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Dog Café Double Date: an Epic Novella

Hey everyone! Back again with another funtastic collab with @writingforfishes! Thank you again for collaborating with me on a sequel story of sorts. This one is particularly long, just sitting around 28k words, but there's a little surprise at the end. Today's characters are Dorian, Tele.machus, Atticus, Otto, Artemia, Herman, and Dennis.

CW: Hiccups, Fast hiccups, Hard hiccups, Loud hiccups, Hiccups that need to be cured, Hiccups that return, Two cases at once, Multiple cases from multiple people, Disgusting amount of fluff, General amount of angst, So. Many. Puns., Mention of PTSD, Mention of alcoholism, Trauma dumping session, Mention of arousal, Mention of death, Implication of masturbation, but nothing explicitly shown, Over 28k words, Seriously, this thing is long., Otto is a dad., Atticus is an uncle., They both are not qualified for this., Just two wordy writers enjoying writing and also hiccups.

Thank you once again for the collab @writingforfishes, it was a ton of fun! Also, sorry that the formatting is a little wonky at the end. Kinda...ran out of room, haha

And without further ado, we present to you, our novella under the keep reading link. Enjoy!

First Year, Second Semester, Week 13

It was the beginning of May and with the weather finally breaking from the constant downpour of rain, Tele.machus knew it was time for his surprise for Dorian. He was waiting for the perfect day to take them out to the dog café he'd mentioned to Otto.

Speaking of Otto, he couldn't help but wonder how he'd been doing. With finals week coming up, he'd been preoccupied with his studies to have much free time for conversation. He hoped he was doing well, regardless.

“...babe? Babe?” Dorian called as they waved his hand in front of Tele.machus’ face.

“Huh?” Tel blinked, shaking out of his thoughts. Noticing the light was green, he put his foot on the gas slowly, “sorry, sorry, was stuck in thought. What's up?”

“Where are you taking me again?” Dorian asked with a slight chuckle, turning to look at their boyfriend.

Tele.machus chuckled, “what's the point of a surprise if I tell you what it is?”

“I'll still be excited, promise,” Dorian told him.

“Well, you'd better keep up that excitement, cuz we're here!”

Tele.machus pulled into the parking lot of a strip mall, but admittedly closer to a café called The Barking Bean. Dorian looked at the sign that was decorated with coffee beans and paw prints. “What is this place?” Their curiosity piqued.

“Come on!” Tele.machus squealed and bounced in his seat as he cut the car off, “it's better if I just show you!”

Dorian chuckled and nodded, “fine fine, cutie, you win, let's go inside.”

The two of them got out of the car and once Tele.machus hurried over to Dorian to hold his hand, the two walked over to the entrance and made it inside, the faint sound of barking reaching their eardrums.

“Hello, welcome to The Barking Bean!” The hostess/owner with Artemia she/her on her name tag, smiled at them, “can I get you two sanitized and seated?”

Tele.machus beamed and nodded, “yes please!”

Artemia brought out some hand sanitizer, squirting a bit into both of their hands before grabbing two menus and a questionnaire and leading them to a booth.

The two had finished sanitizing their hands by the time they reached the table. They sat down across from each other, thanking Artemia before looking at the paper.

“What kind of dogs are you- wait, dogs?” Dorian tilted their head confusedly.

“We're at a dog café!” Tele.machus excitedly spilled the beans—pun intended. “It's basically the dog version of a cat café!”

Dorian's eyes widened, “that's a thing?! Oh my gosh, that's so stinking cute!”

Tele.machus giggled and reached for his hand, Dorian easily accepting it. “I thought it would be a cute idea. Cuz I know you like dogs and I love dogs. Plus, I wanna try their coffee! I heard it was really really good.”

“Well then, let's fill out this questionnaire so we can dine with some dogs, yeah?” Dorian smirked playfully.

Tele.machus beamed and nodded as the two of them started answering the questionnaire.

Otto and Atticus walked into the café not even a minute after the other couple had been seated. As it happened, Otto’s back was to Dorian and Tele.machus as they were sat down and given the questionnaire.

“You are really excited about this,” Atty mentioned as they watched their husbands knee bounce.

“Man,” Otto said, excited. “I am gonna pet so many dogs.” He bit his lip and grinned.

“And I am going to take so many pictures of your dorky ass,” they laughed.

Otto just grinned some more before leaning over the piece of paper. Atticus had given Otto free reign with whatever he wanted. They weren’t a dog person, in particular, but they were a seeing-Otto-giddy-and-happy person. It may have been their birthday this month, but when Otto brought up that he’d been meaning to go to this place, they easily agreed.

Otto, for his part, had completely forgotten about the café after meaning to visit but never making a plan. It was dumb luck that Atticus had asked if there were any new cafés to explore and Tele.machus’ mention of this place had sprung into his mind immediately.

He heard Atty sigh dreamily and looked up briefly from his excited box ticking.

“You excited, too?” Otto asked.

“No,” Atticus answered automatically and then stuttered a little, “I mean, yes. Yeah. It’ll be cool to see how dog hair tastes with coffee, but no, I was just seeing this couple behind you. Sweet baby queer love. So cute…”

Otto perked up and glanced back. He gave a little gasp.

“Hey…hey, Tele.machus? Is that you, man?” he said with a wave as he finally spotted them both.

Atticus’ eyes widened. Tele.machus? they thought. Oh, Tele.machus, they remembered.

Tele.machus heard his name being called and he furrowed his brow confused before looking up and spotting Otto. His eyes widened in familiarity and his smile reached his eyes. He excitedly nodded.

“Oh my gosh! Otto! What an unexpected surprise!” Tele.machus got up from his seat and headed over to their table.

“It's so good to see you!” He continued. "I'm really sorry I haven't really been able to text you much, school, amirite?” He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

Dorian raised an eyebrow curiously at their boyfriend's reaction. ‘Otto? How does he know- ohh, wait, that's the watch guy!’ Dorian recalled, glancing at his watch, admiring it for a bit before they stood up to introduce himself.

Standing next to Tele.machus, they wrapped an arm around his waist, making the boy blush, “so you're the guy responsible for this beauty, eh?” He smirked playfully, holding up the arm that was wearing the watch. “Your talent knows no bounds, dude, thank you so much. It's absolutely beautiful!”

Dorian also smiled at Atticus, waving at them, “and hello to you too.”

Tele.machus blinked and noticed Atticus as well and nodded, waving at well, “yes, yes, hello, you must be the infamous Atticus?”

“I’m…infamous? Well that’s not daunting to uphold at all,” Atty said, giving a pointed look to Otto. They gave Tele.machus a smile and nod.

Otto cleared his throat a little as he rubbed the back of his neck, unknowingly mimicking Tele.machus’ earlier sheepishness.

“Yeah, and no! Don’t worry about it, kiddo,” he added to Tele.machus as he stood. “School takes priority. And, uh, nice to finally meet you, Dorian, right? I’m glad you like it! Looks good on you!” Then he sort of fumbled, wondering why he stood in the first place as now he was towering over both of them. At least that was his impression.

“Yeah, I'm Dor…” Dorian trailed off as their jaw dropped slightly at Otto's height, “whoa…Telly, you said he was tall, but I didn't think he was that tall.”

Otto was about to respond when the two started just about the cutest flirting he’d seen in a while. He, unconsciously, hunched a little, though.

Tele.machus chuckled, “nah, you're just a shortie is all.” He joked with them, ruffling their hair.

Dorian scoffed, “hey! I'm average height!”

“And that's all you're average in, sweetie,” Tele.machus flirted and kissed their forehead.

“Babe, you really wanna do all of this flirting in front of company?~” Dorian smirked as they reminded him.

Tele.machus blushed profusely, “right, you're right!”

“Awww, you're so easy to tease,” Dorian chuckled and kissed his cheek before turning to Otto and Atticus, “just to be clear, does PDA make you uncomfy?”

“Nah!” Atticus said as they came around to Otto’s side and leaned into him a little as if sensing the sudden nervousness. It was, after all, a very odd introduction situation.

“We’ll probably out-PDA you cuties anyway,” Atty added as Otto rolled his eyes a little.

Dorian smirked playfully, “is that a challenge?~”

“Dori, behave,” Tele.machus pinched the bridge of his nose.

Atty knew Otto had talked to Tele.machus about the whole kink thing. Tele.machus knew, as far as the writer was told, that Atty had the kink thing. But further than that, Atticus had no idea what Dorian knew. They assumed Otto was in the same situation.

But, of course, that didn’t have to be the focus. After all, this was just two people meeting unexpectedly in a café after previously meeting and introducing their significant others. Ignoring, of course, how long it had been since Otto had contracted a considerable case of hiccups. Because if Atticus started thinking of that possibility, they wouldn’t get out of this alive!

“It’s nice to meet you, Dorian,” they said. “I helped design that watch. Atticus, they/them.”

Atty held out their hand to Dorian as they felt Otto’s hand on their shoulder as if grounding himself from all of his excitement at the dogs and now meeting back up with the young guy and his boyfriend who’d made such an impact on him (and themselves) a few months ago.

Dorian smiled warmly, and took their hand, shaking it, “I'm Dorian, they/he. Pleasure to meet you. And you've got a talent of your own in design, eh?”

Tele.machus smiled, just excited to be there with Otto and getting to meet Atticus. He never imagined they'd meet up again like this. Then again, he did introduce Otto to this place.

And now, he was here with people who understood him, part of the queer community as well as sharing his hiccup kink. Tele.machus hadn't told Dorian about Atticus’ kink, not exactly. Dorian hadn't asked, so he never told. He just mentioned that there were other people out there who shared their kink.

“Nah,” Atticus answered Dorian with a hand wave. “I just reassured Otto about his design decisions, honestly. But it sounds a lot better when I say I helped design it than I just reassured him he’s actually really good at his job.”

“Um,” Otto challenged with a raised finger, “not true? You’re the one who came up with the idea of the crystals going around the bezel in the first place. So. Not getting out of a compliment that easily.”

“Aaah,” Atty answered, waving it off again. “You woulda gotten there eventually.”

Dorian nodded their head, “well, regardless, thank you, both of you.” They smiled sweetly.

Tele.machus glanced at Atticus curiously, “so, Atticus, um…” he wanted to get to know them a bit, but was blanking on a question to ask them, “...oh, since we're at a dog café, keeping it on brand, what's your favorite dog breed?”

The writer then looked relieved as Tele.machus changed the topic. The feeling of being complimented was causing them to squirm. They could deal with teasing or joking or even deep conversations. But genuine compliments made them feel as if they had to zig zag like running away from an alligator or something.

“Dogs! The-yeah-they come in breeds. Like kinds of them,” Atticus said brightly. They knew very little about dogs. “Uuuummm-pssshhhhh. I like the ones that aren’t bigger than me and don’t drip out of their mouths too much. Uh, a friend of my mom’s had one of those…uh…sausage dogs?”

“Dachshund,” Otto supplied helpfully.

“Yeah! That was a cool dog. Oh, and the one with the big head that everyone thinks is a bad dog but is actually a really sweet dog…”

“Pitbull,” Otto said.

“Yeah! I like the pitbull too! Um…what about you all?” Atticus said, trying to throw the attention back off of them.

“Oh my gosh, you're so right,” Tele.machus gasped, “pitbulls are so stereotyped, it's so sad. Pits deserve all of the love. And their puppies are sooo cute! Fun fact, they're known to be friendly, loyal, affectionate dogs who are eager to please.” He cleared his throat before continuing, “but my favorite has gotta be the poodle. They're such pretty dogs and they have such elegance about them. But golden retrievers have a special place in my heart, mainly cuz I have one at home.” Tele.machus chuckled softly.

“Oh! I was gonna say that! That! I like a standard poodle. Not the little ones, but the big ones, y’know? They’re so damn smart! And loyal as hell!” Otto interjected.

“Aww, but the little ones are sooo cute too,” Tele.machus added. “My neighbor had a Toy Poodle and he was the sweetest little guy. The most well-behaved dog I've ever seen in my life.” He chuckled.

“Those are all great dogs, however German Shepherds are cool too,” Dorian added. “If I were to be able to convince my dad to get a dog, it'd be a German Shepherd. Though, on the subject of dogs. Telly, have you finished that questionnaire so we can meet some dogs?”

Tele.machus’ eyes widened and he shook his head, “sorry, I was almost done, but then I, uh, got distracted, hehe.” He then turned to look at Otto, “did you guys fill out yours yet? They have all sorts of cute breeds here from what I've seen on the page.”

“Otto?” Atticus prompted.

“Hm? Oh right! Yeah! I was…lemme finish that! I actually really hope they have some mutts. I love a mutt more than a breed, usually,” he babbled as he continued to checkmark pretty much everything. “Our friends, Cindy and Margie, recently got a rescue dog.”

Tele.machus smiled and nodded before grabbing his own paper, “yeah, they have all sorts of dogs! Rescues, breeds, mutts, big, medium, small! And there's even an option to adopt! I really wish we could adopt one…” he looked at Dorian pointedly.

“You know the campus won't allow dogs in the dorms,” Dorian kissed his forehead.

“True…” Tele.machus slumped and went on to continue checking all of the boxes. “But getting a rescue dog? What kind of rescue dog?”

“She’s enormous,” Atty added. “Big giant shaggy dog with long legs and a big hairy tail. Like, I’m pretty sure she’s a mix between a Great Dane and a shower loofah.”

Otto laughed as he hunched over the paper.

“That’s actually really accurate!” Otto exclaimed. “They named her Hedwig.”

“Not after the transphobic book owl but from Hedwig and the Angry Inch,” Atticus added.

Tele.machus cringed at the mention of the transphobic book that he'd spent his entire teenage years hyperfixated on. He would never get that money back…

Dorian tilted their head, “what's Hedwig and the Angry Inch?”

Atty was leaning on Otto now, their head on top of his and their arm crossing his chest as he wrote.

As an aside, Otto commented to them, “I can’t believe you knew Great Dane but not Pitbull.”

Atty shrugged, “Scoo.by Doo was a Great Dane. Of course I’m gonna know that.”

They rubbed his chest as he smirked.

Tele.machus watched the two of them and smiled at their adorableness. “Oh, completely forgot to ask the main first question you ask when you first see someone you haven't seen in a while. Geez, where's my head at today? Anyway, uh…how’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know. Been doing okay! Fixing clocks and watches and Atti–” Otto started.

“What’s Hedwig and the Angry Inch?!” Atticus exclaimed, interrupting their husband. “Only the most formable movie of my young life. John Cameron Mitchell playing the most iconic queer trans figure in queer film history! A rock opera that started as an off-Broadway production and migrated to the screen in a gorgeous technicolor splash of identity, trauma, and comedy?! Oh, my old gay heart can’t take it!”

Tele.machus’ eyes sparkled with interest. He loved any type of theater. He was even in the theater club in high school. He'd even considered going to college professionally for theater to be an actor, but he realized even though it was fun onstage during high school, he much rather preferred to watch performances.

Otto looked up, sheepishly. Atticus’ fingers bore into his shoulders and he winced a little.

“I only saw it a few years ago. It’s…ow, sweetie, can you let up a little on the…fingers?” Otto asked.

Atticus let go, a little embarrassed and patted Otto’s shoulders gently with a clearing of their throat.

“Anyway,” Otto said as he leaned up a little into Atty’s chest and smiled up at them. “It’s a good movie. Great music. There’s a song called Origin of Love inspired by Plato’s Symposium. It’s based on Aristophanes’ theories who, interestingly enough, during the discussion with other philosophers on where love originated, requested to be skipped because of an untimely case of hiccups! The other songs are great too. Lots of catharsis. Love the costumes.”

“That's right up Telly's alley,” Dorian chuckled and nudged Tele.machus gently.

“Hey, I-...can't say that you're wrong,” Tele.machus scratched the back of his neck and shrugged.

“He used to show me the musicals and plays he was a part of in high school,” Dorian continued and hugged Tele.machus from the side. “He was really talented.”

“Ohhh, stop,” Tele.machus rolled his eyes and blushed, “it was just for fun-”

“Doesn't invalidate the fact that you are talented,” Dorian smiled and booped his nose.

Tele.machus chuckled and smiled back at them, “if you say so.”

“Oh babe, I know so,” Dorian smirked and went on their tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek.

Atticus cuddled their head on Otto’s a little more when he mentioned hiccups. Then they chuckled.

“I’ve almost convinced Otto to go as Hedwig one year for Halloween,” Atty said.

“Emphasis on almost,” Otto said with a finger raised. “Okay, so I’ve finished this. Do we just give it to…the host or…”

Otto raised the paper and looked around.

“Oh, yeah! I can go get her,” Dorian offered before heading over to the host station.

Tele.machus watched him go with a fond, lovesick grin.

“Oh dude,” Atticus mentioned at the sight of Tele.machus’ face. They grinned. “You’ve got it bad.”

Tele.machus startled and blushed, chuckling sheepishly, “y-yeah…I know, hehe. After pining for so long, I still can't believe they're mine…” He rubbed his arm.

“I’m really glad everything worked out, kid,” Otto added as he rubbed Atty’s arm. “Thank you for keeping me in the loop about that.”

Tele.machus had kept his word and texted Otto to update him when he admitted to Dorian his attraction to him.

“Hey, um,” Atticus said to Tele.machus, watching tentatively while Dorian talked to the host, “real quick, man. How…how much does Dorian know about…about our…thing?”

Tele.machus turned to Atticus and blinked, blushing slightly, “oh, um…they know that I have it, but I-I didn't tell them about yours, I promise. I didn't know if it was okay to tell them, so, uh…I didn't mention it.” He fidgeted with his fingernails, “but, um, I promise, they're really cool about it and everything.” He failed to mention just how cool Dorian was about it, considering they also had the ‘thing.’

“Proud of you, Tele.machus,” Otto said. “I know that was something you were sort of dreading. Glad it worked out okay.

