Do you know what it’s like living with a debilitating hormonal disorder where you feel like you’re perfectly in line with what’s going on around you in a moment and then *snap* all doom and gloom? Where picking up your feet to move them to the next step feels like you’re PHYSICALLY lifting weights? (Why is my body so heavy all of a sudden???) It’s no wonder so many women get misdiagnosed as bipolar who have PMDD. I, as well as anybody close to me, can tell you without a doubt, that am not bipolar. But right now, I am sad. I. Am. So. Sad. I have no reason. The only reason being, that I have PMDD. And for as much as “they” (researchers? doctors? scientists?) have figured out, all of my hormone levels are normal, but my body responds to my own hormones as if I’m allergic to them. Right now I feel like my major life choices were poor, like I’ve wasted my opportunities, like I hate the skin I’m in. It’s a feeling I wouldn’t wish upon ANYBODY. It’s a feeling you can only escape via drugs or death. Or when this wave of PMDD subsides. Until it comes again. Either this round or next round. But that’s the thing with PMDD, you never know which symptoms that you experience, to expect each cycle. Some months are way better and some months are so. So. So. bad. Maybe this will be a bad month. Who knows. This is only my first appearance of symptoms. No, nix that. Headaches. Horrid headaches. And I just want to crawl underneath the covers with my dog and cats. I’ll live though. I will. Always do. :)
