Sep 12, 2018
Everyone knows that if you get up, you're leaving your spot open to scavengers. If you wanted to keep that shit locked up air tight, you should have stuck around to fend off the bottomfeeders.
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Everyone knows that if you get up, you're leaving your spot open to scavengers. If you wanted to keep that shit locked up air tight, you should have stuck around to fend off the bottomfeeders.
YOU KNOW, I THINK THE ICING ON THE CAKE OF THE AFFRONT TO NATURE THAT DIRK’S DRAWING REVEALED ITSELF TO BE IS THE FACT THAT THE DISRESPECTFUL SON OF A BITCH GOT MY EYE COLOR RIGHT. DON’T GET ME WRONG, I’VE POSTED A SELFIE BEFORE WITHOUT LENSES OR SHADES ON, BUT WHAT REALLY GETS ME IS THAT THERE’S AN INCONCEIVABLE AMOUNT OF TIMELINES OUT THERE THAT FOLLOW THE SAME COOKIE CUTTER STORYLINE AS MINE DOES, WHERE THE KARKAT IN QUESTION HAS TO CONCEAL HIS MUTATION IN ORDER TO MAKE IT PAST GRUBHOOD ON ALTERNIA, AND HAS ALL OF HIS OVERACHIEVER THRESHIE DREAMS CRUSHED BY THE REALITY THAT THE RIGID CASTE SYSTEM THRUSTS UPON HIM AS SOON AS HE LEARNS HOW TO READ. HELL, I’M EVEN MUTUALS WITH A KARKAT WHO STILL REMAINS HEMOANONYMOUS, BECAUSE THAT’S JUST HOW SHIT IS IN HIS TIMELINE.
THEN WE GOT THIS FUCKING PIECE OF WORK. ALL OF THE POSSIBLE WEIGHT OF THE TRAUMA MOST KARKATS SHARE IS JUST DEFENESTRATED AS SOON AS THE SMUG MOTHERFUCKER SLIDES ME A PICTURE OF A PONY WITH CANDY RED EYES. MY “PONYSONA”, THE DEMON CALLS IT.
GODDAMN.
REPOST AND FILL IN WITH DETAILS ABOUT YOUR MUSE AS IF THEY WERE A CHARACTER IN A DATING SIM.
NAME: Rose Lalonde THEIR PROFESSION: Writer WHERE THEY CAN BE FOUND: Usually at home or in her garden FAVOURITE FOOD TYPE: Pasta. She’s a slut for good pasta FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Bad topic for this recovering alcoholic. However it is wine. FAVOURITE TRAIT (romance, passion, sexuality, talent, flirtation, sentiment, joy): Humor, playfulness. WHERE THEY WOULD GO ON A DATE: At home, in her garden, in a small restaurant, into cinema, or wherever her date would want to go to. IDEAL GIFT: Something selfmade. Chocolate too. Or shining stones and glistening juwelry. SHe likes glittery and shiny things. WHEN WILL THEY DRINK ALCOHOL: Right now not at all, since she’s still struggling with remaining clean and keeping her addiction in check. Her desire to take it is however the worst when she’s stressed or upset or bored. HOW MANY DATES UNTIL THEY GO TO BED : At least three or four.
tagged by : No one, stolen from @violetbard tagging : @orangesotiva @jackalsmoked @succulentpleasure @porrimadonna @peinde and everyone else who wants to do this!
@orangesotiva said: You are such a God damn twink.
and you are the stuffy nobody vwho thinks he can removwe my captions. vwe seem to be at an impasse.
✆ø%
Send “✆” for a MORNING text.
[to: DIRKHEAD] YOU FUCKING MISCREANT.[to: DIRKHEAD] I DON’T KNOW *HOW* YOU DID IT, BUT I’M CONVINCED YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SLIPPED MELATONIN IN THE MYSTERIOUS PIZZA THAT WAS SENDIFICATED TO MY KITCHEN LAST LIGHT.[to: DIRKHEAD] IT’S BECAUSE I SAID “DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO” WHEN YOU TOLD ME TO FIX MY SCHEDULE, ISN’T IT.[to: DIRKHEAD] YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I WILL HAVE YOUR LARYNX CLINICALLY REMOVED, AND YOU BET YOUR ASS I WILL DISPLAY IT ABOVE MY LAVISH FIREPLACE.
Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.
[to: DIRKHEAD] HERE’S THE CONCEPT: NORMAN REEDUS AND THE FUNKY FETUS.[to: DIRKHEAD] BUT THE MAIN ANTAGONIST ISN’T MADS MIKKELSEN.[to: DIRKHEAD] IT’S…….[to: DIRKHEAD] WAIT FOR IT……………..[to: DIRKHEAD] ……….. YOUNG STEVE BUSCEMI.
Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.
[to: DIRKHEAD] DIRK.[to: DIRKHEAD] I HAVE SOMETHING OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE TO ASK YOU, SO DROP WHATEVER FRIVOLOUS MATTERS YOU’RE ATTENDING TO RIGHT NOW AND GIVE ME A STRAIGHTFORWARD ANSWER.[to: DIRKHEAD] I CAN’T ASK SAM THIS BECAUSE HE’LL USE IT TO GET BACK AT ME FOR ALL OF THE BULLYING I PUT HIM THROUGH, SO I NEED YOU TO TELL ME.[to: DIRKHEAD] DO I REALLY LOOK LIKE I DON’T GET ANY. DOES IT REALLY SHOW IN MY FACE?
orangesotiva said: Prove it. Prove it right now.
I’M NOT SHOWING YOU MY ASS, DIRK.
orangesotiva replied to your post “YOU KNOW, WE GIVE TWINKS A LOT OF SHIT ON HERE, BUT HAVE YOU EVER...”
All Striders are twinks. If you're a twunk, you don't deserve to be a Strider and I'm coming to disown you.
YOU’RE LIKE SIX FEET TALL AND, FROM WHAT I’VE OBSERVED FROM THE SELFIES YOU POSTED IN THE PAST, FUCKING SHREDDED.
SO. WHAT IS THE TRUTH, STRIDERMAN.
Oh, hey, bugs bunny Dirk is back. Haven’t seen him around in a while.