“This could be a disaster.”
The thought had run rampant through her mind countless times within the last week and a half. Elaborate scenarios of infinite doom played in the woman’s mind on a loop. She was the star in a play that revolved around themes of rejection, humiliation and abandonment. The role of fool was created for her and her alone and she played it well. This drama produced by the leading lady Elyse Collins had started the moment she had thought of reaching out to her estranged friend in hopes that they would help her on a professional endeavor. Estranged was a strong word but honestly Elyse couldn’t think of another way to describe the current state of her and Altar’s relationship. Sure, they still talked, if one considered bi-weekly check ins and social media likes as talking. A decade of friendship had been reduced to water cooler chatter, phrases like, “Do you have plans this weekend?” and “What are you cooking tonight?” took the place of meaningful and personal conversation. All because Elyse couldn’t keep her lips to herself.
It was a heat of the moment thing, the two of them, alone in her dorm room, no roommate to disturb them. Cuddled up on the couch with Poltergeist on in the background, a horror movie Elyse had seen a thousand times over, and had subjected Altar to watch again.
Having looked up at just the right time to catch him peering down at her she made her move. What she saw in his expression made her heart skip and her skin flush - it looked as though all of the emotions she had crammed deep down inside may have actually been reciprocated. How long had he been looking at her that way? Not just that evening, but all the subsequent ones they had shared together over the years.
The young woman had only just recently realized that she had some very complicated emotions for him, something her college roommate at the time had pointed out to her one evening before bed. The frequency in which Elyse and Altar talked, despite the distance between them hinted that maybe, just maybe, there was something there. At least that’s what Rebecca thought on the matter.
Elyse had thought that if there was something there that it was certainly only on her side and countered such to her. To which the tired psychology major rolled her eyes and promptly shut the light off, leaving Elyse in the dark to wonder if it were possible that Altar felt anything romantic in regard to her. Every attempt she had made with the opposite gender and even the same over the last decade had always ended poorly and she could only come up with one common denominator there. Herself.
She had to be fundamentally flawed somehow. Something in her genetic makeup made others run for cover once they transitioned from the talking stage to something more exclusive. El could count on one hand how many relationships lasted past the three month rule, and even then things had been wonderful on her end. It never made sense to her as to why she was always discarded in the end. Through every breakup and ghosting Elyse turned to the only person who cared, and as much as she'd loved that person to be her mother, it wasn’t.
Altar was consistent in her life, unlike most things, and the last year and a half had been nothing short of torture with how little the two actually talked. It was her fault that things were so strained and she didn’t know how to fix it. She was the one who ran, the one who couldn’t confront her emotions and in turn let the strongest relationship she had suffer. It was easier to avoid the twisted tangle of emotions that the male provoked in her. Choosing instead to carry forth like the incident hadn’t happened at all.
Altar had been nothing short of an angel after the incident. He steadily assured Elyse that there was absolutely nothing to worry about and that the kiss and what transpired after it wasn’t something that would hurt their friendship. She didn’t understand how something so pivotal and transformative to her, was something so easily brushed away by him. That kiss was an imprint in time that she revisited often. Reliving the moment, savoring that unmistakable feeling, only to then be flooded by embarrassment and fear. She had reached for what she thought was everything she’d had wanted, at the risk of losing it all in the process and still fumbled.
What did the Killers say in that one song? It was only a kiss. Well they were wrong, it was so much more than that. It was hanging between life, maintaining the easy friendship the two shared, and death; entering uncharted waters and risking drowning while exploring the unknown. The young woman wasn’t strong enough to survive the current if Altar let go - so she planted her feet firmly in the sand and refused to step foot on that ship.
As much as that moment in their friendship haunted her it didn’t haunt her as much as the idea of her future slipping through her fingertips. A very unique opportunity that she didn’t have the privilege of blowing had recently fallen into her lap. Her internship with the Santa Monica Post was coming to a close which meant she should have gained the necessary skills in the field to go off on her own and make a name for herself. Granted she knew her time as a coffee runner wasn’t in vain. She had a vision, an obscure one maybe, but a vision nonetheless and she was going to make it come true. The company had a few open positions available through their parent company to offer the eager interns and Elyse was gunning for one position in particular; life-style blogger. If she were able to snag this role, then she could influence the whole of LA and beyond on their views of all things strange and unusual.
It was ambitious, naive even, to think that something so obscure would be received when other competing interns had more stable ideas. She was willing to try, to get her name out there and prove to her mother and everyone else that doubted her that she had what it took to be a published and successful author.
The goal for her submission was to travel to supposedly haunted or energetically disturbed locations and conduct her own investigation from said place then report on it. While a lot of the content would be posted after the investigation, she figured she could conduct a live or two to engage with and rally interest in her finished piece. Was it self-serving? In part, yes, but it was also educational for others like her who loved the supernatural and what may lay beyond. It was a chance to use her degree in investigative journaling alongside her passion for horror and the macabre.
