his team to victory. „Go eat some more, kid. This is gonna run for a few minutes.“ Since he didn’t explain anything else, you went back to your seat, earning a smile from Buck. He was talking to Tasha and the blonde archer-guy next to her, who seemed deeply concentrated now. He beheaded the egg on his plate with one slash. Then he looked up, seeing you. „I’m Clint. Just in case you were wondering.“ „Uh, yeah. Cool. Hi, Clint. What are you doing here, I mean, in the tower?“ It was kinda hard to talk right now because some jam on your blueberry bagel had decided to escape, but you kinda managed anyways. He seemed relaxed and like he didn’t mind your stuttering. „Good question. Sometimes I think I’m only here for the view“, he turned to the redhead, „what am I even doing here, Nat?“ Nat? Not Tasha? „Wait a second. What is your name?“, you asked her with furrowed eyebrows and she stared at you, probably considering what you implied with that question. „Natasha.“ „The Great“, added Clint and earned a playful slap against his arm when he cackled. „Does make sense now“, you muttered to yourself and earned very amused glares. Natasha. Steve looked at you, grinning from ear to ear. „You did that on purpose, didn’t you?“, you groaned, but he held his hands in the air. „I didn’t do anything. You made your own assumptions.“ „Which are cute, by the way“, Buck added with a grin. Natasha raised an eyebrow. Uh-uh. „Tell her, Buck.“ „Nope. I’m good.“ He took another spoonful of his granola. „Buck isn’t your real name!?“ Your cheeks flared up. „Oh god. What is it, really?“ „It’s…“ Tony stood up, demanding everyone’s attention. „Thanks to SWAT, the tower is under construction, once again. Except for Bruce and me, we can all resume with our routines. Still, I put you into groups to check on a few places. See if everything is as it should be. Jarvis still needs a few bandaids, will be back up in the afternoon. Everyone ready? Good, get your stuff done.“ „Looks like we got the garages“, Buck said, pointing at the surface of the table that now showed a map like a computer screen. Everyone else was cleaning up their dishes and left. Natasha sent you a look you couldn’t translate into words but made pretty sure she hadn’t forgiven you for whatever you had done. Probably for killing that ambassador, whoever that was.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Tony typing some stuff into a similar surface, on the fridge door, looking all concentrated when some text pulled up. Is everything a computer here!? He turned around, facing you. „The only thing on there is DNA and it’s everywhere. Mind telling me where you found this?“ „My back.“ „In your back!?“ „Nah it was taped on there with duct tape. Of course in my back, you know, under the skin, where the blood is…“ „Yeah, thanks. I know what in means. It just sounds so much like-“, his eyes widened and he spun around, his fingers typing in commands and directives. „Jarvis, compare tube to sample 17N.“ „Similarities do occur, Sir. Should I run an inside check?“ „Go ahead.“ You felt this tickling in your belly, the feeling of getting closer to finding out who you were. This was good. Whatever had been hidden in that little tube, it would be a significant piece of the puzzle that your identity was. „There are numbers on the inside, Sir. They say -73 58 5.8“, the voice replied. „However, I cannot run analysis on them. My numeric database requires fixing. My algorithms do not appear in the correct order, Sir.“ „We’ll take care of that.“ Numbers. Numbers without description. What did they mean? What did they stand for? Were they about you? Were they important for your job? Who had put the tube into your back? But no further insights came from Tony and his speaking computer and you carried your plate and cutlery to the dishwasher. Suddenly, your head shot up. „Tony, what is Sample 17N?“ But he was gone already, leaving Buck and you in the empty kitchen. What was worse, however, was the realization that the tube from your back had not been a tracker.

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Permanent Tags: @buckyslion, @aubzylynn, @inappropriatepirate , @buckysmusculararm, @coffeeismylife28, @mitra-k-w, @captainmomofoshosho

Tag list for NitM: @naenae87, @xllxni, @aquabrie, @canumoveyourseatup-no, @borderline-person, @avengingnights, @secretlypleasantlover, @harleyhiddleston, @bailieinabottle, @chipilerendi, @bibitchalicia, @blacwings-and-bucky-barnes, @aoimidzu, @ek823

[wordsturnintostories]

8/ Nothing in the Mirror

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine

Masterlist

Summary: A lot can happen on a late spring day, especially on a bus. A lot more can happen if the ride ends before you’ve reached your station. If you end up in the Avengers Tower without memories, things have either taken a very good or a very bad turn of events. Too bad you have no clue who you are. Apparently, that’s not the case for everyone. Scarily, not all your secrets are hidden within your head, but you have two men by your side who swear to figure everything out with you.

Warnings: not sure if you can take all the fluff

Word Count: 1583

_Author's Note: Sorry for posting so late (I know, it's probably not that late for you, but to me, it feels like Wednesday is already over and I forgot to post.) I miss you, @buckyslion (and you too, @@aubzylynn) . 

I promise we'll get back to mystery and violence soon. :)

Bucky woke up in the middle of the night, with a smile on his lips. Some moonlight dared to tickle his face and he closed his eyes, listening for the soft breathing of the adorable girl next to him. His smile faded and he shot up in an instant. Nothing. She wasn’t here. The bed was empty. Bucky groaned. Not again. He grabbed the handgun from a special holster underneath his bed, glad that he still kept it there every night. Who knew what the nameless girl was doing right now? The nameless girl who knew how to fight. He didn’t even bother to turn the light on, just rushed directly into the living room, pacing to reach Steve’s door, when he heard some clattering. Someone is in the kitchen. He tiptoed around the corner, counting on his advantage of surprise. Behind it, she stood, in his shirt and boxers, with messy hair and flour all around her. He grinned. She is crazy. What is she doing at - at 2 am? Baking!? He wasn’t sure if watching quietly would be considered stalking or creepy, so he cleared his throat and stepped into the warm room, the gun lowered.

