TRANSMISSION FROM @osoreruna :
"why didn't you say something before? why didn't you tell me? tell SOMEONE?"
EMOTIONAL STARTERS , ACCEPTING .
feeling interrogated is one thing. katsuki has been on the receiving end of that before, where people try to delve in to find the heart of the reason, determined to mine out the truth even if they have to take a sledgehammer to it / that, he could handle. he didn't spend a lot of time caring about extras trying to get something out of him, because he didn't care about them.
but nothing prepares him for the feeling of interrogation from his idol, his mentor, one of the few people he holds in high regards ; nothing prepares him for all might asking that question of why.
the young bakugou's teeth grit together. his brows furrow, gaze avoiding all might's while his hands clench into tight fists. some of the choice words he has in mind never make it past his throat, while others await on the tip of his tongue, waiting for the moment he cracks ... [ because while the hurricane spirals and lashes against the world, a boy resides in the eye, sheltered and protected and isolated all the same. ] ... and can't contain his thoughts anymore.
why didn't you say something before, the question echoes, and katsuki finally snaps back ; ❛ why the fuck would i ?! ❜ his shoulders ache with their rigidity, palms hurting at his nails embedding into calloused skin. his hands shake. with his fringe in the way, it's hard to see anything beyond the curled up and vicious snarl he wears - but he makes himself smaller, almost, hunching over with his arms closing around him. [ stains of hot salt water sting his cheeks, but he refuses to lift his gaze and face his idol. ]
katsuki's fingers curl with tension, no longer digging into palms ... but they are rigid instead, tendons and muscles struggling to maintain their position as the ache snakes its way up his arms. ❛ i don't treat my issues like they're some story people are entitled to hear ! all they'll do at the end of it is pity me, anyway, and i don't need that. hell, i don't fucking want that ! ❜
a sharp breath follows, and katsuki reaches to grab at his other arm. his heart hammers against his ribcage. its furious and erratic beat gnashes at bone with an intense protest, his lungs filling up with a billowing and thick smoke that smothers oxygen, even as he tries to control his breathing. the inner tempest roars and presses violently against his larynx. he wanted so, so badly to not lose himself in front of all might like this / he was fighting it with every fibre of his being.
[ but as he steadies his breath enough to talk, he knows : it was a fight he couldn't win. not this time. ]
❛ this is my shit to deal with, and i - i have it handled. ❜ his aching hand reaches to wipe away at the string of salt water down his face, grimacing at its texture. ❛ don't treat me like i haven't. ❜