#oh trip

[whatdoklingonsdreamabout]

“This baby’s gonna fit like a glove.”

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

Terrence “Trip” Dipp: A yap by yours truly

After he went back to school, a small part of Trip started to hate Brill. He hated him because why was Brill so perfect? Why did he have it all? He had a future planned out with the girl he loved. He had amazing grades and was basically top of their class. And on top of all of that, he still fucking took care of people. And a tiny, tiny part of Trip hated him for it. Because why didn’t seem so easy for him? Why did he seem so effortless? Why could he do it all when Trip couldn’t even seem to hold himself together without at least two drinks. But what was he supposed to do? Tell Brill about it? Tell Chet? He was alone. He didn’t talk about his feelings. He was Terrence fucking Dipp, he didn’t talk about how he felt. Because talking about that made you vulnerable. And the last person he was vulnerable with was Marcia and they all knew how that ended. And he couldn’t cry about it because his dad had been drilling it into his head since he was four years old. Boys didn’t cry. So what the hell was he supposed to do? He would yell and fight, just like he’d always done. Because it was a release.

He’d come home after a particularly rough fight alone one night. It had been storming and he didn’t notice that the kid he picked to jump had a couple buddies with him. So, what should’ve been an easy beating ended with Trip having a couple nasty gashes, a black eye, a busted lip, and a bruised ego. When he pushed open the door he was soaked and bloody. Melvin was still up because of course he wouldn’t go to sleep. Of course he cared about his older brother too much to sleep knowing he was out doing something stupid. And of course Melvin HAD to ask what was wrong with him. Trip had just told him to “shut the fuck up and go to sleep” while he dragged himself to the bathroom. He’d peeled off his wet shirt and then he was met with the view of purple blossoming on his stomach. Shit. Of course he’d managed to go and get a few ribs messed up. At least it explained why breathing hurt. It’s fine, he’d deal with that later. Right now he needed to get all this blood off him. Dried blood that was mix of his and the three greasers he was fighting. One hot shower later, and he just felt pain. But hey, at least the tears he may or may not have let slip out in the shower were undetectable. Unfortunately, with the alcohol less prominent in his system, he felt everything a whole lot more.

Eventually, he’d opened the door to go grab some bandages and a needle to stitch up some of the bigger cuts and he was met with the sight of Melvin sitting next to the door. Why the hell was he still awake? And why was he sitting outside the bathroom door? If he needed one they had about 4 others he could’ve used. And of course Melvin had to look up at him and ask if he was ok. What was Trip supposed to say? With his bruised ribs and all his cuts on full display, it’s not like Melvin would believe him if he said yes. So he’d snapped at Melvin that he was “fucking fine and go away”. Then Melvin, emotional and young Melvin, had stood up and stubbornly shook his head. So Trip just let out an exhausted sigh, not having the patience to deal with Melvin right now. Because fine, if Melvin didn’t want to sleep that wasn’t Trip’s problem. He could be tired all he wanted in the morning. It didn’t occur to Trip that Melvin was worried for him until Melvin had gotten up followed Trip back into the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tub. Now, Trip was really losing the little grace he’d given Melvin. So he’d told him to “get the fuck out” because he “wasn’t interested in whatever the hell had Melvin up”. Then, just like he did when he was nine years old and Trip had come home his first fight, Melvin had wordlessly held out his hand to give Trip pain meds. Trip had shot him an irritated look as he took the pills from his younger brother. Then Trip’s head filled with thoughts he’d normally push out. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he just thank his brother? Why did he hold so much anger? Was he even capable of love and appreciation? Or was something so wrong with him that he would never be able to? Those thoughts combined with his throbbing, purple core and his reeling headache hurt too much. So he did something he’d never do normally. He stepped closer to his brother and he pulled Melvin into a rough and awkward hug. Melvin had frozen on the spot when it happened. Because what had managed to fuck up his brother so much that he was being this affectionate? Why was he hugging him then ruffling his hair? Then sending him off to bed? Melvin couldn’t understand what had brought this on, but he wasn’t complaining. He went off to bed silently, a huge smile breaking out into his face when he retreated into his room.

Trip also wasn’t quite sure what brought it on. But he knew he needed to hug his brother. He didn’t know why, he just knew he did. And then he’d done it. It was the first time he’d hugged Melvin in years, and it felt good. It was comforting and grounding. But now Melvin was in bed and he still needed to stitch up his arm and wrap his ribs. So he sucked in a harsh breath and began threading the needle through his skin. It hurt like hell, but he knew he had to do it. However, wrapping his ribs was a whole other beast. He needed to make sure the bandage was tight enough to hold them in place with slight pressure, but not so tight that it caused more damage. It took him over 30 minutes to finally get it right, and by that point he was in excruciating pain and was beyond exhausted. So he stumbled through the dark and collapsed onto his bed. That night, he went in and out of a restless sleep. He’d known what he did was stupid, but he also knew that he wasn’t going to change, but next time, he’d bring a second guy.

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

Reading this in my notes app is so funny bc Trip doesn’t cope. Sure he releases through anger and aggression and drinking. But he also just lets it build up. Coping is successfully dealing with a problem. He doesn’t successfully deal with anything 😭😭

[marmolita]

Enterprise s4e10

Wow okay I was actually really into that episode despite all its flaws.  No okay mostly I was into Trip questioning Archer's orders and Archer accusing him of insubordination, and also Trip getting disillusioned with his childhood hero, and Trip trying to talk to T'Pol and what the fuck even was that.  Their conversation had so little context it's completely unclear what they were even talking about or what just happened.  Did they delete some scenes?  She doesn't think there'll be time for what?  For romance?  For friendship?  For sex?  For movie night?  Did she even tell Trip that Koss let her out of the marriage?  WTF is even going on here?

Non-Trip/T'Pol commentary: this was kind of like a different spin on DS9's "The Visitor."  The actor playing Emory must have been in like a million things, he looked so familiar, and so did the chick playing his daughter.  I will have to poke IMDB later.  The clearest problem with this whole thing was after the first crewman died, why the hell did they go actually looking for the thing?  Obviously it's going to kill you so stay the fuck away.  Also, the ridiculous use of the CSI-style "enhance" to magically make an image show you something useful even though it doesn't contain enough data to do that (someone teach the writers about information storage, compression, and lossy filters please).

Still, I enjoyed that, and I really, really, really enjoyed Trip and Archer arguing.