#onceuponatimefunny

[tumbl-mwah-blog]

*peter pan & rumplestilsken die* NOOOO PETER RUMPBELLE DANG IT *rumple is in Alina's cage* IF HES BACK THEN-- WHERES PETER. WHERE DEM BROWS

[normal1sbor1ng]

😂😂 {#ouat #onceuponatime #ouatedit #ouatfunny #onceuponatimefunny}

[oncecrazy]

In Which Rumpel and Belle are Trying to get Married and Everything Goes Wrong

 A Once Conversation by Oncecrazy.tumblr.com

For Katie and Danny, two wonderful friends who reached a great milestone today.

Rumpel: Ah Mary Margaret, there you are! Would you mind telling me what’s going on? We were supposed to start ten minutes ago!

Snow: We’re just having some technical difficulties back here. Just give me a few more minutes.

Rumpel: Moe looks like he’s going to kill me, Miss Swan is over there with her feet up on a chair drinking out of a flask, and laughing at something, Mother Superior is about to leave, and the dwarves are threatening to eat the cake. What’s going on?

Snow: Just some trouble with the bridal party is all.

Rumpel: What kind of trouble?

Snow: I’ve got it under control.

Rumpel: Great, now I’m worried.

Snow: Don’t worry I’ve called in some reinforcements.

Rumpel: Why does that not make me feel any better? Who?

Regina: Sorry I'm late. Thanks for the invitation.

Rumpel: Really? You got so desperate you called Regina? What happened? Where’s Ruby, the maid of honor?

Regina: Next time you decide to have a moonlit wedding, do it on a night when the moon isn’t full.

Rumpel: Has someone gone to find her?

Snow: We have her. She’s in control. It’s her cloak we can’t find.

Rumpel: What do you mean you can’t find it?

Snow: Granny is tearing her room apart as we speak. It’s not like her to forget it’s a full moon.

Regina: Just get a leash and walk her down the aisle.

Emma: (Leans head back in their direction) Just make Henry go get Pongo. Slap a bow on her and bowtie on him and everyone will think it’s on purpose.

Snow: Henry’s a little busy at the moment.

Emma: *Coughs to stifle laugh*

Rumpel: Doing what? His only job is to walk down the aisle with a pillow!

Snow: Someone forgot to mention he was supposed to tie the rings to the pillow.

Rumpel: And?

Snow: He’s helping the plumber rip apart the pipes in your shop to save the ring.

Rumpel: And who’s paying the plumber?

Regina: It’s your wedding. You want the ring, you pay the plumber.

Rumpel: It was your son that did it 

Regina: Her son (Points to Emma)

Emma: Oh sure, now he’s my son.

Rumpel: How did the ring even get in the pipes in the first place?

Snow: That’s a story for another day.

Rumpel: Where are Ariel and Eric? Why aren’t they helping?

Regina: How do you feel about wheeling a bathtub down the aisle?

Rumpel: That had better be sarcasm.

Emma: You wish.

Snow: She was fighting with Eric about his job again. She’s very animated with her arms when she yells. Her bracelet broke, went through the back window, and landed in a pond. Eric is diving around in the pond trying to find it.

Emma: *Hides her head to laugh*

Rumpel: What now?

Snow: Well her tail started to get really dry and uncomfortable. So we put her in that old fashioned bathtub in the back of your shop. We were carrying buckets of water from the bathroom sink to the tub to pour on her tail so she wouldn’t be so uncomfortable. Henry decided to help, and he put the pillow with the rings on the counter by the sink.

Rumpel: And that’s how the ring got in the pipes?

Regina: You need a new pillow too. In the same motion the pillow went in the toilet. My son is truly gifted.

Emma: Your son? Does that mean you’re paying for the plumber?

Regina: Of course not.

Rumpel: Where’s Charming?

Snow: He’s on an errand.

Rumpel: What kind of errand?

Snow: None of your business.

Rumpel: It’s my wedding, it’s my business.

