#nwm12

[starchmonroe]

Well deserved✨🏃🏁 #nwm12 #nike #tiffanyandco #whatdidyourjobgetyou? #ntsfspoiled #hashtag #didntrun26.2 #ntsf #butigangnamstyled26.2 #damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangsta #hashtag #swoosh (at Niketown San Francisco)

[essjayvee]

MARATHON POST!

I know I haven't been posting as much as I originally indicated that I would, thus leading to posts that cover the general gist of how the running and life is carrying on instead of my earlier posts which touched on the random thoughts and fleeting ideas that came to me while running.  Most of you (can there be a majority with an audience of 2?) are thankful for this, but I'm a little disappointed because I intended this blog to be a reminder to myself how I felt while running and possibly an inspiration (look where I came from, aren’t I great!) to keep running. 

But, I’m computer-less and financially unable to fix my netbook right now or buy another.  Justifying any investment into these items seems extravagant, particularly because blogging, Netflix, and blocking people on Facebook are the only uses I put a computer to these days as all other search, games, Facebook functions, and navigation tools are easy enough to manage on my iPhone.  Therefore, I apologize to all who were trying to follow along on my merry ride.  Mostly I apologize to my older, wealthier, knock-out, professional future-self because having employed the best of your many coping mechanisms, you will have blocked out the memory of this year and the hot mess that was you in 2012, and will therefore not be able to look back and fully appreciate how far you’ve come.   I’m sorry me, but maybe it’s best that we forget.

Now.  On to more exciting subject matter: the Marathon.  In case you were wondering, I exceeded my fundraising minimum and didn’t have to pay any more money to subject my body to severe, prolonged torture.  Hurrah! and thank you to those who donated!  For those of you who still want to, you can, but I won’t appreciate you as much because the pressure resulting from having to pay the remainder myself has been relieved.  Just kidding (kind of).  I’m thinking of holding a Payoff Sara’s Debts so that She has a Chance at Getting a Meaningful (Read: poorly paid) job abroad fundraiser though, so you’re welcome to contribute to that cause.  All checks can be made out to Sara Veltkamp.  Sorry, not tax deductible.

The Marathon itself was absolutely amazing.  I was standing there, looking up and down the street that functioned as the starting line and was absolutely blown away by the sheer number of people participating in the race.  25,000 is a lot of people particularly when the vast majority of said people are women.  Not that women are bigger, but I like to think that we take up more space.

I was too far from the starting line to actually hear the gun, but 15 minutes later I was off.  A coach saw me cross the starting line at a nearly full sprint and I could see that look in his eyes advising me to slow down, but I had spent the last several hours pumping myself up so it took a mile or two to regulate.  My first near crying moment was only 3 or so miles in when a gospel choir was planted on the wharf singing “Oh when the Saints come marching in” in purple robes.  The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society raised over $10 million dollars on this race alone, which is pretty damn amazing.

The next thing I know, I’m running uphill in the Presidio at mile 6.  A nod to my coaches on this one, I nailed the hills in this race. Actually, I could barely even feel them.  People stopped and walked, slowed down etc., and while I’m sure I was not impressing anyone with my speed (besides myself, of course,) I passed a lot of runners who appeared more fit than I have ever been.  Thanks Tuesday night hill practices and the dreaded ladders. 

Running into Golden Gate Park (half-way point), I was really glad that I had decided not to do only the half marathon.  While it was really fun up until that point, I didn’t feel like I’d pressed myself enough and I wanted to see what I could do in the next few miles.  Mentally however, crossing halfway was really challenging.  There was a moment when the half marathoners (probably more than half of the participants) split off and all of a sudden, I felt like I was running alone.  Luckily, being in Team in Training, it wasn’t long until I saw one of the coaches on the course.  He ran with me for the next mile or so and gave me updates on our other teammates and got me excited to keep going.

After leaving Golden Gate, I hit the most difficult part of the run for me.  Not only because I was tired, I was used to that by now with all the training, but because I was bored.  I was ready to fist punch the air at the finish line and go get a drink with my friends in San Francisco.  And I still had 10 miles to run.  Even more crushing was getting to Lake Merced and seeing the sheer size of it.  It looked like Lake Michigan as far as I was concerned, but in reality was only 3 or 4 miles around.  Luckily, I had my headphones with me and my running mix was queued up to go.  The first song to play on the random mix made me giggle to myself, it being a song that Brian often plays at work on Saturday night at Crow, a soul number called Bar B Que by Wendy Rene.  It made me think of all my friends there and how much support I’d gotten from them throughout the training…  plus it’s just a fun song to move to featuring a back-hand-springing boy and a cat on a stone just begging for barbequed meats. 

Finally, I was what we’ll generously call running my final miles (pictures indicate more of a shuffle).  I knew I was close to my goal time (broadly under 5 hours) but was finding it difficult to pick up my feet and run the last miles.  Miraculously right about that time, two of my coaches saw me and came to run with me the final mile.  I told them that I wanted to be under 5 hours and they set the pace.  They also got the crowd cheering for me which was embarrassing, but secretly exactly what I wanted.  I ran the last half mile or so on my own with people I didn’t even know cheering me on.  My final time was 4:53 which I call good enough.  The whole finish line extravaganza was kind of a blur and it really still hasn’t hit me that I finished.  But I have the Tiffany Necklace/ medal to prove it.

I know this is long, but please indulge me in some further insight.  I was a little disappointed upon finishing.  Not in myself, or the race, or the support from the coaches and team, that was all amazing.  I was disappointed because it really didn’t feel like an accomplishment.  It is, I know it is, but when I crossed the finish line I thought, “Well, that wasn’t so hard.” With all the support and training I was really prepared for the pace that I ran, which is a good thing and made the accomplishment possible.  But thinking back, the hardest thing about the Marathon was getting out there on my own on the days I only had to run 3 or 4 miles.  Running 26 miles with everyone was hard but inspiring.  Struggling through 3-mile runs, alone, every Wednesday and Thursday morning was hard and not very immediately rewarding at all.  I can’t help but draw comparisons in my non-running life.  What I need to accomplish isn’t that hard.  I can get a job, people with less experience and qualifications do it all the time.  I can pay off debt, even though it feels pretty insurmountable right now.  What’s difficult to face is that I feel like I’m doing it alone and the payoff is so far in the future that it feels like I’ll never get there.  And now that the Marathon is over, I don’t have that mini accomplishment to distract me.  

Not that Marathoning was merely a distraction.  It was intended to be a game changer, an insight producer, a self-builder and it was all of those things.  But now the real stuff can’t be put off any longer.  I’m more prepared to deal with it, but it’s going to be a long, hard slog to the finish line.

[marathonrunningg]

It's NWM eve!! Today we braved the crazy San Franciscan streets and battled or way through crowds and long lines to pick up our race packets. Dark and early tomorrow morning we will be setting out to again brave the craziness that comes with 25,000 people attempting to line up for the start. I'm nervous and excited and glad I'm getting to run it with my running buddies! This is the first long race where I'm running it purely for fun. (We have some pretty awesome wardrobe pieces we will be sporting tomorrow). Ready set go!