otherguide asked: jean + why she puts up with patrick so much
send me a topic to write a meta about my muse on. / if i ever stop accepting this meme just assume i died.
i haven’t read the novel in a long, long time. but i do remember it consistently refers to her as jean, my secretary who is in love with me, and that’s… true. while you can argue that she only loves an idea of him ( which is true, she doesn’t have a single clue about the ‘real’ patrick ), she thinks she knows him and thinks his air of mystery isn’t hiding something malicious but rather something sweet. you can hear this in ‘a nice thought’. jean thinks patrick has something that sets him aside from the other egotistical narcissists in this community but she doesn’t know what it is. and having feelings for him, she wants to believe it’s something very good-hearted and wants to bring that out in him.
jean’s such a sad case because making less money and being so humble and family-oriented, she does get kicked around a lot. not just by other people at p&p but also by him. i think she can tell when he’s making a low blow but tries to make the best of it or make light of it. “you’re prettier than that” / “thanks for the compliment, patrick”. and she’s very obedient of it too considering when she comes in with long pants and shoes, he specifically states she should wear a skirt and heels because he likes that. and she does it! and she gets complimented on it, and that’s her validation. her progress. that’s her little glimmer of hope for something good to come and her feelings to maybe not be so hopeless, even though he’s being blatantly superficial.
it’s a very, very unhealthy case no doubt even without the aspect of patrick being a murderer simply because she’s only choosing to see what she wants to see. and it’s not in a way that’s selfish or rude, it’s trying to ignore remarks made at her expense. she’d love to know more about him beyond them because she doesn’t know what more would end up entailing. she has a very, very kind heart and is generous and honest to her core, and that can result in her being a bit of a push-over with patrick, even if he is shown to care sometimes in his ‘own way’.