I’m not exactly sure why my “try to focus on something else” activity became the gym. The gym being literally right next to my office might have been the reason.
I mean, that’s convenient.
It took a while for me to actually start seeing results, and there are other aspects of my gymming that I’d like to discuss in the future as positive elements of my journey, but I’d like to say as more or less a blanket statement that exercise does more for you than improving your physical health; my emotional health skyrocketed during this time.
But again, that’s a topic for the future and I don’t have the right words yet.
Back to the gymming. There were a bunch of YouTube channels I’d watch, subreddits I’d read, etc. in order to learn more about my physical health and how best to exercise, both for what my goals were and for how to safely do it.
I got really into nutrition and was tracking everything. That big excel sheet I mentioned in the comic? There’d be tons of inputs from my fitness tracker matched with all my nutrition tracking, and at the end of the series of formulas, it’d spit out what my calculated weight should be. I’d also track the actual, real life recorded metrics, and after months and months of tracking and formulas, the math worked out that my calculated and actual weight were within one pound of each other.
If I could control my body so precisely through just nutrition and exercise, maybe I could control more than just my athleticism.
Maybe I could take the leap and start to control what really bugged me about my body.
Maybe I didn’t have to be male.
…I could be who I wanted to be.
