a-z nsfw headcanon meme
i decided to do this as one big post, for fun and profit and also because i can and i make the rules here, so there.
@ilingeron / @littlehoundthings / @bloodofoldtevinter afterwards — what kind(s) of aftercare do they like being given? do they like giving their partner aftercare? do they fall asleep quickly after sex? it's not over until emmrich's praised his partner at least twelve times for being amazing, at least some naked cuddles after the fact, and some pillow talk, which could honestly be anything, could be about nothing, it's more the intimate act of stream of consciousness conversation fragments with someone he cares about before dropping off to sleep. because like…while emmrich has undoubtedly had no strings attached kind of relationships, sure, it's not exactly a secret he gets attached hard and fast, so it's the quiet aftermath where the world is just him and his partner for a little while that's the aftercare for him.
like it's not over just because the fireworks have popped off, it's a guarantee he'll eventually drop off touching his partner in some capacity because it's the connection after the fact.
baths together to clean up are also on the menu, because that's soothing, too. for him it's going to be all about those quiet moments?
anyway, he won't typically be the first to fall asleep after sex, and he is definitely going to be the first one up, because he is - canonically! - the guy who's gonna ask you how you want your eggs in the morning.
@inferal-ism / @nekrotisch / @bloodofoldtevinter beg — do they like making their partner(s) beg? do they like begging their partner? he does like making his partners beg, next question. i mean, okay, it's not so cut and dry, necessarily. it's not just ~wants them to beg~ and that's that, it typically comes in, like, two flavors.
one. there's something gratifying about having so thoroughly wrecked someone with the appetizer that there's saying fuck the main course and give them dessert. stringing someone along to the point where they're begging for the finale is…well, it's an ego boost. it's not a joke: he does know the finer points of anatomy, and that is not a come on, it is a threat and a promise, and he can and will use it to his advantage.
two. so here's where the soft dom thing comes into play. and, to clarify here, this is not an every time, all the time kind of thing. sixty-seventy percent of the time he might be a lil freak, but the dynamics are going to be loose and fast and you go with the time you have and the inclination of the moment. but! when the mood is there, like i've said before, his partner is going to have to use their words. (which, i mean, this also goes into the denial thing, too, but hear me out.) if it's a case of tell me what you want, or how does that feel, or a question that has any kind of answer, he will - even and especially if he knows what the answer is - avoid the thing his partner is wanting until they satisfy him with actual words. a nod is not an answer, a noise is not an answer. words.
@plusdedragonne / @littlehoundthings / @weavrot body — what is their favorite body part of theirs? of their partner(s)'? are there any specific body parts they like to pay special attention to (ex. feet, hands, ass, etc)? where are their erogenous zones? where are they most sensitive? of his? his hands. there's no way he's gone through life and not had people obsessed with them and what they can do, and you know what they say about a guy with big hands wink wonk. it's actually that he wears big gloves but that is neither here nor there, my point is he knows what he's doing with them. with a partner? as a general rule, look, he goes immediately for the neck kiss, the neck bites, you might say he's a neck-romancer (stop booing me, i'm funny), but honestly it varies with his partners. in one person it might be the slope and dimples of their back, in someone else it might be the insides of their wrists, or- point is, everyone is different and everyone he's been with has had something about them that's fascinated him for various reasons, and driven him to distraction. there's a joke here about showing ankles that i'm not going to be the one make but you see my vision, i hope.
when it comes to him: like…his collar bones are prominent, they're out there, they're vulnerable, nipping at them will make him twitchy, and the edge of and that hollow under his ribs and his lower belly are also pretty sensitive.
@nekrotisch cum — how long does it take to make them cum? do they have any kinks relating to cum? do they like when their partner(s) cum(s) inside them? do they like cumming inside their partner(s)? do they like when their partner(s) cum on any of their body parts? do they like cumming on any of their partner(s)' body parts? listen, he's got longevity, he's not a two pumlp chump, but the effort as he's gotten older to maintain his status as a sixty minute man (anybody? hello?) has also increased, that's just aging, to be honest. he's still 100% got it, for the most part, but you know, shit happens. sometimes it hits a little too good and the next thing you know it's all over but the crying, i guess.
(amanda will you fucking stop? no never.)
anyway the answer to the above is yes please. let me be very clear here: dominant does not automatically mean top and this man is 100% a switch and happy to be here. there's also a bit below where i talked about it a little but he absolutely has an undiscovered breeding kink someone needs to introduce him to so he can marvel at this newfound knowledge about himself. he also deserves to be pushed up against his shelves of eleventy billion skulls and be given sloppy head, and no one has done this and it's a true tragedy, tbh.
point is, he will use what is at his disposal to get the job done. if there's not a little oral / hand play as an opening act then something is clearly very wrong, because that's part and parcel with that whole edging someone until they cry package that comes standard with him when there's, you know, the opportunity to do so (obviously if it's fucking dirty in a risky place that bit might be truncated or skipped but hey, just as a baseline, is what i'm saying).