Tele.machus smiled and scratched his head, “thanks, Otto. It was definitely up there on one of the scariest things I've ever done. But…you were right.” He glanced back over to his partner, who shot him a smile and a wave. Waving back, he continued, “sharing that honesty with them definitely brought us closer.”

“At least you got it out before you started the relationship,” Atticus added.

“Hey, I think we worked out pretty well,” Otto said.

Atty rubbed the back of his neck fondly.

“Yeah, well,” they said, “you played a pretty big part in that. You just accepted you had a weirdo living in your house.”

“Eh, I think we both play our weirdo roles,” he responded with a smile. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Ew gross, you’re so sweet. Ugh!” Atticus said with a fake gag.

Tele.machus chuckled at the two of them, smiling and hoping that would be him and Dorian someday.

After some time Dorian returned with Artemia, “apologies, someone was making a reservation for later. Are you guys…sitting separately or together?”

“Together,” Otto and Atticus said simultaneously.

“If that’s cool with you two,” Otto added.

Tele.machus lit up, “heck yeah! That's definitely cool with us! I would've asked earlier, but I didn't wanna impose.” He brushed his hair back.

Dorian smiled and nodded, “I think we pretty much answered the same things, anyway.”

Artemia smiled, “awesome, I'll just take those questionnaires from you. And while you're waiting, would you like to order any coffee or something from our bakery?”

Tele.machus handed her his and Dorian’s questionnaire sheets, “oh, I…haven't actually looked at the menu yet, hehe.”

“Same here,” Dorian shrugged.

“Menu, right,” Otto said as Atticus handed the questionnaire to Artemia explaining that it was for both of them.

“That's perfectly fine, take your time ordering,” Artemia smiled, “I'll be right here if you have any questions.”

Otto nodded before looking back down at the menu as Atticus resumed their position, standing with their head on top of his head as he remained sitting at the table and squinting at the menu in his hands.

Tele.machus chuckled and nodded, “sure thing.” He sat down and looked over the menu.

Dorian sat down next to him, resting a head on his shoulder, also looking at the menu, pointing at the chocolate chip muffin and the iced mocha latte, “oooh, I want a Chocolate Chip Ruffin Muffin with the Iced Mocha Paw-tte, Telly. I'm assuming it's a latte?”

Artemia chuckled and nodded, “you'd assume correctly.”

Tele.machus looked at what they were pointing to and nodded, “oh, that does sound good…I'm thinking of just getting an iced coffee and a Blueberry Ruffin Muffin.”

Artemia nodded and wrote down their requests, “alright, and for you two?” She turned to Otto and Atticus with a kind smile.

“Aw, man. Usually I just get a pour over but these drinks look really fun. Oh look, Atty! Some of them are named after dogs!” Otto said excitedly.

“Okay, well, what about I get one of the dog drinks and you get your pour over and you can share mine? You know I don’t finish them anyway,” they compromised. “Which one d’you want?”

“Um,” Otto took a moment squinting and then sighed before bringing out his readers from his breast pocket. “Okay. Yeah. Ooh…oh that looks fun. Mmm…”

Atticus mouthed ‘sorry’ to Artemia with a smile.

Artemia continued to smile kindly, mouthing an ‘all good’ back to them, waiting patiently. She honestly didn't mind guests taking their time with ordering. Satisfaction was her top priority.

“Oh! Okay, yeah!” Otto finally said. “The Choco Spaniel Mocha!”

“Ooh, yeah, I like that,” Atty confirmed. “Can I get that iced with almond milk? And he’ll get the pour over, right?”

Otto nodded below Atticus’ head.

“Alright,” Artemia wrote it down, “anything else?”

“You want coffee cake?” Otto asked as he looked up at them.

“Ooh, yeah,” Atticus said excitedly. “Can…can you warm that up? Just one with two forks, right?”

“Certainly can do, lovebirds,” Artemia smiled and wrote it down.

“Yeah,” Otto said with a bit of disappointment. “I can’t be trusted with sugar.”

“Neither of us can,” Atticus said with a meaningful look as they handed the menu back to the host.

Artemia giggled quietly and took the menus, “understandable, my twin may have had way too many cavities in his lifetime. But I'll get everything situated. You four are free to head in through those double doors and sit anywhere you'd like. Dennis will come by with some of our awesome pups for you guys to meet.” And she headed towards the back with the menu and the questionnaire forms.

Otto immediately shot up to go through the doors, sending a gasping Atticus skittering back before his head knocked them unconscious.

“Okay!” Atticus exclaimed with their hands up.

“Sorry…I ju-you know-dogs!” Otto explained with a sputter.

Tele.machus smiled, “thank you!” He chuckled and bounced, looking at Dorian, “come on!”

Dorian giggled, “hmmm, I dunno, I'm kinda comfy right here…” They lay their head more on Tele.machus’ shoulder.

“But Doriiii, we gotta get to the puppies!” Telemachus pouted, gently pushing them off of him.

“Oh you wound me so,” Dorian placed the back of their hand on their forehead dramatically before flopping onto Tele.machus’ lap, “puppies are more important than your precious, adorable, lovely partner?”

Tele.machus rolled his eyes and poked their stomach, making them twitch, squeak, and scoot away from him, “of course not, you goober. But we gotta go find the perfect seat.”

“Fine,” Dorian relented and stood up from the booth, holding out their hand to his boyfriend, who easily took it and stood up. “But only because I don't want to make the other two lovebirds wait too long.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure we’re gonna need a leash for Otto,” Atticus said.

“You know, I am feeling very attacked right now for being the exact right amount of excited someone should be for meeting dogs while drinking coffee and eating baked goods,” Otto said. “But as adorable as you two are, you can cuddle and PDA all you want on the other side of the double doors, yeah?”

Otto looked at everyone with wide eyes and his hands clasped together eagerly.

Tele.machus beamed at Otto's excitement, easily feeding off of it, “Otto is right! There are so many dogs that need to be pet! We must save them!” He then puffed out his chest and pointed to the doors in a superhero pose before continuing, “onward, comrades, through the double doors of destiny!” He then headed towards the double doors very quickly.

Dorian blinked and held their forehead, chuckling quietly. “This guy…can't take him anywhere.”

He stared at his excited stimming–bouncing his arms up and down, jogging in place as they watched him look for the perfect seat–and sighed lovingly. “He's lucky he's so dang cute.”

Atticus watched Otto right on Tele.machus’ heels. The clockmaker’s head was on a swivel as if expecting the dogs to show up at any moment even though they had all specifically been told they would be brought out by hand.

Atticus, walking at more of Dorian’s speed, nodded emphatically.

“Tell me about it,” they said with a laugh and a shake of their head. “Think it’s the height. Their heads are in a thinner oxygen environment most of the time.”

Atty winked to let their companion know they were joking lest the writer be seen as insensitive to the hyperactivity of both of their partners and the neurodivergence that encouraged it.

Dorian chuckled, “you might be onto something there. Telly's head is always in the clouds. He's such a dreamer…who's also dreamy.”

“Aww,” Atticus responded while sparing a look at their adorable husband as he turned to them briefly with wide eyes and a wide smile, an expression that was rarely given with such abandon. “Yeah.”

They trailed behind as Tele.machus waved them over, seeming to find the perfect table for everyone.

Otto sat down on the edge of one of the seats, knees bouncing as he bit his lip. Atticus had rarely seen the man so animated and anticipatory.

“So, how does this work?” Otto asked. “Do we get the food and coffee first or…or do the dogs come first? Or…?”

“I don't know, this is my first time here,” Tele.machus shrugged, his knees also bouncing with excitement. He squealed and rocked back and forth, “oh the anticipation is killing meeee!”

Dorian chuckled softly and ruffled his hair before sitting next to him, “I'm guessing they'll bring out the food and coffee first. Get that part out of the way before chaos reigns with a total of two to three dogs as I recall us checking off?”

As Dorian had guessed, their food was delivered by a masc-presenting person with their hair tied back, green eyes, and enough freckles to spare. His name tag read Herman, any pronouns.

“Hello dawlings,” he greeted with a dazzling smile that showed off their diastema (gap tooth), “I know I'm not here delivering your doggies, tragedy really, but I have the next best thing! Your food and drinks!”

“Wow, that was fast!” Otto commented, especially impressive for a pour over which he felt like he’d just ordered.

“Well,” Herman drawled with their eyes sliding to where Artemia was standing in anticipation of any other customers to check-in before looking back to Otto and dipping out of his louder voice. “The truth is we’ve been so slow today and over-staffed that your drink orders were the remedy to our boredom. Don’t tell Artemia we’re bored, though. She’ll set all of us off on some cleaning project and–” Herman scoffed, “–with dogs, well, you can imagine.”

“Understood!” Otto said with a smirking nod.

“Also, I’m really good at my job!” the barista said louder, pulling her face into another bright grin.

Artemia heard the boasting and just smiled, shaking her head amused.

Herman handed an iced coffee and muffin to Telemachus.

Tele.machus chuckled softly, smiling, “thank you.”

“Oh, no need to thank me, friend,” he winked before giving everyone their orders as they called out the items. “Dennis will be out shortly with your lovely animal companions soon!”

“Do you know which dogs we'll be seeing?” Dorian asked curiously.

Herman stroked his chin before smirking, “honestly? I do, will I tell you? Mmmm, I think it better to keep it a surprise, don't you agree?”

Tele.machus groaned, “nooo, the suspense is killing me…literally.”

“Oh, don't fret, dawling, they'll be out sooner than later,” they winked and bid them farewell with maniacal laughter as some might say.

“I really liked their winged eyeliner,” Atticus commented to Otto.

“Mm,” Otto said as he dug a fork into the coffee cake. “Mmhm.”

“You didn’t notice the eyeliner at all did you?” Atty said.

Otto shook his head sheepishly. Otto’s focus was purely on the potential for dogs at any moment. Atticus chuckled.

“More waiting,” Tele.machus slumped impatiently.

“Don't worry, babe, you can do it,” Dorian cheered him on, wrapping an arm around him. “You're an expert at waiting.”

Considering he'd waited 20 years to meet his father, Tele.machus looked at Dorian knowingly, “I know what you're referring to and that's totally different.”

“What are you referring to?” Atticus asked automatically, then mentally smacked themselves in the forehead. “A question of which you absolutely do not have to answer! Sorry!”

Tele.machus shrugged, “it's alright. Um, my dad had gone to fight in some war when I was a baby and he finally returned home this year around March when it was Spring Break. His ended up being in a shipwreck apparently and it took him ten years to travel back home to us.”

Otto brought his coffee up to his mouth while listening with interest. His eyebrows raised in surprise. Even though the kid hadn’t told him details about his dad, when Telemachus was picking up Dorian’s watch he knew it had been a sensitive subject.

“Jeez!” Atticus said under their breath.

Dorian rubbed his back comfortingly as he continued, “it was hard on my mom and I…the anxiety of not knowing whether he was coming back or…” Tele.machus bit his lip, not finishing his sentence.

He took a deep breath and blinked, fixing his face into a small smile. “But now he's back and I've been getting to know him and he's really cool.”

“That’s great, kiddo. I’m really glad you’re getting a chance to reconnect with him, man, seriously,” Otto said as he patted him on the arm briefly.

Tele.machus smiled at the comfort provided by his partner and his friend–or father figure as he himself might suggest.

Once his story of his dad's return was finished, he ate a forkful of his muffin right before the back doors swung open and another masc-presenting person with stubble sporting long purple hair with shaved sides styled in a ponytail, purple eyes, gold nose ring, gold eyebrow ring, and other piercings in their ears ran out with an energetic mini copper-colored Cockapoo, an excited Pitbull puppy, and a calmer, elder Saint Bernard. His name tag read Dennis, any pronouns.

“I see you four are the only ones here, so~” Dennis goes to the table.

The mini Cockapoo automatically headed for Tele.machus while the Pitbull puppy went straight for Otto and Atticus, both of their tails wagging excitedly. The Saint Bernard just took his time, sitting at the end of the table calmly.

Otto swallowed his coffee in a gulp, hot liquid he probably should’ve waited before consuming rushing down his throat as the adorable big-headed dog put his paws on his leg, tail wagging so hard the puppy’s entire body shook.

Atticus noticed immediately when Otto’s body started to convulse in a tell-tale sign of hiccups. But the clockmaker had yet to realize his diaphragm’s mischief. As a result, Atty felt it best to try to ignore it, at least at first.

“Hellooo, sweetie!” Atty crooned to the dog.

Tele.machus gasped and quickly swallowed his bite of muffin, instantly petting the Cockapoo. His voice went an entire octave higher in his dog-speaking voice, “oh my gosh, hiiiii, look at you, so cute and precious!”

Dorian chuckled and smiled at Tele.machus' excitement, as well as all of the cute dogs that were brought out. They looked up at Dennis, smiling, “hi, first off, love your style! Second, do these fur babies have names?”

Dennis smiled as they'd tied the leashes to the poles on the sides of the chairs, “well thank you, cutie! I love yours too! And yes, the Cockapoo, her name's Copper, I'm sure you could guess why. Pitbull's name is Pitt, yeah, I know, cheesy. And the Saint Bernard is named Reginald, but we just call him Reggie.”

Otto smiled at the names, still not completely realizing his body’s actions.

“Aw Pi-Hip!-Pitt!” he said with a grin and then put a hand on his chest discovering his hiccups finally. Then the dog panted in his face and he bent down to receive kisses.

“Hii-Hi’ulp!-iii!” Otto continued to talk to the dog as he scratched the puppy’s sides and butt, when it’s offered enthusiastically. “Haha-Hurp!-you li–ike that do-Hup!-don’t y–you?”

And now Atticus was torn between petting Otto and giving attention to the dog. For now, they decided to give all attention to the dog to compensate.

“Hey babyyy,” Atty said as they were whipped with Pitt’s heavy tail.

Tele.machus instantly noticed Otto's hiccuping, but Copper was taking up most of Tele.machus’ attention. Though Dorian also noticed as they sipped their latte. They snuck glances at Otto, getting lost in their mind.

So lost in thought that they'd ended up choking in shock when his boyfriend tapped their shoulder and the liquid they'd swallowed went down the wrong pipe. Tele.machus seemed not to notice as he squealed, “Dori, you gotta pet Copper! She's sooooo fluffy!”

Only because Atticus had been so encompassed by their husband’s hiccups had the writer even noticed Dorian’s interest. And they weren’t even sure if it was an interest-interest (in the same way hiccups were an interest to them), but in between the stimulus of the dog and the spasms in Otto’s body, they thought they’d seen Dorian’s stolen looks. So, when the college kid started choking they widened their eyes.

“Whoa, man. Breathe!” they called.

Otto looked up.

“You o-Kmp!-okay?” he asked.

“Telly-” Dorian covered their mouth as they coughed again.

Tele.machus looked at Dorian, finally registering that they were choking, and promptly patted their back, “shi-oot, sorry, you good?”

Dorian nodded, coughing before he'd jolted strongly from a strong silent hiccup. Their eyes widened a bit, “um…yeah, I'm goo-hu'up!-good.”

“Oh man,” Atticus muttered as they looked down at their lap from Dorian’s involuntary jerking.

Tele.machus looked at Dorian in shock, “Seriously? Both of you?”

Otto stole a look to his spouse and then Dorian and opened his mouth, shocked, in a loud, “HU’AUP!” before closing it again, tightly, and putting a hand on Atticus’ shoulder as they reached for their beverage hoping to induce brain-freeze as they sucked the cold mocha down.

“It's your HERK! your fau-HAUP!-fault for ma—aking me cho-holk!-choke, Tel,” Dorian covered their mouth.

“Sorry,” Tele.machus looked at them sheepishly before kissing their cheek, keeping a hand on their back, whispering in his ear, “you can cure them if you want. Don't want you to be uncomfortable or embarrassed.”

Dorian shrugged, “m-MMK!-meh, I'll be HIP!HILK! alright, you?”

Tele.machus nodded, “I'm good for now, focusing mostly on the dogs- speaking of, here.” He took Copper off of his lap and handed her to Dorian. “Pet her, she's so soft. I'm gonna give Reggie some lovings.”

Otto took a moment as Pitt played tug-of-war with his leash and Otto’s hold on it to bend down to Atticus.

“Hey bu–ud you Hrmp! You go–ood?” he asked.

Atty took a moment to revel in the sound of Otto’s breath sucking in and the movement of his head as it jerked back in trying to bend down to their height while sitting and took a breath. They nodded.

It certainly was a lot of stimuli to deal with and rarely, if ever, had they been in the presence of two people hiccuping at the same time. But the dogs were helpful. The drink and food was helpful. A reminder of Dorian’s age was helpful. And having Otto be sensitive to them and their reaction instead of making fun of it was extremely helpful.

“You were kind of due,” Atty admitted. They looked up and frowned.

“Wha-Huck!?” Otto asked as he innocently jammed another forkful of coffee cake in his mouth.

Bread made Otto’s hiccups worse, once he had them. Atticus caught a smile on his lips and realized that even though he was being sensitive to their awkward situation he was also not above slight teasing as he swallowed the cake in an almost haughty-like fashion and smiled through soft, acutely rapid, muffled hiccups.

The truth of the matter was it hadn’t even occurred to Otto about cake worsening his hiccups until Atty had given him that look. He’d just really wanted more of the coffee cake and, remembering the effect it would have, he was willing to bear the consequences.

“Reggie,” Tele.machus whistled, “come and get some pets, dear.”

At the sound of his name, Reginald looked at Tele.machus and planted his head on his lap, giving him his best puppy dog eyes. “Awwww, you don't have to give me those, cutie! You automatically deserve them.”

Tele.machus planted his whole face in the fluffy fur of Reginald, stroking his back, “awww, you're such a softie too.”

Dorian smiled and gently pet Copper, trying to keep their lips sealed tightly. Though, in doing so, every “HMPK!” and “HNGK!” made their body jerk more noticeably. They chuckled quietly at their body's reaction, whispering to Copper, “sorry, li–little girlie, HMPK!MMK! I bet a-HAUP!-” they put a fist over their mouth, “sorry, all th—this movemen-NGK!NNK!-ment is a lot fo-HOLK!-for you.”