The scent of sugar and sweetness filled his nose and he heard the last tones of the song you hummed. Then, you noticed him and a shock went through you, making you drop one of the eggs in your hands. He was still shirtless. „Oopsie.“ „Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. What are you making?“ You kneeled down, cleaning up the mess, trying to not look at him and his - body. „Um, I’m not sure what it’ll look like in the end, but-“ „Don't you have a recipe?“ „I - no, but I know… pieces. Now I’m just… trying to make something out of it.“ Buck’s face lit up at that and he moved a little closer in an attempt to catch your eyes. You weren’t sure if he’d be able to read what they expressed, so you kept them on the ground. „That’s awesome! So you are remembering things.“ „I don’t know. This memory feels like a basic, like tying your shoes.“ He didn’t understand this girl and her story yet, but she was extraordinary. What else he couldn’t figure out was why she wouldn’t look at him. Something is wrong, he assumed. Maybe they had lost her yesterday, with the book. They hadn’t meant to confuse her. Maybe there was more stuff going through her head and she didn’t know how to deal with it. „Starting with the basics doesn’t sound too bad to me. Although I really think we should go back to bed. Have you realized how late it is?“ He sensed the resistance in her, how she looked at the clock, then eyed the batter she’d created. „Just put it into the fridge. Write down what you need to do. You can finish it tomorrow.“ „Later, you mean.“ „No“, he smirked, „tomorrow is when I wake up.“ She grinned, putting everything away. If he was honest, the sight made him feel ticklish in his stomach, bringing up feelings he’d thought long lost and buried. This girl was beautiful and hadn’t even realized it yet. Now Steve would see what he would get for reminding him of his earlier days, for the ladies’ infatuation with him. It warmed his heart to see her smile, because he knew which smiles were real. Losing your memories was a harsh fate, but he’d make the best of it for her.

The next morning introduced itself pleasantly, sending rays of sun into the bedroom, waking everyone up. While the man next to you got up, you snuggled deeper into the warmth of the covers, getting lost in them. You breathing was gentle and steady and you could’ve slept for at least an hour more. A hand touched your shoulder, but didn’t quite shake you, so, unconsciously, you leaned into it. Someone whispered sweet words into your ear, but you wasn’t sure what it meant. The bed was sweeter. All of the sudden, cool air touched you in places where the blanket covered you before and your eyes opened immediately, meeting laughter. There stood Buck, holding your blanket, with a smirk on his face. But you shot up, sending him into a sprint out of the room. You were right on his heels, even in the living room, but he was fast. „Traitor!“, you yelled and he just laughed, loud and bright. „You shouldn’t wake Steve up“, he grinned, face full of mischief. „Well, I don’t care about him. I care about my blanket.“ Both of you were standing on opposite sides of the table. You groaned; you weren’t gonna get him like that. So you jumped over the table, gaining maybe a second on him. He gasped but ran. „I want my blanket!“ „Well, I want you to come and get it!“ His eyes blazed with joy when you took after him. You didn’t blame him. Boys always needed their games and you were almost sure Steve didn’t chase after his blanket, so you’d have to endure this for a while. Speaking of Steve, you were so caught up in running, you didn’t notice him coming out of his room. You crashed full force into him, him half naked and half asleep. „Good morning“, he rumbled. You blushed. You hoped running into naked men wasn’t all you achieved in life. Well, if that was the case, you could call yourself  an overachiever.  „Help me“, you whispered, looking up to meet Steve’s eyes. Buck came up behind you. „Who’s the traitor now!? You can’t catch me and throw yourself at Steve?“ He grinned and full of mischief, wrapped the blanket around you from behind. He had you in his arms and carried you back into the bedroom like a battle trophy. Although you felt more like a sushi roll. Someone should write books about that instead of cheesy love stories. „Should write what, sweetheart?“ You blushed, then groaned. This was embarrassing, from beginning to end. This whole thing, with him chasing you, calling you pet names and you being wrapped in a blanket you couldn't escape. Oh, let’s not forget you running into naked men (only two so far, luckily) and doors at the sight of the former. „I wanna know“, he teased and slowly began to free you. You couldn’t fathom your luck at your chance to escape but shook your head, not wanting to tell Buck the sushi thought. „I have my ways of getting the information I want, you know“, he began, „I am an assassin, after all.“ „No, you’re not.“ He chuckled. Suddenly, he pulled you onto the bed, starting a tickle war. And man, he was strong. Captured in his arms once again, his chest heaving against your back, you felt his laugh reverberating through your entire body. He rested his chin on your neck, carefully observing your eyes in the mirror, making sure you weren't uncomfortable with him so close. But you smiled, cheeks still flushed from that tickle game you were sure would count as an exercise when performed with Buck.

He quieted down, like you, softly pushing a strand of hair back behind your ear so he could see your face better. „Buck, what do you see when you look into the mirror?“ For a moment, there was only his soft breath against the back of your ear as he thought, but his hands sneaked around your waist, he pulled you a little further against his front. „Something I haven’t seen in a long time, I guess. Joy. What do you see?“ „When I look at myself, nothing. There is a face and a heart, but they are masks - hiding the emptiness. There’s nothing in the mirror.“ You sighed, realizing how fast all the happiness had vanished, like someone had opened a window and let all the warm air out. Buck turned you around in his lap, touching your cheeks with his hands. His blue eyes focused on yours, searching for words you didn’t dare to speak out. „I know how you feel. But I’m here, okay? I’ll help you find yourself. When I look into the mirror, I see a girl who overcomes whatever falls in her way. Look, this has a good side too. Nobody expects anything from you, you’re free to discover yourself here.“ His mouth pulled into a smile that soon became a smirk, with that one corner lifted. „Also, you get to wear my shirts. Which, by the way, you look great in.“ You weren’t sure if he was doing this on purpose, making you blush, but it worked. Every single time. Man. „Yeah, they’re all the same kind of ugly“, you teased and he gave you a playful hit on the back of your head. „And then she says I’m crazy.“ „Can’t handle the truth, huh? That’s even worse, Buck.“ Steve suddenly stuck his head in, agreeing completely. „My exact words. You are the worst, actually, still sitting in bed and all. Get your lazy ass up and into the kitchen. I’m sure Tony wants to announce something, we shouldn’t miss that.“ „Just pull the plug of the coffee maker. It’ll slow things down.“ You stood up nonetheless, grabbing big clothes from Buck who was way more muscular than you. Although, your body did feel strong and your belly was toned. Athlete, but too many scars. What am I?

Masterlist | Please let me know what you think about this chapter! Message me directly, use my Ask Box or comment/reblog!

