A friend of mine was complaining last night at a meeting about someone who is sober but not in AA who had pointed out that AA doesn’t work for a large number of people. The arrogance of the responses, tinged with nervousness was palpable.
This is probably my biggest issue with AA. That person was right. Statistics, as much as one can garner from a program based around anonymity, clearly indicate that many people that try AA relapse. But many of them find other ways to overcome their addiction - religion, Buddhism, agnostic and atheist variations on the 12 step theme, SMART recovery, Refuge Recovery, meditation, medication assisted treatment, NA, addiction focused psychotherapy, or some combination of these and other methods.
All of this is discounted the second it’s mentioned in most AA gatherings. Those who got sober young and/or have decades of AA recovery under their belts are the most vehement deniers. The only explanation I can think of is that this threatens their worldview and how they’ve chosen to live their life, that it might raise some uncomfortable doubts about who they are and the lives they’ve chosen. It’s as though the idea of any other option is a personal attack on them and AA as a whole.
The arrogance and proselytizing that often ensues is usually very disturbing. There’s always this need to tear down every other possible form of recovery, especially is those that aren’t abstinent-only or include harm reduction. And there’s always “they’ll be back” assertion (spoken or not). It’s never “well if that works for them, then good for them.” Sometimes it goes so far as “well then they weren’t a real alcoholic.”
The combination of the ideas AA must work for everyone “if they really want it” and that nothing else can work are so blatantly absurd and very dangerous. So is the idea that you need a “psychic change” or “spiritual awakening” and if AA isn’t how you get sober, the “you just aren’t ready.”
Nobody is suggesting that AA isn’t a powerful solution for millions of people. But while there are and estimated 2-5 million AAs out there, there are also 7+ billion human beings on this planet. The idea that some people can’t find a different way is ludicrous.
