It is here that I will briefly pause the story to talk about, ironically, interrupting things. There are times when interrupting something is a very smart move – such as interrupting a dinner party because you have discovered that the food is filled with deadly poison that will kill the guests as soon as they take a bite. However, there are times when interrupting something is about the worst thing you can do, and this, I’m sorry to say, was one of those times. Had Cosette not interrupted Tholomyès as she is about to, she would perhaps have saved herself a lot of grief later on. Unfortunately, she did interrupt him, and as a result we will never know how things would have played out otherwise.
The reader will, naturally, have heard of something called the ‘anti-vax’ movement. If you have not, I will explain it to you now, as it’s an important part of the metaphor I’m about to use. The ‘anti-vax’ movement is a group of people who are under the belief that the vaccinations for such horrible diseases as Polio and Measles and Tuberculosis will cause their children to develop autism. They are, of course, wrong, as many studies have proven, and are also prejudiced against autistic people – who are simply normal people whose minds work slightly differently to the visible majority. By refusing to vaccinate your child, you not only risk your beloved offspring dying from Scarlet Fever before their tenth birthday, you also risk them transmitting diseases to immuno-compromised people who rely on herd immunity to stay healthy because they can’t have a vaccine due to a naturally weak immune system.
This was exactly what happened when King Terredor of Andros refused to inform other planets about the threat from Tholomyès. In not wanting to appear foolish, he had denied the other worlds the chance to band together in an alliance against the Warlock, meaning some worlds (such as poor Resortia) were left with no chance at all to defend themselves from him. Even an un-warned army can put up a good fight, but if there is no army in the first place… you are most likely well and truly screwed.
Another problem with no one knowing about an unvaccinated disease is that your body might think it is friendly at first – and so might you, because you don’t know what it is capable of. The same holds true for most things; if you had never seen a lion before, you might think it is a huge, fluffy kitty waiting to be petted, and you would find out the hard way that a lion is quite capable of tearing you limb from limb. And such was the case with Félix Tholomyès and the rather unpleasant young lady he paid a visit to that evening, who had no idea what he was truly capable of and listened to what he had to say with an open and unpleasant mind. When he arrived, he had no idea of just how unpleasant she could be – but you, my dear readers, already know very well…
“Let’s just have one last toast in your honour.” She offered him one of the drinks she was holding, and he thought, well, one drink won’t hurt.
The Head Guard, however, had been appointed Head Guard for a reason, and it was up to him, he decided, to take initiative here.
I feel like you should all know that on occasion I become briefly possessed by Lemony Snicket while writing TWOTF.
