Orphan black ship: Allison/Felix, platonic misanthropic life partners
shops for groceries - Alison does the shopping. She's got it down to a science, and that one time she sent Felix out he came back with off brand dish detergent that wasn't even scented.
kills the spiders - Alison. She's terrified of spiders, but her initial reaction isn't so much to run away as it is to run AT the spiders and destroy them. She usually freaks out a few seconds after when she realizes she got spider guts all over one of her favorite shoes.
comes home drunk at 3am - Felix more often than Alison. He's more likely to go out and get drunk and then stumble home at 3 am. If she's drunk at 3 am, it's because she's gone through an entire bottle of wine on the sofa watching something on her DVR.
makes breakfast - Felix, reluctantly. Neither one of them is particularly useful in the mornings, but since Alison doesn't eat breakfast at all, Felix discovers that if he wants to eat, it's up to him.
remembers to feed the fish - Alison. She doesn't let Felix near the fish tank.
decorates the apartment - They fight about this a lot. They have to work out a compromise system because they both have very strong opinions about how the apartment should be decorated and their opinions are generally not compatible.
initiates duets - Alison only trusts Felix when she's running her lines. He has no choice by to rehearse with her for whatever her theater is doing next.
falls asleep first - Felix usually falls asleep first, unless Alison takes some kind of sleep aid. Usually Alison stays awake longer because her mind is running a mile a minute worrying about things.