Copper only looked at them, standing up so her front legs were on their chest, giving her an advantage to give Dorian all the kisses on their face. They giggled as their face was tickled with the kisses, attacked by an onslaught of rapid fire hiccups he'd worked overtime to keep muffled. Though, his olive green romper kept on bouncing along with their stomach.

Tele.machus checked in on them, squeezing his shoulder, whispering, “you ok?”

Dorian nodded their head that jolted back twice with two more silent, but strong hiccups. “Ye-himpk!-yeah, just n-NNK!hnk'UP!-no mo––uh,” they grunted, rubbing their chest slightly, “no more HICK'gmp!-mm, ‘scu–use me, laughing HINGK! no laugh—ing.”

Tele.machus nodded and stroked their hair back in comfort, “alright, I'll try not to do anything funny, but I can't promise anything. I'm just myself and you find me hilarious sometimes…” he shrugged, then reassured them, “not that I'm upset about that. I love hearing your laugh. It's music to my ears.”

Dorian blinked, then snorted, “you're hmk!HM'MK! so rid-IC!‐ulously cor‐HRMK!-corny.”

Tele.machus smirked, “oops, made you laugh. See? I'm just talking to you and you just find me humorous.”

“Then-NK! the solu-HULP!-tion is sim-HMK!-simple,” Dorian raised an eyebrow playfully, but one look at Tele.machus’ worried–or was it more sad? anxious?–face told him not to finish that sentence with the original ‘stop talking’ joke they were planning. They lowered their voice, “I'll ju-HUCK!UCK!-st deal wi—ith some extra hic!-cups.~”

Then they got close to Tel's ear, whispering, “you kn–know I don-nk!-don't mind…HU'UP!”

Tele.machus shivered and playfully nudged them, his face back into a big smile, “you tease…”

Dorian shrugged and placed a bouncy kiss on his cheek, glad to bring a smile back to his face.

Pitt, on the other hand, had gotten slightly annoyed at Otto and Atticus’ attention being distracted and pulled the leash even more with a tiny growl that encouraged the clockmaker to look around in delight at the pure adorableness of it.

“Aw-Huck!-Aww-Higgurp! Di–dn’t mean Hilk!Hlmk! to Hi’urgk! ign–ore you, ma-Hup!-man! Huck!-oh!” Otto exclaimed as his hiccups became a bit harder, no doubt induced by the bread.

The pitbull puppy seemed to not care at all about the hiccups and happily lolled his tongue as Otto finally gave him attention again.

Atticus put a hand on Otto’s back and rubbed it with that last hiccup, noticing how much worse they were getting. But, overwhelmed as they were, they got Tele.machus’ attention.

“Care to share the Reggie love, dude? Pretty sure Otto has found his soulmate in this one!” they said as they firmly focused on anything but the young person’s body hiccuping in their periphery. (It certainly hadn’t helped that Dorian’s hiccups seemed to have doubled in speed staccato with Otto’s rapid hiccups.) Atticus’ thighs squeezed against each other in a small overwhelm of sensation.

Tele.machus looked up from his snugglefest from Reggie, turning to Atticus, seeing both Otto and Dorian jolting in his peripherals and shivering slightly, even though he wasn't cold.

Refocusing on the question at hand, he nodded, “yeah, ehem, yeah, go right ahead. He's quite the sweetheart. And soft. And he's super chill too. Like you saw, I had my face in his fur for a while and he was all for it. Um, sorry, rambling, go ahead to Atticus, Reggie.”

Reggie gave a soft borf before making his way over to Atticus and placing his head on their lap, looking up at them with the same pleading eyes he'd given Tele.machus.

Meanwhile, Otto spared a glance to his hiccuping companion.

“Gu–ess our Hurgk! dia–phragms couldn’t Hmp!Hmk!Hulk!-uh, couldn’t han–dle the ex-Hmp!-citement!” he said as he muffled another cluster and laughed at Pitt’s seemingly inexhaustible energy, though the clockmaker swore he saw a yawn.

Otto couldn’t help but rub his chest a little as well. The coffee cake had been a bad idea, he decided. But he was pretty sure he’d make it again if given the choice.

Dorian chuckled and nodded, “ye-HI'URP!-yeah, ‘scu-HMMK!-scuse me. Bu-hup!HULP!-uh, but hmmp! I have to s–say, Te–elly wasn't ly-HINGK! when he to-hulp!‐told me about hick!HIP!-” they cleared their throat, placing a hand on their chest. He swallowed thickly before continuing on, “your HICK!...hiccups hm'mp!hmkmk!-ngh. They tru-HUCK!-truly are som-mmk!-thing. And hup!hickolp! I mean that HRMK! posi-HIP!-tively.”

They winked at him and continued petting Copper. Focusing on the animal helped him not to feel too overwhelmed. Though, they glanced at Telemachus, who was just bouncing his leg and staring at his muffin as he sipped his iced coffee. They reached over and put a hand on his knee.

Otto cocked his head curiously at the wink. An unrepressed “HU’ULP!” manifested which he slapped his hand over his mouth at. Pitt even reacted with a little yip back.

“Jee-HEEP!” Otto tried saying as he put the back of his hand on his mouth, “Jeeze! Scuse m–me! Your hi-Hilmp’k! Hiccups are go–ood t-Hup!-too I th-Hingk!”

“They are,” Atticus said, not even looking up to Dorian or Otto and instead laying their head gently on Reggie’s. He gave a little lick to their nose as they chuckled.

“Conf-Herp!-confirmed by a–an exp-Herk!-pert!” Otto said as he sat his hand over his solar plexus and pulled a tense face to a cluster before grunting and relishing one interrupted breath before another. “Oof! H’ulgk!Hmk!Hm’mlk!Mmk!” After that, his diaphragm gave him a bit more breathing room between his hiccups, though they were still a little harder than he was used to despite not being as loud.

“Agreed, they're the best,” Tele.machus kissed his cheek.

Dorian smiled and blushed, “aww-HAULGK!-awww…” he seemed to look down in thought.

Tele.machus noticed this and whispered to them, “if you're thinking about telling them, you can trust them. Trust me. But no pressure.” He smiled reassuringly.

Dorian nodded before looking at Atticus and Otto, “sur-hurk!-sure…so, um HMMK!HMKGMP!-uh, excu–use me, I dunno if HICK! this is uh, wei-HRK!-weird to br–ring up, but HILP!HIP!-uh HICKIP!HNK!-mm.” They patted their chest, feeling it jump with another couple of silent hiccups before he continued. “I kn–know Tel's to-HOLP!-told you abou—out his, but…HEEKulp!‐uh, I also HMK! like hiccups…hav-HINGK!-having them an–and witnessing HUOP! them.”

“Secret club,” Tele.machus giggled to himself as he stroked their hair proudly.

Atticus just stared at Dorian for a moment, then back to Tele.machus, and then to Otto who just continued to hold in hiccups as he shook his head and put his hands up.

“I se–eem to b-Huck!-be more H’muck! out–out numbered th–an I th-Hup!-thought!” Otto said.

“Okay, cause,” Atty said, squaring up to Dorian for a second, “I actually really dig your-what is it the kid’s say? Your fit! And I’ve been wanting to tell you that but then you-you started doing that and I couldn’t focus cause Otto was-and anyway. You rock the fuck out of your heterochromia and your undercut is flawless and, yes, your-your diaphragm is very good at doing that thing it’s not supposed to do.”

Atticus sucked on their coffee, rubbed a finger under their mustache, and retreated back to Reggie’s head in their lap as they heard Otto’s chuckles and hiccups beside them.

Dorian blinked and jolted with a surprised “HI'ULP!” before he smiled sweetly, chuckling slightly, “tha-NGK!NK!-thank you. HUP! I lo–ove being a-HMP!HM'MP!-able to expre-HUP!HICK!HOLP!-mm.” They patted their chest.

Atticus looked up in concern and Otto gave a wincing sympathetic look as his own hiccups, which he was muffling, had sped up in kind.

Feeling Tele.machus’ comforting hand on their back, they continued, “sorry HEEK! ab–about that, um-MMK! I love be-HIMPK!-being able t–to express HIP! myself com-hmk!-comfor-HURK!-comfortably…jee–ez…”

Tele.machus rubbed his back, giving him a soft look, which Dorian interpreted as an ‘are you ok?’ look. They nodded and gently ruffled his hair before kissing his cheek. Then he turned to Atticus, “you HUMPK! have a cool HICK! st–yle t–too!” Then at Otto, “both o-HUCKULP!-uh, ‘scuse me…both o-HUCK!-of you d–o.”

Atticus smiled sheepishly as they kept a hand on Reggie’s head, which offered grounding warmth and softness, but they paused realizing Otto’s hiccups were not calming down after his expression of merriment at the writer’s nervous ramblings, though he was fighting hard to suppress the fit, which was possibly making it a little worse.

“Hmp!Ngk!Hm!Mph!...Hm’mk!Hm!Mm!Mm!Ngk!...”

Atticus looked at him with the same concern they’d shown to Dorian as the clockmaker kept the muffled spasms behind a closed fist, shutting his eyes momentarily and forcing some breaths in between the higher-pitched sounds, gulping and thumping in his throat and chest as his chin tucked down over and over. His belly pushed into the thin material of his button up causing his shirt to shift with each hiccup, space above his clavicle sucking in like a trampoline.

“Hooooly crap, man,” Tele.machus kept his eyes strictly on Copper, not that it helped much with the clear view of Dorian’s abs constantly bouncing. “You, um…you good, man?”

“Tha-HNK!-that sou-HUCK!-sounded HIP!HICKOLP! pretty H'GULP!-oof, rough,” Dorian also seemed concerned.

When he finally opened his eyes, Otto shook his head at the concern, trying not to feel embarrassed.

“Yo–u're o–ne t-Hu’uck!Huck!-to t–alk,” he said to Dorian,” Otto struggled to say before his diaphragm started to ease in its irritation.

Dorian bit their lip, “tou-HICKOLP!-touche HIP!”

“Ugh-H’uck!Hulgk!-mm. S-Herp!-sorry,” he continued, apologizing for the worry caused as he swallowed a couple more hiccups. “Bre–ead and Hulmgk!-uh, la–laugh–ter Hmmk! make the–em worse. I’m fi–fine Hu’ULK!”

“His diaphragm obviously doesn’t like him teasing me about babbling like an idiot to the cute kid with the h-um-hiccups!” Atticus said, though they’d been rubbing circles on Otto’s lower back.

“I Hulmpk! just th–ink Herp’k! think you–our cu-Hoop!-cute!” he argued as he rubbed his chest while giving his spouse a sweet smile.

Atticus stuck out their tongue and Otto rolled his eyes back at them.

“Whoa…” Tele.machus muttered intrigued, “that's interesting how three things seem to make them worse…and two of them could be considered cures- well, laughter could be the cause or the cure, so…maybe one and a half?”

Dorian snorted into another hiccup, “hon-HNGK!HNK!HI'ULP!‐uh HUP'K!-mm.” They patted their chest again just as a silent hiccup made his chest jolt.

“Seems snorting does the same for you,” Tele.machus squeezed Dorian’s shoulder gently.

“N–no, that HUAP! was ju–UP!-just bad ti-HICK'MP!-mm timing HIP!” Dorian side-eyed him, “but HU'ULP! as I was say-HINGK!NGK!NNK!-guh, try-HICKULP!-trying to s–ay…” they took as big of a breath as their diaphragm would allow.

Tele.machus switched from their shoulder to their back as it spasmed with another triple hiccup cluster. “Take your time, dear.”

Dorian nodded after swallowing another hiccup, “right, um, see-HEEK!-seems they're sho-HOLP!HUP!-showing o–ff today-”

“Cause they have competition for attention,” Tele.machus chuckled and interrupted.

“May—aybe, jeez.” With that long and strong silent hiccup, his head dramatically jolted back into the headrest of the chair. They cleared their throat, “anyw‐HILP!-way,” Dorian was determined to get through their question, “you said thr-HEEP!-three things?”

“Oh, yeah, the most common cure of holding his breath makes them worse too,” Tele.machus revealed.

Dorian’s eyebrows rose in curiosity, turning to Otto for confirmation. “Re-HIP!-really?”

Otto nodded as he snorted in another short cluster. This one caused him to give a little belch.

“Oh! Scuse Hm’up! me!” he exclaimed, patting his chest.

“You're excused,” Tele.machus smiled innocently, finishing his muffin.

It was hard to say who of the pair had trouble speaking more. Otto was overwhelmed by hiccups while Atticus was overwhelmed by stimulation. Still, the writer took a breath knowing it would be easier for them to explain it than their husband.

“Yeah,” they said as they shuddered out a sigh. The fact that they hadn’t had to run to the bathroom was a testament to the healing and calming power of dogs, none of whom seemed to have expressed any displeasure at the raucous hiccuping competition that had been going on around them.

Tele.machus heard the shudder, but made no comment, though he completely understood where they were coming from. He surprised his own self with how he was handling himself. Running a hand through Reggie’s fur, he sipped on his watered down iced coffee.

“Otto had a housemate who suggested it as a cure,” Atty explained.

“I ne–ver re-Hilp!-eally felt Hu’uck!Hu’ULP!-mm, felt the ne–ed t-Hup! cu–ure them bef-Hmp!-fore,” Otto explained.

“Right,” Atticus said, using the focus of telling the story as a distraction, “but they’d been going on for several hours at that point and Mark, we’re all still friends, was trying to help. Scared the shit out of him, right?”

Otto nodded with a sheepish grin.

“Me to-Hoop! at Huck! at first,” Otto admitted.

“That ho-HOLK!-hon-NNK!HNGK'L!-mm, honestly soun–nds scary HIP!” Dorian admitted.

“Yeah, I believe he told me it was like five hours?” Tele.machus recalled, “and as much as I'd love to see that…I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Especially if they're painful or causing discomfort.”

“Coo-HOOP!-ool in the-HUUP!‐theory, no-HOK!-not so much in exe–cution,” Dorian cringed slightly.

“That being said,” Atticus said. Their voice lowered, “we do take advantage of that tendency from time to time. For…things.” Then they quickly added, “Not my idea.”

Otto shrugged with a wider grin and waggled his eyebrows.

“Aaa–aahhh, fun~ HEEK'ULP!-oof,” Dorian patted their stomach as he smirked knowingly while Tele.machus looked confused until it dawned on him and he smiled slightly.

Otto and Atticus simply continued to smile at each other knowingly. Otto’s was more of an expressive grin while Atty’s was uncharacteristically shy.

Meanwhile, Pitt had calmed down quite a bit from his earlier rambunctiousness, and Otto shifted a softer smile at another wide yawn the dog gave.

“You goo–ood?” Dorian checked in quietly, their face close to Tele.machus’ ear.

The boy nodded too quickly, “mmhm, yep, all good here, you?”

“Mm-HMPK! sorry,” Dorian rubbed his knee apologetically as his head jolted back sharply at another silent hiccup.

Tele.machus whined quietly and leaned his head on Dorian's shoulder. Dorian smiled and wrapped an arm around him just in time for Tele.machus to feel the next muffled hiccup.

Atticus had shifted trying to take a picture of Reggie’s sweet face as the dog attempted to lick their phone when they saw both Dorian and Tele.machus cuddling adorably and Otto lowering himself to the floor. At the latter they gave a confused look.

“Where’re you going?” Atty asked.

“Just H’ulp! down he–re so Hmk!Hmp! so Pi-Hi’up!-uh, Pitt ca–an Hi’uck! get t–to me be-Humpk!-better!” Otto explained as he pushed his coffee closer to the edge so he could reach it from the floor. “I thi–think he’s Hmp!Mk! ge–etting t-Hlmp!-tired. And th–ere’s not Hup! not enou–ough room Hmk! for hi–is goofy Huck! long legs t–o fit Mk!Hmmk!-mm, fit i–in my lap! Hu’uck!”

As if proving the point, Pitt started to get excited at Otto’s akimbo crossed legs and tried to play but ended up yawning again and clumsily crossing the clockmaker’s legs to sit and then eventually lay in his lap with a small whine and harumph to which Otto laughed. And hiccuped. And Pitt huffed again before scooting his rump further into Otto’s lap as he threw his head heavily on Otto’s thigh.

Atticus sent Reggie back to Tele.machus with one final smooch to the top of his insanely soft head before scooting across the seat to try and take an above shot of Pitt in Otto’s lap. It was particularly difficult to accomplish for two reasons. 1) Otto’s body kept moving and making the picture blurry and 2) from this vantage Otto’s belly looked amazing as it pooched with hiccups through his thin short-sleeved button-up.

“Hey! How’re you two ‘lovebirds’ holding up over there?” Atticus said as they glanced up at the younger couple. “Stop moving!”

Otto looked up helplessly and shrugged as his head was jerked down by his hiccups. He grinned and tried to poke Atticus’ nose as the writer batted his hand away. Pitt, despite the bouncy ride of Otto’s lap, had dissolved fully into sleep.

Tele.machus smiled as Reggie made his way back over to him. The boy opted to snuggle back with Reggie. Dorian scoff-hiccupped offendedly. “Wow, my HICK! hiccupy cu-HUCK!-cuddles are ap–parently n-hnkUP!-not good enough hmpf!-mm for you, huh?”

“But dog…” Tele.machus pouted up at them, “that's not fair…”

“Mmm hmk!-” when they noticed Copper curled up in their lap resting peacefully, they relented, “fi–ine…I'll give ya-hup! that one hingk!”

They gently stroked her head as she slept peacefully, though they couldn't imagine how when his body was constantly jolting. Then again, they felt their hiccups somewhat softening a bit, which was a telltale sign that they wouldn't be lasting much longer.

Tele.machus glanced up at Atticus with a cheesy smile, “we don't have a-”

“I sw–swear, if you fin-hnk!nk!-finish that corny huckulk! joke I know you're plan-hngk!-planning,” Dorian glared at him playfully with a slightly threatening undertone.

