A Better Lie - ao3
Fandom: The Untamed Pairing: Jin Guangyao/Nie Mingjue Summary:
Wait. This wasn't the Lan sect, with all its strict rules and stricter morality. This was the Nie. (Meng Yao identifies an opportunity.)
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It was only a better lie, in the end.
A stroke of luck – or perhaps, of genius.
When he first heard Nie Mingjue’s shout, Meng Yao was still holding the sword he'd just used to kill the Nie commander, but he could feel it slipping out of his nerveless fingers. He could feel his mouth opening with instinctive denials - it wasn't me, it was Xue Yang, I didn't do it - all ridiculous, of course. It was him, and he did do it, and Nie Mingjue was staring at him with those horribly hurt eyes, already starting to fill with tears in a way they hadn't despite the strain of having his home attacked and his precious brother demanded as a hostage by the man who’d killed his father.
That hurt.
Not the tears, of course. Tears, Meng Yao knew well, were cheap. But he found himself displeased by what they meant: by the fact that he’d hurt Nie Mingjue, in a way even Wen Ruohan hadn’t, when Nie Mingjue was a man he’d come to…well, to appreciate. Nie Mingjue, who hadn't cared about Meng Yao's past or his mother even after he’d been told about it, who had given him opportunities beyond his wildest expectations, who – it seemed – had left an active battlefield in order to come find him because he was worried about him...
Nie Mingjue was going to have no choice but to find him guilty, Meng Yao knew. No matter what he said or did, that was Nie sect law, and Nie Mingjue believed in his sect’s laws the way he believed in the sun rising every day. He might be able to commute the sentence from execution into exile if Meng Yao did something brave, if for instance he used his body to shield Nie Mingjue from an attack that would no doubt be forthcoming because they were both literally standing there frozen in the middle of battle, but that was it, that was the best Meng Yao would be able to get. And exiling him would hurt Nie Mingjue, too, maybe even more than execution, because Meng Yao knew that Nie Mingjue loved him, even if the other man hadn't figured it out yet, and having to worry about him suffering would hurt Nie Mingjue even more than knowing he was dead.
And all because he'd broken the rules.
Rules. Hah!
Meng Yao thought, briefly, about the Lan sect, that bastion of rules and inflexibility. Of Lan Xichen, who had been so kind to him during the classes Nie Mingjue had sent him to attend. Lan Xichen, who was a good gentleman, handsome and sympathetic. Who would make a reasonable second prospect to target now that Nie Mingjue was no longer an option...
No. What was he thinking? That was the brothel madam's voice in his head, not his own, not his mother, who had tried so hard to make him a gentleman rather than a whore.
Meng Yao didn't want to think like that.
Of course, he didn't want to die, either.
So self-sacrifice and exile it would have to be, even if it hurt them both. Maybe he’d even go after Lan Xichen, too, if that was what it took - if Meng Yao couldn't have the love he really wanted, Nie Mingjue's unquestionable and unconditional affection which had been given to him freely when he had been at his lowest moments, then he might as well put his ambitions above all else. Over love, over morality, over all the stupid hypocritical loophole-riddled rules that nevertheless did not leave a loophole aside for him, because no rule allowed for murdering a man by stabbing him in the back, not even self-defense -
Wait.
This wasn't the Lan sect, with all its strict rules and stricter morality.
This was the Nie.
"Sect Leader, dodge!" Meng Yao roared, louder than he'd ever been in his life, mimicking to his best ability the stern grim-faced training master of the Nie sect who everyone listened to without question.
Nie Mingjue was no exception, obedience to that voice boiled into his bones. He threw himself aside, causing Wen Zhuiliu's sword to miss and come hurtling towards Meng Yao himself. There was a split second where he could decide to just take the blow in some place that wouldn't cause permanent damage, just as there had been a split second for him to pick between throwing his body between Nie Mingjue and the sword instead of shouting him out of the way – a far more dramatic sort of rescue – but just as before, Meng Yao decided against it.
He was taking a far bigger gamble.
Meng Yao threw himself down, flat on his face, and Wen Zhuliu's sword went wide over his head. A moment later, as he'd hoped, Nie Mingjue rose up with Baxia in hand and murder in his eyes. Now that he was no longer being distracted by Meng Yao, he was able to see Wen Zhuliu turning towards him with deadly palm extended.
Meng Yao gritted his teeth and threw the Wen sword he'd picked up at Wen Zhuiliu's feet. It wouldn't get either of them much more than split-second of distraction, at best, but when you were fighting against a man like Nie Mingjue, you couldn't afford even that.
A split second later, saber met with palm, and Wen Zhuliu went flying.
Clutching at his bloodied hand, looking shocked, the other man scuttled away not long thereafter, and with the real leader of the Wen forces humbled - it certainly wasn't Wen Chao they were following, no matter what he might lie to himself and think - the rest of them soon dispersed.
