Apr 12, 2023
Happy Tears
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Happy Tears
#OffTheDerech
I think we all need to stop for a second and appreciate how incredibly exhilarating it is to leave a high-demand religion. Not to romanticize the experience-- I know first-hand how much fear, pain, loss, and exhaustion it entails-- but there comes a point when you emerge from the woods, stumbling past the treeline, and find yourself looking up in awe at the bright, blazing sun.
Have you ever felt this warmth before? Or been surrounded by so much open space?
Socializing with non-apostates is odd. Like they're just chilling and meanwhile your internal monologue is like
I need to tell you immediately it'll never come up please ask more questions it doesn't matter you think I'm a freak you don't even care I need you to understand it's impossible to explain I was raised in a cult I'm literally so normal.
I love you apostates I love you sinners I love you "lost lambs" I love you everyone who is forging their own path instead of the one "God" had planned for them.
ATTENTION EVERYONE!! SPRING IS APPROACHING! ARE YOU READY TO DO YOUR PART BY DRESSING IN A MANNER THAT IS BOTH SCANDALOUS AND SINFUL??!!
I know I've said it before but honestly. Such an important and beautiful part of the ex-religious/apostate/whichever term you prefer is the unbridled joy and overwhelming gratitude of shedding the weight of the rules you've learned to live with.
What lightness!
It changes your life so radically. Like, the college I'm hoping to go to wouldn't even have been an option if I still had to worry about finding kosher food and shabbos meals. But now? The only person who matters in this decision is myself, and I will choose what's best for me.
But that's just the fancy stuff! Every day I enjoy the little delights of freedom.
I don't feel guilty about not spending 45 minutes every day praying! I don't dread fasts! I can dance in public! I can attend events on Saturday! I wear clothes that make me feel comfortable! I can cut my fingernails in any damn order I please!
What joy! What beauty! My gratitude towards God has been replaced with gratitude towards myself for having the courage to break free, and everyone who helped me along the way! Huzzah!!
Let me know what you're grateful for!!!
:')