I'm Sorry
Genre : Hogwarts!au
Theme : Angst
Pairing : Harin x N/A
Description : In the midst of a raging war, a boy who made all the wrong choices turned away from the chaos in search of a mirror that could reveal the deepest desire of a person's heart.
He knew very well that time was running out, yet he still ran as fast as his legs could take him for what felt like an eternity. Passing through almost every known corridor, he could finally feel shame and guilt creeping onto his heart as the stone walls around him stared at him accusingly.
He could hear them mocking him at the back of his head. Coward, there goes the coward.
The place he once called home was nothing but a fragment of old bittersweet memories. After all, he didn't belong there anymore.
He tried his best to drown out the curses that were being thrown about from behind him and ignore the hot searing pain that was coming from his left forearm. He wanted to be strong like how he dreamed of being when he was younger, even if it was only just for this short moment.
He kept running in search of a place that was hidden in plain sight, and as the chaos behind him began to grow fainter, he was sure that he was heading towards the right direction.
It was getting darker, he could barely see anything clearly anymore.
So with a whisper, he breathed out,
“Lumos”
From the tip of his wand, light illuminated the darkness around him, revealing a door a few steps in front of him which led to the very place that he was searching for this whole time.
With heavy yet hasty steps, he approached the dusty wooden door. As far as he knew, it had been awhile since the place was last visited by anyone, and it was evident just by looking at the rusty lock on the door.
Pointing his wand at the lock, he casted a non-verbal unlocking charm. Click.
The door creaked open as he placed his hand on it, giving it a gentle push. What he saw in front of him was an empty classroom, or so most people would think and not give a second thought about it.
This was the place where you could find the most desperate desire of a person's heart by looking back into your own pitiful reflection.
This was where the Mirror of Erised was kept.
Taking in a deep breath, he closed his eyes and let his legs take him to where the mirror stood. As he was walking, his mind turned into a sea of memories. An overwhelming wave of regret washed over him as each memory floated around like a lost boat with a broken compass.
Once his footsteps came to a stop, it meant that the mirror was in front of him and that he could finally open his eyes but he hesitated. He had a feeling that what he would be seeing would crush him inside and he was scared. He was terrified.
However again, time wasn't on his side so whether he liked it or not, he had to face the mirror. With that, he opened his eyes.
He saw himself.
He saw a boy who was lost, a boy who had made all the wrong decisions, a boy who broke too many promises.
His physical appearance wasn't any better. His raven-coloured hair almost looked completely gray due to the dust and debris that had fallen around him, his clothes were all tattered and torn, and his once flawless face was covered with scars and dried up blood. All evidence of the battle that was raging outside.
Pulling away from his own reflection, he noticed that he was no longer alone in the mirror as four pairs of eyes were staring back at his own.
They belonged to his-
No, he couldn't possibly call them his friends now, could he? After everything he had done to them?
As his vision began to cloud with tears, he heard someone calling his name.
“Harin-hyung, why the long face? I thought you promised we were going to play a game of jelly bean roulette at the dorms later?”, said Giwook with a pout.
Harin hurriedly wiped his tears away with his sleeve and shifted his eyes to the image of the young metamorphmagus who was struggling to carry his sweets in his arms.
“I already bought 5 packs of Bertie Bott's during the last Hogsmeade trip! We're definitely not going to sleep tonight”, Giwook playfully bumped his rainbow-coloured head into Harin's back.
Even though he was well-aware that that wasn't the real Giwook, Harin still reached out his left hand to touch the spot where Giwook's image had previously bumped into his reflection's back. The feeling of melancholy enveloped his heart.
He couldn't take it anymore so he teared his gaze away from the younger boy but unfortunately as he did so, another person spoke.
“Woah, what's with the tears? Don't tell me you already watched the muggle movie without me!”
Not him. Why did it have to be him?
“Harin-ah, did you know I even borrowed this muggle contraption from the Muggle Studies Professor just for us to watch the movie? We just have to insert the round disk you found into this slot, and apparently images will start moving on its own, just like The Daily Prophet but with sounds! Aren't muggle wonders fascinating?”, Yonghoon-hyung exclaimed in excitement.
Harin surprised himself when he let out a chuckle at his hyung's rambling. But as soon as he realised what he did, his face instantly hardened.
How could he be happy when it was him who made his hyung suffer in the first place?
Frustrated at his hopeless stupidity, he curled his fingers into a fist and knocked hard on the mirror.
Fortunately, it didn't break but it did cause another person to speak up and that person was none other than-
“Hyungu..”, Harin's voice trembled under his breath.
“So I was thinking, maybe we could drop by Zonko's during the next hogsmeade trip? Mum owled me a pouch full of galleons for my birthday, can you believe it! Said it was better for me to pick out my own present but I bet she's just too lazy to go to Diagon Alley to go find one”, joked Hyungu who had his arm slung around Harin's shoulders in the mirror.
Kang Hyungu, was the first friend he ever made at Hogwarts. The story behind how they met was simple but sweet as the two had shared a compartment on the train and before any words were ever exchanged, chocolate frogs and pumpkin pasties were being passed back and forth between them first. From then on, they stuck by each other's side even though they were separated by their respective houses. They didn't let any house prejudice turn them against each other.
Their friendship ran deep. That is, until someone broke that trust. Harin could still picture the absolute horror and hurt he saw in his Hyungu's eyes when he did what he did. Not a day went by without him regretting everything that took place.
Harin let out a sigh. As much as he wanted this suffering to end, there was still one person left.
“Hi hyung, we missed you”, and upon hearing those soft gentle words, Harin's guilt began to overwhelm him. He tried to ignore the pain for as long as he could but it was getting unbearable.
Eventually, he crumpled to the ground and broke down into sobs. His hands were covering his face out of shame. His whole body was shaking.
“Harin-hyung, please don't cry”, the voice cooed.
“Dongmyeong-ah, I'm sorry, Hyung is really really sorry”, Harin managed to choke out.
“What are you sorry about? You didn't do anything wrong”, Dongmyeong smiled reassuringly. The sweetness from the younger boy's voice felt like honey to his ears.
It crushed his heart even more when he raised his head and saw that all four images of his old friends had crowded on the floor around his reflection and were looking at him in worry.
Harin knew exactly what he was doing when he left the battle to find the Mirror of Erised. He knew that they were going to lose and betraying them now would not be the best option. All he wanted was his last moments to be with the people he loved dearly and the mirror was the only way.
His friends were his deepest desire.
And..he truly missed them.
[a/n]
it's been awhile since i last wrote something hehe, onewe's recent comeback was beyond my imagination and when the mv finally dropped, i just had to write something harry potter related because of all the beautiful aesthetics > < hope you enjoy!
stan onewe~