@weavrot delay — do they like having their orgasm delayed/denied? do they like delaying/denying their partner(s)' orgasm? he will absolutely hold off on his own until his partner comes - such as he can. i mean…things happen, right, in the heat of the moment, and maybe it pops off a little ahead of schedule, that's life. but he will do his damndest and recite thedas's version of baseball stats in his head as long as he possibly can to make sure his partner finishes first, he is a gentleman, okay. his partner is going to finish no matter what, and he endeavors to make them first.
on the other end of it, like i said above, he can and will deny it and any number of things until a certain point. (he's not cruel, he's not that kind of guy, he's not a rip off of 50 shades which is a can of worms i won't rant about here - read better bdsm literature - he'll eventually relent if it's obvious he's maybe done too good of a job). but it's not a harsh thing, there's lots of encouragement before and praise after, along with the physical reward of it.
@weavrot drive — how high is their sex drive? are they hyposexual, hypersexual, or somewhere in between? does it change depending on the circumstance? how often do they have sex? honestly, he still has a very strong libido but it's tempered at this point, and that's down to both age and experience. a guy in his fifties is not going to be as young, dumb, and full of cum as he was in his twenties, but he is going to be more of an overall menace because at that point he's figured out what he likes best and knows enough to figure it out for a partner via a partner's reactions. he's more primed to efficiently go for the up up down down left right left right b a start (does…am i the only one that gets that please tell me i'm not the only one that gets that joke c'mon). but just because his libido is still very healthy and he knows what he's doing doesn't mean that's where he's immediately going to jump to, at this point there's something to be said for the anticipation leading up to actual sex - and i don't mean physical foreplay, i mean the verbal back and forth, the glances across a room, that kind of thing - that he probably didn't appreciate enough when he was younger.
anyway - and i'm coming to appreciate that maybe these things aren't obvious bc i guess everyone hasn't romanced him which why not??? you're hurting my feelings here - even if he self-admits there hasn't been anyone serious in a few years because he's been busy with work and manfred and his research, this doesn't mean he's been isolated like a monk, it means whatever sex he's been having has been casual, this man is not unacquainted with the idea of friends with benefits, okay. there are undoubtedly friends of his that are down for, like, a night out and a good time that doesn't lead to strings attached (i'm sure it's also blown up his face a time or two from him getting too attached). and masturbation is absolutely a thing and probably easier to manage and work into the ol' schedule from time to time, so it's not like he's been a saint, he just hasn't tried to give his heart to someone that may not want it recently. he's capable in a lot of ways of separating sex from love.
@plusdedragonne dynamic — are they dominant? do they like to be dominated? how do they show their dominance? how do they show their partner(s) they want to be dominated? are they more versatile or does it depend on the context/their partner(s)? soft dom, fullstop. even a touch of a brat tamer as needed. he likes to have that control but he wants it in a way that's an expression of care. lots of encouragement and praise. he'll point out how well they're doing, how pretty they are, how good they feel - this isn't stuff he's shy about in the bedroom. and like i said above, this isn't a…it always has to be that way thing with him, at all. well, the praise will be because of who emmrich is as a person, but the clear lines of who is what aren't necessarily required for him to be into it and have a great time. it's a preference, yes, that he likes to indulge in, because if he's with someone he cares about he's a besotted fool at all times and the control means he can provide the best possible experience (in his mind), but sometimes it's not that serious. sometimes you (general you and specifically emmrich) just want to be naked with your favorite person.
@omniterror / @littlehoundthings / @oldbloodoftevinter fantasy — do they have any sexual fantasies they'd like to try out? have they ever gotten to act on a sexual fantasy? so, what makes this fun is that…emmrich is older, right. he's no stranger to relationships and sex and intimacy in that respect, so he's had a lot of time to work through and figure out his wants and desires and act on a lot of them, at this point. a lot of things he's thought about, he's done! which isn't a bad thing, it's all experience to be learned from, and it means his partner gets is the benefit of experimentation and discovery and him figuring himself out sexually.
but. that being said there are two things: one, his biggest, absolute number one fantasy of all time is finally having someone that's his. he's never been married. he's never made love to his spouse, which for him carries different connotations than other forms of partnership. and it's an idle thing, because he's literally said he always thought he'd be married, but it's clear he thinks his chance at that has passed him by. this is the big one.
the second thing is: there is an undiscovered breeding kink lurking that he isn't aware exists and won't be until circumstances arise for him to indulge fully in it. like, look, we know he knows probably every method to prevent all kinds of things known to thedas, but given the chance to indulge without worrying about it? he will learn things about himself that day that he has never suspected exist.