Atticus squinted at the exchange. The joke possibility escaped them, but they appreciated the banter.

“Fine fine,” Tele.machus rolled his eyes fondly, “but anyway, we're doing good. I've completely forgotten about my drink and muffin. This coffee's probably incredibly watered down now…”

“I'm sure it'll sti-hick-ill taste good,” Dorian shrugged before turning to address Atticus’ question as well, “and I've got a slee-heep-ing dog on my lap, so…I'm kinda in heaven right n–ow.” They smiled. “How about y–you guys?”

Unlike Dorian, Otto’s hiccups would probably last for several more minutes. They were still in the ‘chaotic stage’ as he secretly liked to refer to it. It certainly was bizarre to know that every person at the table had this ‘unique’ fetish. But if he let his mind drift there for too long he’d be in a tricky stimuli situation himself.

“I’m go-Hoop!-good! Hlmgk!Hm’kuh!” he cleared his throat, or attempted to, and suppressed a yawn. “Excu-Up!-scuse me! Pitt’s fa–ast asleep Hmk! over he–ere, too. Hu’ULP!-oof!”

Atticus had finally gotten a decent picture and was sitting behind Otto as he sat on the ground in front of them. They were giving his shoulders a rub and placed hands on his chest to offer some comfort.

“Hey, did you want to try the mocha?” Atty recalled.

“Oo–ooh, yeah! Huck!” Otto responded.

Atticus handed the drink over his shoulder and Otto excitedly took sips of it through the straw.

“I gotta say,” the writer said as they watched Pitt laying sprawled out across Otto’s lap, “I never expected to meet two other people at once with this…thing.”

Atty was incredibly glad to look around and still see their group alone in the room.

“But I guess that’s what I get for marrying a dude who gets them so good, huh?” they said as they patted Otto on the chest lightly and kissed the top of his head.

The clockmaker hiccuped silently, thrown into Atticus’ torso above him and shrugged.

“I al–so fi-Hip!-ix clocks! Hmp!Huckup!Huckolp!-mm,” he said before he took another strawful of the mocha.

“I n–never expected to find anyone in real life with our thing,” Dorian shrugged, “it's a pleasant and welcome surprise.”

Tele.machus chuckled, “well, at least you had people online to talk to…” he glanced at Reggie, who was currently curled up at his feet. “I honestly didn't think to do that…”

Atticus raised their eyebrows at Tele.machus’ admission, but refrained from commenting. Searching for people who liked hiccups had been one of the very first things they’d done when the internet first became available at home. It had been an extremely affirming discovery and they couldn’t imagine how alone they would’ve felt if they hadn’t found the community, as flawed as it was.

“Oh, sweet, innocent Telly,” Dorian gently patted his head. “You must've felt so alone.”

“Yeah…I dunno why it didn't dawn on me to see if anyone shared my feelings,” Tele.machus looked away and scratched the back of his neck, “actually…it was probably because of embarrassment and the fear of someone I knew finding out.”

“You can make anonymous accounts, hun,” Dorian raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, I know, but still…I didn't wanna risk the chance,” he tapped his pointer fingers together. “What if the way I type is familiar? Or what if I accidentally use the wrong account? I've done that before. What if I still don't fit in? Or maybe-”

“Okay, it's okay, breathe, dear,” Dorian maneuvered themselves as not to jostle Copper and wrapped both his arms around him, rubbing his arm soothingly.

Tele.machus nodded and took a deep breath before leaning into Dorian more, “thank you…sor-”

“No apology needed,” Dorian interjected with a kiss on his forehead. “I've got you, cutie.”

They then turned to Otto, remembering to comment on their previous conversation, “and you, my friend, make the most amazing clocks.” He smiled at the sparkle of their gifted watch before making the sudden revelation and slumping disappointedly, “aww…my hiccups are gone.”

Tele.machus tried really hard not to laugh at their pouty face before patting their shoulder, “it's okay, Dori…they'll come back eventually.”

“That’s a-Hup!-that’s a w-H’uck!-watch,” Otto said. At Atticus’ light swat at his chest he recognized the insensitivity of the correction. “Uh-HUCK!-oof! Pard–pardon! But th–anks fo-Erk!-for the comp–compliment H’ulgk!-mm.

“Oh…yeah, I guess you have a point there,” Dorian shrugged and scratched their cheek, “uh, still my compliment stands, just by seeing this watch, I know you put a lot of love and hard work into your projects, so, um…yeah.”

“Although tech–nically I Hilp! didn’t ma–ake the m–ovement,” Otto replied. “But, so–rry, that Hulgk! that doesn’t ma–atter. Tha–thank you.”

Then he added, “An–and do-Hurgk!-on’t worry. Hilk!Hu'uck!-uh, I’ll ho–hold down Hurp! the hic-Himpk!-hiccup fort.”

Dorian chuckled and nodded, saluting him, “I believe in you.”

Then Tele.machus’ eyes widened and he gasped as he remembered something, “oh my gosh…I completely forgot to mention this when I brought up my dad's return…” he excitedly glanced at Otto on the floor, “on the car ride home from school, I finally got them! The, um…-”

“Hiccups,” Dorian supplied for him after they sipped their latte. Then they crossed their arms, mumbling, “that he mentioned thinking about recording for me but didn't because quote unquote ‘payback time.’”

Atticus snorted through their jealousy of not being able to get the hiccups themself.

“Yes, those,” Telemachus ignored their mumbling, continuing, “but they kinda overstayed their welcome and I had to have my first meeting with dad with them. It was wild, heh. But fun! In the beginning, at least.” He chuckled and took a bite of his muffin.

“Hey! Hu’ULGK! Congrats k–kiddo!” Otto said with a grin.

“I’m never going to get them!” Atticus lamented loudly. When Otto attempted to comfort them they shook their head. “No. It’s true. I’ve tried everything. With my luck I’ll finally get them after you die and the one person who I would’ve loved to share them with will be gone and I’ll just sit there crying and hiccuping until I die of grief and annoyance at myself!”

“That wa-Huck!-was nee–eedlessly dram-Herk-matic Hu’ergk!-uh, and depres–ssing,” Otto said as he rubbed their arms.

“I know,” Atticus admitted.

Dorian’s eyes watered slightly, feeling their heart shatter, “that's so sad…I wish I could transfer some of my hiccups to you.” Then he held their chin, looking down in thought, muttering, “I wonder if we could surgically switch diaphragms…”

“Ha! With my luck I’d get your diaphragm and my body would automatically render it un-hiccup-able,” they said.

Dorian snorted quietly, “sorry sorry, I don't mean to laugh, that's just- unhiccupable, it's a cute word, hehe.”

Copper took a deep breath as she shifted in her sleep.

Tele.machus frowned sympathetically, “that sucks…I can't imagine not ever being able to have h-hiccups…” he took another bite of his muffin, “do you ever get, like, singles at least?”

“Mm, kind of? I burp a lot. Sometimes it’ll trigger the diaphragm to give an assist, I guess,” they said with a shrug. “I get the potential of one silent hiccup once a day, I think.”

Tele.machus nodded, “well, as long as you have the potential for that one silent h-hiccup-” he cleared his throat at the stammer, “I'm sure one day, your diaphragm will gift you a wonderful case. I'm speaking it into existence.” He smiled, ever the optimist.

“From your lips to…er…I don’t really believe in anything spiritually so…to my vagus or phrenic nerve, I guess,” Atticus said with an appreciative nod.

Pitt twitched as he slept in Otto’s lap.

“Hey, speaking of Tele.machus saying his hiccups overstayed a welcome,” Atticus said as they watched Otto’s bouncing belly from above, the dog seemingly unaffected by the jostling. Atty’s hand rubbed in circles on his chest as they leaned over his shoulder. “Do you need to cure? I can feel how deep these are.”

They were also horny as hell and trying desperately not to grind where they sat.

“If-Huck! they’re sti–ill here after Hu’ulmp!-uh, after Pitt wa–akes Hmpk! wakes up, yeah. Hmmp! Hope–fully they’ll ca-Hauk!-calm down th–though,” he said. Though the back of his neck was starting to get sore from his head being thrown back and his chest was starting to tighten up a bit. “Can you sa–ave some co-HUP!-coffee cake f-Hmp!-for me?”

Atticus chuckled.

“Yeah,” they said as they kissed his forehead between his hiccups.

Suddenly, Herman came over, “hello dawlings, just checking in. How's everyone doing?”

Reggie glanced up at Herman as she snuck him some pets.

Otto immediately clamped down on his hiccups. He did so unconsciously. Instead of the louder hiccups he had been letting out, he let them squelch in his throat and thump in his chest. It was one thing to hiccup around a bunch of people who had some sort of appreciation of them. It was another for a stranger to possibly comment and notice the disturbance, no matter how well-dressed. The clockmaker still hadn’t completely overcome his neurosis of hiccuping in public, it seemed. At least it seemed to still occur when he had to be present with someone new. Though he didn’t really reflect on any of this during his automatic reaction.

“We’re good,” Atticus said of themself and Otto. “Could we possibly get a to-go bag for half of the coffee cake?”

“Also,” they added, “really weird question and it’s totally okay if the answer is no, but do you all keep any apple cider vinegar in stock?”

Otto glanced up at them as his body continued to jerk into Atty’s chest as they’d leaned down to embrace him. He rubbed their arms as he leaned his head into their elbow briefly before another hiccup made the action impossible and he huffed a little.

“Certainly, a to-go bag and I'm not sure if we have any apple cider vinegar, but I can check in the back for you,” Herman smiled, then turned to Tele.machus and Dorian, “and how about you two?”

“We're good too,” Dorian smiled as they gently stroked Copper's head.

“Actually, can I have another iced coffee?” Tele.machus asked.

“I dunno…is that really a good idea?” Dorian raised an eyebrow.

“It's a great idea,” he stuck his tongue out playfully.

“Okay, but don't say I didn't warn ya,” Dorian shrugged.

“So one more iced coffee, a to-go box, and checking to see if we have apple cider vinegar,” Herman winked. “Be right back, dawlings.” They headed off to get the requested items.

“HUCK!-uh,” Otto said as he finally released the sound of his hiccups. “Hu’ULGK!-ugh. Sorry bu-HURGK!-bud.”

Pitt had startled awake and looked up at Otto sleepily before grunting and turning the other way on his lap, eyes blinking slowly and then shutting again.

Copper also startled awake with a slight growl and a bark.

Dorian gently stroked her head, “it's okay, girlie. We're all safe.”

Copper lay her head back on Dorian's lap, quickly going back to sleep.

“If they don’t have apple cider vinegar, there’s sugar and salt on the table and I can ask Herman if they have lemon extract or a lemon wedge?” Atticus offered.

“K-HULMPK!-okay. They aren’t terr–ible,” he said not only to Atticus but the other two. “A little tir-INGK!, tiring but Hu’UL! after a wh–while I get Hulk!HUCK!-uh, a little tight a–nd sore.”

Dorian nodded with a slight frown, “I can understand. They seem so much worse than you're letting on…you sure you're not in any pain?”

Tele.machus frowned as well, “a little sore, huh?…definitely get that feeling.”

Otto shot Tele.machus a thumbs up in acknowledgement and agreement before answering Dorian.

“HUMGK!-mm, you’re n–ot the first Hip’k! first to as–sk that,” Otto said with a sideways smile, a little sheepish, “I kn–ow they HUCK’M!Hulk!-uh, sound ba–ad.” He gulped down a hiccup with a wince of how the sensation felt as opposed to pain. “But the-Herp’k!-they’re more ann–oying than HUH! than painful, hone–honestly.”

He took a moment to pause in thought.

“I’m n–ot gonna HNGK!-uh, gonna lie. At this p–oint they H’ULGK!-uh kinda start HMPK! start to ge–get a little HMM! overbear–ing,” he admitted.

Dorian frowned sympathetically, nodding their head as they finally finished their latte, “I bet. Too much of something can definitely cause some discomfort.”

Tele.machus nodded in agreement, “yeah, cause I'm the same way. It's why I only enjoy having a, uh, case for the first minute or two, then they become annoying afterwards.”

“He means they actually start becoming sore. Especially when they’re this strong,” Atticus added. “In case you haven’t noticed, this gorgeous tall man doesn’t like to inconvenience anyone with his discomfort…”

The writer looked down at him pointedly and Otto gave back an incredulous expression with narrowed eyes.

Tele.machus’ jaw dropped, “Otto…it's ok to share your discomfort, especially with your loved one. They're still gonna love you regardless. You're not gonna inconvenience anyone.”

Dorian nodded and looked at Tele.machus as if he was their entire world, “I mean…ditto. He kinda covered what I was gonna say.” They chuckled quietly and snuck a kiss onto Telemachus’ forehead.

“Way to ca-HOCK!-call me ou–out!” Otto exclaimed then muttered, “I’m wor–orking on i-HIP!-it!”

But he received only a smile and another firm massage to his neck from his partner which he couldn’t find the energy to balk at considering how good it felt.

“Do-HURGK!-Dorian,” he continued, “you–rs don’t sound H’muck!-mm, much bet–ter than mi-Huck!-mine hones–stly. I al–almost asked Hu’UCK!-uh, asked you th–the same Hup!-mm, same thing! Hu’ulk!H’uck!”

“I…was kinda thinking the same thing,” Atty admitted.

Dorian’s eyes widened a bit before they blushed with a sheepish grin, “yeah, heh, mine can kinda sound rough sometimes, but they never really hurt. I love being able to feel every jolt so…thoroughly? Like…I dunno, it's hard to explain. But the bottom line I guess would be that the good feelings outweigh the not-so-good feelings.”

They shrugged and finally started on their muffin. He hadn't wanted to risk worsening their hiccups when they'd had them, so now that they were gone, he would be able to enjoy the sweet treat. “I…have no idea if I'm just rambling and not making any sense, hehe.”

“I sor-HULGK!-sorta get that MMK!” Otto responded. “Atty li–iking my hic-HMP!MP!-hiccups and WHUP!-what that gi–ives me, well, tr–ust me HUP! the good out–outweighs the Hu’UCK! the bad wh–en I know what HMPH! it does to the-HIMPK!-them. And, you kn–ow, of co-HERP!-course I get MK! a lot out of it t–too!”

Dorian smiled, “I bet you experienced lovebirds have a blast together.”

Tele.machus was oblivious to what was going on, just slurping the air that remained from his finished iced coffee.

Otto suppressed a sharp hiccup and groaned a very soft ‘ow’ that only Atticus would’ve been able to hear. The writer pulled him a little tighter and put their hand on his chest as he sighed out.

“Poor guy,” Atticus said, pouting a little. “So, Dorian, curious. And don’t answer this if you don’t feel comfortable. What do you usually do if yours go on for longer than you want? Is there a cure or, I dunno, something that feels good to ease your body after something like that?”

Dorian thought about it for a bit, “hmm, honestly? Holding my breath is my go-to cure instantly and it always works for me. Clearly, that wouldn't work in this case considering that'd just make it worse. But sometimes with my harder cases, I mostly just lay down and rub my chest and the area where my diaphragm is located. I also take some deep, freeing breaths, that helps calm me down. And drinking water saves my throat too…and I think that's mostly my aftercare procedures, hehe.”

“I recom–mend che-HIC!-chest massages and Hi’URK! bell-HOCK!-belly rubs,” Otto said as he glanced up at Tele.machus with a pointed look, leaning forward to emphasize his meaning.

Tele.machus chuckled and nodded, “copy that! I'll take a class on massages so I can give the best chest massages ever.”

Dorian giggled, “aww, you're too kind, Telly, you're gonna spoil me…”

“You deserve to be spoiled, Dori,” Tele.machus winked and leaned his head on their shoulder.

Atticus chuckled and rubbed Otto’s neck again.

Herman then returned with another iced coffee for Tele.machus, the to-go container for Atticus and Otto, and a bottle of regular vinegar. “Sorry, but there wasn't any apple cider vinegar, so I brought regular vinegar if that helps.”

“Thank you,” Tele.machus beamed and instantly started sipping on the new iced coffee.

“I’ve nev-HRMGK! tried,” Otto said and silenced another hiccup that sent him back into Atty’s arms again in Herman’s presence, “reg–ular vinegar be-HMM!-before!”

The clockmaker’s long fingers held the container curiously.

“Do you all happen to have any lemons?” Atticus queried. “Or maybe lemon juice?”

“Ah, yes, we definitely have lemon juice cuz we use it for some of our teas,” Herman clapped his hands excitedly before leaning in close to the table, “or, well, if after hours, right next door, Dennis runs the best bar and mixes up stellar cocktails and mocktails too.” She winked at Tele.machus and Dorian.

“I just turned 22,” Tele.machus raised an eyebrow. “But mocktails are honestly more my speed anyway.”

“Mine t-HMPH!-too honestly,” Otto said, head tucking down in another suppressed hiccup.

Tele.machus nodded, “fruity drinks are my go-to, but they taste better without the bitterness of the alcohol…kinda makes it taste like medicine.” He sipped his iced coffee once again.

“No fair,” Dorian pouted and slumped adorably at being underage, “one more month…”

“Alco-HIC!-alcohol does–n’t agree with m–me,” Otto said. Usually the clockmaker was quite outspoken about his addiction and recovery, but after Dorian’s comment he thought it wise to err on the side of neutrality. Despite not having the intention of, comments about his alcoholism were sometimes met with awkwardness when with others who expressed a desire for or a fondness for alcohol.

“You two are babies!” Atticus exclaimed with a hand outstretched at the pair as they were once again reminded of the age difference of Otto and them versus the fetuses across the table from them.

Tele.machus and Dorian both chuckled softly at the exclamation. “Yeah, babies with big dreams…” Tele.machus sighed wistfully.

“Yep, though, I'm the middle child of my family, I'm still considered the baby of the bunch,” Dorian scratched the back of their head.

“Maybe it's cuz you're so cute,” Tele.machus winked.

“This m–ight work HU’UCK!” Otto said of the vinegar and then put a fist on his mouth, embarrassed at the surprise hiccup. Usually he could feel them coming and muffle them. That one had snuck up on him. “Jeez! S-HMPK!-sorry!”

