#olympic profiles

[nohocurling]

Olympic Profiles: Chris Plys

I'm not going to do a jokey profile for him, but instead just point to some interesting things he's up to. I think the things he's up to are actually more interesting than anything I can make up.

Rockin' the red Zissou beanie.

Name: Chris "Follow Me on Twitter" Plys Country: USA Age: 22 Curls out of: Superior Curling Club Teammates: John Shuster, Jason Smith, Jeff Isaacson, John Benton Highlights: 4 time US Junior National Champion, 2008 World Junior Championship Gold Medalist Favorite Condiment: Marinara Sauce Hobbies: Guitar

He's been writing blogs for USA Today, been on TV during Monday Night Football and soon the Colbert Report. He'll also be on E!'s Bank of Hollywood Show, where he is going to make his case to get some Hollywood cash to take his family to the Olympics, including his father who is recovering from brain cancer. Brain CANCER! In addition, he's also a musician. You can check out his tunes on his MySpace page or download them here. I think Jen Lindsay should start a curling record label. Sounds pretty good, bare bones guitar and vocals done up in Garage Band. I can dig. Can't wait for a music video. Also, follow him on Twitter. Lastly, here he is, showing off some moves at the Plainfield Curling Club.

[nohocurling]

Olympic Profiles: Eve Muirhead

With the doldrums that is Thanksgiving week in Hollywood, I figure now is a great opportunity to add another entry to my Olympic Profiles series. This time, I focus on Great Britain's curling wunderkind, Eve Muirhead.

Eve Muirhead shouts instructions to her teammates.

Name: Eve "Mother of The Beltane Feasts" Muirhead Country: Scotland Age: 19 Curls out of: Atholl Curling Rink/Dunkeld Curling Club Teammates: Jackie Lockhart, Kelly Wood, Lorna Vevers and Karen Addison Highlights: She has won each of the last three world women’s junior championships, acting as skip on the last two. Favorite Condiment: Ketchup Hobbies: Bagpipes, Golfing Training regimen: Liquid diet, inversion therapy At only 19 years old, Eve Muirhead is at the top of the women's curling world. She won the Scottish national championship for the first time last season, and was named to the Olympic team just days after her birthday. She has accomplished so much in such a short period of time, much of her history is yet to be written. Officially she's been curling for a decade and is poised to be on top of the curling world for some time to come. Unofficially, her story dates back 500 years to the frozen bogs of Scotland. You see, Ms. Muirhead has been better known as Magdalene Vigée-Lebrun, a vampire. Cursed with immortality, she has passed her time over the centuries honing her skills at the roaring game. With an inability to cross moving water, the frozen lakes and rivers of Scotland were a welcome respite from the dreary woodlands she would inhabit regularly. Little is known about her before her current persona as Eve Muirhead, but it is believed that before she ever was a vampire, she lived a happy childhood in Paisley, Renfrewshire in West central Scotland. Her father was a weaver and invented the Paisley pattern, and her mother was an unknown poet. Though it is credited to the Irish, it was Magdalene's mother than invented the form, which languished for centuries until Magdalene herself introduced it to the Maigue poets of Ireland. Her life was uneventful, living in the shadows of the Paisley Abby until that fateful Summer when she fell in love. It wasn't as simple as a crush on the neighbor boy, she fell in love with a vegetarian vampire and a werewolf at the same time. As the beasts fought for her affection, she found herself more enamored with the tougher, yet more douchey werewolf. The vampire boy was actually a bit of a pussy, and she thought perhaps he might actually have a vagina. However, before she could declare her love the werewolf, the vampire boy took her blood and recruited her to the ranks of the immortals. This did not have the effect that the vampire boy wanted, and she still dumped him. The vampire boy then killed the werewolf douche before taking a stake to his own heart. The murder/suicide caused Magdalene to swear off boys and focus solely on her extra-curricular activities: golf, bagpipes and of course, curling. She has spent the last five centuries moving from town to town, adopting new lives and leaving old ones behind. She has seen the rise of kings and the fall of nations. If she seems poised beyond her years, it is because she has experienced more than any one should. Although she has an aversion to sunlight, it is not debilitating as popular literature would have you believe. While she is also and elite golfer, she has turned down numerous scholarship opportunities in the sunny United States to play the safer, indoor game of curling. Otherwise, all the other trappings of a vampire are true for her. She must be invited into a tournament, in order for her to enter. This has caused her to feverishly practice in order to earn such invites. It would be beneficial for Debbie McCormick and her competing skips to carry some garlic with her during the match, or at least have a chicken tarna wrap from Zankou Chicken. However, since curling is known as the gentleman's game, it is usually frowned upon to employ such tactics. Supernatural abilities are a gray area. As the 2010 Olympics fast approach, Eve Muirhead is one to watch. She's definitely a threat to win gold, but if she doesn't accomplish it this year, there's always 3010.

