#one-upper

[aloneinyourhead15-blog]

The One-Upper

I have been working in this office for going on 4 years now and in that time I’ve come to dread the presence of perhaps the most annoying troll on this planet, The One-Upper.  She skulks around listening to other people’s conversations, just looking for any way to insert herself directly into the spotlight.  Anything you have ever done she’s done it better AND she got a trophy.  You had a car accident?  Well let me tell you about the time aliens from Pluto flattened her tires and took her into their spaceship.  Oh no, you got the flu last weekend? Bitch, she had EBOLA and she still came to work!  I could go on forever... 

I’ve thrown in the towel and decided to fight fire with fire, I might as well have a little fun.  I will one-up The One-Upper!  

[gurl]

10 Ways To Tell If You’re A One-Upper

[chrow]

The Lost Art of Listening

Spare me your bullshit platitudes. Keep your Dollar Store zen To yourself. Don’t comfort me in generalities. Don’t remind me how much worse Others have it. I know it could be worse. Don’t insult me by reminding me. This isn’t a contest But it is very real To me. This isn’t a contest But the calm on my face betrays The fact that This would kill you. So don’t relate. Don’t condescend. Just listen.

[etceterawhatever-blog]

"I _invented_ running . . . "

Nothing puts a damper on feeling great about yourself for running 11 miles in preparation for a half-marathon, for which you’ve been brutally training for weeks, than your co-worker, who is not training for anything, texting you to say he ran 13 miles, just for the fun of it.