#ocelotdude problems

[ocelotdude]

so it just kinda hit me.

i've become a hermit. i have no social life, no friends. all i have is the work, work, work, to save money to possibly finance a future. but at the moment, i just realized how lonely i really am. and i can't stop the tears. do i like it? no. do i deserve it? probably. i'm on a different schedule than everyone so i just have to suck it up. i've been alone for such a long time, so why stop now? there's no reason to bother. i'm not worth it.

[ocelotdude]

sometimes i'm in a designing mood.

other times i'm in a sewing mood.

and still other times i'm in a i-don't-feel-like-getting-out-of-bed mood.

such is life.

[ocelotdude]

noooooo gen don't blather randomly to peeps just because of tasty beer, you're being rude. go to bed. you butt.

[ocelotdude]

i currently reside in a land of meat.

first, it was grilled chicken.

then, it was bbq pork ribs.

now, it's escalated to a whole roast turkey. i have no idea how it's going to fit into the fridge.

[ocelotdude]

i may fall in and out of fandoms, but there are certain things that i love.

at the moment, one of them is Top Gear U.K.

because silly old British guys in fast crazy cars is fantastic.

[ocelotdude]

been thinking about cosplay lately, specifically mine. here's some changes:

Paula's getting retired. her wig is too much to handle and i'm thinking of turning her "new" one into Polnareff.

Hanna is getting retired because his wig is too small for my head.

I'm thinking about selling cosplay parts and stuff but i'm not sure where to sell them from.

I'm not sure i can cosplay Connie anymore because every time i buzz my hair off mom almost disowns me. and i like my mom. i also tend to fall out of fandoms as the audience gets bigger. idk, i like having my own little group of friends who geek out at what i like.

also, i'll be bringing back Phoenix Wright once i trim his wig.

other than that, i've got four Jojo costumes to work on until next spring, and i've got a samurai that needs fixing.

[ocelotdude]

feeling like junk. wondering if i'm as cool as people think, or if i'm just trying too hard and ending up not being able to go my own way. tired and sore. feeling like i'm better off alone even though i know i need people there sometimes. even though most times no one is there for me. feeling alone.

[ocelotdude]

Geek Kon Cosplay Schedule

Friday- Morgiana (Magi)

Saturday- Connie (Attack on Titan)

Sunday- Hanna (Hanna is Not a Boy's Name)

here's hoping i get these finished/fixed up along with finishing my pillow inventory!