@plusdedragonne music — do they like to play music while having sex? what kind of music? is the music for vibes, aesthetic, or simply to drown out the sounds they and their partner(s) make (or even a mix of all three)? you know what, as much of a grand romantic as this man is, if he could use it to enhance the overall situation? yes, absolutely. in his modern verse i promise you he has fucked to depeche mode's violator and sisters of mercy's floodland; no i will not be taking questions on this point at this time.
anyway, fun little thought for those following along at home: you know what's really private, and has music? private opera boxes. i'm just saying. i don't think he's above making use of that if his partner is down to clown, i don't think he's as tightly laced as he wants everyone to think he is. it's…really easy to just…slip those curtains closed, is what i'm saying, and who's going to hear?
@nekrotisch names — do they like being called names in the bedroom? if so, what kind of names? are they pet names or are they names to appeal to a praise/humiliation kink? do they like calling their partner(s) names in the bedroom? do they have a daddy/mommy kink? in news that will shock absolutely no one, he's real big on pet names. giving them, yes, there's no higher praise from him really than for him to bust out the my love, he breaks that one out it's serious. and, i feel like i should point out, genuine, because he tap dances so hard around the word love as a whole until he feels safe and secure enough to say it. but returning the sentiment is also good, and he's down for that, too. like, sure, there's an intimacy in saying someone's name, and if he can break someone to the point that's all they've got, great! but there's also something gratifying about having endearments attached to him that'll make him very soft. uh. metaphorically. emotionally. you know what i mean.
praise kink, yes, absolutely. he figures out his partner has a praise kink it's game over. he can't stop himself from complimenting people on the regular as it is, but his person? it absolutely carries over to the bedroom, he'll be happy to tell them in great, flowery detail how exquisite they feel, and how precious they are, and how much he adores them. humiliation and degradation? hard pass. that might actually be a good way to get him to completely back off and show a concern, because why would he ever degrade that what's most precious to him, you dig?
also, he can probably be firm, yes, but i think the idea of the daddy kink would…probably kind of weird him out? the way a teacher kink might, because there's a difference - a world of difference - between soft dom and power imbalance play.
@nekrotisch positions — what are their favorite sex positions? do they have a singular favorite sex position? are there any positions they would like to try? are there any positions they don't like? while generally he very much enjoys eye contact because there's a lot of vulnerability and intimacy in that, it doesn't mean other things are off the table there. like, yeah, face to face is great. but so's being able able to admire the shape and slope of your partner's back. the thing here is, though, some positions get a little awkward with him, depending on his partner, because in a lot of cases he's a lot taller. he's like mostly leg, it makes things like from behind with someone really short a little..well, not remotely impossible, but requiring a little more forethought. a change of the angle and being glad his arms are really long, too, i guess.
anyway, missionary is fine, he's down with that, but also things like his partner's knees on his shoulders. admittedly this might lead to more of a…a…wheelbarrow position, depending, because again he's very tall, but he's also going to have check ins on positions like that because of things like leg fatigue and possible discomfort. also a big fan of being ridden because it, more than missionary, gives the best view, he absolutely wants to see everything and use his hands as much as his voice, and that affords him access to both.
@infernal-ism stimulation — how do they prefer to be stimulated? do they like being given handjobs? do they like being fingered? do they like being given oral? is/are there any specific spot(s) on their body they like being stimulated the most? where do they like to stimulate their partner(s)? so i may have actually accidentally answered this one mostly above, whoops, but it's okay. all of that holds true, regardless, but i will add on the fact that he doesn't just dive straight in for the button combo, he's a big fan of skirting the most sensitive of sensitive areas (like he's not gonna go straight for someone's dick / clit, is what i'm saying, there's a ritual to these things - the reams of stuff i could talk about with this man and ritual even with sex tbh - and he'll get to eventually, but it's about savoring the anticipation, not rushing to the main course.
@infernal-ism style — do they like it rough? do they like it soft? do they prefer fucking or making love? do they like a hard and fast pace, a slow and gentle pace, or does it vary/depend on the situation? listen, i'm not going to lie to you. i'm not going to say that it has to be rose petals and coffins all the time, okay. while i fully believe when emmrich volkarin is in love all sex with his person is an expression of that love, he can, does, and will fuck someone against a wall half dressed because sometimes it's nice to have that stereotypical poetry and silk sheets by candle light, and sometimes it's not being able to wait until that's a possibility because it's about having his hands on them now. like he's a man that feels things deeply and passionately, there is no half assed measures with him, especially in love, and sometimes that translates - with the right partner - into being driven up a wall just by their existence. like yes he's prim and proper and restrained but if pushed enough the minute the chance presents itself, he's pouncing, trappings of grand romance present or not be damned, especially when it's a case of obvious mutual ardor and attachment.
