Warning for language in this ficlet.
Desmond: You know how it's only champagne if it's from the French town of Champagne? And otherwise, it's sparkling wine?
Clay: Yeah?
Desmond: I wish more things were like that.
Clay: What do you mean?
Desmond: For example. Someone isn't a wanker unless they're from the French town of Wanqer. Otherwise, they're just a sparkling fuckwit.
Clay: *snorts a laugh*
*Federico and Ezio stop their conversation, looking over, interested.*
Desmond: He's not your fiancee unless he's from the French town of Fiance. Otherwise, he's just a sparkling future husband.
*Federico, Ezio, and Clay laugh*
Desmond: Or as I prefer to call it, a brosecco.
*Wheezing laughter*
Desmond: It's only as pussy if it's from the Poosay region of France, otherwise it's just a-
Clay cuts in, red in the face from laughter: Sparkling cunt!
All four break down in laughter, eyes watering, gasping in air.
Maria and Giovanni, off to the side: *Shakes heads in exasperation.
