So binge read odnlb and
First of all how dare you make me more invested in your Kagami and Felix dynamic than any other ship??? How could you do this to me?? I have been ruined as a shipper. RUINED. I will never, ever be able to get over your Felix and Kagami in this fic and how wonderfully they interact with all their bluffs and pride and calculations and CONSTRAINED FEELINNNGSS I - this is it for me. I’m done. I’m gone.
You wanna know how I’ve been ruined?? You wanna k n o w ? I will never be able to ship either of them with anyone else now. It feels wrong. It feels like a betrayal after seeing how HEART ACHINGLY BEAUTIFULLY they could click and the amazing angst they could work and
And you know this really small thing which hurt me so much is that whole thing you pulled where she has never had trouble differentiating the two because FELIX HAS A HARDNESS AND SHARPNESS THAT MAKES HIM HIS OWN PERSON like not because she recognised Adrien easily! oh no! twas not her ex she recognised easily, no no noooooo, it was because she recognised FELIX easily, FELIX, like it’s almost as if her own hard edges recognise the soulmate in his sharp edges okay that brOKE ME IN TWO like why why whyyyy would you do this to my innocent shipper heart, how could you make me more invested in Kagami and Felix than the actual lovesqUARE?!
Like but at the same time I shouldn’t blame you because I love both characters a lot individually -I love their complexities, how Kagami is Good with a little ruthless in her and Felix is Ruthless with a little good in him- I just never opened my eyes to how well their opposite symmetry two sides of the same coin mirror opposite chess masters dynamic works as a ship until you wrOTE MY SHIPPER’S RUINATION LIKE DAMN HOW CAN I COME BACK FROM THIS?!
I mean yes of course I still care about Marinette and Adrien but I know I’ll enjoy them in this fic and on top of that they’ll always have canon and other fics too, whereas I will never be able to enjoy your Kagami and Felix outside your writing because the ml writers don’t have half the brilliant characterisation or good taste in ships and other fanfic writers just cannot pull this dynamic off okay, like
Like I genuinely don’t think anybody else can pull off this characterisation of how Kagami and Felix are in a way two sides of the same coin - they are both fully on the side of (their own idea of) Justice and they will be a little cruel if they need to be to do so, but at the same time they are both so dedicated to protecting the people they love - and this is the most interesting bit because I feel like what you’re implying is that if it’s for the people they love then Felix and Kagami actually both have the potential to become a bit of a hypocrite against their values (I mean Felix I think it’s almost outright confirmed he has/does this rn with him working for Monarque but I’m intrigued how far he will go), like not compromising on the bottom line, I think neither of them will ever compromise on what they think is Absolute Injustice, but they may compromise enough to bend their morals just a bit, so long as they don’t Cross That Line (for Kagami I wonder if she will ever even get near that line while for Felix I wonder if he’d be willing to move the line signpost by an inch or two)
While we are on the subject how dare you imply Felix has kept her at an arm’s length this whole time because he’s insecure about being a senti and now you’re going to have her take his ring, and he won’t just be hurt or betrayed (as you’ve hinted he kinda already expects the betrayal bc he knows where Kagami’s values stand) he will be humiliated just like Adrien neevr wanted LB to look at him like that (and LB doesn’t even KNOW-know), for Felix to have his deepest darkest secret blasted on full volume to the ONE PERSON he never wanted to find out, and for her look at him as if he was LESS of a human even if it was just for a moment, even if it is just in that second of the initial shock - I- I need a minute
No I’m genuinely tortured by this, I keep thinking of all the potentials of how that scene would go like just imagining- like how do amoks work? does Kagami realise whose amok it is the minute she touches it? I feel like Luka’s suspicion of her mean her betraying LB on a small-medium degree is inevitable, so this could be her moral bending point, her freaking out and deciding to keep Felix’s secret and taking a ring lookalike to LB instead which isn’t an amok and is just waved off as a sentimental ring of his mother’s.
(even better if Felix doesn’t know know that She Knows and continues with his farce none the wiser so Kagami has the time to adjust to the revelation and my boy is spared some PAIN)
And Kagami can rationalise it against her sense of justice because forcing someone to divulge information against their will is just evil, really, and she can’t let LB do that as she knows she inevitably will and it doesn’t hurt their cause for her not to know Felix is a senti so why not keep that on the downlow? Though I imagine it must absolutely backfire/blow up in her face later
(Also Luka would have no right to judge Kagami for keeping secrets to protect the ones she loves considering but I feel like he still totally would 😂 that would be funny if he called her out later and someone was like Uhhh pot meet kettle?)
BUT THEN there is the alternative where you don’t figure out whose amok it is when you touch it and I’m like does Kagami hand the ring to LB first without realising first and they all find out only when LB commands “Adrien” to come to their location?
Ngl part of me wants to see Kagami wounded by her own betrayal - like her being shocked and appalled when Felix is forced to show up instead of Adrien as they expected, seeing the humiliation and betrayal on his face, and LB obviously doesn’t care bc Felix isn’t Adrien, LB doesn’t think there’s any good in him, so she’s not gonna show mercy because this is her CHANCE to find out the truth, everything about their identities and hideout has all just fallen into her lap, she’s totally ready to force Felix to bend to her will and interrogate the pants off him, and HONESTLY I would metaphorically DIE if at that point Kagami just snaps ‘no’.
