Melancholia
{part Eight}
Fandom: Obey me!
Genre: Angst
Written for F!Mc
WC: ~2.1k
Music Accompaniment (The Bird and the Worm thru It's Been Awhile)
CW: heavy on the angst, similar to “replaced” au but with Simeon being “replaced”, depression, depictions of aggressive/violent thoughts, sexual intimacy implied, allusion to past sexual violence in Vermillion Skies, nightmare, vague illusion to torture.
>> Though I have a Masters Degree in Psychology, I am not your therapist. If you have experienced any form of depression or suicidal thoughts, and are in need of help, please utilize the Suicide Prevention Lifeline, NIMH helpline, or the SAMHSA helpline. <<
You can find any future parts by searching the tag #Vermillion Skies or #Melancholia on my blog! I have added it to all parts!”
Series Masterlist
The next few days flew by quickly, for most- with the exception of Simeon. He watched from afar as those he once fostered closeness with existed in relative peace without him. He watched from the side as Luke and Mc joyfully rekindled their love of baking together, and saw Raphael becoming accepted with open arms by the demons in Devildom, while he was whispered about in the halls and mostly avoided.
Simeon sighed, running a hand through his hair as he stared into the bathroom mirror. The jealousy and heartache was almost becoming too much to bear. It only worsened with the onset of classes, finding the workload and expectations of the Royal Academy were far beyond what he experienced as an exchange student. Part of him felt sympathy for the brothers for their continuous struggle with passing classes while Lucifer berated them for poor marks, but another part of him was furious in that they got to wallow in their pity together. Simeon gritted his teeth, fighting the urge to punch the mirror as the anger seeped into his soul.
It appears that the price of love was a heavier burden to bear than he had anticipated.
The weight was slung heavily over his hunched shoulders as he snaked around the crowded RAD hallway to his next class. He sat through Devildom History with complete disinterest, only focusing on staring at the back of Mc’s head a few rows in front of him. He scribbled mindlessly in his notebook as he watched the subtle movements of her body: the way she massaged the ache in her neck, the slight lean forward when the professor said something interesting, the gentle glide of her hand when she wrote something down, and the barely-audible tap of her pen on the desk when she was idly listening.
It wasn’t the first time this week that she had preoccupied his thoughts, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.
The dismissal from the professor meant their schedules aligned, and Simeon was hoping against all odds that Mc would agree to eat Lunch with him. After all, he had been isolated for so long, and this week had clearly been hellish for him...surely the compassionate MC would find it in her heart to accept his invitation. He stood outside the classroom, eager to confront her as she exited the room and walk with her to the dining hall.
“Is there something you need?” A deep voice from behind made the slight, hopeful smile on his lips turn into a disdained frown. He turned his head just enough to see Lucifer approaching suavely, picnic basket, wine, and blanket in his arms. Simeon’s heart sank, dejection making the pit in his stomach grow quickly in size. The dignity of a response was sucked out of him, and he merely stared at the classroom doorway to ignore Lucifer’s presence. Lucifer narrowed his eyes, peaking in the room to see Mc talking to professor alone.
“I was hoping to ask Mc about something.” Simeon murmured, now leaning his body against the frame.
“Oh?” Lucifer inquired in suspicion, moving to stand opposite of Simeon. His eyes were dripping with aggressive intent, thinking he had made his statement on leaving his lover alone clear to him. “And what, pray tell, might that be?”
Simeon scoffed, mumbling under his breath. “Hardly any of your damn business.”
Lucifer scowled, his voice venomous. “I beg your pardon?”
“I said I had to ask her about an assignment.” Simeon rolled his eyes, fighting back the shaking fists that threatened to form under Lucifer’s hard stare. “But it seems like she’s busy, so I’ll just-”
“Luci!” Mc cooed in delight, latching onto Lucifer’s arm and pulling him down to plant a kiss on his cheek.
Lucifer throws a satisfied smirk at Simeon before giving her a gentle hug in response. “Good afternoon, love. Ready to go?”
Mc nods excitedly, intertwining her fingers with his. Just as they’re about to walk away, she notices Simeon standing there watching. She freezes, anxiety welling up in her stomach at the sight of his clenched fists and flat-lined expression. “Simeon? What’s the matter..?”
“Nothing. I’ll just ask you about it later.” Simeon spat, unintentionally coming off to Mc as needlessly aggravated.
Mc looked between Simeon’s calloused expression and Lucifer’s watchful eyes, figuring they had just had a spat. She tried to smile, but the looming awkwardness betrayed her expression. “Okay, sure. I’ll see you later then.”
Simeon nodded, watching from his peripherals as Lucifer and Mc strolled happily away. He felt his chest tighten, the urge to do horrid things to Lucifer crawling up into his consciousness as Simeon imagined the unholy things the brutish demon would do with her. Part of him felt insulted that Mc would choose such a man over him. Another part of him was jealous of Lucifer being able to enjoy the sins of the flesh with such an astonishing person. And a final part of him was angry that he was even thinking about such things after his talk with Mc. Why couldn’t he just let it go?
Unfair. The word repeated itself in his mind. Fate truly has damned me to a life of pining for something that can never be.
Simeon turned, arms crossed over his chest as if to stabilize himself as he fought the blended emotions racing through his head. Hopelessness plagued each thought, the reality of his loneliness coming to fruition in front of his eyes. He began to wonder if any of the other demons had felt this intensity of dejection before.