@infernal-ism tease — do they like teasing their partner(s)? do they like being teased? how do they like to tease/be teased? there is exactly one (1) point i agree with this whole ass fandom on when it comes to emmrich volkarin and sex, and that is that this man is down for some cock warming. that's it. the rest of their bullshit is weird and they need to go touch grass, but on this point, i'll give them the nod. it's the ultimate tease, right? what could possibly be more maddening than having your partner literally inside you but being held in place and them refusing to do anything else. going about their business like they're not doing exactly what they know they're doing.
i'm just saying.
anyway, what i'm saying is that he's fine with teasing and being teased. and look (collaborate and listen), hear my words, okay. this man can try to pass himself off as highbrow as he wants to, he's still human. the oldies but goodies still work on him like a charm; things like the ever-fruitful hip wiggle with oh i was just getting comfy c:. his partner wants to distract him while he's on a tangent? (because let's be real, he can be really adorable when something sets off his infodump sensor, but sometimes that's gotta be cut a little short for, you know, other stuff.) suck on his fingers (assumeing he's not been elbow deep in a corpse just previously, that is, he does scrub up religiously afterward). seriously, watch him go from waxing poetic about the nature of some Fade bullshit to laser like focus in no time flat. it's an easy way to retrain his brain in another direction and make him aware of other parts that aren't getting the same attention. he's not really that hard to distract and tease, he gets flustered easily enough if someone breaks the script and catches him off guard, and that's not a bad thing.
@nekrotisch turn on — what turns them on? i think it's definitely something he may not be aware of until he's dragged out of the necropolis and thrust into the whole saving the world business, but he figures out he absolutely 1000% has an adrenaline-related horny dial. it's what attracts him to the people he becomes enamored by (rook or strife, depending, canonically, the other people i could see him having chemistry with like neve and davrin, etc) because they do court adventure and danger, and it pushes buttons for him.
it's cliche, but someone who can and will wear his clothing (and ostensibly nothing else). it mashes on possessive (but in a soft way) urges. seeing the person he cares about wrapped in something he wears so close to the skin does something for him.
he's not immune to attractive people, he has eyes, he can see - but no matter what button mash game mechanics may tell you - people who have a sense of whimsy and playfulness, and who generally are kind in their own way will be his biggest attractor. can't be afraid to be soft with him, he needs to receive it as much as give it. he needs to be enough and simultaneously not too much for someone to handle (and he can be a lot). i wouldn't remotely go so far as to say he has demi leanings, he's a sexual being outside of emotional attraction, but for him to be fulfilled and down bad, there's got to be the possibility of something more, and someone who has a mean streak and finds his work repulsive ain't it.
and like, no one asked, but i'm gonna share it anyway in the nature of transparency and to keep things grouped together - i mean i've written this much about his sex life what's a couple more things right - just, you know, as a note: he is so down to clown watching his partner get themselves off, especially if he gets to direct.
lichdom — the question no one wants answers to that i'm going to answer anyway. and since we've been ignoring the elephant in the room: let's talk a second about sex, lichdom, and you. if skeleton boning is a concept that is not for you, this is where you can stop reading because…obviously the mechanics of sex are going to change with that, since uh. he doesn't have skin. or organs. or…or genitalia. or physical hormone dumps. or…you get the idea.
like, obviously, manual stimulation for his partners is still very much an option, he has hands. True, they're…They're bone hands, and usually wrapped in gauze, but they'll get ‘er done. but sex for him changes entirely, once he no longer has, like, nerve endings and erogenous zones such as we think of them? like you can’t give him sloppy head and call it good at that point, shit gets a little weird.
so you find yourself in a situation where your skeleton boyfriend is, well. a skeleton, but you're still feeling frisky. what's gonna get his motor going at this point, right, now that he doesn't have the usual places you'd start with? davrin was right all along, folks, tug at the ol' bone. no, seriously, literally. hook your fingers in his mandible to drag him in. slip your fingers between his ribs. tickle the inside of his spine. if that's your thing, exploring the parts of human anatomy that aren't usually otherwise exposed like that is a surefire way to clue him in on what you're angling for. letting him know he's still wanted (physically) is going to get him right in his (probably preserved and gifted to his love) heart.
(and that's why you don't reach into his ribcage, not naming any names.)
i did tell y'all this was weird, right, i distinctly remember saying shit gets weird-
anyway, just because he's undead it doesn't mean his mental sex drive is, too. it just means you have to adjust methods and expectations to make it work. once you figure out how it's all gonna work for both of you, you, too, can have a loving and fulfilling sex life with your, uh. weird skeleton boyfriend, ig.