He cast wide apologetic eyes to the barista, finally catching the winged eyeliner Atticus had mentioned to him earlier. It sparkled in the lights. Herman, he realized, was a little mesmerizing when he really looked at him. How he hadn’t realized it before was beyond him. It made him want to suppress his hiccups all the more, honestly.

“Ah, nasty case of the hiccups you've got there, dawling,” Herman commented, slightly amused. “Peanut butter always helps me, but seeing as you've requested the apple cider vinegar and the lemon juice, I'm sure that's the cure for you.”

Otto could only nod at the barista for fear of hiccuping loudly again. Atticus, meanwhile, tried very hard not to let their mind go to what Herman’s hiccups might sound like.

With a smile, they nodded, “be right back. I'll also grab the check for you if you're not ordering anything else. But absolutely spend as much time here as you want, dawlings.” And she headed back to their station.

When Herman was out of earshot, Otto turned to look up at everyone around him.

“Is it ju-HUCK!-just me or HUMP’K! or is that bar–ista extremely attr–attractive?” Otto asked, eyes a little wide.

“Glad someone said it, cuz their style is immaculate,” Dorian admitted.

Tele.machus only shrugged, “he's cute, I'll give ‘em that. And they're really good with makeup it seems.”

“Wonder if they'll be up for giving me some pointers,” Dorian wondered with a finger under his chin, “that eyeliner is on point and I always mess mine up.”

“Definitely not just you,” Atty confirmed. “Did you see their makeup?”

“Winged eye-UCK!-eyeliner, ye–yeah,” Otto said excitedly.

“Think they might have more freckles than you, even. Gorgeous as hell,” Atticus added. Then they noticed him rubbing his chest. “Hey, man, give that vinegar a go, huh?”

Atty kissed the top of his head.

Otto nodded and shot the liquid with a wince. It simply didn’t pack the same punch of apple cider vinegar did. But, somehow, it was twice as disgusting.

Tele.machus and Dorian both watched in anticipation, wondering if the vinegar would work. This was just another part of why they enjoyed hiccups. The anticipation of it all. Whether someone was curing them or inducing them. It was the ‘will they or won't they’ thrill that made their hearts race a little faster.

“Gah!-UCK!” he declared passionately. He hiccuped a few more times before he tried to wash the taste down with his black coffee and then the mocha. “I do–on’t think that’s gonna HURP!-ugh, do it.”

Tele.machus cringed at having the taste of vinegar in his mouth after witnessing Otto try it—he lovingly referred to that as ‘empathetic tasting.’ He frowned, “guh, I can only imagine how that tastes.”

“Probably like salt and vinegar chips without the salt and in liquid form,” Dorian shrugged.

“You'd only defend it cuz that's your favorite potato chip flavor,” Tele.machus stuck his tongue out in disgust. “How can you like that stuff?”

“The same way I like pineapple on my pizza,” Dorian smirked amusedly.

“Hm! Same!” Atticus said, hand raised a little.

“Dude, just no,” Telemachus pinched the bridge of his nose.

“HUP!-same!” Otto said as he pointed to the 22-year-old.

“Can't judge it til you try it,” Dorian winked and bit into their muffin again.

“Sa–ave you the tro-UP!-ble. Just as ba–ad as HULP! as you think it is,” Otto responded.

“Which is, of course, completely wrong,” Atty said with a grin.

“Gonna have to take Otto’s advice for this one,” Tele.machus continued.

“It's not bad at all,” Dorian debated, “everyone's taste buds are different.”

“Yeah…considering you also put ranch on your pizza, I'd say our taste buds don't align,” Tele.machus shrugged.

Dorian pouted dramatically, “you wound me, Telly.”

Tele.machus, thinking he went too far, looked over to them, rubbing their thigh, “Dori, I'm sorry-”

“Hun, I'm still playing, I'm not actually sad,” Dorian reassured him, caressing his cheek, “my sweet boyfriend.”

Tele.machus sighed in relief as he leaned into their hand, “Okay…that's a relief. You know it doesn't matter what you eat, I'll still care about you.” He blushed slightly, which highlighted his own freckles, and kissed the palm of their hand.

Dorian blushed also, muttering, “sweet boyfriend…”

“I, on the other hand,” Atticus announced as they continued to care for Otto who was still sitting on the floor with Pitt as they sat at the table behind him, “have just met you, Dorian, and thus have no stock in our future relationship. As such, I can absolutely guarantee that you completely lost me at putting Ranch Dressing on pizza.”

“It’s no–ot that ba-UCK!-uh, bad!” Otto argued.

“See?” Dorian smirked playfully.

“Whatever,” Tele.machus shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“You’re lucky you have a cute diaphragm, bud!” Atty said with a wink.

Otto gave a measured chuckle, making sure not to laugh outright, as he rolled his eyes.

Herman returned once again with some lemon juice, a small cup of peanut butter enclosed, and the check. He first set the lemon juice and bill down before holding onto the peanut butter, “anyone here allergic to the smell of peanut butter? I brought it just in case ya wanted to try it.”

Tele.machus shook his head, “no, I just can't eat it.” He sighed sadly.

“Aww, hun,” Dorian consoled him with a stroke on his back, “you know I always enjoy it for the both of us…”

“That doesn't help,” Tele.machus plopped his head dramatically on the table and Reggie sat up alarmed, nudging his arm with his nose.

Tele.machus rolled his head to see the dog checking up on him and smiled, hugging him close, “aww, who's a sweet boy? Such a sweet boy!”

Reggie borfed before licking Tele.machus’ cheek and making him laugh.

Pitt had just given a mighty yawn and was blinking awake from his impressively long nap. Otto was secretly very happy with this because his knees, hips, and back were expressing tremendous distaste for having been forced to sit on the floor for so long.

“Does it HIMP! help that th–the peanut bu-HULPK!-uh, butter was act–ually for m-HMPK!-me?” Otto asked. He smirked.

“No,” Tele.machus wailed dramatically, then groaned, “Uggghh, why does such a tasty treat have to try to kill me when I eat it?”

“Tragic,” Dorian held his head down respectfully.

Atticus, who was busy pouring salt onto a napkin in lieu of a spoon and without the desire to make the eager Herman run back and forth one more time, looked up briefly.

“Considering peanut butter has never cured your,” they said and took a breath bravely, “hiccups, I’d say the peanut butter would probably be best utilized for the dogs, if they can have it.”

Herman nodded, “very well. But only if they've been behaving themselves.”

“They've been perfect lil angels,” Dorian expressed as Copper had decided to wake up with a whining yawn. Her tail instantly wagged at the sight of Dorian still holding her. She barked and jumped up on their chest, licking his face again.

Herman looks at Copper with a fond smile, “she must really like you, dawling. I've never seen her so cuddled up and close to anyone. And she's never licked anyone in their face.”

“She's found her soulmate with you,” Tele.machus smiled.

“Aww…well then, now I feel worse,” Dorian slumped as he petted her soft and fluffy sides, “I don't want to be separated from her, but…I also 1) can't afford a dog right now, broke college student and 2) with dorm life, there are no dogs allowed. Oh, and 3) my dad would probably kill me if I impulsively adopted a dog.” Dorian frowned and hugged her close.

Tele.machus, hating to see his partner so distraught over this, looked at Herman, “how much would it be to adopt her?”

“Um, I'd have to bring Dennis over to explain the dog adoption process,” Herman told him.

Atty then thought to quickly swipe the check from the table before the other couple could notice and fished their card out of their wallet before handing the card and check to Herman to process. They lined up a sugar packet, the napkin of salt, and the lemon juice and slid it over to their husband.

“Thanks,” Herman took the check and the card, putting the peanut butter on the table, “I'll be right back with Dennis for you.”

With Herman leaving, Dorian turned to Tele.machus with a confused frown, “what are you doing?”

“It doesn't hurt to ask,” Tele.machus shrugged. “Besides, there's only, what, two more weeks of school? More like one depending on whether the finals are online or not. We can ask if they'll hold her for that long and I'll help split the cost.”

“Telly, my dad will literally kill me,” Dorian reminded him. “I can't just go ‘hey dad, got all A's, also? Look at the dog my amazing partner helped me adopt on impulse because…I'm her soulmate’...” They got lost in the story when he looked into Copper's eyes, seeing so much love and joy in her eyes.

Tele.machus knew right then and there that there was no way he was going to separate the two of them. He'd do whatever it took to keep them together.

“Think you might have to convince Pitt to relinquish your lap as a pillow for this,” Atticus said.

“Aww-HM’MK!” Otto bemoaned.

Tele.machus chuckled softly, “it's okay. I'm sure it'll be worth it in the end when those, um, hiccups are gone.” He blushed at stumbling over the word.

“May–be,” Otto acceded.

The tall, lanky man fished into the ramiken of peanut butter to offer Pitt as a bribe. He grunted as he hiccuped when he extended his torso to reach it. His chest and belly, and that spot right under his ribs where his diaphragm resided, were definitely feeling the consequences of having such strong hiccups for so long. Otto was finally starting to question whether the coffee cake had been worth it, after all.

The pitbull puppy started wagging his tail as soon as he caught the scent of the peanut butter on Otto’s fingers that he’d scooped out, not wanting the dog to take all of the peanut butter in the container. After that, Pitt was easily motivated away from Otto’s lap. After the dog had licked his fingers clean as Otto smiled between grunts of hiccuping, the clockmaker groaned for another reason. He’d have to stand up.

His knees popped and clicked as he extended his legs.

“Ah,” he exclaimed, head and torso jolting again with hiccups. “Gett–ing old Hu’HURGK!-ugh, sucks!”

Atticus chuckled sympathetically.

Dorian frowned sympathetically as well, having to help his dad sometimes whenever he needed help standing and going up the stairs.

“I’m going to assume,” Atty said as Otto slowly made his way back to sitting at the table as Pitt continued to lick his lips of the peanut butter he’d been given, “we will not be making an impulsive decision to adopt Pitt?”

“Eh,” Otto said as he settled at the table again, giving a smile to Dorian and Tele.machus now that he was eye-to-eye with them again, jerking body and all, “Pitt’s a sw-HEEP-sweetheart, but HRMPH!-guh, but I d–on’t think he’d Hu’UCK! fair well w–with the antique gra–andfather HULMP!HUP!-mm, and grandmother cl–ocks. He’s go–onna make someone Hi’URK! someone really ha–appy, though.”

Tele.machus chuckled softly and ruffled Copper's head as Dorian nodded, “he sure will. He's got the face of a pup who wants to love everyone.”

“Yeah, and Reggie too,” Tele.machus added, “he's such a smart and snuggly doggo. Awww, maybe-”

“Tel, no, only one dog if any…” Dorian looked at him seriously.

Otto groaned, “Hi’ULP!-oww,” then he shook his hands toward everyone at the table, negating a possible misunderstanding. “Sorry, tha–at wasn’t Hi’URGK wasn’t about th-HIMP!-the hiccup. Just my kn–ees…hips…ba-HACK!-heh, back!”

Tele.machus and Dorian looked at each other, raising one eyebrow before shrugging it off.

“Is that all,” Atticus said sarcastically as they slid the sugar, salt, and lemon closer to Otto as he grunted in response.

Then the writer propped their head on their hand and looked at the younger couple with a smile and said, “You really thinking of adopting Copper? I mean…I feel like a dog…not that you were going to, but you all really can’t break up after that!”

“Atti–cus…” Otto said as he opened the sugar packet, frowning at them.

“What?” they replied, eyes wide.

Dorian's jaw dropped, “I would never wanna leave my Telly…ever.”

“I don't want to leave you either,” Tele.machus hugged them and snuggled close. “Besides, we're about to have our first kid together. This is the true test of if our relationship can make it!”

Dorian giggled and kissed his forehead, “you're just way too precious. And you've been so good to me, I…I never wanna mess this up.”

Tele.machus held their hand, squeezing it gently, “you won't. The responsibility of owning a dog isn't going to change how I feel about you.” He petted Copper with his free hand.

“Likewise,” Dorian smiled warmly and rested his head on top of Tele.machus’. “She'll have to stay with you until I can convince my dad…he can be rather ruthless sometimes…”

“Not a problem, I'm sure Ar.gos would love the company,” Tele.machus giggled, bringing up his iced coffee and sipping the last of it, “ahh, refreshing hick-urp!” His eyes widened and he covered his mouth, “oh, excuse me…”

Dorian looked at him curiously, “oh?”

Otto was pouring sugar into his mouth from the paper pouch finally when his brows raised in the same curiosity.

Atticus had straightened a little.

“Don't get too excited,” Tele.machus slumped at the lack of any hiccups to follow. “Just a hiccup burp…don't even think that counts as a real hiccup…”

“Of course it does, it's got hiccup in the name,” they rubbed Tele.machus’ arm to provide him comfort.

“That’s true, but man would I have gotten so frustrated if you had them, too, Tel. And see, Otto?” they said, turning to their husband whose mouth was currently closed around dissolving sugar. “They withstood my scrutiny banter just fine!”

Tele.machus chuckled softly, “gosh, imagine if three of us had them at the same time…I think I would physically melt into a puddle.” He stared into space for a bit, then tilted his head, “or maybe I would just die. Heh, what a way to go that would be? Imagine the headline on the news. College boy dies from witnessing three people with h-hiccups, himself included!”

“Knew that second coffee would be a bad idea,” Dorian muttered before stroking Tel's hair back, “honey, sweetie, beautiful boy, you're spiraling.”

“Am I? Oh, rambling? Sorry, maybe you were right about the extra caffeine,” Tele.machus bit his lip. “Sorryyyy!” He giggled and started bouncing his leg excitedly.

Otto shrugged with one shoulder, silent hiccups making him jump as he patted Pitt’s rump when he came over before the puppy attempted to play with Reggie.

Reggie sniffed Pitt and borfed tiredly at him before laying his head back down on the ground.

As the sugar finished dissolving, he eyed the napkin of salt in mild disdain. He often wondered if it would be an effective cure if he just skipped the salt entirely. But he never chanced the possibility he’d have to do the whole thing over if he skipped the salt and it didn’t work.

With a final saccharine swallow he folded the napkin and sighed.

“I hate this part H’ulmp!” Otto said, head thrown back a little. He could already tell the hiccups were starting to lose their edge. He was just tired, which was making their effect on him more dramatic.

“It seems to be working though,” Tele.machus commented, “just like you said!”

“Inside voice, lovely,” Dorian reminded him sweetly, snorting when Tele.machus responded with a giggle and a hug.

This was why he appreciated the one-and-done quality of the apple cider vinegar. With a final wince he poured the contents of the salt into his mouth to dissolve on his tongue. The expression he held was one of disgust and disdain as he rested his head on a hand and looked utterly miserable.

Atticus rubbed his back generously, but when that repulsed expression, large lips turned down and eyebrows lowered pitifully, turned toward them they couldn’t help but snicker. When Otto whimpered as if hurt by their mirth, they leaned into his side affectionately. He spared an arm to wrap around them and they were rewarded by feeling fully one of his fading hiccups with their whole body. They involuntarily sighed in contentment, the sensation of his ribs expanding on their shoulder and his belly pushing softly against their chest and upper abdomen felt unspeakably good.

Herman returned with Atticus’ card and two receipts, “here's your- uhh,” she paused as he witnessed Otto’s expression. They tried to stop the amused laughter that wanted to burst out, “o-one se-hehe-ec, dawlings.” She turned around trying to regain their composure, but everyone could notice their shoulders shaking with muffled laughter. They weren't used to hiding their laughter from others, heck, he'd laugh right in someone's face. However, while they were working, he tried to control himself.

Otto simply gave them a deadpan look as the salt taste started to lessen more and more in their mouth. Atticus, on the other hand, giggled openly.

“Aww, but your face is so funny when you eat something you don’t like,” Atticus cooed to ease Otto’s exhaustion at being teased. “At least you bring joy? Boop!” They’d poked his nose with the tip of their index finger.

He rolled his eyes in response, finally breaking a smile as his body still jumped with hiccups, but they were much tamer than before.

Once they'd finally gathered enough of their composure, Herman turned around, clearing their throat. “Ahem, um, erm, s-sorry about that, caught me off guard there, heh.”

“It’s okay, he doesn’t appreciate the comedic timing of his face,” Atticus said quickly, laughing.

Continuing on with his spiel, “here's your rece-” suddenly, they were interrupted by an onslaught of quick-paced hiccups, one after the other, “hick!hup!hu'uck!hip!HOLP!” She blushed and covered their mouth, “shit, hulp!ic!hi'ilp!ip!UP!-ugh.”

Tele.machus and Dorian both stared at Herman in shock.

“Oh no…” Atticus whispered with a gasping swallow. These kinds of hiccups were their kryptonite.

“Oh my gosh…” Tel muttered, bouncing his leg even more. “They're soooo fast…”

“Fuck,” Dorian blinked, clearing their throat, “uh, y-you okay?”

“Yeah…happens hiccilp!hilp!huckuck!UCK!-ugh, when I try covering my laughter,” Herman admitted, their hand on their chest as another cluster made her bounce dramatically.

“Jee–eeze,” Otto muttered. This, he was sure, is what other people felt when they watched him hiccup. His hiccups had calmed down so much now that he almost forgot to drink the lemon juice. He picked it up as he watched in mild concern and amazement until he felt Atticus’ body separate from his and looked toward them as they stood, all the attention of the table garnered by the ferocity of Herman’s hiccups.

“Hey,” Atticus whispered quickly to Otto as they skittered off the seat, “hey, I gotta-um-I gotta find a bathroom? I’ll be back. You can-can sign for me? The check? Give her a big tip, kay? Okay. Drink the-ough-lemon juice! I’m ju–oof.”

Otto watched them leave to ask where the bathroom was until his head whipped back around at Dorian’s voice.

Dorian eyed the rest of the peanut butter from earlier. He grabbed the container and handed it to them, “here, you can have the rest of this- well, maybe not the part that's been used.”

