Babe - Even though we aren’t together, you will always have a place in my heart. Thank you for proving that I am capable of loving and being loved. I will always appreciate the nature of the relationship we had and how much we were able to grow together. I learned a lot from being with you, and I am grateful to have shared my life with you, even for a just a few years. Thank you for loving me despite not always understanding why I do the things that I do. I know you refuse to move on from me, but know that not being able to give you what you want kills me. I hope you have a great life because you deserve it.
Bub - We were a product of proximity. Had you not been the boy next next next door, we probably wouldn’t have happened. Even now, I still don’t understand our demise. I left for a few days, and when I came back, everything was different. I don’t know what happened to you or what I did for everything to change. Maybe you liked me better as laptop girl - only existing via Skype. Or maybe you were the boy who wanted to take things slow, and I was the girl who was too impatient to wait. Whatever it was, I invested a lot of my year in you, and now I guess all we do is keep tabs on each other via social media. #walanghiya
Hubs - You showed me what it felt like to love someone, not as a brother or as a lover. But simply as a friend. While the confession of your feelings was ill-timed, I still think of you every now and again. I can’t believe you had feelings for me while I always came to you complaining about the boys in my life. Now in retrospect, our interactions made so much sense. And I love how you saw me at my ups and downs and somehow loved me through all of it. I will always want you in my life. I respect you for always being on your grind, and I hope you get everything you work for. And plus, I have dibs for 2020. Or maybe sooner?
Boo - I remember my best friend showing me the text messages you sent her, asking about me. I was really flattered. And your gestures were very sweet. Cake pops on Valentine’s Day and a bouquet of white lilies just because, both through the mail. But gifts can’t change the fact that we had nothing in common. I’m glad you’ve found someone that makes you really happy (and smokes as much weed as you do, haha).
Hun - Meeting you was the most serendipitous thing to happen to me all year. I will always remember that night in Prague and that weekend in Germany.
Mon petit chou - The definition of a typical guy. Another instance of proximity coupled with the inability to cope with loneliness. Regardless, I felt like we got along inordinately well. It’s rare for me to find someone who not only understands all the funny things I say, but laughs at them too. From being with you, I learned not to take things so seriously. And I learned that sometimes the assholery is just a front. You’re all talk and you know it. And no matter how much of a dick you think you are, I know how nice you can actually be. Not sure what's gonna happen when we get back to reality but I don't think I care. I enjoyed living in the present and not thinking so hard about things with you.
Damn, this year was a trip. All I did was keep an open mind, and it allowed me to experience so much. I'm going into the new year with the same mindset, so I can't even begin to predict what's in store for me. I definitely learned a lot of lessons in 2012 so hopefully I'll be smarter this time around.
