Goodbye Tumblr
Hey everyone, it's been awhile since I added anything over here. My life has changed significantly over the past couple years which in turn caused my posting style to change into what you see recently. Just posts of stuff and junk I've picked up. I wanted this place to be a diary on my travels. And it was for the first 3-4 years. When I came back to California it wasn't supposed to be a long term thing. Then Kairi's epilepsy got worse and we realized there was no way to move her safely overseas. Sara and I ended up getting jobs over here in California while we were figuring things out. Meanwhile I put school on hold, only taking classes to retain credits. During the transition we both ended up with either incredibly well paying jobs or jobs we loved. And sometimes those things just fluctuated from time to time with the same job (for instance I might be quitting my job soon due to burnout - the money is decent though...). But I'm getting off track now...
This blog has meant so much to me. Two years ago I tried to get back into the swing of things and then a month later Tumblr made some sweeping changes that took the wind out of my sails. It halted a lot of projects I had in mind and definitely was the reason I fell silent for so long. This was coupled with other things that were changing at the time and I just couldn't but also really didn't want to make the time to post here anymore. Camera troubles came, a major car accident, and Kairi's epilepsy getting worse did not help me in my desire to want to write and edit photos for my journal postings. So those were put off once again on top of everyone I used to know having bailed after the Tumblr fiasco of December 2018.But I loved this blog and the people I met on here so much so I pretended that keeping this place afloat with brain dead posts was the right move.
As of four months ago, after being in limbo with moving for so, so, so long we have finally settled into our new place. We probably won’t be here long, but I got back into the swing of things in the mean time. I got a new camera, started photographing toys and video games again which I have been posting on instagram under the same banner. Kairi has not had a seizure in over a year! We just had that realization this month as we have to go back to the doctors to renew her prescription. I am back to health, and only feel my ribs hurt when I sneeze. It’s a reminder that a seat belt was the only thing that prevented my face from going into a metal dashboard that day. All of these things coming together has made me realize a few things. First and foremost the only thing I dread now is going to my job. Now that I can pick out with clarity everything that makes me happy I’m well aware the only thing that hurts me is my job. I am just burnt out with education. And this is my dream job! Or was my dream job. So I might take some time off at the end of this school year. I might try and stretch it out for another school year but I will decide that when summer starts to come around.
Unfortunately even when I do have more time, you won’t find me here anymore. With all the clarity I realized I turned this place into something it wasn’t meant to be. I haven’t been here for awhile. And I’m crying as I write this because I can’t tell you how much this place has meant to me. There are blogs I followed and people I met on here that are responsible for me being here today. I joined this place during the worst time of my life. This was my outlet. And it was the people here that saved me. Some of you are still here. Most of you are long gone. But I never really talked about how depressed I was. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever typed that out right on this blog before. This wasn’t the place to express that. I wanted to celebrate little victories, my hobbies, etc. And I feel like this place lost that spirit since I’ve stopped writing and sharing as much personal stuff. I still got to talk about toys and video games but I feel like my posts lost their humanity and definitely humility. So with a heavy heart...this is going to be my last post on tumblr. Maybe in a few years I’ll start a new blog but I won’t be using this one. This is a time capsule for me now. A person I used to be, made from everyone who helped out a long the way.
If you still want to keep up, follow me @okamidensetsu on instagram. And I am trying to learn how to used Twitter under the same name (I just find it a little overwhelming there)!
Thank you again everyone. I love you, and will continue to check in here and again, but I just wanted to say it one last time here.
Bye for now
-Dean
