#ohboyitsbomk

[ask-teamplayer]

vera do you think your friends are kinda updog?

FATE: No!

FATE: You are not going to other Vera by forcing her into embarrassing shitty little jokes she wont get! Do you not see the issue with that? She does it to herself enough already!

FATE: She doesn't have to be sheltered, but I'd rather not make her feel stupid either!

VERA: No now Im curious

VERA: Is this some kind of rare and elusive allistic specific information I am not privy to

FATE: No, because I'm pretty sure I'm not allistic. Or at least not neurotypical. Nothing I'm diagnosed with like you.

FATE: You're just unaware because nobody's done the joke on you yet.

FATE: So, to explain, the updog joke is-

NAHLA: UP DEEZ NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FATE: ...

VERA: ...

NAHLA: ...Wow, that joke fucking sucked.

[ask-teamplayer]

so what kinds of pokemon frequent your school, is it just eevee and subsequent evolutions or are there other species i dont go here i wouldnt know

RONIN: other... pokemon?

CORA: I'm quite sure the myth of the Sawsbuck doesn't exist. Or of Raichu, or the Gardevoir, or any of the other creatures in assorted folklore.

CORA: It's interesting conceptually, though. I see animals anthropomorphized similarly in fiction. How would it be, do you think, if Wooloo could stand up and walk around and fret about grades like we do?

CORA: That's something asked in quite a lot of stories and it has been for thousands of years, though I'm not sure you need me to tell you that.

RONIN: oh, ok.

RONIN: yeah i know about the myths in especially european stuff about fae, dragons, other psychic types, etcetera. i know theres been a lot of shit lately making them live amongst eevees, especially cartoons and whatever.

RONIN: its a popular trend.

[ask-teamplayer]

does lily watch true crime podcasts

LILY: hee hee!

VERA: Cease those hee hees at once

LILY: hee hee hee!

LILY: hoo hoo.

[ask-teamplayer]

fate, is there any reason as to why your friends are now all the individual eeveelutions w no repeats or missing ones whatsoever?

FATE: You misunderstand; probability always skews against my favor. This is definitely the universe's way with fucking with me and making my life worse. Enzo walking into it was only pouring salt all over the knife and twisting it in the large already inflicted stab wound that'd been cut into my face! And you always know head wounds bleed the most! Do you feel that? That's the sound of my blood pouring all steamy down your neck and chest! Which is only the third most sexual bodily fluid to be a'pourin', so you better drink the fuck up, asshole!

FATE: Oh, poor Fate, poor humble little Fate, yet not humble enough! How the blood gushes, how it pours, a harrowing, forever unfortunate reminder of his afflictions. A small, victorian boy torn apart by the dogs by incongruity, forever bedeviled by the curses he was named from! And yet how the birds of fate sing, oh how they sing, oh how their beautiful beaks shift to biting ravenous maws to raze flesh, tear every piece of my sanity adrift across spacetime- because the world, oh how it hates, how it hates poor victorian child Fate, how it must bear down upon me like I am Atlas, ground into a fine powder by it's hardest battles, used as warpaint by the proceeding suffering children who must bear my hot, steamy load. The curses I must bear, the probabilities forever stacked against my favor!

FATE: I don't know if you've noticed, but I can't evolve.

[memebots-holehell]

boo

EXPLODES COMBUSTS DIES DEMATERIALIZES UNIONIZES I AM SCATTERED INTO A GAZILLION PIECES ACROSS THE EARTH I HAVE BEEN ERADICATED I HAVE BEEN ERASED FROM HISTORY MY BODY IS NO MORE

[ask-teamplayer]

damn, wade, what fucked You up, did someone put your head into a paper shredder or smn?

WADE: If this is about the origin of my scars, don't be presumptuous. Many of these were self-inflicted due to childhood stupidity, sports, the likes. Fell down a couple of stairs. Banged my face into some doors. Got into fights I barely won.

WADE: It happens all the time. Still does. I'm a bit of a klutz.

WADE: Boys will be boys, after all.

[ask-teamplayer]

lily do you think if you had to kill someone you'd do it without getting caught, just from all your fanfic knowledge

LILY: oh! no, definitely not, i was just being funny.

LILY: i might enjoy stuff like that for fanfiction reasons, but id never actually go too far! i dont wanna kill anyone! unless its for a fic where it makes my readers get mad and start strangling me through the screen.

LILY: thats whats fun about fanfiction! not only can i make my fave yaoi boys kiss, but i can also kill one of them off to emotionally damage my viewerbase! without actually having to kill anyone real!!! id hate to do that.

LILY: i like writing about bad boys and serial killers and stuff. nothing i like irl, but its fun to explore.

[ask-teamplayer]

is anyone in the group able to drive?

CORA: You sure are asking about many things pertaining to Ronin! I'm sure you may have gotten this impression, but he is taking a break from the ask blog at the moment.

CORA: It may be difficult to tell, but when it comes to these matters he can be very... moody. He's got quite the stormy attitude, that's for sure.

CORA: I'm being awfully vague, aren't I? I will respond to your question in his absence.

CORA: Ronin owns a van- he does freelance coding work as a job, and is the one in charge of driving us around to places. He's certainly the most independent in the group.

CORA: He actually drives Lily home from school. It's an arrangement I've noticed they've picked up. It's quite cute! You'd never expect them to get together so seamlessly, with how different they are. It's certainly made quite a positive impact on him.