Permanent Tags: @buckyslion, @aubzylynn, @inappropriatepirate, @buckysmusculararm, @coffeeismylife28, @mitra-k-w, @captainmomofoshosho

Tag list for NitM: @naenae87, @xllxni, @aquabrie, @canumoveyourseatup-no, @borderline-person, @avengingnights, @secretlypleasantlover, @harleyhiddleston, @bailieinabottle, @chipilerendi, @bibitchalicia, @blacwings-and-bucky-barnes, @aoimidzu, @ek823

[wordsturnintostories]

7/ Nothing in the Mirror

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine

Masterlist

Summary: A lot can happen on a late spring day, especially on a bus. A lot more can happen if the ride ends before you’ve reached your station. If you end up in the Avengers Tower without memories, things have either taken a very good or a very bad turn of events. Too bad you have no clue who you are. Apparently, that’s not the case for everyone. Scarily, not all your secrets are hidden within your head, but you have two men by your side who swear to figure everything out with you.

Warnings: blood, knife (what else do I need to say? pretty self-explanatory), fluff and shirtlessness (only the right people tho), doors, too

Word Count: 1667

_Author's_Note: This one was so much fun. Hope you all love it as much as I do. A little more fluff with Buck and Steve. Sweet @buckyslion and adorable, blushing @aubzylynn , the warmest hugs to you. Xx

„Are you even aware of how many there are?“ „How many what?“ „Scars, doll. Your back is full of 'em.“ His finger trailed a few of them, leaving soft trails on you. He didn’t notice he gave you goosebumps. Forgetting your situation, your eyes closed, tension floated away. Air turned sweeter as the tips of his fingers brushed your skin. It felt good, like an affirmation. You would be alright. It was a promise. Someone else cared. Suddenly, Buck pulled away, ripping himself from the daze. With the metal hand, he pulled a knife from his belt. It still surprised you how smoothly all the plates shifted into each other, each of them working on its own, but belonging together. „Are you ready? I think I found it.“ „Sure.“ The metal shifted onto your shoulder, placed with care while the knife tore a cut into your skin. Blood collected in drops, running down your back as the wounded tissue warmed up. It stung, very much so, but the pain was bearable. Then, the knife went in a little deeper and even though you knew Buck tried to be careful, it made you gasp. The hoodie crumpled up in your fists and you could feel him hesitating back there. „Go ahead, get it out!“, you cried. „Okay, I can’t get it out with the knife. I’ll-“ „I don’t care. Just get it out!“ It hurt. It hurt more than raw wrists due to handcuffs, it hurt more than damaged eardrums. Buck was skilled, he kept his hand from shaking and got the little object out of your back, dropping it into your lap. There was blood all around it and just before Buck could protest, you’d rubbed it off with your - well, his sleeve. He was still fumbling around with the wound, but now you had something to distract yourself with. Although, the little metal thing that resembled a bullet casing was as simple as it could get, round, matte metal, nothing on it. „You’re done“, Buck said, looking at the stitches with a satisfied expression. „How’s the tracker?“ „Beautiful“, you rolled your eyes. Steve checked it out right now. „Well, the inside counts, right? Wanna keep it or should I give it to Tony?“ „Can he say who put it in there? Then yes. I want to know.“ They nodded and Buck put it back into your hand. „You can give it to him yourself, tomorrow, at breakfast. You’re gonna spend your whole day with us.“ He ignored the protest in your eyes, but it made you think. It was probably safest that way and, hopefully, the least boring.

The rest of the day you spent with the two men, reading through of the pile of books Steve had supplied you with „so you could figure out what kind of literature you were into“. Well, definitely not romance, that was for sure. Having found another super cheesy line on the second page already, you put aside the third romance. Secretly, you wondered if these books were actually his, the super old ones had yellow-brimmed pages and some were falling apart, they seemed quite aged. There was one in particular that warmed your heart, though, the language and the imagery in it were capturing and in no time, you were so deep in it that you didn’t even notice anymore what was happening around you. The hobbits in it were lovely creatures, you found, and although passages of the text sounded ancient, you sucked them in, hungry for more. Time passed and you were so enraptured, you had unconsciously switched positions various times because stiffness plagued your back. Somehow, it was also becoming harder to figure out the sentences. Suddenly, a flash ripped you out of your reading and your head shot up. The boys just laughed, Buck still holding his phone in his hand. How dare he? „You took a photo!“ „Mmh. You were this close from being sucked into your book.“ He put his thumb and pointer finger together, emphasizing how tiny the space between them was. „This close.“ You rolled your eyes. That was no excuse for disrupting you during reading. „I saved your life, doll. Think that deserves more than an eye roll.“ „Oh yeah? Here, have another one.“ Steve chuckled, looking over your shoulder after turning a lamp on. „Oh, I love that part. I remember when I read it first, the book was a Christmas gift.“ He smiled and there were so many emotions on his face that it almost took your breath away. His jaw looked soft now and the worry was completely gone. If you observed right, you witnessed nostalgia overtake him as he plopped into an armchair. Bucky joined you on the sofa, now interested too. He brought a blanket, which you gladly took, but instead of wrapping it around only yourself, you decided to share.

You tried to go back to reading, but his hand lifted the cover side of your book. „No way“, Buck looked baffled, with wide eyes. „You kept it.“ Steve nodded, sipping on a steaming tea, his smile only growing wider as if Buck had just discovered a wonderful secret. Maybe he had. „Of course I kept it, jerk. Must’ve cost you a fortune, this was a brand new print. I told you how much I loved it.“ Buck still stared at his friend and his lower lip shook slightly. But it confused you, what he said made no sense at all. You went back to the first page, where they the publishing information was printed. 1938. Steve was still talking. „There weren’t many things I could take to Camp Lehigh, but this one was in my suitcase. Peggy kept it stored up, with all the other stuff Fury returned to me.“ Bucky smiled. „Yeah, I remember. It was a horrible Christmas even though you weren’t sick that one time.“ Their eyes did that thing again, exchanging looks you couldn’t understand, looks that only belonged to them and nobody else could share. It was their secret language. „Sorry to disappoint, but I think Buck kinda tricked you. This was published in 1938. Or it’s a different book, not yours.“ Against all expectations, both men laughed, a kind and warm laugh. It filled the entire living room and together with the cackling the fireplace emitted, it sounded melodious, its deepness reaching your bones, making them tingle. You almost laughed with them, but this was a serious question. „Nah, that’s all right. I got this book for Christmas, this exact one. Check the page where they meet the Elven king. There’s a little candy left, right in the crease.“ „Well, that doesn’t prove anything. It’s yours, okay, fine. But 1938? That was before, like, the Second World War.“ Buck next to you grabbed your hand and grinned. „Yeah, sweetie. We were in it. Wasn’t much fun, though, I’ll admit that.“ You stared at both of them. Their eyes sparkled, was that mischief? Steve didn’t reply and he didn’t solve this mystery, so you huffed. „I meant what I said. You’re all crazy.“

