been a while since my last post.
the world (ooopps please it’s not human im talkin about. what i meant is those fishes in the sea n those grass untrimmed on the earth who definitely cared about me so much hahha) okay. the world must be shocked to know that out of nowhere i got into a UNIVERSITY. means that im going to pursue my studies in DEGREE next two weeks. wow
this is so surreal to me that i literally pinch and ask myself for the next three days if there are any mistakes or am i dreaming because i saw a CONGRATS on that website
and the most funniest yet surreal of all is the fact that i got into engineering courses. can u see me in the future playing with numbers, critical thinking aand mathematics? yeap. i didnt see it too.
it is too damn weird. i never thought that such happiness could happen after so much failure. i go through my foundation year with FAILURES EVERY SINGLE DAY, yeah,
-i have failed almost every subject
-i studied harder and failed hard too
-people criticize me for my failures (FOR GOD SAKE THEY INSULT ME DONT U KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS ME I STUDIED SO HARD THAT MY PEE SMELLED LIKE NESCAFE AND I BREATHE N SMELLED LIKE NESCAFE EVEN AT NOON BECAUSE I CONSUMED IT SO MUCH BECAUSE I F*****G SLEEP SO LITTLE!)
-getting laughed at when i ask for a teaching
-insults insults and insults
-dead end because i dont have any solutions anymore
-decided to die but it is haram to do it so i became numb
-decided to go with the flow until i get old while still livin in the same curse until i die
-lowest pointer i guess, 2.33 is the lowest among my classmates laaa at least,
-already make plans if i failed this upu application im going to work at pizza hut, saves some money, stop seeing my friends, buy a kancil with cash money from that pizza job and starts back by doing a diploma (seeeeeeeeeeee, i am so angelic and so optimist that i wont let curses bring me down *no matter how down i am in the drain*)
AND SUDDENLY I GOT A CONGRATULATIONS FROM UPU APPLICATIONS TELLING ME I GOT INTO ENGINEERING COURSES, YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
and i always keep that one thing in mind. whatever bad things that happened to me is a TEST. and a LESSON. so that next time if i ever across the same struggles or others are going through it, i can reassure them that life must go on and Allah loves u and everything that happened is full of reasons behind it.
i admits that i almost give up. i teared so much, i cursed too too much. i hate too much things. very little patience, but He still give me CHANCES.
so my only hope to myself right now is to make sure those chances never be a waste,
amin.
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