This little dream of hers had placed her in a sticky situation, while she was a pro at managing a blog, had been since she was a teen, she wasn’t a pro behind the lens of a camera. Any investigative journalist worth their weight gathered concrete evidence to bring to their audience, debunking or proving theories and legends. Elyse knew only one photographer that she would trust her career with, and that was Altar. The man’s work was absolutely beyond words, gallery worthy, and she knew, despite the creeping anxiety that she didn’t stand a chance without him. Sure, she could hire any photographer, but none of them were him. It wouldn’t be so awkward, she assured herself, if they were merely working as business partners. So with the encouragement of her friend Eric, another member she was bringing onto the investigative team, Elyse shoved her hesitation deep down inside of her and called.
While a large part of her thought she’d be rejected, the voice on the other line had been friendly and receptive, dare she even think excited, for the opportunity to work together. She had her doubts of course, and expressed them off the bat. This gig wasn’t fully financed, meaning, Elyse didn’t have the money in hand to pay Altar what he was worth. She did however have some savings that she was willing to dip into to pay for his time. Travel expenses were covered by the young woman’s credit card as would be food and anything else they may need to get the job done.
Elyse had taken her time getting out of bed the morning of the meeting, spending a lot of time staring at the water spots on the ceiling of her studio apartment. Her thoughts traced back through the years pulling up memories she hadn’t thought about in a while. The summer of sophomore year she’d met Altar at a party, he was cute, mysterious and apparently new to the area. Curious, Elyse took a wine cooler induced chance and struck up a conversation with him. Had she not had the nerve then she wouldn’t have to have the nerve now. Sighing at the way in which her mind worked the woman would finally untangle herself from her sheets and part ways with her bed. She went about her routine just fine, until it came down to what to wear and how she’d be doing her hair or makeup. Things she really hated that she cared about in that moment. She opted for something business casual, a black sundress and tights, a pair of off brand black combat boots and an olive green coverup. Her hair was an unruly mess of blonde curls that she brushed into somewhat manageable waves that haloed her face. She forwent anything fancy for makeup opting for a swipe of lip gloss and a single coat of waterproof mascara. With her wardrobe sorted Elyse had a little over twenty minutes before she was set to meet Altar. Since the cafe was a ten minute walk from her apartment she figured she’d leave early. It would give her some time to clear her head to make room for all the catastrophes it could manufacture within the short distance.
Waiting in the corner of the cafe with her back to the wall Elyse sat with the drinks she had ordered prior to Altar’s arrival. His drink order wasn’t nearly as complicated as hers, a large coffee with cream and sugar, simple, succinct, classic. She on the other hand had ordered a brown sugar shaken espresso with oat milk, double the espresso with a drizzle of caramel sauce. Which could have contributed to the nervous ticks she displayed while she waited impatiently. Before her a worn notebook was pressed flat along its spine, the binding broken due to excessive use. A black gel pen was poised in her hand ready to scribble any idea or feeling that came her way. Instead the pen tapped erratically against the dot grid pages, leaving little flecks of black ink behind. The time on her phone read 1:03 which was well within the ten minute window one would give before deciding they had been stood up. Seven minutes was an awfully long time to contemplate if her friend was ghosting her or if they had run into some sort of trouble. She had picked an odd time of day to meet hoping that traffic would be light and any travel plans would run smooth.
Blue eyes locked onto the entryway door for a fleeting moment in search of the man she had been actively avoiding. Deciding that making immediate eye contact the moment Altar walked in wouldn’t be the best move Elyse would shift in her seat to instead stare at the large monstera plant that took up residence beside her. A ping diverted her attention from the dramatic looking plant to her phone. She deftly unlocked the main screen to get to the messages inside hoping it was Altar altering her to his arrival. To her disappointment it wasn’t Altar, but rather Eric. Skimming the message the journalist couldn’t help but smile at the man’s attempt at humor. He knew how freaked she had been about the meet up and had sent her a meme to try and lighten the mood. It worked.
As she was about to reply, Elyse’s eyes were drawn towards the figure walking towards her table. Smile still in place, phone poised in her hand, the young woman would greet her guest of honor with enthusiasm. “Hey stranger!”
She didn’t know why but she was out of her seat, reflexively wanting to go in for a hug, to try and steal a bit of comfort that she didn’t quite know she was welcomed to anymore. “I’m glad you’re here.” Awkwardly she positioned herself between him and the table, her arms resting loosely around her midsection instead of reaching for him. She didn’t think she’d get this far and definitely didn’t know how to proceed.
@silver-blooded-synthetics