#orientation stuff

[sith-shenanigans]

happy identity feelings, sapphic edition

"sapphic" is such a good identity for me.

when I identified as a lesbian, I clung to it as a way to be in denial about my gender. and nonbinary lesbians exist, but I didn't know that then. I don't think the identity could ever feel right to me again.

besides that, I might not be able to count. or I might be. I honestly have no idea if I'm occasionally attracted to very specific men or if I just want to be able to look like them—but I can't feel right identifying as bi either, because it might or might not be true.

but loving women and other enby sapphics is a part of my identity, and I do it with the context of my own relationship with gender, and it influences that relationship.

I don't know what exactly I count as, romantic orientation-wise, but sapphic feels right. and I'll never have a cis woman's relationship with gender—but I do have, in a weird hard-to-define-way, a sapphic one.

[lnevada]

LGBTQ+ Characters

In honor of Pride, here’s a short list of some of my favorite LGBT characters and their orientations; Cannon or personal HCs:

Deran Cody - Gay (Dominate & Top)

Ian Gallagher - Gay (Verse)

Mickey Milkovich - Gay (Bottom & proud of it!)

Daryl Dixon - Asexual (Sex repulsed) & Heteromantic

Sherlock Holmes - Asexual (Sex neutral) & Biromantic

Robbie the Zombie - Asexual (Sex Positive) & Aromantic

Captain Jack Harkness - Pansexual & Demiromantic

Venus - Transgender (M-F)

Jackieboy Man - Transgender (F-M) & Pansexual

Michonne - Bisexual

Kinda hard to narrow it down. But these are just some of the characters I find most impactful & that stick out to me.

Feel free to add your own onto the list. Let’s spread some positivity & showcase our favorites!

[nbandproud]

Some groups want words to have specific meanings that are only useful for a few people, but then they complain other people are making exclusive/more specific labels for themselves.

You can’t say “only X people can be Y” and then complain that people who are not X don’t want to identify as Y anymore and create something only for themselves instead.

You are either in favor of people being able to have specific groupings, or in favor of including everyone into broader groupings. And when I mean everyone, I also mean people you won’t be able to force into what you wished the group was restricted to.

People can’t be put into the only boxes you want to exist. They will choose what is better for themselves.

[still-intrepid]

Aaaaaww, I’m a little conflicted at--not at the news/photoset about Keira Knightly going with another girl to her school prom itself, but rather the reaction to it... which seems to be 1. “OMG BICON! I KNEW IT!” which....kay, sure why not; certainly I’m there being like yaay this news makes me happy too.... aaand 2. “um ACTUALLY that was only her friend they weren’t dating and she said it was a ~rite of passage~ to kiss your friends at school, so she’s deeply problematic”

...yeahhh, I dunno... no.  I mean I don’t know Keira Knightly personally, maybe she’s a really yucky person once you get to know her, but I’m not gonna go after her or anyone based on this quote (if it’s accurate, anyway.)  Like oh my gosh, I think people going with their friends to a prom is a GREAT idea!?  I mean especially at SCHOOL age, who had a serious boy/girlfriend by then not me.  (or wait... did I... see, the fact that I literally can’t remember at what point my (came out as gay a few months later) boyfriend and I (came out as gay like ten years later) actually broke up....  We certainly didn’t go to my school dance thingy together and I don’t remember ever... considering it!? even though we must have been together at some point during that year.)  

Anyway, as a genuine ~wlw~ or whatever, I am.... kinda even more for the importance of Close Female Friendships that may be in fact “just” friendships.  Like in Lady Bird when they went to the prom, heh.  Even if nowadays I was, I dunno, half hoping that meant something else, but not really because that wasn’t the story...?  that’s a larger thing I need to maybe talk about/investigate some other time.  It’s a shame how women’s friendship/relationship rep is often set against each other ;;;  it’s almost like we need more representation of diverse female relationships in general what

....Aaaaand also like.

I mean I did finish my final year of school with kissing girls in my class on a night out.  I had No Idea I was that way inclined at the time, but.  Uh I remember it being a lot nicer and more chill than that one time me and my boyfriend had kissed.

I broke up with said boyf (wait, he broke up with me, I remember; I was just very like “OKAY YES GREAT CAN WE BE FRIENDS THEN? COOL” in response), went out with a group of girls in my class one evening, told them, and one of the girls I didn’t even know that well (but had always admired whaaat) said something terribly cliché like, “well maybe you like girls then~”, and leaned over the table and passed an ice cube from her mouth to mine.  That brought my ratio of boy:girl kisses up to 1:1.  And that one was pretty awkward tbh, but funny, and... somehow later that evening me and a couple other friends decided we were going to try out kissing each other a bunch of times, sitting on these booth seats in some bar.  

