ive been rereading my older stuff and i literally do not want to think about this stuff being out in the world. do you feel that way about your old fic? they're all amazing to me, but youve been at this longer and im sure you made your mistakes before dragon age
There are fics I wrote back when I was a teenager, and I cringe to think of them now. I know they’re out there, somewhere, because nothing is ever really gone from the Internet. But I hope I’m the only one who remembers them.
Stuff from my Digimon days, my Beyblade days (oh god, that was a train crash of a fandom). Even a lot of my early Dragon Age stuff (even some of my more recent Dragon Age stuff). It’s rare I’ll re-read something after a period and still be happy with it.
More than once a week I consider just purging my blog and AO3 and deviantart of all my writing because I find myself hating it. I’m painfully self-critical, and if I don’t hate what I’ve written less than a couple of hours after writing it, I consider it a win.
The thing is though, despite how I feel about those fics now, and how much I cringe about them, especially the Digimon and Beyblade stuff - ultimately writing them helped me through some difficult times as I was growing up, and helped me develop as a writer.
No, I will never be a published author, loved by generations to come. I am not the next author prodigy. And that’s cool. I’m happy writing fics, because it’s still a creative outlet. And even though I sometimes doubt - a lot - if I’ve improved from when I first started writing fics (which was around the age of 12/13 and I wrote fic for CATS (yes, the musical)) I still wouldn’t stop writing them.]
I like to think, or I hope at least, I improve. And it fills me with so much joy to know other people read and get enjoyment from these dumbass ideas I had that wouldn’t leave me alone.