With that, you went to bed. Since there wasn’t three of them, you opted for the one Tasha had tied you up to. If they needed to keep an eye on you so bad, you’d totally make use of that. There was no way you’d sleep on this sofa, not after having read on it for so long. You took off your shirt and your pants and checked out the wardrobe. Every single stack of clothes was folded very neatly and you pulled out a shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. The blanket had just become warm when there was a loud roar in the room, one that made you sit up straight. That had been your stomach, demanding food with the authority of a god. So you obeyed, how daren’t you, and strolled into the kitchen. The search for food was successful and after having had a few forkfuls of some pasta from the fridge, you returned to the bedroom. Steve had gone to bed already, the lights in the living room were turned off and his door closed, with a flick of light underneath the door. You opened yours and were met by a shirtless Buck, who stepped out of the bathroom. The combat suit hung on the empty hangers now and his hair was in a ponytail. You quickly turned your gaze towards the floor, your cheeks heating up. Does he always walk around half naked? Goodness. You walked past him, towards the bathroom, closing your eyes just so you couldn’t see his reaction to your cheeks. Of course, you ran straight into the door. It had shut on its own. Now, you were sitting on your bum. What do I do? Laugh or cry? Buck laughed behind you and that set you off. You quickly disappeared in the bathroom, locking it. Goodness. What was that? You were extra slow with washing your face and brushing your teeth, hoping, no, praying that Buck was already fast asleep. You tiptoed back to bed. Whatever you had done in your life, it must’ve been the worst crime of them all, because no, Buck was still up, and in fact, very much in a mood for chatting. „I don’t blame you, you know“, he grinned and you wanted to slap his face. „Losing your memory makes you forget… what a man looks like, I guess.“ „At least we can rule out „assassin“ from my list of possible professions now.“ „Why? They don’t run into doors?“ „They’re just a lot more graceful, I think.“ „Thanks.“ „What? Did you forget to take medication or something? You’re full of bullshit today.“ „Nah, darling“, he grinned at you shamelessly. „Your beautiful little head just can’t wrap around it all yet. Steve wasn’t kidding, I’m not either.“ „Care to explain?“
 „You're lying next to a one-hundred-year-old assassin, doll.“ „Whatever makes you feel good, Buck.“

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[wordsturnintostories]

6/ Nothing in the Mirror

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Masterlist

Summary: A lot can happen on a late spring day, especially on a bus. A lot more can happen if the ride ends before you’ve reached your station. If you end up in the Avengers Tower without memories, things have either taken a very good or a very bad turn of events. Too bad you have no clue who you are. Apparently, that’s not the case for everyone.

Warnings: a little swearing, angry Tasha (you can't convince me that angry Nat doesn't require a warning)

Word Count: 1331

_Author's Note: Have fun! This one's kinda short, but whatever. Another riddle I guess. Love you, @buckyslion ! Sorry, I'm in a hurry and had almost forgotten the update! I'll do the summary sentence later, forgive me, guys. :)

Turned out she was pulling you into safety. „Thank you, Tasha“, you whispered. All you got back was a frosty remark. „You don’t get to call me that.“ And with that, she left you again. Well, what am I supposed to call her instead? Her highness? My ass. A tall man walked into the room, in a dark blue suit with a star on the chest. He wore a special kind of mask, covering his head and parts of his face. Buck got up, giving him a high five. When the tall guy pulled down the mask, you recognized him too. „Steve!“, you yelled, protesting when Buck wanted you to stay down, standing up anyways. „Hey kiddo“, he grinned. „You alright?“ „Did they say anything? You know, about me?“ His brows furrowed at that, he sent a quick look to Buck. Their eyes communicated in their own way, back and forth. „If it takes that long to answer, I’m sure they did.“ „I can’t tell you.“ Your legs were wobbly, but you still managed to go at him. Rage boiled inside you, you couldn’t control it. Steve’s large hands held you at bay, he was strong. The IV tore at your arm, you didn’t care. „I need to know! It’s my right!“, you yelled, still trying to kick him. „You will. Right now, you need to calm down.“ „Yeah. And show me your back“, Buck added, lifting you out of Steve’s hold as if you were a feather. „What are you trying to accomplish?“ „What do you mean?“ „Your sudden infatuation with my back. Just say what you want.“ „I think there might be a tracker in there.“ You huffed. „This just keeps getting better and better.“ „Hey. Don’t you complain! Do you mind if I, um“, he held his metal hand up, but scratched his neck, „I would offer to check your skin with this one, but there’s not much feeling-“ A robot stepped into the room. A talking robot. In red and gold. „Getting touchy with the ladies already, huh?“, he chuckled and to your surprise, the helmet went up, revealing a face you knew. Is this a costume party? Your eyes went to Buck, to Steve, and to Tony. „If you ask me, you’re all crazy. I don’t even wanna know", you huffed. Carefully, you dug the IV out of your arm, throwing it away. „Thanks for protecting me, but I think I’m good for now. Imma head back to my cell.“

You jumped up, cursing yourself for moving so fast because everything turned black again, but you got past it. The hallway was right in your sight and you made a beeline for it. You expected them to go after you, but they didn’t. Instead, you ran into Tasha. She pulled your arm in a harsh motion and pushed your body right into the next wall. „I know where you’re going. But you’re staying.“ „And why is that?“ „They wanted you back. That’s why we’re gonna keep you“, she stated matter-of-factly. Her eyes rested on your neck for a second, maybe she thought you wouldn’t notice. You almost fumed. „Leave my back alone.“ „Sure“, she smirked. „Let me show you where you’re gonna sleep tonight.“ She led you right back to Steve’s apartment, highly amused by the groan you let out. Against your expectations, the room you entered was not the bedroom you’d been in before. This one was nice, too, as clean as the other, but there were almost no decorations or special items. Just a bed, a wardrobe with a mirror door and a nightstand. Oh, and a hanger on the wall, close to the door, but it was empty. It smelled different in here as well and suddenly, you felt like you were intruding someones personal space, even though there was nothing in the room that stood out. „If you need the bathroom, use it now.“ The bathroom was just the same as the room, you found a toothbrush, shampoo, towels, nothing specific yet you couldn’t shake the feeling these things weren’t meant for your eyes. Tasha waited for you and put you into bed, cuffing your hand around the bed’s post. „You know something, don’t you?“, you asked. The redhead headed for the door. „What are you even supposed to be?“ „A spy, darling. Keeper of secrets.“ Well, at least now you knew your past wasn’t completely lost. But you weren’t gonna ask her.

