꙳ 𝐈 , 💌 : ❛❛ i’ll never know if there’s danger in confession . ❜❜
@mrbrwnstone / @giallowoman
the men were far gone by now , and so were the boys. francesca’s youngests played by the kitchen, watching as eleonora’s junior - still considerably older than the other’s - prepared them all warm milk to keep their little minds still. it was strange, but only when she thought about it - vespasianos and castigliones alike, sharing a table, a bed and in the no so distant future a bloodline. it was only odd when the men made it a big deal; when politics were to be brought up at the table, or when someone remembered the constant melodrama of planning a wedding with your family’s biggest rival. when it was only francesca and herself, eleonora took note of how strangely natural it felt.
on sundays they’d all have lunch together, drive by the other’s house and stay for the afternoon. strange as it was, a lunch prepared equally by one family and the other had recipes as well as children from both names. the women cooked, the men laughed, and then they went off to do their manly deeds - to shoot birds, and drive their cars, and smoke their cigarettes outside of the cheapest bar they could find open on a sunday afternoon. the children would play outside - except for that day, for it was raining, and suddenly all the kids could find interest in were the recipes unfolding at the kitchen.
( nora didn’t mind - she wasn’t much of a cook herself, but francesca most certainly was. and so she’d offer her the apron with the embroidery of the black medallion of the vespasianos and wash for her the peaches before sitting by the table and watching her build that pie with the precision of a sculptor. she’d sit and watch, laugh at one of the woman’s infants’ remarks and rub off the occasional strand of hair that fell from francesca’s bun as she poured her soul into the making of that dough. and while the pie went into the oven and the kids made up fun ways to kill time, the matriarchs could find a little peace by giorgio’s office, where the most quiet could be found. )
eleonora opens the window, allows the humid air to invade the ambient and welcomes francesca into the space. she opens up the wooden box on top of the desk and after a few moments of hovering a hand above the cigars, ends up picking up a humble cigarette instead.
eleonora: you’ll forgive me , tatina .
and lights up the cigarette, allowing the smoke to warm up her chest before blowing it out the window. calmly, she finds comfort with the weight of her body against the frame of the casement, finally giving francesca a good, long glare.
( she’s grown used to the other’s company, is what any of that means. never had she picked up a cigarette in front of her children, let alone the husband that sees his wife as the madonna. but francesca, she supposed, saw her as a person. not as the purity of the mother, or the idealization of the woman she should be. and so, there was no problem in being as real as that in her presence. )
it’s why she’s not particularly surprised when a remark such as that sparks up after their long silences, or if one of their trivial talks braids itself into a question that deep. for a woman who’s only ever seen talking about her children and her culinary gifts, francesca sure had a mind full of questions that even eleonora sometimes found no possible answer to. she, too, saw francesca for who she was : a woman with thoughts, and allowed to voice them even if only in the safety of nora’s presence.
eleonora: well , i suppose that depends on who you wish to confess to … ( a drag of her cigarette , ) but two people are known to never place any judgement upon you .
eleonora: one is god . we can’t be sure he’s even listening .
a quiet, ironic smile washes her lips before indulging on her smoke again. eleonora is a catholic woman, always has been, and very proudly at that. most if not all of her guilt had roots in the cross that dangles around her neck, yet god’s existence is one to make her secretly bitter. what does he know, is what she means, quietly resenting the fact of having to get down on her knees and ask a man for mercy on things he’d never understand. she instead liked to plead before his mother, the woman she should aspire to mirror, the one she’d disappoint after her own mother was gone and no longer around to disapprove of nora’s decisions.
eleonora: the other one is me . i’ll be listening alright , frances , but you know i won’t judge a bone in you . what troubles your mind ?