Do you mind if I tell about myself, Hamliet? My mother (that I really love) is a homophobic..She really against all of the things related to LGBT (because she is so strong in her belief)....Since I was little she taught me like that...But since I start in uni, and know a lot more people, my view began to change, especially when I start reading danmei novels and a lot of metas in tumblr....Now I know and want to learn more about LGBT. Do you think, am I wrong, Hamliet? Can I ask your opinion on this? Sorry for the random ask, Hamliet....Thank you so much for your tumblr. I learn a lot from your answers and blog.....
Hi!
Well, first of all, I'll let you know that I was in your shoes about ten years ago. So no, I don't think you're doing anything wrong--I think you're doing something right.
I grew up in a... fundamentalist religious environment which was very anti-LGBT, though I remember also never fully understanding why beyond that "the Bible says so"and obviously all literature should be interpreted literally (it shouldn't be). In college, I met people from different walks of life (not just LGBT+), took a ton of theology courses because I wanted to better understand my faith and to work out what I actually believed, and came to a different understanding, and just all in all realized that there are not neat parameters that make sense of every life and experience. (I mean, the existence of intersex people and, say, something like complete androgen insensitivity syndrome, definitely calls a binary understanding of gender and thus the determination of what even makes for gay/lesbian relationships into question.)
I don't know what your mother's specific beliefs are in terms of religion. I do know that there are LGBT+ people in all religions. I myself am a pretty devout Christian and see no inherent conflict between faith in Jesus and whom you love; on the contrary, more like a fulfillment of the way of Christ (based on my exegesis of/understanding of theologians, sin in Christianity seems to pretty clearly be something that hurts--like most 'sins' can clearly be seen as adversely affecting someone, whereas a loving relationship between mutually consenting people regardless of gender simply doesn't... do that). I also know many LGBT+ and ally Muslims, Jews, etc, so I am sure there are texts out there for those if that helps you!
I think you seem to be quite empathetic (reading is itself an inherent exercise in empathy). I'd encourage you to keep applying that empathy to everything in life and to everyone as much as you can. Understand that you don't want to judge people, and that you love people, and love should bind the world together. Love fulfills any law. For me it's not just "I guess the Bible doesn't say that," it's "God is love" and the kind of love many of my gay, bi, lesbian friends have for each other is beautiful.
Lastly, your mother clearly loves you and you love her. You are not betraying her by forming your own opinions, and you don't have to hate her. Empathy can apply to her as well--she likely means well, and has been taught thus herself. For my upbringing, I understand a lot of those people meant well and were operating out of fear of their own (the idea that their lives were out of control, strict rules give control, etc.) But I also think perfect love casts out fear (hey that's a Bible verse) and that you can love and respect your mother while recognizing that she's a full human being too, flawed and with experiences and fears and strengths and in some places wisdom. I've taken a quiet approach with my mother, offering my thoughts when she brings it up. I do know that she eventually voted *for* trans rights a few years ago, which she never would have done years earlier (and was initially very opposed to). So, people are all works in progress, and imperfect. But love/empathy is a good guide.
