I've seen a lot of things and lived through a lot of nonsense but these last few weeks at work with the changes and then the layoffs coming soon, have really had a very strong effect on me. My perspective has changed dramatically. I'm a lot more emotional and my mood is very stoic. Normally I get into things that I enjoy but lately nothing pumps me up anymore. In addition to that watching my mom deteriorate is really wearing me down. I can't watch. Even more interesting is that nothing upsets me anymore. I'm a very exact person and I'm driven. So things are wrong I speak up. Now I'm just like whatever. If all of this were just spaced out so I could handle it one at a time, but like this it's a bit strong to work around. I know I'll get through it somehow but all I see right now is dark narrow passage with no light at the other side. There's not a lot of a place to release either. Not very much of anyone I can communicate with in a real sense. These are very dark days. Only my music keeps me going. #itiswhatitis #life #keeponkeepingon #fighting #stayingafloat #trying #onlythemusic #darkdays #hardtimes