"My brother will not be going to any Wen training camp," Nie Mingjue spat after them, too genteel to follow it up with actual spit the way Meng Yao halfway wanted him to. "Not now, and not ever!"
Behind him, the rest of the Nie burst into spontaneous cheers, bellowing as loud as bulls. Even their guests, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, looked relieved and impressed - Nie Mingjue's fame was going to increase again, it seemed, as soon as they got back to Yunmeng and boasted of how the Nie, at least, certainly did not fear the power of the Wen sect.
"Meng Yao, with me," Nie Mingjue said when he was done with that, which was only as Meng Yao had expected. "Now."
Meng Yao bowed his head and scuttled after him into the receiving hall. Nie Mingjue threw Baxia over to her stand and sat heavily on the Nie sect throne, though not as heavily as he might have if he'd been injured and his sect the loser in the fight just now, burdened by his duty as sect leader and his worries as an older brother.
"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" he asked grimly. Or, well, he thought he was being grim, but Meng Yao could see the fear in his eyes - come up with something clever, Nie Mingjue was quietly begging, even though he would never know that that was what he was doing or admit it to himself if he did, please, please come up with something that means I don't need to kill you for your crimes. Don't taint this day with making me lose you. Don't make me have to lose you...
Meng Yao saluted deeply.
"This humble Meng Yao admits his error," he said, hoping against hope that this gamble of his would work. "I should not have allowed my enthusiasm for a private duel to overcome my understanding of the bigger picture, putting myself over sect interests."
Nie Mingjue was stunned silent for a long moment.
Meng Yao waited, hoping so hard that it hurt.
Please, he thought, now the one to beg silently. Please let him focus on the part that I need him to focus on, not the parts I need him to overlook. Please!
"...private duel?" Nie Mingjue finally said, and Meng Yao’s heart surged with elation. "You were – dueling?"
"Yes, Sect Leader," Meng Yao lied, using every ounce of guile he had to hide his joy behind a mask of contrition. "I formally challenged the commander yesterday in the late evening. He had tried to keep me from seeing to the prisoner Xue Yang at your order, contrary to protocol, and in doing so said something very rude about my mother."
That latter part was true, and of course there had been no one else around at the time. The Nie commander had always been good at making sure there weren't when he delivered his nastiest jibes, although he'd made enough milder ones in front of others that people would testify on Meng Yao's behalf if it came to that.
He didn't think it would come to that. Nie Mingjue wanted to believe him.
"He accepted, but he was drunk at the time, so we agreed to postpone," Meng Yao added, adopting an apologetic tone. "Nevertheless, I admit that I let myself get carried away. A battlefield is no place to carry out private grudges -"
"He turned his back on you despite having accepted a duel with you?!" Nie Mingjue burst out, utterly incredulous, just as Meng Yao had hoped. "What was he thinking?!"
Probably that I was no threat, Meng Yao thought cynically, letting himself whole-heartedly lean into and believe the alternative universe where his lie had been the truth. That was the mark of a truly accomplished liar: the ability to genuinely believe, for however long necessary, that what he said was what it had really been.
"What an idiot! Disrespectful, arrogant -" Nie Mingjue was raging, but he restrained himself after a moment, forcing himself to calm down. "Meng Yao, you're right, you should have known better than to proceed with a private duel while the sect was under attack. That is irresponsible, even if you got carried away by your feelings, and you will need to be punished appropriately. However, in light of your contributions in today's battle, I think we can reduce the number of strikes to - hm -"
"Two-thirds?" Meng Yao suggested, knowing that Nie Mingjue wanted to say half but couldn't quite bring himself to admit to that level of favoritism. That was the first thing Meng Yao had figured out about Nie Mingjue, in fact: he was dreadfully soft in the face of all he loved, but he desperately wanted to be a good man. And a good man, by the ancestral precepts of the Nie, was a harsh one, a just one, one who saw granting unnecessary mercy as weakness. "I can handle it, Sect Leader. It's only what I should do. As you said, Sect Leader, I should have known better. It was only that I got so angry..."
Meng Yao trailed off purposefully.
As expected, Nie Mingjue picked up where he left off. "That's completely understandable," the man from a family and clan known for their uncontrollable rage said, nodding in absolute empathy. "But you must learn to channel your anger into the appropriate time and place. A considerable portion of Nie sect discipline and cultivation relates to that – ah, but you're still at the early stages there, having started as late as you did. Do not worry. Understanding will come in time."
Meng Yao bowed his head to hide his victory.
He had remembered at the very last second that Nie sect principles did allow for manslaughter under certain circumstances, the way the rigid Lan sect rules did not. A proper duel, the challenge formally issued and agreed on by both parties, could be resumed at any time, and death was always a possibility; acting dishonorably wasn't permitted, so sneak attacks virtually never happened, but you were supposed to act as though you were at odds with a true enemy, never letting your guard down. Turning your back on someone you'd accept a duel with was an insult of the highest caliber. It mocked not only your opponent’s competence and ability, but their bravery - it looked down even upon their honor.
