#nycmustarter

[waldorfs1x1-blog]

Having a functional alcoholic for a mother gives me plenty of excellent stand-up comedy material. If only I wasn’t an artist with zero interest in performing, I could actually put some use to this annoying shit that keeps raining on me. 

Shit rain. That would be a really cool band name. 

Also, I’m single again. Because i just walked in on my mom fucking my boyfriend. Again.

[waldorfs1x1-blog]

Don’t underestimate bakers, no matter how tiny they may be! Carrying around fifty pound sacks of flower isn’t as easy as you’d think...or maybe I just need to start hitting the gym.  (Good joke, I don’t even know where to find a gym.) Either way, since moving from a truck to a storefront, I feel like I’ve gained serious muscle mass. Those mass industrial size flour bags will do that to you! What’s the point of a gym when you can just spend a few hours in my kitchen? Maybe I should become a personal trainer! People can work for me and work on their biceps. You just have to be as out of shape as me!

[waldorfs1x1-blog]

JFK on Presidents day is surprisingly relaxing. There’s something so charming about airports, though I do prefer traveling privately. I didn’t believe in meditation until I was alone at a Dunkin’ Donuts at 3 AM in JFK, with just the homeless people to keep me sane. 

Needless to say, I’m happy to be home. My Las Vegas trip was lucrative, but there’s nothing like the city that never sleeps. What’s happening tonight, guys?