#officebanter

[istyles]

Me: Boss, why do you hire only men? Boss: Because they’re used to taking orders and getting yelled at.

Featuring Shark Mouth DJI Avata 2 Skin

[cnsnape]

Think my boss will go for this? Me neither! #officebanter #officehumor (at Southport) https://www.instagram.com/p/CULTxmBoPyH/?utm_medium=tumblr

[saveourskinship]

Draco: Potter, Potter, Potter.

Harry: Good God, what? Also, shut up.

Draco: Do you know what our boss just told me?

Harry: [sighs] Malfoy, I've told you a million times, Hermione is *not* our boss. She just acts like it.

Draco: Well, yes, but let a man have his delusions, it makes my fruitless flirting at least 30% more pathetic, which I think she's really into.

Harry: She's not. And gross. And did I mention shut up?

Draco: Thank you for asking what she said-

Harry: -I didn't.

Draco: She told me she thinks I am, and I quote, 'a real MVP'.

Harry: [laughs] I don't think that means what you think it means, Malfoy.

Draco: Just because it's a Muggle thing doesn't mean I don't know it. It's a sports thing, 'Most Valuable Player' right?

Harry: God, I hate how smug you look right now.

Draco: You should.

Harry: [slyly] Do you think Hermione would *ever* use a sports term?

Draco: ...

Draco: What could it mean then?

Harry: [scowls] It means I'm going to hate you even more.

Draco: Is that possible?

Harry: I honestly didn't think so, but here we are.

Draco: PotterPotterPotterPotterPot-

Harry: Shut up and I'll tell you okay?

Draco: [conspicuous silence]

Harry: The way Hermione means it... MVP stands for 'minimum viable product'.

Draco: ...

Draco: What does THAT mean?

Harry: [takes a far too long sigh]

Harry: It means your flirting has changed from fruitless to fruitful. In a 'scraping the bottom of the barrel' kind of way.

Draco: So... when she said to come over to yours tonight, it's not for a case?

Harry: Not a case.

Draco: ...

Harry: Malfoy. Malfoy! Are you breathing?

Draco: ---

Harry: Oh God, you aren't, are you?

Draco: !!!

Harry: [poking head out the door]

Harry: Mione! Congratulations! You killed Malfoy!

[cnsnape]

The struggle is real 🤣🤣 #workhumor #officebanter #officehumor #smileorcry (at Southport) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTfO6xFomku/?utm_medium=tumblr

[cnsnape]

This is definitely our office, sorry I meant definitely not. Honestly 🤭🤭 #officehumor #officebanter (at Southport) https://www.instagram.com/p/CS7wWXoIZb6/?utm_medium=tumblr

[lovelayladesigns]

WE HAVE NEW COLLEAGUE CAPTION CARDS!! Ross, our own Tea Bitch models them well... #lovelayla #colleagues #office #officebanter #work #teabitch https://www.instagram.com/p/BrXY8frFW-s/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=tpxwt7p6z5u0

[cay-moore]

Mawnin’ - so what’s wrong with me taking a bottle of pickled peppers back from my holidays as the “office souvenier”? Well, apart from the fact that only two of us on the plantation will be able to eat it - di peppe hot 🤣🤣🤣. Seriously though - Do you know the palava to obtain and bring these foodstuffs into the UK??? Anyhow - I de put some balsamic vinega in di mixture so it will go nice on di fish 🐟 n chips 🍟 dat is their Friday lunch fave 😉 I will see how it goes down tomorrow. #holidaydone #alternativesouveniers #officebanter #justabitoffun https://www.instagram.com/p/BqwtEDNAIIO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=qmy3y85vzamh

[misterjcampbell]

Savage Lecturer Diaries

Coworker: So now students have the cleaning ladies deliver their assignments? Me: Since when? Coworker: Since today, when my all star flunky decided not to show up for class, had someone who takes out the trash deliver his garbage, which will receive zero because it was late. Me: Thats a new way of handing in assignments, while pretending to be sick, sometimes their friends hand it in for them