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Tell me what lutefisk smells like.

It smells kind of weird, like that time I boiled a corpse in a big metal pot just because I was curious.

Tomorrow's Horoscopes:

Horoscope for Scorpio:

"You will say something meaningless today, but you will tell it in a firm and confident way that makes it sound profound."

Today's horoscopes:

2/24/2015

Aries: You are fully prepared to embrace your inner demon today. Look for a bright color that just pumps you up

Taurus: Your imagination is so very vivid. It's like a movie that is so real it's just wrong

Gemini: So you want a sign from God? Go outside and look at the moon.

Cancer: Answer the door and start a new conversation with a stranger.

Leo: Make a vow to yourself and keep it. To yourself alone.

Virgo: Drop your plan for tomorrow and focus on the moment. The moment is all you have

Libra: Plan to plan to plan to plan and then quit when you're not getting any of it done

Scorpio: A new perspective always helps. Pulling your head out of your ass is a good place to start

Sagittarius: What the hell are you so afraid of? Pick one and conquer it.

Capricorn: Loneliness is just an app on your phone. Click it off and use it less.

Aquarius: It's alright to enjoy things even when you're not looking for the deeper meaning.

Pisces: We're all monsters. Let your inner monster free.

Hi Frank, do you eat soup? Will you eat soup? When will you eat soup?

This is just another name for the sea.

I'll pour one out for you tomorrow, Frank. What kind of beverage would you like to be poured out in your honor?

Hot tea, ideally. Thanks!

As a giant spider, what kind of career advice can you give me?

Be friends with the fly whose web you live in.

Hi, I need help.

What is your True Name?

Thank you for your compliance.

Oh, to know my True Name would be incalculably bad for my health

Frank, I've heard you're good with predictions. Can you tell me what I'm having for dinner today?

You're having a banana and a shot of whiskey.

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