A provocation that no one could resist.
Least of all someone starting to train in the Nie sect style, and thereby to have trouble controlling their temper!
If Nie Mingjue believed them to have been dueling, then the scene he'd happened upon looked very different. Temporary enemies united in the fight against the Wen, Meng Yao helping in the fight only to be disarmed, but then once the Wen were dead, matters breaking into strife once more: the Nie commander starting the fight back up, perhaps, saying some sneering words instead of helping Meng Yao up, insulting him, turning his back on him in even more blatant insult, and Meng Yao reaching in his unthinking rage to find the Wen sword at hand -
The Nie sect were notoriously emotional. Meng Yao wasn't, being far more inclined to put ruthless logic above all else, but men always judged others by their own measure. Nie Mingjue would evaluate the situation by putting himself in Meng Yao’s shoes, and under such circumstances, even Nie Mingjue might have been hard pressed to stay his hand (though obviously no one would be foolish enough to do such a thing to him, and he was likely to shout a warning anyway just because of who he was). True, it would never have happened, mostly because he would have also have had enough discipline to keep from killing his enemy in the middle of a battlefield. But he could understand it when someone else didn't manage to hold back to that degree. He could understand.
He could forgive.
And that was what mattered.
Maybe I should cultivate myself a reputation as a hair-trigger duelist, Meng Yao mused. Nie Mingjue would probably find that charming. I’d be like some yappy dog that tries to bite enemies three times the size – embarrassing, perhaps, but it would leave me a lot more leeway to eliminate my enemies.
Yes, I think I will do that. Plenty of the Nie already treat me as halfway to being Nie Mingjue's wife; this incident of forgiving a murder will only increase their respect for me, and a few more of the same, under permitted circumstances, will solidify it. The Nie sect has always respected aggression and violence. Showing more of that will make it easier for me to get my way when I really am half-master of the sect, with Nie Mingjue at my side.
And then, when the war with the Wen begins in earnest, it will be the Nie that will come out ascendant - the Nie which have never bowed, the Nie which have kept the rest of the cultivation world free through their own blood and valor, the Nie who everyone will owe for their lives and for the futures. Lan Xichen is an old friend of Nie Mingjue’s, and that Jiang sect puppy just now, Jiang Cheng, looked halfway in love with him after today's performance. They will happily support Nie Mingjue to be Chief Cultivator when Wen Ruohan is gone.
And Nie Mingjue, who hates paperwork so much, will give it all to me.
Jin Guangshan -
Father -
In the end, you will be the one at the bottom of the stairs, and me at the top. You'll be the one to come begging me, wanting me to take your name, pretending it to be a privilege for me when in truth it will be one for you. You'll be the one groveling and sniffing around for the chance to rub off a little of my honor and status, to add my shine to yours, and the only thing you'll have to trade with is the surname I have always deserved, the one you owed it to my mother to give me. I'll accept it, oh yes, I’ll accept it, because it is mine and always should have been mine. But I’ll accept it at the time that I choose, the place that I choose, the manner that I choose, acting from strength rather than weakness.
You will come to me. Not the other way around.
Yes, that is how it will be.
You and that bitch wife of yours, you who both looked down upon me, who looked down upon my mother who had more value in her little finger than both of you put together: you'll both have to see me bow to her on my wedding day, to see her honored in front of the whole world by a man better than all of you put together.
Meng Yao smiled.
"Thank you, Sect Leader," he said. "I will learn. I promise you."
Nie Mingjue had that transfixed expression that always came on him when Meng Yao used that particular smile, the one he usually kept buried deep inside his heart - the cruel, vicious, hungry one, the one that revealed his longing to dominate and devour everything in his path, cherishing only the selected few. The smile Meng Yao had once thought he would never be able to show anyone at all, least of all someone above him, because it revealed too much about what he was really like, not obedient nor submissive in the slightest.
The smile he had thought would only ever be met with repulsion and disgust, and certainly not looked upon with desire, the way Nie Mingjue did whenever he saw it.
"...you can call me by name in private," Nie Mingjue finally said. He looked half-hypnotized by his own fascination, and only grew more so when Meng Yao dropped the humble act and prowled towards him like the snarling vicious beast that he sometimes felt he was under his skin. "If - if you want."
"I do want," Meng Yao purred. "Thank you for the honor, Sect Leader...no. Nie Mingjue."
Nie Mingjue swallowed hard.
"We should celebrate tonight," Meng Yao said.
"...celebrate?"
"Yes, of course. It’s only fair, isn’t it? The whole Nie sect should have a chance to savor our victory. Your victory."
And mine.