“She hasn’t really been doing much...just going throughout classes like normal.” Raphael paused, trying to think if he remembered anything recent. “Simeon has been hovering around her a lot though.”
“How close has he been to her?” Michael asked curiously, now leaning forward in his chair. His interest in the human and Simeon’s relationship was piqued at the mere mention that they had rekindled a relationship.
Raphael rubbed his forehead with his hand. “Uhh, not very, I guess? I mean, with Lucifer on her hip it’s kind of hard for him to get close. He’s like a guard dog. Even me coming over under the innocuous guise of catching up with him was seen as a threat. She was on his lap the entire time we talked.”
“Depravity.” Michael grumbled under his breath, anger rising in his chest at the mere thought of someone he once called a close friend engaging in such a disgraceful way. “I am shocked at how this seductress of a human had seemingly somehow snatched every individual in the devildom by the balls.”
“Well, not everyone likes her.” Raphael noted, remembering hearing some demons wishing she had died a painful death as a result of a rumored assault. “It appears as though she means more than the world to the brothers though- and even the demon prince and his steward seem infatuated with her.”
“What are your thoughts?” Michael posed the question curiously, wondering if Raphael had unknowingly been drawn in by her feminine wiles. “I’d like to hear your impression of her.”
“Hmm...” Raphael shrugged. “I’m not too convinced she’s anything special. I’m curious of what has even angels drawn to her, if anything. But otherwise she doesn’t seem that appealing.”
“And what of Luke’s relationship to the human?”
Raphael paused. He swallowed hard, remembering how happy the small angel was to see the human. He talked about her so much when they were alone, you’d think the woman was his mother. “He seems to be- uh- somewhat fond of her.”
Michael gritted his teeth, anger rising steadily higher at the traces of uncertainty in his agent’s voice. “How much is somewhat, Raphael? I do hope you aren’t hiding anything from me.”
“He seems to enjoy her company, and talks highly of her...” Raphael paused upon hearing Michael’s heavy breath on the other end of the phone. “...but I doubt highly he values her over any fragment of the celestial realm- especially you, sir.”
Michael scoffed. “Clearly you underestimate the power this human holds. If Lucifer and Simeon can fall for her faux charm- so much so that their entire being surrounds her- then I believe she could harbor ill intent toward the Celestial realm.”
“I really don’t think-”
“I don’t know exactly what she is planning, but we will end it before it begins. First though, we need evidence- and that is your sole job I pay you to do. Is that clear?” Michael growled into the phone, not letting Raphael finish his thoughts.
After a pregnant pause, Raphael let out a sigh. “Crystal, sir.”
Simeon shot straight up in a cold sweat. The pitch-black room seemed to spin before him as he came down from the adrenaline of the nightmare that plagued his sleep. He could still hear the screams of Mc clear as day as they reverberated into the recesses of his mind. He ran a hand through his hair, scanning the room to get some semblance of grounding before standing and rushing to the bathroom.
The cool water that was splashed onto his face relieved the heat he felt under his skin, but did nothing to solve the fear pounding through his heart. The images flashing through his mind of angels in pristine armor torturing the poor woman nearly made him vomit in disgust. What’s worse, is that behind the scene was a very pleased Michael, along with a very frail and distressed Lucifer who was held firmly by Michael’s armed guards.
The prophetic powers had to have ceased when he fell from grace, right?
Simeon turned off the faucet, staring into his reflection. His breath was heavy as it forced its way passed his teeth in labor, only to be sucked back in with a desperation seen by those starved for air. His thoughts raced back through the dream, trying to recall anything that was said. But just as fragmented as it had appeared to him, the dream vanished into thin air- wisped away from his memory like fallen leaves in the wind.
“Simeon?”
He turned quickly, shocked to see Luke standing in his pajamas in the doorway to the bathroom. “Luke...”
He rubbed his eyes sleepily, looking at the former angel with concerned curiosity. “Is everything okay? I heard you yell from my room.”
Simeon turned his gaze away and his face drained, embarrassed to know his nightmares had caused a ruckus the third night his roommates had finally come to stay from their temporary retreat at the castle.
Luke grew more concerned the longer Simeon stayed silent. He paused, trying to think of what to do. Clearly he had had a bad dream, but just didn’t want to discuss it with him- or maybe he did, but didn’t know if he should.
Luke could relate to the awkwardness Simeon was feeling, as he felt it too. The urge he felt to be close to Simeon again was strong, and he longed to rekindle their friendship sooner than what had been asserted by Mc. He recalled their gentle embrace as he cried into their arms, begging her for some advice on how to approach the situation.
“Things like this need time to heal, Luke. You have to actually work thought the conflicting feelings rather than pushing them away...And you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable to the fact that this wont be the same as before, but that isn’t always bad.”
She said it with such confidence, part of him felt silly for ever thinking otherwise. He knew that he could still have a friendship with him as time went on, but he felt scared of what it would look like. He knew Mc was right- that different didn’t always mean scary...Perhaps he just needed to take the first steps.
“Do you want me to make you some tea? I can heat up some of the Devilberry popovers I made yesterday..?”
Simeon turned to him, blinking back his surprise at the offer. “Huh?”
“It’s not really any trouble. Plus, they’re really tasty. Barbatos said so himself!” Luke smiled nervously, hoping this offer would produce a start of healing- just like Mc had said.
Simeon mulled it over for a moment, before returning Luke’s offer with a warm smile. “I’d like nothing more.”
