#obscurus.txt

[endurancemission]

#1 guy at odds with his dad turns out to be just like his dad

[endurancemission]

raging and crying and upsetting yourself in an attempt to be heard and seen is a fruitless endeavor. there comes a point where you must quit trying to live like a person. it is easier to live as a simple, primitive, worthless animal. you are already used to it. stop running. take it on fully. it will hurt you less when you lay down to die. hurting to self soothe and condition yourself to the pains of homecoming is far more sensible than hurting for recognition. reject all humanity and stop pretending

[endurancemission]

can you pencil my death in on the calendar-? no you dont have to be available ik youre busy i just wanted to let u know- other possible dates..? well shoot i dunno. ik this isnt that far in advance. my bad. no no its chill, dw abt it. i just wanted to give you a heads up. uh yeah sure we'll play it by ear! yeah no worries. we'll see. yeah no i have an appointment that day idk if i can swing it then-

[endurancemission]

"taking your own life would make a lot of people sad" i am quickly nearing the point where im Intentionally hoping that happens.

[endurancemission]

almost got hit by a car yesterday (as usual) but right now i feel so awful i wish it actually did

[endurancemission]

[endurancemission]

having to eat a meal every day and sometimes buying food or ingredients for said meal

[endurancemission]

gheres something so damn Isolating and Angering about losing a sense. i feel so fucjing helpless. no wonder other people treat me like a child.