Buck and Steve returned a few hours later. In the meantime, you’d leaned against the headrest of the bed, trying not to doze off, but you couldn’t help it. All the tension left your body and when you could already feel the impending veil of sleep lulling your mind, you gave in. The scent of this room, the scent on the pillows and the blankets was the soothing remainder of the person who lived in here. Only when the door opened and someone dragged a blanket further over your body, your eyes fluttered open. „Buck“, you whispered and he smiled at you. Steve walked in as well, his brows raising when he noticed the red streaks on your wrist. Without hesitation, he grabbed a key from his pockets. „Promise you won’t run again.“ How could you promise that? Your instincts had always kept you safe. „Promise.“ The big hands touching yours were warm and soft, a gentle touch that meant no harm. His fingers caressed the spots the cuffs had rubbed against, for a moment. Maybe it hadn’t been on purpose, maybe it had, but it sure reminded you of how genuine he was. The cut on his cheek fell into your vision. That was your fault. „I'm sorry.“ Everything was just so confusing. „Sorry for running, again. I’ll make it up. Still wanna look at my back?“ There was no way you could stand being responsible for another catastrophe like the one today. So, that tracker would need to get out of your back as fast as possible. Buck looked up to Steve, who nodded. „I'll get antiseptics and gauze“, he stated, disappearing. Buck sent you a smile, which reminded you of something. „Bring a new sweater, too! Can’t run around in this one for another day“, you grinned. „It's too ugly.“ „Hey! That one’s my favorite!“ „Well. Not anymore.“ You stuck your tongue out to Buck, who just grinned. „You’re incredible. I’m glad Tasha stopped you.“ „Yeah?“
„Hm. I really need that sweater.“ Steve returned with the stuff and looked at the both of you. „Look at you, all back to cheeky“, he smiled, then added as if telling you a rumor about his friend, „don't trust his charms. You're way too young for him.“ Buck groaned. „Dear Lord. Peggy would tease you for saying shit like this, you know that, right?“
 Steve just blushed a tiny little blush that didn’t escape your vigilant eyes. Of course you wondered who Peggy was. Maybe she was in the tower too. You’d definitely have to meet her. Buck looked back to you, his blue eyes clear and his face still transformed. He almost gleamed at you, probably because of that inside joke. Peggy must be hilarious to have him crack up like that. „Okay, do you mind taking the shirt off? I need to see what I’m doing here. Don’t wanna mess this up.“ A second of hesitation, but you did end up taking it off, holding it against your chest. You still wore your sports bra, at least that protected from unwanted attention. After all, you had no idea what kinds of people Steve and Buck were, even if their motives so far had been good. Nothing happened. An eerie silence settled in the room. Should you turn around? What was going on? What were they doing? Slowly, you turned around. To find the two men staring at your back, with open mouths. „What is it?“ „Well, let’s say it that way: you are not an athlete.“

Masterlist | Please let me know what you think about this chapter! Message me directly, use my Ask Box or comment/reblog!

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@buckyslion , @aubzylynn, @inappropriatepirate, @buckysmusculararm, @coffeeismylife28

Tag list for NitM:

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[wordsturnintostories]

5/ Nothing in the Mirror

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Masterlist

Summary: A lot can happen on a late spring day, especially on a bus. A lot more can happen if the ride ends before you’ve reached your station. If you end up in the Avengers Tower without memories, things have either taken a very good or a very bad turn of events. Too bad you have no clue who you are. Apparently, that’s not the case for everyone.

Warnings: sickness

Word Count: 1423

_Author’s Note: This one’s a little shorter than the last one, but that’s alright, I guess. I hope you’re all doing great. Love you. Xx Dedicated to @buckyslion , my special flower on the other side of the world. I still wanna come over and hug you, love. 

The SWAT unit didn’t care about ruining Iron Man’s property. You knew they didn’t because they had already thrown a grenade into the entrance, trying to get in. It had shaken the whole building, but it still stood. In almost one piece, just with a hole in one of the walls. The mystery voice from outside the building had gotten into your cell with a report. Buck looked way less shocked than you when it did start speaking, he even yelled back a „Thank you, Jarvis“. It made you laugh. Apparently, nobody really had a clue about the SWAT team’s appearance and their mission and Buck’s face showed a new level of frustrated when you couldn’t give him an answer either. But his eyes softened again when you whispered the question that burned on your lips. „Are they coming for me?“ „I hope not. Come with me. Tony’s an idiot for telling us to keep you in here. If they are here for you, the only place safe is with me, I guess.“ „Are you considering handing me over?“ „Why would I do that?“ Blue eyes rested on yours. „I, uh, attacked you?“ All you saw through your watery eyes was… compassion? He wiped away that one tear that had escaped you. „We haven’t gotten your memories back, though. You can’t leave yet.“ There was something about him. A distant pain, like a nightmare you push away in the morning, but which you know will always come back for you the next time you close your eyes. It didn’t stay long, the feeling, but you’d felt it.

Bucky pulled you with him. His hoodie still warmed your body, but now you’d gladly exchanged that for food. Hallways stretched out before you, clean carpets and expensive artwork passed you when you followed the man with the metal arm. There were a few times you stopped, to get air into your lungs. Buck pulled you further each time. The fight downstairs carried more crashing noises, more shots upwards, reverberating through the stories. People ran around, you saw them now in the blurry fog before your eyes. Finally, a door opened, closed behind you. There was a window and another door into a second room. Not that you stayed up for it - the floor got closer way too fast and suddenly, nausea overwhelmed all your senses. Buck ran to you when you started retching. The only thing your empty stomach could produce was bile; there was no food to barf out. A hand cooled your forehead and suddenly, something plushy caressed your cheeks, wiping them. „Buck“, you croaked, „I don’ wanna.“ „You don’t want what, doll?“ „Don’ wanna die without’a name“, you sighed, another rumble going through your body. The hand still rested on your forehead. „You won’t. I promise.“

