Mar 19, 2017
Diana Magazine pin-up, November 11, 1972. Same photo later used by The Official Marc Bolan Fan Club in 1980 as a poster.
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Diana Magazine pin-up, November 11, 1972. Same photo later used by The Official Marc Bolan Fan Club in 1980 as a poster.
Week 3 - Z's house
"No time for the ol' in-n-out luv, just here to read the meter". (re: I'm updating from my phone at work and I don't have time for a proper write-up) Up 7 - 2 in shitty kickball Adam Bistoff fucked his whole team by popping the ball. Rule was established hours before the game. Scroll down for objective evidence. Several disputed calls throughout the match led to final decisions / cheaters proof via Rock-Paper-Scissors. Epic best of 3 battle. Scroll down for results. Old Man Balls FC allowed #JPP a second chance but OMB was granted a 3.5 run lead through tense negotiations led by your host Z for Old Man Balls and Bunting for #JPP. (Reminiscent of negotiations from last years Can-Jam night and we all know how that turned out). Old Man Balls FC scored 8 runs in the first but squandered the lead. #JPP showed real heart. Came down to a disputed call so we went to shotgun sprints and OMB young guns crushed it.
Week14
Magnum PI Dodgeball at Crippler’s house
#JustPressPause wins inaugural season of Men’s Travel League!!!
Despite the best (or worst) efforts of the host, Crippler, to skew the event to Old Man Ball F.C., who had a whole week head start growing moustaches, OMB F.C. still couldn’t pull it together. Some teams are just winners and I hate to admit it but #JPP had it this year. Was it Ratt’s dedication by not missing a single event? Maybe. Was it the decision to relieve Bunting of the captainship? Probably. Was it Crippler’s poor decision to not just have a moustache growing contest as the championship game? Definitely.
As far as the actual dodgeball games go, it was all very mild-manner, ruled by sports etiquette and gentlemanly demeanors... Who am I kidding - it was complete shit-show! Picture a bunch of 40yr old grown men bitching and crying like little babies at every close call and disagreement. So pretty much your normal HDD gathering. Game 1 & 2 were won relatively handley by #JPP. Game 3 saw OMB walking off the field with arms raised in victory - after some questionable antics on both sides. In an effort to appease all, the great and wise captain Jerome Tarpy brokered a deal to replay the 3rd game in complete silence (he will go down in the annals of MTL and, for that matter, HDD history as one of the greatest leaders the league and fraternal society has ever seen, nor will ever see - a true uniter of men). That 3rd game was a site to see and something that may be instituted at future events - we were surprised the neighbors hadn’t called the cops on us up till then. By the way, #JPP won that game too.
So in conclusion, Crippler lost the championship for Old Man Balls F.C. And I’ll stand by that statement! Also, I would be remiss not to mention the true MVP of the league - Todd Kufel. He single-handedly won Archery and Wiffleball. Without him #JPP sucked... sucked. I stand by that statement too!
So it has been confirmed that Men’s Travel League is a tremendous success and will continue on. Stay tuned for...
Men’s Travel League Fall-Ball session. Shortened fall season. Tentative start date early October. Venues include local drinking establishments with various var sports.
Men’s Travel League SlumBEER Party. Details TBD.....
Week 12
Beer-in-Hand Wiffle Ball at Tarpy’s house
Sorry I don’t have time for my usual yarn.
#JPP kicked some OMB ass. Kuf was untouchable on the bump.
#JPP now leads overall 6-5!
We rock, you suck!
OMB applies for a stay of execution this week in Lewiston.
Week 11
ShitterBall at Kuf’s house
Note: if you don’t know what ShitterBall is, read this article. It explains nothing.
https://sites.google.com/site/soosasoftball/team-announcements/shitterballvstrashball
#JPP WINS CRAP SHOOT!
Associated Press
An early sprinkle couldn’t dampen the mood for #JPP at the lavish Kufel Estates in Lancaster. The game was Shitter Ball, and from the opening toss from our host, #JPP left no doubt about who was to leave with empty bowels on this evening.
