Hi if anyone needs me I’ll be burying myself in the dirt oh my god I am in retrospect realizing I just had the most embarrassing moment of my life
I was at a celebration of life for a family friend who was a wonderful person with an incredible sense of humor and as part of her demands for this event (she called them that not me) there was a photo booth where people could take silly pictures. It was great. I was standing in line, I turned my head and the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in real life was standing in line next to me. She was probably 40ish, she had the prettiest eyes, beautiful dark hair, and was just a complete and utter smokeshow. And I reflexively went, “Oh my God, you are so beautiful.”
And you might think that’s where this ends but I regret to inform you, dear reader, it is not.
Because she looked at me and went, “Oh gosh, so are you, thank you, wow.” And we’re both flustered. I’m now realizing hours later she was also flustered. And I apologize for maybe coming on too strong, she’s just really pretty and she looks at me, and the woman next to me, and goes, “Oh, sorry, are you two together?”
And you see, reader, the woman next to me was My Mother. And we used to look Really Related. But we don’t anymore. Like once we point it out people see it, but people don’t always see it at first anymore.
And as a bit.
To be silly.
I had as a 32 year old adult woman, lowkey hitting on the most beautiful woman alive, at a celebration of life for what must be a mutual friend, decide to do a bit, and go, “Oh yeah she’s my Mommy.”
AND SHE GOT DISAPPOINTED
I AM NOW IN AUTISTIC HINDSIGHT
RECOGNIZING THE EXPRESSION FOR WHAT IT WAS
WHICH WAS DISAPPOINTMENT
BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT
SINCE MY MOTHER IS IN HER 60’S
THAT I MEANT ~*MOMMY*~ AND NOT MY ACTUAL BIOLOGICAL MOTHER
BEAUTIFUL STRANGER PLEASE COME BACK I WILL LEAVE MY FIANCE FOR YOU GOD YOU WERE THE KIND OF BEAUTY THAT STARTED THE TROJAN WAR AND I’M BUT A SIMPLE DUMBASS AND I PANICKED BECAUSE I REALIZED I WAS ABOUT TO START HITTING ON A HOT OLDER WOMAN WHILE STANDING NEXT TO MY MOM I WOULD SAY IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN BUT IT WILL I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF
