Sep 18, 2019
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Testing a n00bs knowledge of Homestuck:
Me: Name me the 12 trolls!
Star: Uh... there's Karkat- he's the one with the 69 symbol sideways, which seems to have sex with everyone???
Me: LSKDJFLKADSHFLKASDJ
Star: Uh, then there's Gamzee, and he's the crazy clown who creeps you out. Eridan is the fish hipster (LIVALI?!) who has a scarf and purple hair. There's Aradia, who I really know nothing about- she's the one with the goat horns, right?
Me: Yup.
Star: Then there's Nepeta, who's the cat girl with the trench coat, and Equius is the douchebag with sunglasses. There's Vriska which is the one you named your Pokemon after.
Me: Legit.
Star: There's the fashion designer, the one with the red skirt.
Me: (heehehehe)
Star: Oh, Sollux, the one who's Gemini and I like him 'cause he's my troll.
Me: PATRON TROLLS :D
Star: Uh... Balls.
Me: Uh... nope.
Star: Oh- Feferi! She's the one you want to cosplay
Me: DAMN STRAIGHT.
-insert long pause here-
Star: OH WAIT! TAVROS! He's the guy in the wheel chair who can't fit through doors! :D
Me: PFT.
Star: OH GOD ONE MORE. I GOT THIS. I GOT THIS!!! Oh man, what sign is it!!!
Me: Kind of an important one...
Star: ALKHG. BLAH. FFF. ARRRGH. Pacing is not helping... DKAJLSDKHFASLD GIVE ME HINT.
Me: "T"
Star: BLAH. I'm going to give up, and you're going to tell me, and I'm going to find something to face-palm against.
Me: You can face-palm against this wood panel?
Star: Ok.... It's a girl, and- TEREZI!!!! OH MAN! YES.
Me: Congratulations, you haven't read any of it, but tumblr has told you all of their names. Good job. NOW READ THE DAMN THING.
Star: NO.
Me: *wood panel face* Wait- You missed one! You never named the one with the red skirt!
Star: OH BUTTS. What does it start with?!
Me: "K"
Star: Lalsdkjf. BLAH. ALSDKHFAKSDL. I got nothing here, this is really sad.
Me: READ THE WEBCOMIC AND YOU WILL KNOW.
Star: NEHNEHNEH IT'S TOO LONG THOUGH @_@
Me: >:|
Star: AH. AHHHH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.
Me: ... Want this? *passes wood panel*
In conclusion, Starlia guessed Kanaya (like 10 minutes later) and still won't continue.
All of my cries.