“That wa–as me,” Otto said guiltily. “Sorry-hip!”

The sound of the tiny hiccup reminded him of the lemon juice and he shot the sour liquid easily, loving the tartness and taste of the acidic fruit.

Herman smiled and took it, shrugging at Otto's confession, “than-nk!nk!hngk!hnk!HINGK!-guh, thank you. And no holp!hop!hok!huckolp!UCK!-ngh worries!”

Without wasting another moment, she scooped up the untouched section of the peanut butter and sucked his fingers free of the tasty treat.

Tele.machus tried not to lose his mind over how undeniably sexy that action was.

Once his fingers were clean, Herman waited a moment before feeling his diaphragm jolt again, but not in huge clusters. He sighed, seeming content with the results.

“Sorry, hilp!hick! they don't truly hickip! go away til they wanna hup!hu'uck! Peanut butter slows ‘em down though,” Herman explained before going back to their original spiel.

“Ple-heek!-please bear with me through these,” Herman smiled somewhat embarrassedly, but trying to fake confidence through it, “here's the receipt, hilpup! just need a signature fo-hop!HOLP!-uh, for one of them, the other is yours to keep.” She turned to Dorian and Tele.machus, but before they could say what they were about to, Dorian spoke up.

“W-wait a second…receipts?” They asked, looking for Atticus, shaking their head, “oh that sneaky minx! Nuh-huh, I will cash-app them the money, once I find out how much our portion was…”

“I’ll take that!” Otto announced, voice just a little hoarse from his previous hiccups. He cleared his throat at the dryness before taking a drink of his and Atticus’ shared mocha dregs. He wrote down a sizable tip, signed it, and handed it back.

“Married. Shared account,” he explained as he clicked the pen sassily. He also made sure neither Dorian nor Tele.machus saw the receipt copy to figure out their portion by balling it up and putting it in his pocket.

“Otto…how much was our portion?” Dorian raised an eyebrow. “I'm serious, neither of you need to pay for us, we can handle it.”

“Hey-hey,” Otto said, shaking his head. “This isn’t about charity. This isn’t because you need us to help. We like you. So just let us cover this one, huh? Besides, adopting a dog isn’t cheap. Consider this part of the dog fund.”

Dorian smiled, “thank you so much, seriously. But if we all ever hang out again, it's on us.”

Herman continued as he took the receipt back, reading the tip portion and her eyes widened, “holy sh-IC!-it, man, you serious!? Thank you kmp!ickup! so much!”

“You’re welcome,” Otto said, blinking slowly with a smile. “You’ve got a good thing going here in this place. The dogs need this. Plus, we like your makeup.”

Herman gasped, “aww heekulp!hip! that is so-holk!hup! sweet of you, daw-HAUP!-mm, dawling, thank y–you.”

Dorian swallowed thickly, “yeah, I was actually going to ask you for tips on how to perfect it.”

“Practice,” Herman announced, “lots hu'ulp! and lots hick'm! of practice..hip!hup!..and those hulp!hulp'k!-guh paper guide-huckuck!-guidelines, uh..hmp!..what's it ca–alled? Like tho-hup!kup!-those sten-hnkgm!-jeez, stencils.”

Dorian nodded, “I'll look into those, thank you.”

Herman smiled, “of co–ourse, happy t-hiup!-to help.”

“An-nk!-yway, Den-nk!hngk!‐nis is on their way back from hmp!kmp! walking some of the other herkuck!HUP! dogs, so they should be back in about five minutes,” Herman explained, “sorr-HEE!-oof, sorry for the wait, dawlings.”

“I-it's, um, it's okay…we're willing to wait for this cutie,” Dorian smiled and continued petting Copper with one hand and Tele.machus’ hair with the other, using them both as distractions.

“Excellent!” Herman smiled and clapped his hands before turning to Otto, “any luck with those HICK!-cups?” They chuckled softly. “Guess I'm one to talk now, huh‐hulp!-uh?”

“Gone!” Otto exclaimed. He was speaking too excitedly. He was trying to distract himself from Atticus’ probable actions in the bathroom they’d no doubt found at this point. “Sugar, salt, lemon. It works almost every time! How’s that laughing at my mouth-full-of-salt face treating you?”

Otto gave them a sly grin.

“Sorry,” Otto added with a wince. “I couldn’t help it. You good, though, kid?”

‘Kid’ had become a nearly reflexive term of endearment at this point, but he was nearly certain Herman looked suitably younger than himself.

Herman nodded with a smirk, “no, I definitely hic'p!hnk'l! deserve that, but your face was so hup! funny, I couldn't help it. But yeah, I'm okay n-nk!hnkulp!-now that they've slowed down himpk!hm'mpk!-mm.” He rubbed their chest at the higher pitched hiccups at the end.

“I get hiccups a lot like those first ones you had when I try to hold my breath,” Otto said. “And your hiccups now sound a lot like mine do normally. I know they can get exhausting. Not to mention not being able to take a full breath for a while, y’know? A nice hot cup of tea and a shower is honestly amazing after those kinds of bouts. My partner does great massages. And I do pilates, but something to sort of relax those muscles? The ones on your side at your ribs that keep jerking? And my neck, damn, do you get a sore neck after hiccups? Sorry, I know that sounds weird. I’m a semi-frequent hiccuper. I mean, obviously. You saw. Anyway.”

Otto shook his head at his babbling.

Herman raised their eyebrows curiously, “really, huh hyup! holding my breath does nothing to cure them, but to make ‘em m'gmp! worse? That's wild! Sparkling water and soda usually speed the-hep!herp'k!-these bad boys up…so does laughing, as you c–could probably guess, since that's what cau-hauk!-aused this. Heh-HICK!-oops.” She patted her chest before continuing on to answer his question.

Shaking their head, “it's n–nk!-not weird, just hiccups.” Not that Dennis would think they're ‘just hiccups.’ He hoped they'd be back soon so he can tease them playfully about them. “But, um-mk'mm! honestly? I feel it a lo-holk!huop!-lot in my chest afterwards. They don't la-hip!-last long enough to where it becomes troublesome though.” She shrugged.

“Yeah, I get that chest tightness. I’ll have days where I’ll have them off and on all day. I don’t really mind them all that much. But if they’re particularly deep or fast, they definitely sorta kick my ass, y’know?” Otto said and chuckled, rubbing his sternum at the tightness he’d mentioned earlier. “Anyway, I’m taking up your time. Thanks for the lemon juice, really saved my ass. Well-my diaphragm technically but-you know. The vinegar…was very educational. Probably not gonna try that again!”

His eyes widened pointedly in amusement and he laughed.

Herman smiled and nodded, “nah, you're goo-huck!-ood! We've got a whole hour before we ten-ngk!-tend to get busy. But yeah, totally feel that hmpk! They definitely didn't sound soft at a-hulkuck!‐all. I'm glad I could help a cool guy stop his hic-KUP!-hiccups, heh. Now if only mine wou-huggulk!-uh, would stop.” She chanced a small giggle that resulted in a longer cluster of, “huck!hup!hungk!hickolp!huckulk!HIPULP!-guh, ‘scuse me-HEEP!”

“Oof,” Otto said empathetically and then shrugged, “To be fair, I didn’t exactly make wise choices to prevent them from being a rougher ride. If I’m already hiccuping, bread is my biggest enemy. But, dammit, that coffee cake is delicious. So you all hold at least part of the blame for making it so good! Heh.”

Herman raised an eyebrow, “nuh-hulk!hungk!hulkup!ULP!-whew, nuh-uh. We di-hick!hip'k!hi'ILP!-uh, didn't force it dow–—UCK!‐own your throat, dawling.” She placed a hand on their chest as they rode through another partially muffled cluster. He continued afterwards, “that was a choice huckolp!hickuck!hip!hilp!IP!-” He abandoned the playful banter to attempt taking a breath, though it was interrupted twice on the inhale, twice on the exhale. She regretted giggling at himself. He scooped up some more peanut butter and again, sucked it off of his fingers.

Otto laughed a little at the blame-shifting. The barista certainly wasn’t wrong. He winced in empathy to the hiccups though as he put a hand on his own chest knowing how that must feel to struggle through.

“Fair point,” Otto responded as he rubbed his face. “I’m very good at deflecting. Every other relationship I’ve had proves that!”

Dorian whispered to Tele.machus, “dude, the way they eat peanut butter-”

“Soooo sexy, right?” Tele.machus muttered back, hiding his face in their shoulder. “Gosh, how have I lasted so long? Feels like I'm about to explode…implode?...both, probably, gahhhh.” His leg continued to bounce, anything to distract himself.

“You and me both, hun,” Dorian rubbed his back, “but we can do this, yeah? Pet Copper, she's been a big help.”

Tele.machus nodded and started petting Copper, taking some nice deep breaths and trying to ignore the sensations happening to his body every time he'd hear Herman’s hiccups.

“Oh, and if I laugh it makes them worse, too,” Otto continued. “And when you have Atticus as a partner, you’re pretty much guaranteed to laugh at least once during every conversation.”

They'd nodded in agreement of laughter making them worse as the hiccups slowed back down after a moment, the peanut butter proving to be a worthy opponent to their hiccups. Herman rubbed her chest, “sorry about that. Huckulp! But aww, that sounds nice higgurp!-ooh, pardon.” They patted their chest as another small burp erupted from him, “whew, sometimes they hicgmp!himp!-uh, make me ga-HI'olp!-gassy.”

“Same thing with me!” Otto exclaimed as he propped his head on his hand with interest. Rarely did he get a chance to talk to someone else prone to hiccups.

They muffled another gurgly hiccup-burp behind her fist before continuing. “But, uh, the regular vineg-urk! did nothing for you, huh? That was huck!uck! probably an unpleasant experience…vinegar is disgu-huckuh!-disgusting, blegh.” They stuck out their tongue, revealing a golden stud tongue piercing.

“Cool,” Dorian saw the tongue piercing and their jaw dropped in awe, “dude, that is so cool! Did it hurt?”

Otto pinched his lips on replying when Dorian commented and furrowed his brow in interest at the answer.

Herman tilted her head before remembering the piercing on his tongue, “oh, yeah, a li-hippup!-little hickup!HOLP!-ugh. But to—otally worth it.” They winked.

Dorian chuckled softly before nodding. He'd been considering getting their tongue pierced for a while, but he was a little scared about how painful it would be.

“Yeah, that vinegar was actually terrible,” he said of the failed cure with a stern nod and then laughed. “Heh, probably if you’d seen that face, the salt face would’ve been tame in comparison!”

Herman smiled, “aww ma–an, I bet that would've bro-hock!-broke me. No offen-nk!hnkm!-offense, but I probably would've laughed in your fa-HAUP!-face, erm, sorry.” They blushed slightly, a little embarrassed.

“None taken.” Otto smiled. “If mild torture inspires a giggle, I’ll take the hit so someone else can smile. Then again, I am kind of a masochist. One of my most endearing qualities.” He winked.

Herman snorted, “hngk'l!gmp!ngk!HUGK!-uh, you gotta sto-hop!holp!-stop being so funny hick!hickuh!HICKuck!-whew.” She patted their chest, a bit winded.

“Oof! Sorry…don’t know the strength of my own bad jokes!” he said.

Tele.machus rhythmically tapped his fingers on the table in a new way to distract himself. Even though Dorian and Otto's hiccups were both gone, he couldn't help but still hear them in his mind, alongside Herman's constant hiccuping. Melting into a puddle was sounding more and more appealing by the second.

Dorian noticed him being quiet and gently tapped his arm, producing a quiet squeak from his boyfriend as well as a shiver. Tele.machus was quite sensitive to any touch right now it seemed. They whispered to him, “you okay? Need a breather?”

Tele.machus whined quietly and nodded, “y-yeah…I'm just, uh, gonna step outside for a bit…call me when Dennis gets here?”

Tele.machus already made his way out of the seat and out to the exit before Dorian so much as uttered an agreeing word. Herman raised an eyebrow curiously at his quick departure, “was it something I said? hick'm!”

“No, nope, he just, uh…” Dorian blinked, trying to quickly think up an excuse, “needed to make a phone call.”

Herman nodded, “gotcha. Well, it was a pleasure hi'ulp!hulp! to be your barista slash server. I hope hmpmp! you enjoyed your time here, dawlings.” They smiled widely, showing off their gap tooth again as he hiccuped silently, her head tucking in.

“Good luck with the hiccups!” Otto called as she left. As soon as they were out of sight and hearing distance he snapped his head to Dorian. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, I think he just needed some air,” Dorian reassured him. “I'm sure he was feeling a bit…overstimulated by hearing three cases of hiccups so close together. He just needs a minute to cool down.” They nodded as he pet Copper to avoid his own thoughts wandering to the events of today.

“Mm, yeah, Atticus had to…go to the bathroom…to relieve some tension, I think,” Otto said casually. But there was no doubt about it. Atticus was definitely relieving tension. And Otto was desperately trying not to think about it.

Dorian nodded, “I get it.” They did. If it wasn't for this dog in their lap, they felt like they would lose their crap. Copper truly was the best distraction.

The pour over coffee was cool now, but it was still tasty as he sipped it.

“Heeeey there,” Atticus said as they finally sauntered back in looking quite a bit more relaxed than they had before. “Um, where’s Tel?”

Otto seemed to relax as well when Atty came back. He put his hand over theirs when the writer draped it on his chest as they positioned themselves behind him. He took a deep breath as he rubbed their hand and arm gratefully.

“Lovebirds,” Dorian smirked, “no seriously, yall are adorable lovebirds. But Telly had to take a breather outside. He was kinda…overstimulated. Breathing in fresh air helps him a lot.”

“I definitely get the overstimulated thing,” Atticus said with an animated nod then whispered, “Herman’s hiccups kind of did me in. Sort of the proverbial straw, man.”

Otto chuckled, “Why do you think I hold my breath sometimes?” He grinned up at them and said in a low voice, “I know your hiccup-type.”

Atty moaned and covered their face before burying their face in Otto’s shoulder instead as he continued to laugh.

Dorian chuckled softly and smiled kindly, “understandable, it all makes sense. I mean…their hiccups were something else. And Otto, if your breath holding results to hiccups of that speed…then Atticus, you are one lucky person to have met up with him and married him.”

The writer felt their neck warm up even more with Dorian’s comment.

“However,” Atticus said, voice muffled by their husband’s shoulder as they still refused to look up, “I think you and Tel have us beat on the whole adorable thing.” They finally tilted their head up, glasses fogged from being compressed with their breath on Otto’s body. “Seriously, you two are disgusting in the best possible way.”

“Oh yeah!” Otto agreed enthusiastically. “Really gross. We don’t hold a candle, trust me.”

Dorian blushed slightly, “awww, you guys…we may be disgustingly cute, but I'll have to admit, you're my second favorite couple with all of your adorableness.”

“Aw thanks!” Atticus flopped their head next to Otto and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled, Atty feeling the prickles of his beard on their stubbled chin.

“Actually I prefer second-best,” Otto said. “First place is too much pressure!”

“Agree to that,” Dorian chuckled a bit, “try telling that to my dad, though.” They shook his head, knowing how much pressure was put on him and his siblings when it came to academics or sports.

“Oof, that sounds rough, kid,” Otto said with a frown. “You know, I didn’t have that specifically growing up, but I had a lot of expectations to, well, to act ‘normal’. I was a pretty…uh…well, I was a pretty weird kid. I was loud and disruptive and passionate about things other kids weren’t passionate about. And I was taught that was bad and made the family look bad, too. Let’s just say my methods of dealing with those feelings weren’t exactly…healthy. But you’ll be good sticking with someone like Tele.machus. And having friends outside of family. That shit will literally save your life.”

Dorian frowned, “that sucks, man. Normal's fricking boring as hell, and sooo overrated, parents just don't understand that. I bet they weren't ‘normal’ when they were kids…hypocritical, I mean…where do they think we get it from? It's genetics.” Then they blinked in realization, “wait- I'm adopted…no genetics.” He shrugged, “my point still stands, though.”

“Parents,” Atticus said as they hugged Otto tighter, “are the first to fuck you up. And they fuck you up the most.”

“They’re a poet,” Otto said with humor at first. “No, but really! An author! Published and everything.”

Dorian's eyes lit up, “seriously? That's so cool! Okay, I neeeed to know some of your books so I can show support!”

Atty squirmed a little.

“Who hates when I tell people they’re an author, sorry.”

“It’s fine. It’s-I’m okay. I’m decent. I get some income. Okay, enough of that!” Atty said.

“I’ll send you a link to their stuff,” Otto said to Dorian with a hand on the table toward them.

Dorian smiled and handed over their phone after unlocking it, “Cool, thanks, man. Love having some new summer reading books.”

Atticus, seeming neither offended nor engaged, completely ignored this interaction.

“Hey,” Otto said with a thought. “But going back to the ‘normal’ thing. And the why’s of that. Listen, I’ve been in therapy for a while now. One thing that’s taught me is when people haven’t dealt with their own shit.” He poked an index finger into the surface of the table to emphasize the point. “When they have parts about themselves they never liked or they were told to not like, they pass that on to their kids whenever they see them expressing those things.”

Dorian nodded throughout his spiel, showing they were listening.

“I don’t think that matters if you’re biologically related or not. The stuff they feel like they failed at or still work to control gets seen like a beacon in their kids. Shit that Oli-the person who birthed me saw in me that she didn’t like wasn’t about me. It was about her need to be seen as a good mom and someone who was in control. I was standing in the way of her obsession for perfectionism. I get that now. Even till the day she died she couldn’t see me as someone worth loving for being me. That’s just the way it was.”

Atticus rubbed Otto’s shoulder as they heard a little thickness in his voice. He swallowed and nodded, as if confirming he was okay.

Dorian frowned, looking concerned. Though, seeing him nodding helped them decipher that he would be okay.

