Hi. I'll be turning 18 this month and I'm heteroromantic but asexual and sex-repulsed. I hate sticking all these complicated labels on myself but after thorough research I think it may be true. Ive been with my boyfriend for about 7 months now (cont)
(Cont) And I am absolutely in love with him, no doubt about it. The problem is I know he has a regular sex drive for a teenage boy and I have zero desire for anything beyond kissing even though I am attracted to him. When I came out to him he (cont)
(Cont) was sweet and understanding and after a long conversation about it said it's completely okay and that I dont have to do anything I don't want to. Just tonight I saw he was looking at porn and I just feel so hurt but also selfish and (cont)
(Cont) guilty because there isnt anything wrong with looking at porn but I just feel lied to and betrayed because to compensate for a lack of sex from me he turns to pictures of strangers. I have no idea what to do. I messaged him but he isn't (cont)
(Cont) awake yet. I just need some advice from someone I can actually relate to. I feel like such a prude and a terrible girlfriend for feeling so hurt by it. I'm at a loss here and I'm not sure what to do. Thank you, sorry for the long message.
Aw I'm glad to hear that your boyfriend is so understanding about your asexuality. :)
While I can see where you're coming from, there's nothing unusual about looking at porn/reading erotica/masturbating etc while in a relationship. But you're hurt- and that's an absolutely valid feeling. I'd suggest talking to your boyfriend about it- you sent him a message, which is a good step. Let him know how you feel so that the two of you are on the same page. Because we can give you all the advice in the world, but this is an issue between the two of you. And talking about it together is the way to work it out~ <3
-Becca/Southpaw