How you got out of the room and into another glass room, with the man in the dark combat suit, you weren’t sure. There was a pillow and a blanket with you, a water bottle and dry bread had been placed next to your head. You wanted to push a strand of hair out of your face, but something tucked on your arm. An IV. What the heck? You groaned, no real reason behind it, and the combat- ready man with the machine gun in his lap turned around. It was Buck, looking alarmed. „You were out of it again. You need to get some water into your system. Take sips.“ You obeyed. It felt good, the freshness washing your mouth clean. Even in sips. „Is it over yet?“ „Nah, Tony’s still flying around, so I guess not. Last time Jarvis gave me an update, they took Clint. Bet there are fatalities now“, he grinned shortly. „We’ll be fine. Banner is out there too.“ You couldn’t do much with these names. He probably didn’t expect you to know who that was, right? Where was Tony flying to? Was he getting backup? „Where are we now?“, you nibbled on the dry bread. „In Banner’s labs. We’ll have to wait for the others to get us out though.“

You felt like nothing Buck said actually made sense right now, be it because of your indisposition or because he didn’t explain. Instead, he mustered the area behind the glass intently. „Some of them actually got to the upper levels. I don’t expect them to get through to these walls, but we still need to be careful. Suppose they actually were here for you, how did they know your location?“, he asked and turned around, shifting his silver arm into your field of vision. For the first time, you actually wondered how he got it. The way the combat suit held onto his body, how it made him look, tall, dangerous, lean, as if it had been made exactly for him, one sleeve missing, didn’t help you with the assumption the arm had to do with a violent past. The scars came back to mind and you shivered. Must’ve been painful. „Um. They could’ve seen me?“ „Nobody has access to Sir’s security footage, Miss“, that voice appeared, making your eyes widen again. You quietly touched Buck’s arm. You mouthed, He is everywhere, isn’t he? The brunette grinned, nodding. He is on our side. Still creepy. You both chuckled.

Suddenly, Buck looked up. Had he heard something? „Show me your back, now!“, this was an order. Your back? You protested, but just then, the door to the room around the glass cell opened. SWAT members with heavy guns strutted in, determined looks on their faces. The firing started soon enough, but ended seconds later, with not even a crack in the glass as result. The ear-shattering noise had you pressing yourself to the ground, arms over your head. Buck still stood. His face was hard, his jaw locked and his eyes piercing and cold. Goosebumps ran over your back. This was not a Buck you’d enjoy meeting on the street. This was a soldier, holding up his chin up towards the enemy. Someone carried a battering ram inside. What the heck? The bullet noises turned into dull blasts. What were they trying to destroy, the glass or your eardrums!? The roundness of the glass cage amplified every single noise, making you feel like you were trapped underneath a cheese dome. The metal hand balled into a fist. Buck crouched next to you now, speaking with a voice that probably was supposed to soothe you. „Don’t let them-“ Everything turned green. A huge green -thing- broke through the wall, fist first. It roared, making you flinch all over. Its hand grabbed for the SWAT team that was running now. The ceiling cracked, releasing stones and rubble. Buck stroked your back. The green thing checked you out like an ant under a magnifying glass. It huffed, then grinned a wide, toothy grin, but went back outside. What was that!? You were still trapped. Some of the dust whirling through the room around the glass managed to get in and you coughed. „When do we get out?“ Buck shrugged, still observing both entries, the one into the building and the open wall. The SWAT team that had escaped into the hallways returned. He stood up right away, an act of defiance. There was fear in their eyes, but they didn’t give up. Half of their unit had their rifles pointed at the hole, where the green thing had been before. Suddenly, one of their agents pointed at you, his mouth moving fast. Somebody nodded, pulling a round object out of his belt. Next to you, Bucky pulled in a very sharp breath. „They’re putting a grenade up into the ventilation“, he pointed to the soldier who’d just climbed up the glass cage. „They’ll smoke us out like Omul.“ He grit his teeth. „My comms are broken. Jarvis, you still there?“ Something chopped off crackled through the ceiling. No answer. A painful noise went off, the explosion’s light almost blinded you, in it’s fierce yellow and red, the flames licking at the glass and everything else. In your ears, there was a fine, but unrelenting whistle that didn’t even stop when Buck’s lips moved. He was bleeding too, and coughing a little, but never as bad as you. Something red and gold moved behind the glass. The SWAT team was gone, but there was movement now. Your cage opened and a woman in a back bodysuit stepped in, rushing forward, gun in her hand. Red hair, fierce flames. Tasha. And she didn’t look happy.

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[wordsturnintostories]

4/ Nothing in the Mirror

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Masterlist

Summary: A lot can happen on a late spring day, especially on a bus. A lot more can happen if the ride ends before you’ve reached your station. If you end up in the Avengers Tower without memories, things have either taken a very good or a very bad turn of events. Too bad you have no clue who you are.

Warnings: sadness, confusion and isolation.

Word Count: 1606

_Author's Note: I'm sick at the moment, so here comes a chapter that doesn't have too much action, but still brings up some new questions. As all the other chapters, dedicated to @buckyslion. She is just the kindest. Make sure to leave some feedback!

Russian. Were you Russian? Did you grow up there? Did the KGB train you? Did you have ties to Hydra? Were you a mercenary? Who was your target? Did you even have one was the real question, but nobody asked that. Were you an agent of SHIELD, supposed to deliver secret intelligence? Hundreds of questions were fired at you, some logical, some redundant, some sounding completely crazy and some that you would’ve liked to ask yourself too. You could answer all of them at once. I don’t know. Buck stopped interviewing you when he noticed your hundred-yard-stare that went right through him. He left you cuffed to the table, the pen still sticking out of his thigh. They hadn’t had time to look after his leg yet. They were all busy with digging the bullet back out of your shoulder. Which they wouldn’t have had to do if they hadn’t shot you in the first place.