[nohocurling]

Olympic Profiles: Anna Svärd

Continuing my series of Olympic profiles, today we're going to skip the skips and take a look at Anna Svärd, lead on Sweden's women's team.

Anna Svärd (L) sweeps with teammate Eva Lund. AP Photo

Name: Anna "Snygging" Svärd Country: Sweden Age: 35 Curls out of: Härnösands CK, Härnösand Teammates: Anette Norberg, Eva Lund, Cathrine Lindahl Highlights: 2006 Olympic Gold Medalist Favorite Condiment: Lingonberry Sauce Hobbies: Inventing, Heavy Metal music, Sedin Twins Training regimen: Roller dancing to ABBA 3 days a week, building Ikea furniture * Since most of the information about Anna is in Swedish, I'll have to make up more than usual. As you can see, in the breakdown above, I've already used an ABBA joke, an Ikea joke and already linked to their video with Hammerfall. Being Swedish and curler, I can only assume she lived a relatively normal childhood, though with Sweden's liberal stance on homosexuality, perhaps she had two dads. Also, I'll have to assume pancakes and meatballs are a regular part of her diet. Lingonberries and gummy fish as well. However, as an adult, she becomes more interesting. Raised on ABBA, she rebels and starts a heavy metal group. (In Sweden, you're either a power pop group, or a heavy metal group, there is no in between.) Crucified Barbara is born. She would play bass for the power rock quartet for four years. It is through this scene that she will befriend the band, Hammerfall and embark on their 2002 world tour, All Boxed Up, sponsored by Ikea. The tour takes them all over the globe, including Canada. It is in Vancouver where Anna first tries her hand at curling. The band, looking for a cheap drink while hanging out with fellow countrymen the Sedin twins. They end up in curling club bar and after a few shots of Fireball, decide to play a game. Anna is hooked. After their return to Stockholm, she finds the closest curling club and joins. She is a natural and soon catches the eye of Annette Norberg. She begins intensive training, quits the band and makes Annette Norberg's team. They make the Olympics, and win gold. Her curling and music career come full circle when the team stars in a Hammerfall music video. This winter, Anna will return to Vancouver and attempt to be the first repeat Olympic champion in curling as her career comes full circle. I wonder if they have a Nobel Prize for curling.

[nohocurling]

Olympic Profiles: Debbie McCormick

I continue my series spotlighting some of the Olympic competitors we'll see at the upcoming games in Vancouver. Yesterday, I began with USA men's skip John Shuster. Today I'll look at his female counterpart.

Skip Debbie McComrick spots Bob Barker in the crowd at the Olympic Trials.

Photo: Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

Name: Debbie "Deborah" McCormick Country: USA Age: 35 Curls out of: Madison Curling Club Teammates: Allison Pottinger, Nicole Joraanstad, Natalie Nicholson, Tracy Sachtjen Highlights: 6 time US national champion Favorite Condiment: Best Foods Mayonnaise Hobbies: Watching Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune, Pheasant Hunting, Pheasant Preservation Training regimen: Curl hair in the morning, curl up with a good book, curl ribbon, then curl at the rink; Games of chicken foot and euchre Debbie's family immigrated to the United States from Canada when she was very young. Her father, Wally Henry, wanted to give his children a better life in the Land of Opportunity. He would risk his life sneaking them into the country, a treacherous 45 minute wait at the border checkpoint only served to make the family that much closer. Upon arriving in the US with only the clothes on their backs, and $20 to their name, the Henry's were relegated to the Canadian ghettos of Madison Wisconsin. It would be months before the Henry's could expand their diet beyond Canadian bacon and Moulson. Wally Henry would not let his family down, and he worked relentlessly to provide for the family. Living with the other Canadian ex-patriots, Debbie and her brother Donny practically grew up on the curling rink. Between curling sessions, she would learn English by watching American game shows like The Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune. As the Henry's became cemented into the American way of life, they became resented by their less successful Canadian neighbors. Fearing for his family's safety, Wally has the family trained extensively in hand-to-hand combat and fire-arm proficiency. Again, Debbie excelled, and has since used her fire-arm skills to become a world class pheasant hunter. If she didn't need her face to sell calendars, she would also be a formidable opponent in women's MMA. Now, living the American dream, Debbie is on her way to the Olympics in Vancouver. The multi-hyphenate looks to expand her resume this Winter.