“Thing is,” Otto continued, “You having people in your life who see you the way you are and love you no matter what is gonna be what helps you through anything. That’s why I said having friends-found family, I guess-is life-saving. When I got that,” he pointed down to the table again, demonstratively, “I was able to deal with so much of what she told me when I was a kid. So…yeah. Sorry for that…trauma dump thing.”

Dorian had to swallow a lump in their own throat, “holy shit, man…” he wiped his own wet eyes with his hand, “I…no, you're good, thank you for sharing, um…my dad sounds…somewhat similar. Kinda? I-I mean…he was fine until the accident with my older brother Poly. Someone hurt him, he was blinded, and once that happened, my dad became obsessed with finding the guy who did this, completely ignoring us in the meantime…except when me or Chary, my little sibling, would bring back report cards that weren't up to par. He'd ground us for weeks if we got a C or below. Chary was able to pull up its grades, but me?” They looked away, scratching at his arm. “I, um, was so worried about Poly's injury, I wasn't able to study enough to get A's. And well…I guess my dad was unhappy with me prioritizing caring for my big brother vs school grades and…”

They shrugged, biting their bottom lip and glancing back towards Otto and Atticus with glistening eyes, “shit, sorry, now I'm trauma dumping…um, sorry, didn't mean to, uh, respond to your trauma dump with my trauma.” He looked down at the table, eyes blurring more as they started picking with his fingernails, thinking he'd completely messed up.

Otto took another sip of his coffee, relishing the taste still being good even after it was cold as he listened intently and gave undivided attention to Dorian’s story. Swallowing the coffee helped counteract the prickles of emotion tickling his lower lids. At the end, as Dorian apologized, he tilted his head toward the young person with a soft smile.

“Hey kid,” he said softly. “I started this whole trauma dump thing, so try not to take all the credit for it, huh? I’d come over there and hug you but Copper is doing a pretty good job with that. Care if I grab your hand for a sec, though?”

Otto held his hand out for Dorian’s consent before he continued.

Dorian looked up at Otto and nodded, giving Otto their hand as the other hand kept stroking Copper's back. “Thank you, Otto. Though…I will take a rain check on that hug.” They chuckled softly and sniffled. “I-if that's okay, of course.”

“Heh, I do that finger picking thing too. I used to bite my cuticles pretty bad, too. Some of my nails are still pretty messed up from it, see?” he said as he turned his hand to show him his index finger and thumb finger and their slightly warped nail beds. “Anyway. I know you can’t feel this now, but I hope you know rationally at least that none of your dad’s actions or…how he interacts with you has anything to do with you not achieving something. And I hope, in the future, he’s able to express his love for you healthily. Cause you deserve that. Until then know us two old queers are more than happy to support you emotionally.”

Dorian raised their eyebrows, “really? Like…seriously? You just met me and…you'd really just…” they couldn't even finish his thoughts before Atty interjected.

“Yeah, vro,” Atty said as they stretched out their hand to offer a second embrace on top of Otto’s. “We got you. Besides, we’re kind of collecting baby queers. It’s like the universe said, ‘I see you’ve not got a uterus, here lemme provide a substitute.’ I mean, I love it. You think I’m actually smart.”

Dorian broke into a wet chuckle, a couple of tears finally escaping from both eyes. They wiped them with the back of his free hand before holding Atty's hand as well. “S'cuz you are smart…”

“You are,” Otto said.

“See? This guy. Soul of a kid!” Atticus pointed to Otto with their thumb.

Otto scoffed, smiled, and shook his head before turning back to Dorian.

“Anyway, if you need to talk to someone and Tele.machus or another friend isn’t available, give me a text, okay? If you need help understanding something you’d normally call on your dad for but you’re nervous about his reaction, I can do my best, okay? I’m not gonna replace your dad, but I guess I can be an old guy you know will accept you no matter what,” Otto said.

Dorian sniffled and nodded, sniffling more as more tears fell. He swallowed another lump in his throat, “y-yeah, that'd be really nice. Cuz my gosh, love my dad, but…sometimes…just sometimes.” They shook their head. He took a deep breath, “but, um…yeah, I would like that very much.” He smiled and gently squeezed Otto's hand.

“Like a Guncle. Gay Uncle. We can be your Guncles. I’ll have shirts made,” Atty said enthusiastically.

“Please don’t…” Otto pleaded, knowing it wouldn’t stop them.

Dorian chuckled, “yes! Yes, please! That'd be awesome. And I can have one that reads ‘I love my Guncles’. Hehe!”

“With our pictures on it!!” Atticus all but shouted.

Otto winced at the loudness and whimpered a little, “Please, no? I’m not very photogenic…”

“Neither of us are! It will be glorious!” Atty said not quite as loud as before.

“I’m not gonna win this, am I?” Otto said with a bit of misery, though somewhat exaggerated.

“You are not,” Atticus confirmed.

Dorian giggled and bounced excitedly at the idea as Dennis returned to their table after a while, “sup? Sorry, Herm caught me while I was walking a few of the others. They said you were interested in adoption?”

Dorian raised their hand and nodded, “yeah, me and Tel are interested in little Copper, but he just stepped out. Let me go get him…” he frowned at his predicament. They'd have to move Copper from his lap, regardless of how comfy she looked. “Awww, sorry sweetheart, I gotta go get your future papa.”

They sadly and gently put her down before standing up to go find his boyfriend. Once he'd left though, Copper started whining, wanting to follow them, but the leash wouldn't let her leave.

Dennis frowned, “wow…she's really in love with him, huh?” He glanced at the older couple before she heard a familiar sound coming from the coffee bar.

Looking over towards the direction, they saw Herman smirking at her as they'd jolted with their hiccups. Dennis blushed and quickly looked away, muttering an expletive in Spanish.

Atticus squinted at Dennis then looked at Otto. Otto looked back up at Atty with a similar suspicion. But it was quite possible they were both projecting.

“Yeah,” Atty said, a little distracted by the witnessed interaction. “Yeah, Copper’s really taken a shining to Dorian. No pun intended. Cause…copper.”

Dennis deadpanned and shook their head, “no…just no.”

Tele.machus would've definitely appreciated the pun had he been there to witness it.

Atticus just grinned a bit impishly.

Otto mulled over his words, after rolling his eyes at Atty’s mirth, before finally asking, “So…are you and Herman…together? Just-don’t feel like you have to answer that! Of course. Not my business at all.”

Dennis looked back towards Otto, “huh? Oh, um, not exactly. We're just besties…with benefits.” She smiled shyly as they scratched her arm, trying to ignore the hiccups that Herman was clearly not hiding from her.

They weren't lying, but they also weren't telling the full truth. Over time, he had fallen hard for Herman, but was terrified to pursue due to his traumatic past relationships. He didn't want to ruin a good thing and their heart couldn't take too much more damage.

Without intending to, both Atticus and Otto nodded their heads in the same slow mildly disbelieving way to Dennis’ response and both, again without the plan of simultaneous reaction, responded with drawn out one-worded reactions.

“Yeaaah,” Otto said at the same time Atticus drawled, “Riiight…”

Dennis blushed more and hugged their arm, scratching it gently, “really…it's nothing more than that, strictly platonic.” She bit her lip nervously, smudging their lipstick slightly.

They looked at each other sheepishly before looking back to Dennis.

“Um-” Otto said, stammering a little.

“B-besties with benefits sounds…nice?” Atticus said, turning their question to Otto’s knowledge of the subject.

“Yeah! Yes. Yup. Very rewarding!” Otto nodded too enthusiastically.

“Hence the word ‘benefit’! That indicates reward! A…benefit,” Atticus said, finishing the sentence a little lamely.

Dennis nodded, “yeah, it's definitely rewarding…” They risked a glance at Herman, seeing him going through another cluster. He shivered slightly, sniffing as she messed with his hair. “V-very rewarding indeed.” They turned to Atticus, tilting his head curiously, “have you…never heard of friends with benefits?”

“Oh, yeah yeah!” Atticus nodded with a wave of their hand. “The sex thing, right? I mean, yeah. It’s a thing. I’m asexual. I mean, Otto and I still…have fun.”

Otto nodded emphatically.

“But,” Atty continued, “I mean…when I think of a friend with a benefit I think more like my bestie has a pool they’ll let me use. Or they have a better media system. Or they can cook really well. Just sex seems underwhelming. In…most cases…”

Atticus casually patted a little further down on Otto’s body on top of where his diaphragm was in a gesture they assumed only them, Otto, and the kids would understand the significance of. Otto smiled up at them.

Dennis nodded and looked away, “yeah…I mean…” she lowered her voice, “we definitely have sex, but…there's more of a connection between us…that's why we consider it besties…Herm's been a constant throughout my life when I met them years ago…I honestly don't know what I'd do without him…”

Again, the writer was trying not to project their hiccup fetish onto Dennis, despite their reactions to Herman’s hiccups being specifically suspicious to a person with a hic kink.

“I sort of get that,” Otto said as he smiled up at Atticus.

“Pretty sure I’d still be in a crappy apartment with a broken clock without you,” Atticus said. “Not that relationships have to be romantic to be valid. I mean, hell, pretty sure I’m demi at best. What is romance anyway but the marketing of an undefinable emotional connection by corporations to sell greeting cards, chocolate, wedding ceremonies and make babies so they can sell cheap mass produced plastic toys, health insurance, and higher education?”

Otto chuckled nervously, “Despite outward appearances, I tend to be the ray of sunshine to their cynicism.”

Atty snorted.

Dennis smirked, “honestly? I feel that. It can be a bit much. Life ain't like a Disney movie, I'll tell you that much. Been through a bunch of relationships, and let me tell ya, it isn't as pretty as people think…trust me.” They stared at the table in thought for a moment.

Otto let a strong breath out from his mouth with widening eyes, “Oh man. Do I know all about that. Hard to even want to be friends with anyone after something like that.”

But Otto stopped himself. He’d already dumped so much trauma on unsuspecting people today. No need to continue the trend with an employee.

“Well,” Atticus said, picking up Otto’s hesitation of continuing. “It’s good to have someone like Herman, then.”

Dennis blinked and snapped out of it, nodding, “ye-yeah…Hermie's definitely been better than anyone I've ever been in love with…they're sweet, and funny, and charming, and gosh he's so freaking hot, and also so…freaking taken.”

They glanced over to Herman to see her face light up at the person who'd just entered the café. Watching as he'd moved around the bar to greet his partner with a kiss on the cheek, Dennis slumped before looking back at the table.

Even better, Atty thought, her having such amazing hiccups. The writer was happy they’d satiated themselves in the bathroom or they’d still be squirming as Herman’s unrelenting hiccups were audible from the coffee bar.

It took a second for Atticus to understand what was happening and why Herman seemed so familiar with the other person who’d just entered. The writer had followed Dennis’ eyeline when she’d looked back toward the bar. Then Dennis’ words finally clicked.

Atticus met Otto’s eyes briefly then watched Dennis’ body take on a dejected shape before it rebounded.

“Oh…” Atty’s mouth worked on more words, but none of them made it out verbally.

“Um…” Otto supplied ‘helpfully’. “Well…there are other fish in the sea…”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Atticus exclaimed with a laugh.

“I…what? …sorry,” Otto finally said, admitting the line was so cliché it was almost insulting.

“Listen, Dennis. Relationships are stupid,” Atty said bluntly. “But here’s the thing. You and Herman really dig each other. And, I’m just gonna assume Herman’s a pretty good person and that their partner knows about the openness of the relationship? Companionship doesn’t have to be one way or the other, vro! It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Love can be any shape you want it to be. There are so many ways to have someone in your life who you…love!

“But you obviously like this gal a lot or you wouldn’t be standing here in front of your customers doing that puppy dog eye thing. And that pun was completely accidental, trust me,” they interrupted themselves to explain. “Just because she’s shacked up with someone doesn’t mean it’s not worth it to tell her your feelings! I dunno. Maybe in this era of openness about multiple partners and stuff there’s a place for you in his…relationship scope of…people?”

Otto frowned in thought before he spoke, “But, you know, we’re complete strangers who have literally just met you all and perhaps shouldn’t be giving unsolicited relationship advice as we are both pretty ill-equipped in that area from the get-go?”

“I-uh,” Atticus stammered, suddenly self-aware. “Or, that. That’s also true. Sorry, we were kind of on a roll with the whole Dorian and being elder-gay role models thing…got kind of carried away…”

“It's alright…a-and appreciated, really,” Dennis nodded to them both, “but I don't know how to possibly even start that conversation. And I don't even know if we should even try. I've, um…been hurt before- not that I think Herm would hurt me…at least, not in the beginning…I'd probably mess up somehow and then he'd hate me just like all my other exes did…but um, ehem…enough about me, sorry.”

They felt they'd already talked too much and she didn't want to accidentally get triggered. He didn't want to make his customers worry about them and she knew his…episodes could be hard to handle.

Atticus opened their mouth to say something else but Otto waved his hand in front of them sensing something very familiar in Dennis’ face. There was a shiver in her features that he recognized from having felt the same sort of emotions in his worst of times. There was something about their posture he related to having experienced himself as well. And, from having been around those suffering from PTSD for years, he squinted at the familiarity of it all.

“No problem,” Otto said easily. “Don’t worry about it, seriously. I’m just wondering where those kids have gotten to, honestly.”

Though Atty wasn’t picking up exactly what Otto was sensing, they were picking up on what Otto was feeling himself and they felt encouraged to follow suit.

“Yeah! Uh, yeah! They’ve been gone for a while, right? If they’re gone for much longer, dibs on Copper!” Atticus said.

“Um…no?” Otto said.

“Or not,” Atticus amended.

Dennis presented a small smile, quietly chuckling, “I'm sure they'll be back soon…though, I don't think Copper's going to accept just anybody at this point.”

He smiled sadly at the way Copper was watching for any signs of Dorian returning, slightly whimpering in the process.

Though they didn't have to wait much longer since Tele.machus and Dorian returned, getting back into their seats.

“Sorry it took so long,” Tele.machus apologized. “Took me a while to convince my parents to take Copper in for a week or two…and then Dorian came by and distracted me…”

“S'not my fault you're just so kissable, honey,” Dorian chuckled and kissed his cheek.

Copper caught a whiff of Dorian and her tail started wagging a mile a minute, jumping up on him. Dorian giggled and happily petted her, “awww, hi sweetheart, you miss me?”

Dennis smiled at the reunion, “she very much did. But anyway, I'll just give you the spiel I give everyone. Adoption fees include their updated vaccinations, vet visits, as well as partial cost for what we originally paid our breeder. Now, for Copper, she's a bit of a special case. We rescued her from a neglectful home she'd run away from about a year ago. Artie found a number on her old collar, left a voicemail, and no one ever called back. She called them every day for a week before she realized the owners didn't really care…”

Dorian frowned at the story, petting Copper more, “oh my gosh, poor girl…”

Dennis frowned and nodded solemnly, “yeah, right? There are truly some cruel people in the world. If you couldn't handle the dog- sorry, ranting.” She shook herself out of it, “a-anyway, that being said, the whole partial breeder cost is taken off for rescues, so here would be your payment plan options or if you want to pay the full price, that's also an available option.” He hands them a laminated pricing sheet with the available options.

Tele.machus and Dorian both studied it, the former commenting, “oh, that's actually not so bad…”

“Would we be able to maybe put down a deposit and pick her up sometime next week?” Dorian asked.

“Yeah, you have 14 days to pick her up, starting on the day you pay the deposit,” Dennis explained. “The deposit would be half of the full price or half of whatever payment plan you choose.”

“You guys are very accommodating,” Tele.machus noted with a smile.

“Of course, when it comes to the dogs-” Dennis flinched at a particularly loud hiccup coming from Herman. He promptly ignored them. “S-sorry, when it comes to the dogs, we're just grateful whenever people want to adopt so we make it as seamless as possible.”

To be fair, Atticus had sort of flinched at the hiccup, too.

As did Tele.machus and Dorian, but Tele.machus buried his head in Dorian's shoulder and petted Copper as a distraction.

“So…this all sounds pretty decent,” Otto said with an impressed nod.

“Yeah,” Atticus said as they looked toward Tele.machus, “and your family’s cool with keeping Copper for a bit?”

Tele.machus sat back up, smiled, and then nodded, “yeah! I called them while I was outside and they were alright with it. They even mentioned we could bring her home today if we wanted.”

“Then I'll just have to convince my dad…” Dorian planned nervously.

“And if you can't convince him, then it just gives you a reason to come over,” Tele.machus smiled and rubbed their arm sweetly.

“Yeah, guess you're right,” Dorian giggled and kissed his cheek before turning to Dennis, “can we use card? Or is it cash only?”

“Cash, card, checks, it's all good here,” Dennis informed them.

Tele.machus pulled out his card and handed it to Dennis, picking the most affordable payment plan. Dennis took the card and went to process it through.

This reminded Dorian of something. They gasped and turned to Tele.machus, pointing to Atticus, “they covered our bill and refused to tell me our portion.”

Tele.machus’ jaw dropped, “you serious?”

“Totally, but we gotta consider it as the dog fund,” Dorian chuckled softly and smiled.

Tele.machus smiled and turned to the older couple in front of him, “thank you…you really didn't have to do that…but next time it's our treat, deal?”

Atticus had finally moved to sit back beside Otto again after he whispered that he was getting a little warm with them draped over him while Dennis and the younger couple were chatting about financial details. The writer sat on their legs, as they often did at tables like this, to be able to lean on their elbows. They smiled now.

“Yeah-yeah,” they said, “Dorian’s already threatened us with revenge.”

Dorian nodded, “mmhm! If they pull something like this next time, I'm cash-app-ing them 100 dollars, regardless of what our portion is.”

“Oh, scandalous~” Tele.machus chuckled and kissed their cheek.

“Thank you,” Dorian smirked, “I thought it was a good idea.” He then ruffled Copper's fur. “I still can't believe we're seriously adopting this little cutie.”

“Mmhm,” Tele.machus smiled, covering up his yawn, the extra caffeine starting to catch up to him.

Otto laughed and shook his head.

“Here, lemme get a picture of the happy family,” Atty said as they pulled their phone out and aimed it at Dorian, Tele.machus, and Copper.

