#orange.fear

[morally-gray-inside]

My orange side, as Deceit. He was literally a "Wolf in Sheeps Clothing". As explained in Discord:

[morally-gray-inside]

Deceit Memories Below the Cut:

TW for mentions of torture, torture techniques, mentions of non-consensual acts, descriptions of recovery, Abusive Unknown Orange Side

Okay, so, in my Deceit timeline, I had an orange "side". When I say "side", I mean that I suspect that he really wasn't a part of Thomas. I don't know where he came from, but the way he acted, I could hardly believe that he was within the dark mindscape. I was on the same terms with the lights sides as in canon before I was kidnapped by the orange side. He kept me somewhat as his "pet" within the dark mind palace, hidden away from any other side. He would take his time torturing me, doing whatever he could to break me and make me compliant. This included, but was NOT limited to collaring, removal of my scales, blinding my snake eye, keeping me in freezing cold rooms (I was partially cold-blooded), and some... non-consensual things that I'm not in the right mindset to relay right now. I had been kept there for several months, enduring more and more torture before I was FINALLY rescued by the light sides. Remus was the one who tipped them off to my disappearance, after months of not hearing from me. Virgil had the most knowledge of the dark side of the mindscape (minus myself), so he had the best idea of where I was. After Orange was "defeated" (i.e. had his power and influence restricted), I was taken back to the light mindscape. One of the most vivid parts of my rescue is that after we had all arrived, Patton asked if he could hug me, and then pulled me in very close, sobbing against my shoulder. Eventually, the others joined, apologizing for how they had treated me in the past. I didn't want to cry but I was so overwhelmed, and I couldn't get my voice to work (I hadn't properly used it in a while), so I just bawled silently. It was so much all at once, and I felt safe enough to let go right then. I needed a fair amount of help once I was back, which included moving my room closer to the other's (A huge thank you to Roman for that), physical therapy (my joints and limbs hadn't been used properly in a while which made it hard to walk well), a guide at almost all time (I was down to only one eye, but I did start wearing an eyepatch not long after), and general emotional help to uncondition my traumatized brain and get me living a normal life once more. I grew very close to the other sides, and I know for sure that I developed feelings for Logan and Patton (Most likely Virgil and Roman also, Remus I only ever saw as an annoying but loveable brother). It was a long process for me to recover within my timeline, and even now, the visions of Orange haunt me.

[morally-gray-inside]

Some memories from a Kin Server I'm in, from my Deceit Timeline.

I miss my Patton so much.

[Image Transcription: A Discord Dark Mode screenshot from 💙🐍Snake Dad🐍💙 saying: I just wanted to pop in real quick to say how much I ended up loving my Patton. We started off kinda rocky, as we represented opposing ideals, but after all of my events with Orange (who Im still trying to scrape memories up for, but none of them are good) and my kinda,,, idk, rescue? I remember that once we popped up in the "Light" living room, Patton just pulled me into a huge hug (after asking) and sobbed against my shoulder. After that we all started to bond. We all made amends with each other and could treat each other civilly, which I was happy enough with. He just, was always very good to me after that, and I think I fell in true, honest love with him. Idk, all the memories during that time are fuzzy, but they are warm.

I miss him... End Transcription.]