#or karate

[roseofithaca]

More evidence Three and Twelve were basically the same.

(Or that Capaldi was a Pertwee fanboy, whichever)

[presumenothing]

#punch me mouri ran

halloweenverse!saltpost.txt

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WATCH NOW: VIRAL VIDEO! Karate champion breaks the internet And also an entire concrete wall, but really, who’s counting?

TOKYO, JAPAN: Standing at a petite 160cm in her karate gi, Mouri Ran looks far more friendly and approachable than one might expect of a black belt, nationally-ranked martial artist. 

In fact, as both fans and interviewers can attest to, she’s known for being a formidable competitor on the court and an absolute sweetheart off it. 

The 16-year-old captain of Teitan High School’s karate team and Kanto’s current regional champion has thoroughly demonstrated her ability to break an increasingly unlikely assortment of things with her bare hands: wooden boards, competition records, cement blocks, the hearts of karate fans worldwide (okay, we’re kidding about that last one, though good luck if you happen to be competing against her).

And now, apparently, the Internet.

In a one-minute clip that was originally uploaded to Japanese video streaming site Niconico and has since gained subtitles in six languages and millions of hits worldwide, Mouri is midway through an interview after the opening ceremony of the 44th All Japan High School Championships when someone offscreen interrupts, rather loudly, to accuse the karate champ of winning unfairly with her supernatural abilities.

The question is met with shocked silence – and understandably so.

For those of you unfamiliar to the field of competitive martial arts, here’s a quick primer: no abilities are allowed. None. Nada, zip, zilch, of the “immediate and lifelong disqualification if you’re found breaking this law” variety. Even the hint of such a scandal can easily ruin an athlete’s career, as the headlines in any sports newspaper can confirm.

(Before the rest of you send me a thousand angry emails, howlers, or telepathic complaints: yes, I am aware that the concept of “free-for-all” tournaments is a thing that exists. But since that’s an exception rather than the rule, I’m conveniently ignoring it for the purposes of this article, although interested readers are highly encouraged to look up “kyogoku makoto open tournament japan 2017” with your preferred scry engine. 

It’s worth your time, I promise.)

And what follows... honestly, just watch the video already, no description will do it justice – though this commentary-slash-transcript from original uploader “221bats” (Holmes fan much, anyone?) might help: 

INTERVIEWER: How do you feel about tomorrow’s matches, Mouri-senshu?

RAN: All of my opponents are really strong this year! But my karate team at Teitan has been really enthusiastic in helping me train, so I’ll do my b–

SOME ASSHOLE (yelling from offscreen): That’s utter bullshit, Mouri! We all know you’ve been cheating with your witch powers –

[Sudden silence. I mean like what even is wrong with this guy?? What’s his damage tbh]

RAN (smiling): Thank you for the question, sir – sorry, I didn’t catch your name? I understand your concern, but I can assure you that –

[AND THEN SHE PUNCHES THE WALL AND BREAKS IT IN HALF. HOLY SHIT. JUST DO IT, RAN, JUST DO IT]

[then she fixes the wall, of course, Ran’s a nice person like that]

RAN (still smiling): – I would never use my powers in a karate match. Though you can file a request for the officials to review my past tournament footage if you’d prefer?

[Rude Asshole™ is dragged off by tournament security, justice is restored, all is well with the world]

RAN (turns back to interviewer): Where was I? Ah, right! Thank you to everyone who’s been supporting me – I’ll definitely do my best, so please look forward to it! 

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Update from the editor: As of press time, #punchmemouriran has been trending on Twitter for the past two days. Mouri’s own Niconico account (which has more than tripled in followers), where she regularly shares household chore lifehacks for fellow witches, now features a new video of her thanking everyone for their support, and advising viewers not to try a similar stunt on their own without qualified magical supervision.

In short – don’t try this at home, kids. Go for one of her recipe videos instead. They’re as good as they look, believe me.

[boffinness]

I kinda wanna watch Yuri On Fire now

Not them literally on fire can I have a fire dancers anime

[suaside]

A Random Memory of Kereti

I look up to a few people on this planet and this guy is one of them. The first memory I have of Kereti (Kurt to most) is when I was a kid and I see this tall ass light skinned Samoan guy in my house. At the time I didn’t know but he had just returned from his two year mission in Scotland for the church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints (Mormon). I remember trying to impress this tall, gangly guy with my toys or something. Anyway, he returned from his mission and planned to marry my oldest sister and they did not long after that night. After a few years, I learned that Kereti was a gang banger during his youth. I won’t go into much of that because I’m not sure how much he wants me talking about that if he reads this. I’ll just say that the stories he told me and my brothers let us know he was in it full time. Somewhere along his time as a gang banger, he jumped fully into the LDS church and changed his ways where he met my sister. A lot of his stories involved pop-lockin and break dancing which were always my favorite because when he demonstrated his skills, it was amazing to see someone that tall and big moving so gracefully. As we grew as a family, I grew to love this man like another older blood brother. His knowledge of life and the way he made me look at things changed me in many ways because I was a knucklehead, like him, at a young age. Well, I wasn’t a gang bangin’ knucklehead but I did have my moments of stupidity and rebellion. And he has always been so at clownin’ everyone. Growing up around Samoan people you had to be quick on your toes with that. No one likes a cry baby and the laughter never stopped around him. The main reason why I’m writing this quick story about him is because it was his birthday the other day and it got me thinking about him. I rarely see him these days because he lives in Utah with my sister and their beautiful daughter. So when I was thinking about him, a memory popped into my head that made me miss him even more. This memory takes place at the house I grew up in and for some dumb reason I was being a total asshole to my mom. For the life of me I can’t remember why. So I’m at home being mean to my mom and my dad couldn’t have been there because I wouldn’t have the balls to act like that around him. Then Kereti comes from somewhere and grabs me hard by the arm and drags me outside to the backyard. He’s never done anything like that before so it surprised the shit out of me. When we get outside, he lets go of my arm and turns me to him and looks straight into my eyes and says something that I can’t remember (so sad I can’t remember) but I do remember how it made me feel inside and it brought me to tears. The sting from his words that brought to light my wrong doing and the warmth of his words that brought me comfort after. He put his hand on my shoulder and left me outside by myself to clear my head. I never acted like that again towards my mom since that day and the love I have for Kereti only strengthened when he didn’t tell my dad how I was acting that night saving me from a galaxy sized ass stomping. So, to my brotha, Kurt, I just want to say, happy late birthday! And even though we rarely talk these days, I’ll never forget the impact you had on me growing up and helping me be the man I am today. Oh and if you remember that time when you pulled me outside, it’d be totally cool if you happen to remember what you told me so you can tell me and I can update this post.

[thatfeelpatrickharris-blog]

i want to start making films again, i loved it and i was really good at it. it was maybe the best i’ve ever been at anything in my life

[sixchord-blog]

Can I just hire some people to let me punch them in the face like is that a thing I can do because I really think it would make me feel better

[happiestartist-blog-blog-blog]