Which...... i mean never before or since have i had the guts to do anything like that!!!  I am not... spontaneous or popular or ... I went to clubs, like, twice.  I drank only when other people bought my drinks.  How did it happen!?!  But it did.  It was... nice!?  it was nicer and a lot more chill--

and I thought and said it was because there was no pressure and because we were just friends and could be nothing else--and you know what, it was partly because of that.  Even if part of it was the.  you know the lesbian thing.  I dunno, part of it I’m sure was just that and it wasn’t a bad thing.

I guess I should point out this was Many Years Ago actually, and maybe the context was just that different.  Like... I didn’t know of anyone who was lesbian/bi at my school--though I was very out of the main social loop.  (incidentally also why I pause slightly with those “nah the unrealistic thing is to NOT have a huge group of lgbt people clustered together” -- if you were to write a story set in my school years.... it wouldn’t be like that.  It might be like that thing that’s now an unspeakable cliché, several characters who ‘don’t know what they are’ and are finding it out.  Like.. go easy, people aren’t all the same and neither are their backgrounds.)  Anyway--maybe now that kind of fooling around would be more inherently iffy because if would.... seem to be taking lightly something that’s real for other people?  I mean I know later when I (still straight, just...happy to be mistaken for gay??) was taken by some friends to a gay club and saw the straight girls laughing and trying to get their (not straight) friends to kiss .... i was so not impressed.  But I think that’s different, there was definitely like an imbalance there...  I dunno.  I think there’d be a way to try out kissing your friends ~as a rite of passage~ etc where no one is unclear and no one gets hurt -- and it just depends how you end up what it means in the end....

[gon-grl-blog]

Travelled to the Oceanografía with AFS valencia kids this weekend! Even though I don’t support it, the architecture was amazing to see, as well as the entrancing jellyfish we spent most of our time looking at 🐙.

[repotting]

i only want to be a woman if i can be a monstrous woman, a hideous woman, a fat woman, a barefaced and undecorated woman, an opinionated woman, a legs-unshaven woman, a face-unshaven-too woman, a comfortable woman, who exists first for herself and not to make others comfortable.

what’s the point in being a woman if i’m not allowed to be an autistic woman, a disabled woman, an unashamed woman, a woman who says yes and no and means each one? where’s the joy in womanhood if it constrains me so tightly i can hardly breathe?

i want to find out what it means to exist as a woman fully and without constraint, to be a woman without men, to be a woman who is loved and valued and accepted without having to struggle to be small and weak and delicate and decorative enough to make men comfortable.

if i can’t be a lesbian, i can’t bear to be a woman at all!

[sexpositivesapphic]

I've really been struggling with my sexuality, I used to identify as bi with a preference to girls but I've realized I never felt attraction to guys beyond "they're cute/hot/etc" but with girls I've felt emotional and sexual attraction, and it's made me think that I may just be a lesbian. Am I wrong to think that or am I just overthinking this?

I struggle with related feelings. Despite being a card carrying lesbian, every few years I have tried to convince myself ‘to try a man again’. Sometimes I have felt attraction to men; it is very brief and burns out and never turns into the kind of committed loving and sexual attraction I have had with women and do have with women extremely consistently. In the end, I identify as lesbian because I could never see myself having a relationship with a man the way I do with a woman; and even if in my orientation there is some wiggle, my partners are women; when I have children, I will raise them with another woman; and even if I could bond with a man in the same way I have with a woman, it doesn’t really matter that much because I have no need of men.

This being said, identify the way you feel most comfortable. If you can have attraction or relationships with men and you feel most comfortable describing yourself as bi, then do so. If you end up realising it is so lopsided that you feel it represents who you are more to identify as a lesbian-do that! Don’t feel pressured to let a label decide who you are; try to use them to express who you really are and feel comfortable with yourself. 

That’s my opinion, at any rate.

(mod l)

[chococheezecoffee-blog]

I just discovered the orientation Autochorissexual which is defined as: a disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein on wikipedia and I’ve heard a bunch of stories of people struggling with their orientation and stuff like that but this morning I didn’t identify as asexual or anything like that but after 10 mins of browsing tumblr all of the sudden I have a different orientation is that how its supposed to be?