The rules of the game were like Pyramid; only different. Each contestant threw 5 balls from 3 different distances at a strategically placed geriatric toilet. Balls that entered and stayed in the commode earned their team 5 points. Balls that struck any part of the apparatus earned 1 point. Countless hours of pitching softball practice to his girls prepared Todd and #JPP to take immediate control of the competition by outpacing OMB in the first round by himself. OMB’s arms were a bit constipated as they couldn’t muster the accuracy to make a direct deposit. As the sun set and the mosquitoes made their rounds, Kuf, PT, V, Ratt, and Bunting consistently battered the weary faux porcelain target while LB, Jerome, Z, and Bull were left holding the colostomy bag. Points were tallied and a landslide winner was crowned.
The pregame meal included a buffet of par boiled foot long dogs (complete with an apropo shit sauce), fried bologna sandwiches, bratwursts, and veggie briquettes. Natty Bo and the best beer in America were the thirst quenchers of choice.
Those that didn’t need to drive to Illinois the next morning were treated to a relaxing post game fire and engaging conversation on the veranda.
The season series is now knotted at 5. The pendulum has swung and #JPP, winners of 4 of the last 6, now own the momentum. Since the departure of OMB’s youthful contingent (and a change in #JPP management) OMB has struggled mightily to compete.
Next week, the MTL visits the Palmeri Ranch. Invitations are open for pre-event golfing to those that have the stamina to compete all day.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/11XXt8mLp_TAWvzMJfVEIIZMk2Fxuc6wcEZUDQcYEk5M/edit
V
Managing Editor
MTL Weekly
Week - 10
Volleyball at Ratt’s
#JPP Crushes OMB
On a hot as fuck evening, #JPP scorched OMB 21-9 and 22-11. #JPP, with Bunting and Ratt, delivered an ass crunching over English Pete and Jimmy. Ratt was doing his best Karch Kiraly impersonation with his over-hand serves and what not. The only excuse that English and Jimmy could come up with was that the court was not regulation size, being only 20 x 20 feet. A volleyball court is 18m (59 ft) long and 9m (29.5 ft) wide, divided into 9m × 9m halves by a one-meter (40-inch) wide net. English stated that he was disappointed in the small size but I guess Lisa likes it that way. The start of the game had to be delayed a bit as Jimmy, diving for a ball in warm-up, hit a support line which caused a pole to break. After rigging the net and getting the pole back up with more string, a ladder, glue, duct tape, hair spray, and Jenga blocks. #JPP then cruised to an easy win. Hot dogs were served before the game and Palmeri showed up after coaching his daughter’s soccer team. So yes, a grand total of five (5) people showed up for MTL. Though the turn out was low, a nice beer selection was given by the gracious host Lisa, er um, Ratt I mean. Jimmy thought that the game should have been Ping Pong with a Davis Cup format but Ratt, being the host, had final say. There was one creepy neighbor spectator sitting on his porch watching the game and he had his eye on Bunting whenever he would bend over to pick up the ball; reminded me of the pick up truck guy from Dodgeball. All and all, a fun night for the five (5) MTL members that could make it.
Week9
Week 9 - Yelling Goat: Attendance
Old Man Balls busted another load on #JustPressPause. When it comes to attendance OMB are like a sore penis - you just can’t beat them. By a 3 - 1 margin, OMB out classed #JPP to bring the current standings to 6-3 in OMB’s favor. Some quotes thrown around after the event:
“ ...win at all costs...dedication to the task at hand..be there when called upon and pick up slack where there is some... that’s how OMB rolls...”
“Play like a champion…that is what we did last night!”
“It wasn't even close although Ratt made a game of it with some serious effort.”
"Individuals play the game, teams win championships.”
“Ratt is the #JPP Lebron James”
Week8
Trivia at Anchor Bar
With the sound of a thwap...OMB thrust and slapped JPP across face in a narrow but demoralizing win at Anchor Bar
Looks like #JPP #JustCan’tCloseTheGap. They just don;t have the heart for it, they don;t want it enough, they don’t have the old man balls to bring it home.
What a great win on the road for OMB despite a gut-wrenching close-end result with #JPP losing Anchor Bar trivia by a mere one wrong answer (thanks to Bunting). Word coming back from officials that other contestants played under protest thinking that both our teams were googling answers. Furminger's entrance for a ten minute beer helped get OMB over the top, but kudos to newly minted OMBer Armstrong for his input and Palmieri being on time for the entire night, sharing his knowledge and up-skirt pix. Thx to Robinson for being a great host and MTL dedication by showing up on his wife's bday, leaving Jodie to care for the chilluns and to Kuf sexual needs. Next week a home date for OMB...Kufs? 5-3 is the tally now.