Now that I am home. Showered and waiting to go get some much needed food (still haven't had anything real today), I figure I'll take a few minutes to recap today's race.
I didn't have very high expectations for today. After Chicago, my only plan was to prove that it was the shoes, have a decent race, and mark New York off my todo list. What happened though, felt like an anomaly, and makes me think I've been holding out on myself.
I came very close to actually completing 3 of my longterm goals today, I missed one of them just barely, but I honestly can say that I tried as hard as I could.
First, of course, was to run New York. This one had been haunting me for a couple years. This is the city I live in, and I hadn't participated yet. That just felt wrong, especially considering how many times I've travelled to do races in other places. I am beyond grateful that I gave myself the chance to experience today's race. There really isn't much like it. Chicago is nice, but there is something purely amazing about seeing all the neighborhoods in Brooklyn, then crossing into Manhattan (after a brief stay in Queens), to the most amazing crowd ever. Very glad I got to be on the receiving end of such great energy.
Second, to run a marathon from start to finish, without stopping. Technically, I didn't complete this, because I stopped for 15 seconds at mile 2, because I was having trouble typing and running ... damn live blogging races that no one cares to see. :-P Anyway, I'm giving this one to myself, because I didn't stop because I needed a break, I stopped because of technical difficulty. No matter how hard today's race got, and it got hard (oh the hills), I kept moving forward. I am so proud of myself for pushing through everything. I felt great for most of the race, it was really the last 4-5 miles where I could really feel the wear on my legs. I was so close though, that I knew that I would regret it if I stopped to walk, even once.
Mostly, I knew it wouldn't be just once, it would be a dozen times, because I knew if I stopped moving, my legs wouldn't be able to start again. When I crossed the finish line and stopped, I almost collapsed, because my legs immediately turned to jelly. I cannot express how proud I am to have pushed through all of it. It was the hardest thing I've ever done and I firmly believe I am a better person for proving to myself that I'm capable of not giving up.
Third, here's the one I missed, I really wanted to run a sub 5-hour marathon. I was actually on pace for this for most of the race. I think I realized I had real potential to hit it somewhere around mile 10. At that point, I just started telling myself, just keep going forward and you'll get it! I was on pace for it too, but that pace continually got slower, and slower, until I was barely able to maintain a 12:00 pace. Turns out the last big hill on 5th Avenue burned through everything I had left. After that point it was out of pure stubbornness that I didn't stop. I just didn't have any gears left though. I new by about mile 24 that it was going to be extremely close, and unless I could pull myself to an 11:30 pace, I wouldn't make it. So I tried my hardest, but I just could maintain anything faster than 11:50. By the time I entered the park at Columbus Circle and saw the 26 mile banner 300 yards away, with 3 minutes left, I knew it was over. I needed to hit a 9:30 pace for the remainder of the race to even have a chance and my legs just didn't have it.
I don't mind though. I ended at about 5:01:23, and I know I did everything in my power to get that number. It would have been amazing to get the sub 5, but given that I didn't train in any real way, how can I reasonably expect my body to know how to handle this distance. At the end of the day, I am beyond pleased. I PRd, and I did it by pushing myself to my limit.
To the future!
Anyway, this is my last marathon for a while. I made the decision in Chicago that I need to stop putting my body through this torture, without proper training. So I've decided, that until I'm sure that I'm fully capable of running a sub 4-hour marathon (realistically, closer to 3:50), I'm done with this game. Today was my great close to my marathon life, if that is the way it happens to pan out.
Hopefully though, I decide to get serious about it one day and step up my game. I know I'm capable of much more in this arena, if only I'd put the time in. Realistically though, I just don't want to spend so much time long run training. So for now, my 2 focuses are simple:
Do crossfit a lot.
Run a faster 5k (~25 minutes).
I'd like to also get my half-marathon time to sub 2-hours. I don't think I'm too terribly far from this, and might be able to make it happen by next spring. I'm going to try my best to make it happen. Honestly, the half distance is my favorite anyway, so I really should be focusing there.
So, that's it for now. Thanks for all the great support from everyone, on tumblr and in the real world. You guys really helped propel me, whether you know it or not. :)