„We don’t know what to do with you“, he admitted, his voice turning softer again. It didn’t make sense to ask all these things. He looked a little indecisive, just like Steve. Of course. Either you had played them, pretended to have amnesia, or you weren’t faking it and everything was just a very weird coincidence. But it would make you even more unpredictable. He was wary but tried to treat you nice. Someone else stepped into the room, a dark man with a memorable goatee. They'd called him Tony before and apparently, he was mad at you. His first words at you had been „So you're the one who wrecked… everything“, paired with an exaggerated wave at everything, and Buck had stated that the building belonged to Tony, so his anger was probably justified. Now, he just looked right at you, his gaze making you much more uncomfortable than Buck’s because his eyes were actually boring into you. He started talking, but not to you. „Ran every facial recognition and every database on this planet. Wanna know how much Jarvis found? Nothing. Why is that an issue? Because this is the seventh secret soldier these past two years. That’s six too much. You, Barnes, I can take. Thanks to Zemo, the others are dead. I’m done with this shit. Officially done.“ Bucky raised his eyebrows, his silver arm glinting on the table. „You weren't listening, again! Tasha and I told you that was bound to happen. I mean, your databases failing.“ „Yeah, well, I was too busy watching Romanoff steam. I’ve never seen her like that.“ „What are you gonna do with her?“ Buck pointed at you. „Lock her up. We’ve got room.“ You remained uninvolved and uninterested in their talk, so you shifted your gaze towards the colorful sunrise beyond a window behind a few other windows. Their voices faded into the background. Only when something snapped in front of your face, you pulled back. „She doesn’t even care. Do you at least know who I am?“, Tony mustered you sharply, searching for any kinds of a bluff. „You're …Tony?“, you offered and he grinned. „Now we’re talking, sweetheart. First name basis already, huh?“ You could see Buck burying his face in his hands in the background. Was that a wrong answer? „What else do you know about me?“ You just shrugged, unsure where he was heading with this. He offered suggestions. „Iron Man? The suit? Saving hundreds of lives?“ Buck huffed and Tony turned around. „Don't be stupid, Barnes.“
 His dark head turned back to you, expectations high. You probably looked like a question mark right now, with your face scrunched up like that. „It's a strange name“, you whispered with a half-shrug, sending a side glance to Buck, who started grinning. Iron Man. Suddenly, it dawned on you. The building belonged to him. He must be a millionaire, you figured. „I forgot“, you started, but it sounded more like a question than an answer. You just tried to pull up any information possible from the few things you knew about the man. „You're in the mining industry.“ All color left Tony’s face. Well. Maybe he wasn’t comfortable with that part of his life. Iron Man. He turned around, facing the brunette, who’d almost choked on the other side of the table and only suppressed his laughter for Tony’s sake. „How hard did you hit on her again?“ Buck stood up and rolled his eyes. „You’re hilarious.“

They brought you into some kind of confinement room, a relatively nice one, with a bed and a lot of space. Behind you, the doors closed and you were alone. There it was again, the feeling that you needed to leave, that it was dangerous to stay. You didn’t question it, because well, now, it was indeed dangerous in here, with a Russian spy eager to have your head for what you had done in your earlier life. But this room consisted of expensive technology, definitely keeping you put. This time, you couldn’t control your emotions, your body leaving you alone with the sadness, not concealing anything like it had before. Your shoulders started shaking and suddenly, tears ran over your cheeks, falling into your lap. They made you feel broken, but you didn’t care. They also made you wonder how much you could cry because the salty stuff kept coming in rivers. Your head was empty, nothing left of the information about yourself. The bed by the wall looked very inviting all of the sudden and you crawled into it, hiding your body underneath the warm blanket. Nobody could see you here, this was your space, in which you hadn’t killed anybody, in which you could trust yourself before all else.

The day passed and food was given into the cell and taken out of it. You didn’t eat. Your ears perked up every time you heard voices through the glass. Did they find out who you were? Why you did - well, anything? But they left again and you didn’t care. Underneath your blanket, you pretended to have found peace, although you had merely switched your cell for an even smaller cell, one that you controlled, that no one else had access to. You knew that you would get out, but you’d have to work for that. So you decided to give them what they wanted. They wanted you to not do anything. So you didn’t - no food, no waving from behind the glass, no activities. Soon, it’d show who could play this game longer. You really didn’t want to hurt yourself; you’d lost your mind, not your will to live. They’d pick you up if they noticed something was wrong. They always did. Your eyes went wide. How did you know that? It disturbed you to have these thoughts coming up in your mind, the ones that seemed to come from experience but you just couldn’t believe any normal person to have. You sighed, closing your eyes in frustration. This day would end and another would begin. You knew that. Maybe that was the only thing you could trust right now. And you held onto it.

You went through the days with a hole in your stomach, hunger gnawing on you. Your body handled it very well, though, drawing more energy from the water you drank than you'd imagined possible. The day before, you’d discovered the switch that allowed you to darken the windows, letting less light in and since then, they were dark. Maybe everyone on the outside could see through them, but there was no reason to care. They probably monitored you anyways, with cameras and other stuff. Nobody had come into the cell, although it had almost happened one time, probably at night (you had lost your track of time in the constant dark), when they assumed you were sleeping. Back then, there had been a muffled, but audible conversation relatively close to the glass and you could swear there had been a hand on the surface as well. But they had sounded dull and there was no way to tell who the voices belonged to. You bet it was Tasha, still trying to sneak behind Buck’s and Steve’s backs to get you. You had a feeling the redhead would do that.

When the door finally opened, it was ripped open, hectic. The handle clanged on the glass as the door crashed against it. The blanket over your head disappeared. Cold air attacked you. A metal hand grabbed yours. You were yanked out of bed and crashed into a wall. Not used to the sudden movement, your legs wobbled. Your tired body crashed into a panicky Buck, who wasn't pleased. He looked like he’d been running. There was a cut on his cheek, too. „Listen to me“, he ordered and you smiled at him, a little dizzy. „I know you feel like crap - you are so stupid - but talk to me, okay?“ 


His eyes wandered over your face when yours looked unfocused, he searched for your attention. With your legs still itching like a hundred wasps stung them and your mind slow as honey, this was what you supposed being drunk felt like. „Buck“, you drawled out. „I'm listening.“ He nodded, but he didn’t look sure if you really understood the urgency of this situation. He grabbed your chin, pulling your face a little closer, so your eyes found his. What is he doing? I’m not gonna smooch him. Not because he’s the first one joining me in here. He should’ve thought this through.

„You need to tell me. Why is there a SWAT unit outside, preparing to invade the tower?“


Again, with the questions.

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[wordsturnintostories]

3/ Nothing in the Mirror

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

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Summary: A lot can happen on a late spring day, especially on a bus. A lot more can happen if the ride ends before you’ve reached your station. If you end up in the Avengers’ Tower without memories, things have either taken a very good or a very bad turn of events.

