#obmswd shitpost

[l3viat8an]

*out on a date*

MC: You're staring again….

Mammon: *Already three shots in to ‘calm him nerves’* Listen!!! If ya didn't want me staring at you on dates, swooning and imagining our lives together, maybe, just maybe!! You shouldn't be so damn gorgeous!!

[l3viat8an]

MC: How do I politely tell someone I want to hit them in the face with a brick?

Satan: “One wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in the building of walls.” Simply put, like that.

MC:*dramatically whipping a tear from their cheek* Satan, that was beautiful.

[l3viat8an]

MC: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Lucifer periodically send me texts saying "we need to talk.” It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

[l3viat8an]

MC: I'm sad….

Diavolo: Do you want me to take off my shirt?

Barbatos: Young master, no-

MC: Shhh, Barbatos! Let him finish!

[l3viat8an]

MC:*Knocking on Asmo's bedroom door* Are you decent?

Asmo: Not morally no, but I'm wearing pants if that's what you're asking.

[l3viat8an]

MC: Can you do me a favour?

Belphie: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene and take the blame for it if you asked me to.

MC:…okay.…so can you do the dishes?

Belphie: No.

[l3viat8an]

Mammon: I'm ignoring you.

MC:…

Mammon: I said I'm ignoring you!!!

MC:…

Mammon: Stop ignoring me! When I'm ignoring you!!

[l3viat8an]

Kidnapper: I have one of your brothers.

Lucifer: Which one? I have six.

Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.

Lucifer: Which one? I have six.