Like silk over steel low-key feral protective Kagami saying no you are not about to take away his free will I don’t care if it’s for the greater good or not, no okay, N - O, squaring off against feral vengeful LB who may just lose it and actually Hurt Her because she is so close, SO CLOSE, to finding out the name of the man she has to murder for her kitty and the girl she thought was her ally just cares about her villainous boyfriend. bug vs dragon almost fight over peacock’s ring? 😬
Lol also it would be funny if we had indignant Luka in the background like I TOLD U NOT TO TRUST HER (pot, kettle) and I can just imagine Felix dryly saying to Kagami ‘it’s a bit rich of you to try and stop her now when you’re the one who gave the ring to her in the first place’ (I’m so convinced sarcasm would be his coping mechanism 😭)
Like see this is the interesting thing about Felix and Kagami that we don’t have with the lovesquare, it’s seeing how they interact within the context of their clashing morals, bc LB and CN are usually morally aligned in that they agree on what is Right, but Kagami and Felix aren’t like that, they Really Do Not Agree on what’s Right so it’s interesting if/how far one or both will compromise for the other, and how that will affect their relationship with each other and others
But like I don’t even know if either of the two scenarios above are even close to the mark bc there are clearly so many layers to each of their characterisations and idk if I’m even interpreting half of it right, like but the beautiful thing us I could be totally wrong and still love them because you can tell you’ve put so much thought into their interactions and motivations
and I’m so sad about this like I’m so in love with a ship that’s doomed to exist only in this fic, do you know how tragic it is to be addicted to a drug with only ONE supplier for a limited period of time???? I guess I can kinda think of it as like shipping a movie ship but I still cannot get over this personal tragedy okay don’t judge me
To sum up I am more invested in this fic’s feligami than s5’s lovesquare at this point and honestly I feel victimised ;-;
YESSSS I GOT ANOTHER ONE!!! beloved anon, welcome to the feligami circus <3
the idea of feligami was born when i saw this in s4 "Gabriel Agreste." me and my sister thought it was hilarious how they glared at each other once, then ignored each other the rest of the time. idk if i've said this, but it's actually at my sister's request (plus my own wish fulfillment) i wrote feligami into one does not love breathing. (i tried to put them into my other fic What Makes a Monster last year, but had no room D: )
you really said what i love about my felix and kagami best. i'm just. in AWE. not only do you understand how i have them diametrically opposed as players in monarque & ladybug's game, but you also understand how they function as characters!! i don't even think i could have stated it better, really, which is why i was grinning like an idiot while reading your ask.
taking what you said about "it’s almost as if [kagami's] own hard edges recognise the soulmate in his sharp edges" & "FELIX HAS A HARDNESS AND SHARPNESS THAT MAKES HIM HIS OWN PERSON like not because she recognised Adrien easily!" -- THIS WAS IMPORTANT I'M RLY GLAD IT GOT TO YOU! something felix uses to his advantage is his identical appearance to adrien. take that away from him with kagami, and what does he really have left? this "levels the playing field" between them, so to say, and i think that was what initially drew him to kagami. that she could tell felix was felix not by recognizing adrien, but by seeing him for who he really is <3
"Kagami is Good with a little ruthless in her and Felix is Ruthless with a little good in him" <- aaahh this GOT me, anon! and it's why i ship them & made them main side characters in the fic. by placing them on opposing sides yet weaving their storylines together, we get to see them bring out their true selves in each other. felix needs that; he's always being sneaky/has a trick up his sleeve, while kagami is blunt and direct and doesn't put up with bs. the more involved they get with one another, the more we see them bringing out those opposing qualities in each other; felix coming clean, and kagami sneaking around as a double agent. makes me think of this line of analysis: "I think neither of them will ever compromise on what they think is Absolute Injustice, but they may compromise enough to bend their morals just a bit, so long as they don’t Cross That Line." YES ABSOLUTELY!!!! aaahahah it's SO fun to write anon!! i'm glad you enjoy it as much as i do heheheheh.
i do dare imply. i dare all the implications. you guys are getting pretty good at guessing what my plans are, i must say. i've even taken some of your theories/guesses/hypotheses and pasted them in my notes doc so i can pack more of a punch when the time comes :DD HOWEVER you will never get me to admit to anything! NEVER! but i can promise that it will hurt, yes. i can promise that whatever u think felix and kagami are planning, it will indeed blow up in their faces (rip to your metaphorical death, anon). and i also promise this fic gets softer. i swear. that goes for feligami as well ;))
i'm sorry for your struggles. thank you for loving my feligami as much as i do. we can be in the post odblb feligami desert together (until i write them into another fic, or find another BETTER one).
thank you for this essay anon it made my day <33 there's nothing i like better than reading analyses on my own work before it's even done. and also thank you for binge reading odnlb! i hope you're ok bc most people seem to not be & i'm really getting worried for you guys.