The honesty of capes
This started as a quick visual guide to the various cape-wearing heroes in OPM... and then went a wee bit sideways thanks to an excellent suggestion by @browseret.
First, who wears a cape?
Most pro-heroes in OPM world don't wear capes. It comes across as cartoonish, doesn't really fit with how most of them style themselves, and it has some lethal downsides.
But there are a few. Here's the ones I do know about:
Long white cape (mid-calf length) and Moon boots: it can only be Blast! The damage to his cape suggests that a cape is quite grabbable.
Long white cape and red low-heeled boots: it can only be Saitama, aka Caped Baldy!
Short white cape (doesn't cover butt) and high heels (see next image). That's our Flashy Flash.
Above: the difference between Flash and Saitama's cape-wearing. Below: Saitama being yoinked by his cape. Invulnerability is necessary to wear a tablecloth round your shoulders.
Heels (not as high as Flash's) and long white cape -- that's Feather. You'll recognise his flamboyance.
Long RED cape, low-heeled boots. That's Food Battler Futoshi.
Death Gatling features a complex, multi-layered cloak of a cape that's impossible to mistake for anyone else's. Here, it's worse for wear after two days of hard fighting.
Second, what does it tell us about them?
Well, One-Punch Man started in 2009, well after the 2004 hit The Incredibles that gave us the fantastic catch phrase, 'No capes!' Capes are a real handicap for their wearers -- Saitama being yoinked out of a mine cart aside, the way other cape-wearers see their capes damaged in battle speaks to its disadvantage.
However...
...what if being able to wear a cape as an established pro-hero is an honest signal of sorts, like a long train on a peacock or elaborate antlers on a stag? Does this hold up?
Blast (S-Class Rank 1)
Picking a fight with Blast is a bad, bad idea unless 'God' knows you by name. Blast is incredibly strong, disgustingly fast, can teleport, and has gravitational powers at his disposal. He's not easy to tag! And while it's not emphasised, it seems like he can heal wounds as soon as he can appose the cut ends. Even if it's something as serious as having one of his arms cut off.
Notice that all his other wounds appear to have healed, and after this, so was his arm. This guy is so unfair.
Flashy Flash (S-Class Rank 13)
This dude doesn't just handicap himself with a cape, he adds on high heels too. He's nowhere near as clever as he thinks he is, but he's fast, he's agile, and he's utterly ruthless when it comes to killing. He kills people with as little compunction as he does monsters -- you would do well not to provoke him.
It's not showing off when you can back up your claims.
Death Gatling (A-Class Rank 8)
Sure, this guy isn't otherworldly in speed or strength, but he's calm under pressure, is a fantastic strategist, good at effectively moblizing others, and he looses a terrifying stream of machine gun bullets without hesitation the moment he has an opening.
Feather (A-Class Rank 34)
It's interesting that he doesn't blindly throw himself into the fray if the situation doesn't look good; he notoriously sat out fighting Rhino Wrestler. But when he does think the situation is good for him, he's Wolverine with wings.
Unfortunately for him, he's a bit of a sucker for playing the white knight to a damsel in distress, which has been used against him before. This guy should probably ditch the cape.
When it's good, it's great. And when it's not, well, let's take some medicine and pretend it never happened.
Saitama (A-Class Rank 39)
If anyone can afford to carry a cape, Saitama can. I don't need to sing Saitama's praises. It's enough to show that being yanked out of his mine cart was a shopping opportunity for him.
When nothing can touch you, you can do whatever you like. It's a good thing he's a moral guy.
Food Battler Futoshi (C-Class Rank 66)
Food Battler makes no bones about being an offensive fighter. What he is, however, is an incredibly agile guy -- it's a rare monster that can lay so much as claw tip on him.
It's a pity he lacks killing ability -- with that preternatural agility, he could really be formidable.
Hmm... maybe there is something in that honest signalling thing. Most of the cape wearers do have a bit more in the tank than their ranks would suggest.
What do you think?