Warnings: a fight and all sounds and imagery that entails

Word Count: 1422

_Author’s Note: Writing can be a dance on a thin blade. One word can throw you off balance and render your efforts worthless. But if you keep your focus on the melody, the blade turns into a stage and before you know, the characters come to life, guiding you through the dance. Dedicated to @buckyslion , my beautiful ballerina, who is going through exam week right now. Make sure to drop by her blog and send her some encouragement! :D

The redhead was strong and fast and skilled. But she didn’t expect the glass vases from the window sill come flying towards her. One of the shards grazed her calf and you could hear the profanities she mumbled under her breath. Blood dropped onto the wooden floor. You knew she wasn’t in pain, it was just the fact that she had been the first to bleed in this combat, especially when she was the one who’d expected to finish this without any injuries. You could feel how she reclaimed her focus, how she controlled herself, not letting anger influence her movements in the slightest. She was highly professional, you knew that. And you also knew that she wouldn’t hesitate to kill you, judging from the words she’d greeted you with. So, the next thing to fly towards her were books, a whole armful, from her walls, and frames for pictures, thrown like frisbees. One of them hit her in the head. Loud noises came from the door, pounding noises. They were here. That was your cue and you were on the way to run through the apartment, to just get out of the living room. But you didn’t get far. The woman shot the door frame inches from your face and yanked your head back by your hair. You elbowed her, digging it into her throat, making her cough. You grinned, yes, don’t try to stop me again. When you started to run forward, something cracked inhumanly, it was a sickening noise, somewhere behind you. Yelling filled the room you’d just left. Something whizzed through the air and your instincts kicked in once more. Duck! The huge frisbee from Steve’s bedroom missed you and got stuck in a wall farther ahead. You left your crouch and ran into a side room. Your mind buzzed again. There was no exit. It was a training room, with a huge mirror on the one side, with a long wooden bar to hold onto, right before it. There were some barbells and weights on the ground. Perfect. You had closed the door behind you and put all the weights you could find in front of it. They’d have to push a little harder to get through this. You had no idea what you were going to do, but your body seemed to have a life on its own, handling things in a way you would’ve never guessed, in a calm manner that almost scared you. The only thing was that you needed to get out of here, to disappear, to go somewhere. It felt like a carrier pigeon trained to return to its home. Only you didn’t know where to go. Just somewhere. „Open the door, doll!“, Buck demanded, still knocking on it. „What do you hear?“, someone, probably Steve, asked. „Nothing, that’s the issue.“ „Guys, if you don’t break the door down, I’ll do it“, the redhead announced. She sounded aggravated. You grinned. Let them come, your body said.

While listening to their conversation behind the door, your hands had taken apart the barbell holder, going for the screws first, placing them close to the door, on the ground, with the pointed end sideways, of course. Putting them upwards wouldn’t do much, your mind noted. Had you done this before? Then, your fingers worked their way around the construct again, pulling out one of the long rods that usually held the barbells. You swung it around, your knees automatically bending a little, the one before the other. An athlete for sure. Maybe I did something like fencing. Like the other door, this one bowed to the strong kicks and rammed bodies and broke, revealing more than just the three faces you knew in the hallway and as many guns pointed at you. In a quick movement, you threw a barbell into their direction, forcing them to dodge it by moving aside. The woman slipped on the screws and someone else caught her. 
His moment of distraction was your advantage. You came forward, determined to deliver your hits before they could move out of the doorway, where space was limited. The frisbee flew again, completely crushing the mirror, but making you step back. They were smart, they could read you, that you’d have to give to them. Well then. The rod still swirled in your hands and you stepped forward, towards Steve, pretending to aim high, then quickly crashing it against his knees. His entire face scrunched up in agony. Yeah, that one had been a hard blow. But he resisted, he kicked you in the stomach while your eyes had set on the woman. It threw you back, that much force knocked you back onto the ground, next to your bag that you’d put down minutes ago. Another shot rang out and you held the bag before you, hoping all your stuff in there would stop the bullet. It didn’t. The bullet slowed down, but still buried itself into your shoulder. You groaned but grabbed the rod with your other hand. Someone else came bursting into the ruined room. You hit him, right in the side, where the ribs where you knew it would really hurt. But instead of a groan, you heard a loud clank. It was Buck, standing right before you and his metal arm had wound around the rod, ripping it out of your grasp. He towered over you, blocking all exits. Your hand slowly slid into your bag, seeking the pen you knew was in there, in between clothes and deodorant. When you got it, you jammed it into Buck’s leg. This one wasn’t made of metal. He cried out, letting it stick, but grabbing your throat with his hand. Right then, it was over for you, you knew that. You wouldn’t get out tonight, you’d have to delay that. Wherever you needed to go, it had to wait now, but if the itch in your mind was gonna come back, you would oblige. Right now, your instincts were all you had and if they made you fight like - well, like someone who knew how to fight and climb housing façades - then you knew you could count on them. You sighed.

The redhead, however, she was still enraged and didn’t even try to hide that. „Barnes“, she seethed, whatever that meant. Her words sounded different than before, but the intention behind them was the same. There was no response. Buck held you tight, trying to figure you out, but you were busy avoiding the intensity of his gaze, so you didn’t answer either. „Give her to me.“ „And what are you gonna do? Kill her right on the spot? If you know who she is, please. Now would be the time to spill a few secrets.“ „Her name doesn’t matter. She’s an enemy.“ You looked into the room, Steve stood next to the woman, his head whipping back and forth when she and Buck shot words at each other. There was confusion on his face, it was very obvious, but you couldn’t tell the reason for it. „Take the gun down, Tasha.“ Buck turned so you both faced her. She didn’t move. „I said take it down. I’m sure Tony has a place for confinement.“ Tasha glared at you, the half-broken lamp on the ceiling angling its light to give her hair a fiery glow. „The ambassador was a security for my life. Next time you run around in my apartment, I’ll kill you.“ „I’d love to see you try“, you replied, a smug expression on your face. New confidence rushed into your body. You were stronger than you thought, even without a name, without an identity. Tasha had recognized you, triggered something inside you that made you feel wild, something fierce. Whoever you were, you would get out of here. You would find out who you were and what it was you were supposed to do. These thoughts rushed through your mind and just now, you realized all of the others, including Buck, his silver hand still tight around your neck, were staring at you. „What“, you demanded, voice lower than intended. No answer. „What are you doing?“ A feeling of uncertainty overcame you, your brain shutting down all the amazing abilities you’d just started to tap into, like it was leaving after work, for the evening. What was going on? Was it something you did? Why was Steve, holding the frisbee, the one looking most confused? He spoke up, voice clear. „How do you know so much Russian?“

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Tags: @buckyslion , @aubzylynn , @inappropriatepirate, @naenae87, @xllxni, @aquabrie, @canumoveyourseatup-no, @borderline-person