Snow: Never mind about him. Oh but if you walk past the carriage I promise there’s only going to be a missing horse temporarily. Charming’s truck got a flat.

Rumpel: What errand was so important that he stole a horse?

Snow: None of your business.

Rumpel: Tell me!

Snow: No!

Rumpel: You know I can make you tell me...

Emma: Stop it! Mary Margaret needs pickles and gum, I need tampons, and Belle needs a garter.

Rumpel: Belle has a garter.

Snow: Well…

Rumpel: What now?

Snow: Belle was putting the finishing touches on and she asked Henry to bring her the garter. He didn’t have a good grip and accidentally shot it in the bathtub with Ariel.

Regina: I am so taking him out for ice cream later.

Rumpel: Why pickles and gum?

Snow: I’m pregnant. I need pickles.

Rumpel: Gum?

Snow: For the pickle breath

Regina: So why didn’t Emma run the errand?

Snow: She was busy doing sheriff duties.

Rumpel: What kind of sheriff duties?

Snow: Well…you see…she was…let’s not talk about it.

Rumpel: Tell me now.

Snow: Well…

Emma: Your idiot son and a certain drunk pirate got in a fight over who got to be the sheriffs date to the wedding. It started to get physical.

Rumpel: And?

Snow: And so she handcuffed them together.

Rumpel: So go un-cuff them!

Snow: Well…

Rumpel: Miss Swan where is the key?

Emma: I was cuffing them as David was getting the horse ready to run an errand. I dropped it. The horse ate it.

Rumpel: Don’t you have multiple keys?

Emma: At a normal sheriff’s station? Yes. In a tiny cloaked town run by fairytale characters? No.

Snow: As soon as David is done getting the other things he’s going to stop by the animal hospital and see if he can get a horse laxative.

Rumpel: Where are the other groomsmen?

Emma: *Busts up laughing* I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Snow: Jefferson convinced Neal and Whale to play poker. Hook joined in since he’s cuffed to Neal. They got really into it and made the waiter for the reception bring them drinks-

Rumpel: Get to the point Mary Margaret.

Snow: They’re drunk. Really, really drunk.

Rumpel: Why do I sense there’s more?

Regina: Hook is sobbing because his hand is gone and he doesn’t know where it went. Neal is shoving all his change into the gumball machine in your store and yelling that he can’t get three sevens. Jefferson is singing a song to the bridal bouquets and looking for some smoking caterpillar. And Whale is riding around on Ruby’s back repeatedly yelling, “It’s my birthday and I’ll ride the merry-go-round if I want to!”

Emma: *Continuous laughing*

Rumpel: Why is this so funny to you?

Emma: Thanks to this wedding, I haven’t slept in thirty-six hours. I’ve had seven cups of coffee in the last hour, it’s that time of the month, and I can’t sit down for more than five minutes at time before something else goes wrong. I’ve decided I don’t care and I’m going to sit back and laugh at the situation.

Rumpel: No, you’re going to go fix the situation. Where is Belle?

Snow: Doing Yoga and breathing exercises with Leroy to keep herself from panicking.

Regina: Leroy knows Yoga?

Emma: Apparently he’s gifted.

Snow: Gold the important thing is that you love Belle.  It’s not about the place or the guests, or an evil queen breaking in to announce she’s cursing you-

Regina: Are we really going to go there right now?

Snow: It’s about your love for each other.

Rumpel: You’re right. I think I’ll go get Belle and Mother Superior and do this just the two of us. I know the perfect place.

Clark: Hey Emma, you’re not going to arrest us if we eat the cake, right?

Emma: Does it look like I have handcuffs to arrest you with?

Plumber: Uh excuse me? I got the ring out of the pipe. The mermaid has it. She said I should come here to find someone to pay the bill.

Emma: Back at the shop there’s a crying pirate handcuffed to a guy shoving money in a gumball machine. They’ll split the bill.

Plumber: ….alrighty then.

Clark: IT’S AN ICE-CREAM CAKE!

*Everyone runs*