To anyone following: thank you. I hope I can be the person to show you you aren’t alone.
We have multiple new policies going into place. We are trying to use one mask a day in the OR (unless soiled). We have to hide our boxes of N95 because they are being stolen either for other units or personal use. No visitors are allowed in the hospital. OR outpatients are allowed to have ONE person available in order to drive them home. That one person must stay in the pre op room and not wander. Patients and visitors are given a mask now. All hospital personnel must wear a mask at all times.
It has also been decided that our PACU (directly attached to the OR) will now be utilized as ICU / Step Down overflow of COVID-19 patients. With that being said, I will have even more experience added to my list. Not only am I learning to be an effective circulator, but I will now learn how to handle patients in recovery from Anesthesia. The will recover in our holding bay and the return to their pre op room.
With this news, I have hit my breaking point. I cried all the way home. I cried for nearly an hour in the shower. I cried more on the phone with my parents and best friend.
As a wife and mother, I am TERRIFIED to bring something home to my family. I always did some things right - hand hygiene, shoes off at door, clothes right into the laundry. However, I now wash my hands and cleanse them with Alcohol that my skin is cracking and bleeding. Shoes do not enter my house. I change into clean scrubs before I leave work. There’s not much else to do, I suppose.
What’s going on? I literally never thought I would live through a global pandemic. But I also never thought I’d be trying to find a new passion within the OR.