Tele.machus lit up as if he'd just recharged, “oooh, yeah! And we definitely need one with you guys too!”

“If that's okay with you both,” Dorian added as they shifted Copper to sit up for the picture.

Copper's tongue flopped to the side of her mouth, posing for the phone camera.

Atticus took one picture and then a couple more just in case. They giggled a little maniacally at Copper’s seeming pose. Tele.machus giggled, “cool, thank you! Don't forget to send that to me.”

“You're one to talk, silly,” Dorian ruffled Tele.machus’ hair, making him laugh.

Dennis returned with the receipt, but saw they were busy and waited patiently.

“Um…” Otto started with a stutter at the request for a picture.

“A picture? Yes!” Atticus hollered, “we can use it for the Guncles shirt!!”

“Yeah-okay. But my face-”

“Is gorgeous,” Atticus finished. They settled their hands on either side of that face giving them both a moment. “It is. You are. Is that okay? Can we have our pictures taken by these adorable baby queer kids and possibly immortalized on a t-shirt that reads ‘Your Guncles Love You’? It’s okay if it’s not okay. You can tell me.”

Otto looked into their eyes for a moment and then sighed.

“The picture is okay but…maybe not on a shirt?” Otto finally said with a hope to compromise.

“Okay,” Atticus said without hesitation. “But I’m going to do an artistic rendering of us, instead. That okay?”

Otto laughed a little and raised his eyebrows at them in amusement. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” Atticus said with a smile and gave him a little peck on the lips. “I love you.”

Otto smiled at the rare lip contact, “I love you, too.”

Then the clockmaker turned to the other couple with a look of hesitation.

“Just,” he said as he focused on relaxing his facial features, “gimme a second to calm down my eyes. They just…in pictures they look really wide…”

Atticus pulled him close and squished their cheek against his, having prop themselves on their knees to get to his level while sitting down.

Tele.machus beamed excitedly and nodded, “yeah, take as much time as you need.”

“Sorry to interject, but if you'd like, I can take one with all of you,” Dennis offered.

“Oh, that'd be awesome,” Dorian smiled and nodded before looking at his new Guncles, “if that's alright. I mean, whatever you're both comfortable with.”

Atticus looked at Otto questioningly. After a moment he sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, okay. That’s fine,” he finally relented. He chuckled when Atticus kissed his temple. Posed pictures weren’t his favorite thing, but seeing everyone so happy and excited convinced him to overcome the discomfort in order to save the memory.

Otto leaned into the picture and nodded to Dennis when he was ready.

Atticus had wanted the other dogs in the picture too, when they saw Reggie and Pitt sleeping together next to where they were tethered, they decided not to bring it up. They’d taken enough pictures of the dogs (and their husband) to have for later.

Tel handed his phone to Dennis with the camera all set. Then, he leaned into the group photo, Dorian smiling with a hand on his shoulder.

Tele.machus smiled at the phone as Dennis first snapped a selfie—they tended to do that just as a fun little thing. Then Dennis looked at everyone else, “on the count of three…1…2…3, smile!”

Tele.machus and Dorian both smiled at the phone.

Atticus and Otto leaned in, the writer wrapping an arm around their partner and him trying his best to make his face look pleasant enough to immortalize in a picture.

With a sigh of relief Otto leaned back out sacrificing whatever the result of the picture was to the digital gods of phone cameras.

“This has been really nice,” Otto said genuinely. “I’m glad this worked out and I got to see you again, Tele.machus. And it was really good to meet you Dorian. Congrats on the new addition to the family.”

“Yeah, and I’m just glad I got to finally meet the kid Otto couldn’t stop talking about a few months back. And see the person who got that watch! Plus, this place is really cool, man,” Atticus said.

Tele.machus nodded as Dennis handed back his phone, “yeah, this was really nice! And unexpected!” He smiled at them both, “next time, we should totally plan something.” He chuckled quietly and blushed slightly at allegedly living rent-free in Otto's head a few months back.

“Yeah, definitely!” Dorian agreed with a nod as they continued hugging Copper, who was licking their cheek, “we're practically free all summer. Plus, I definitely have to pick up my Guncle shirt whenever they're made.” He chuckled when Tele.machus gave him a confused look. They promised to tell him later.

Otto simply rolled his eyes with a good-natured smile to Atticus. Atty guffawed already brainstorming ideas on fonts and art designs.

“And it was really great to meet the guy behind the talent,” Dorian continued with a cheeky grin, “that Tele.machus was so excited to talk about when we first started dating…I guess I should probably thank you for talking some sense into him.”

“Ha!” Otto exclaimed. If someone had told him 20 years ago that he’d be the one talking sense into anyone, he’d have seriously questioned their grasp on reality.

“Doriiii,” Tele.machus blushed and covered his face.

“What?” Dorian looked at him, genuinely confused, “he was the one who told you to be honest and gave you the courage to ask me out, right?”

“Technically, you suggested we go out,” Tele.machus muttered.

“Tomato, tom-ah-to,” Dorian patted his head before they turned to Atticus, “and nice to meet you too! Always nice to meet more queer peeps.” He snorted at himself. “Sorry, dunno why I said peeps. It was the first thing that came to mind.”

“Agreed,” Tele.machus nodded and cleared his throat, “but, uh, thank you,” he chuckled, referring to the congratulations, “I didn't expect to be a father at 22.”

“Yeah, and me at 20,” Dorian snorted, “at least we can be recognized on Father's Day.”

“We’ll send you a card,” Otto interjected.

Tele.machus guffawed and covered his mouth at how loud it was, “You're so right, ha! Sorry, that was loud.”

“Embrace it, babe,” they gently nudged his shoulder before looking toward Atty and Otto, “anyway, we should, uh…probably get on the road. We're actually gonna take Copper home today so that she doesn't get separation anxiety…I did some reading and apparently they can develop that.”

“She was whining for you the entire time you were gone,” Dennis informed them as he'd started untangling the leashes from the poles the dogs were tethered to.

“Man, really?” Dorian slumped and petted Copper lovingly before putting his forehead on her back, “awww, don't worry, Copper, I'm gonna convince my dad so hard, he won't be able to say no.”

Tele.machus chuckled and ruffled their bangs, “I believe in you, Dori. And if he says no, then you can just move in with us so you two won't be separated.”

“That's an idea, but I haven't even met your parents yet,” Dorian chuckled and lifted their face to lean on Tele.machus' shoulder.

“You can meet them today when we drop her off,” Tele.machus told them, “I know we've only been dating for three and half months, so if you're not ready, I totally understand, but I'm sure they'll love you.”

Dorian pursed his lips to the side, “I'll think about it on the ride there.”

Tele.machus nodded and held their hand, “okay, no pressure if you're not ready. I'll still be here.”

“Listen, I didn’t find Otto until I was in my 30’s. You can pace yourselves a little,” Atticus said with a wink.

Tel smiled and nodded, “yeah…we can definitely take our time, hun. No rush.”

Dorian looked at him and smiled fondly, “okay…” they kissed his cheek.

“Alright,” Otto said with a grunt and a sigh as he stood, knees popping sympathetically. “Oof. Lemme get one more pet with Pitt before we go, huh? Then…oh man, what do you think of a nap when we get home? I could really use a nap.”

Tele.machus glanced at Reggie, who'd stirred at his leash being moved by Dennis. “Bye Reggie, you big, sweet, fluffy angel!” He planted his face into his body one more time, mumbling, “Telly loves you, and thank you for grounding me when I needed you.”

Reggie borfed softly, sloppily licking his shirt, making Tele.machus giggle at the show of affection.

Otto didn’t need to rouse the puppy as he happily put his front legs on his shins when he came toward him to bend down and let him lick his face. He scratched the puppy’s rump as Pitt wagged his tail excitedly.

“I swear, sometimes I think you are in your 80’s instead of your 40’s,” Atticus said.

Otto scoffed, pretending to be offended.

“Hey, now,” he said, “I put in some work today. That hiccuping took a lot out of me!”

Dennis’ eyes snapped toward Otto when he'd mentioned hiccuping, but made no comment. They wondered what they were like and lamented missing out in his thoughts.

Otto stood back up again giving the dog a final pat as he babbled to the pitbull.

“You know what, that’s fair,” Atty said with a nod. “They took a lot out of me, too.” They whispered this to him knowing Dennis was still beside the table. “A nap sounds perfect.”

Dorian giggled and nodded, whispering back, “Telly and me too.”

“Shhhh,” Tele.machus blushed and gently swatted at Dorian’s chest.

“Earlier, we took so long because-”

“I had to call my parents,” Tele.machus interrupted and covered Dorian’s mouth.

Dorian rolled their eyes playfully, “fine, fine. I won't spill the beans.”

“Hey,” Otto said to the second couple. “Make sure you text me when you get to your next location, okay? Be careful out there. Good luck with everything. Can I get some hugs? Sorry, I’m a hugger!”

“Never ever apologize for being a hugger!” Dorian chuckled as Tele.machus was already out of his seat and heading to the older man.

“Goodbye huuuggsss!” Tel giggled and hugged Otto, sighing fondly. “Otto, you give the best hugs…”

Dorian gasped, fake offended, “better than mine? Should I be jealous?”

Tele.machus glanced at Dorian, “the best hugs from someone older than me who's also not related to me nor dating me.”

Dorian blinked and shrugged, “fair enough for me.” They slowly set Copper down and stood up, holding onto the leash.

Otto chuckled at the antics of the younger couple as he embraced them, one-by-one, giving them each as good of a hug as Tele.machus touted he did, not letting go until the person he was hugging was ready.

“Hey, y’know, I might be short as hell, but I give decent hugs too, y’know?” Atticus groused with their arms wide.

Tele.machus smiled and went over and hugged Atticus. He chuckled at the height difference, but ultimately figured it out, “yeah, definitely. Man, a whole family of good huggers, who would've thought?”

Dorian hurried over, waiting patiently for their turn. Copper excitedly jumped up on Atticus’ legs for attention.

While Atty, Dorian, and Tele.machus were busy evening the hug score, Otto turned toward Dennis.

“Hey, friend. You good? I wanted to apologize for maybe getting a little too personal before,” Otto said.

Dennis blinked and smiled a bit at Otto's apology. She nodded, “yeah, I'm good, got a little lost in thought…but thank you for the apology. It's okay, really, I'm just really glad you guys respected me when I didn't want to continue…” he looked away forlornly, “heh, other people would've definitely pushed the subject…so, erm, thanks for being decent human beings.”

“No, I get it. I mean, I saw it and-I-uh…” Otto paused to consider how he wanted to continue. “I have some experience in trauma. Um. I talk to a therapist once a week and I go to group once a month to two times a month, depending on how I’m feeling. Uh..”

Otto paused again and looked thoughtful, fingers of one hand running over the fingers of the other. The sensation helped him focus and grounded him as he squinted at a space above Dennis’ shoulder searching for the words he wanted to use.

“If...if you ever feel like you need to talk, I have some resources that might help. I know that therapy or group therapy isn’t everyone’s-um-” Otto paused as he flapped his hand for the right word, “preferred self care tool, but if it’s something you are curious about I have an-heh-embarrassing long list of references. Most of them are individuals and organizations I can personally vouch for. And-and if you already have someone, that’s great!” He held his hands in a gesture indicating okayness, palms towards them with his fingers spread. “But, if you don’t and it feels like something you want and you want help to get there…don’t hesitate to ask. I’m open to talking about my own shit, too, as long as it’s not too triggering. Anyway, I hope I’m not overstepping again by offering that.”

Meanwhile, Atticus had just finished their hug with Tele.machus and had pointed themselves toward Dorian only to be interrupted by Copper.

“Oh my gawd, okaaay, man!” They said as they lifted the dog and gave them a little hug as they patted his head before putting him down again. “Pretty sure he gets that from Tel! Ha! Your turn Dorian! Get in my arms you adorable person!”

Atticus opened their arms again to welcome the 20-year-old in.

Tele.machus chuckled, “she's just like her papa for real.” He ruffled Copper's head proudly.

Dorian handed Copper's leash to Tele.machus before they smiled and hugged Atticus, “you guys get home safe, Guncle Atty, hehe. Text us when you get home so we know you've made it?”

Dennis looks down, wringing her hands together in thought, giving the offer some consideration. “Truth is, I went to group therapy a while ago and it definitely helped, having people that related to what I was going through made me feel not alone…but then I thought I'd gotten better so I left. I had the tools to navigate my condition, but some days are still worse than others and I wonder if I should go back again…then I think about finances and timing and…I know I'll always have Hermie to help me through things, but…I dunno, I'd like to take a look at those resources and then I'll think about it, if that's alright with you. Thank you for offering.” He smiled slightly at Otto.

“No problem,” Otto said with a smile. He fished out an always available business card from his wallet. Then he patted his pocket surprised to find a pen in the breast pocket. “Oop! I think I accidentally stole this from Herman, actually! Uh, I’m just gonna write my personal cell number on this. The number on the card is my business phone. Email is still good to use as well. I’ll send you financial aid resources, too. A lot of these places are on a sliding scale or have payment plans.”

He wrote his number on the card and handed it to Dennis. He also sheepishly handed back the pen.

“Um, so most of these things I have might not apply to your situation, but I’m pretty much sending you all of them so we don’t have to talk about it. I’m a recovering alcoholic but I’ve used a lot of their codependency and relationship groups over the years. And, y’know…traumas often come as a group package deal anyway,” he said with a chuckle. “Just text me or email me and I’ll send you the resources. Or, if you think about it later and don’t want to do anything, I’m not offended if I never hear from you. No pressure.”

Then he brought his phone out with a grunt of thought, “Sorry. Just to make sure I don’t forget, I’m writing myself a note.” Fussily he took his reading glasses out so he could see the screen clearer to do so.

Atticus was keeping one ear on the mood of the conversation Otto was having with Dennis as Dorian told them to text when they both arrived home.

“Can do!” Atty said. “Make sure you walk this pup for potty breaks, too. Maybe…do you have a towel or anything?”

Atticus was stalling for time for Otto to finish up what sounded like an important conversation.

Dorian turned to Tele.machus with a questioning glance. The boy put a finger to his chin in thought, “mmm…I should have a towel or something in the trunk…I think…pretty sure.” Tele.machus scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

“We can check before we head out,” Dorian shrugged, “if not, I'm sure we can buy one from one of the stores in the area.”

“True…” he shrugged in response and smiled, gasping, “buying our girlie her first gift! She's gonna be so spoiled.”

“Speaking of buying, we'll have to purchase dog bowls and food and toys and a bed too,” Dorian remembered. “And we're gonna need her paperwork too.”

“Dennis probably has that for us,” Tele.machus mentioned.

Dennis smiled slightly and took the card, putting it in his front pocket, then took the pen back, “thank you, seriously. And even if I don't go through with it, I'll probably still text you to let you know…don't want you worrying about this random person who is a, uh, currently functioning alcoholic with PTSD…ehem, but um, I will definitely text you in a bit once I get these dogs situated back in their rooms so I don't forget my own self, heh. Damn…I really appreciate you, man.” They smiled even more, their heart warming at the kindness that was shown to him. She wasn't used to this from strangers. Then again, they wouldn't know as he kept to himself, only talking to the people she knew personally.

Dennis heard his name and glanced over, “I'm sorry, did someone say my name?”

Tele.machus nodded, “yeah, but we can wait until you and Otto are done, no worries.”

Dennis scratched their head, pulling his ponytail over his shoulder, fidgeting with her hair. “Sorry, we're almost done…” they bit their lip anxiously.

“Don't rush, you're good, dude, promise,” Dorian reassured them.

Otto turned toward the others briefly with a smile before turning back to Dennis, face even softer than it was before learning about their alcoholism.

“I’m gonna add to the note to give you my sponsor’s contact info as well, then,” he said in a quick, hushed tone. “I know I’m just a random old dude you met at your work, but this road isn’t easy and I’m under the belief we need as much help as we can get, hm?”

Otto put his glasses, phone, and wallet away and nodded at Dennis.

“I’m a hugger,” he said, voice still a bit lower. “But I’ll let you make the move. Otherwise, I’m looking forward to hearing from you no matter what you decide.”

Dennis smiled slightly and nodded, also in a quieter voice, “yeah…I know…it's hard for me to ask for help sometimes, so…you reaching out really helped.”

They hesitated a moment before he decided a hug would be nice right about now, so he hugged Otto.

Otto surrounded the young person with both of his arms and held them softly for as long as they needed. He briefly put a hand on her head and took a deep breath. Dennis seemed in a much better place than he was at his worst (though rarely could one tell from the outside how badly someone was hurting and in crisis until it was unavoidably obvious), but regardless addiction and trauma were not things to tackle alone. If he could help anyone the way he had been helped (when he’d finally allowed himself to be helped) he’d take that opportunity.

Tele.machus saw them in his peripherals and couldn't help but smile a bit. He wasn't sure what was going on, not wanting to invade their privacy, but he did know that an Otto hug was a good sign of healing.

After their hug, Dennis rubbed his eyes with his sleeve, before turning to the others, “um…I'm going to go get the documents for Copper that show that she's up to date on all her vaccinations and a bag of the dog food she's been eating and then you'll be all set.”

She headed back to the back with Reggie and Pitt following along.

Otto reconnected with Atticus putting a hand on their back and rubbing it. Atty looked up at him with a smile and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“Everything okay?” they asked.

“Mmhm,” he said with a nod. “Hey, you both excited about going on a road trip with Copper?”

Otto was a little solemn as he reconnected with the group. He wasn’t sad, but there was a heaviness in his heart; there was also a hopefulness.

“I told them to think about getting a towel,” Atticus said.

“Oh yeah, you probably want something to cover the seat just in case,” Otto said with a smile and an attempt to lighten his heart by watching the couple and the dog in front of him.

Tele.machus nodded, “yeah, this road trip is gonna be epic! Gonna take lots of breaks for potty trips and make sure she's not motion sick. And I'm like…82% sure I have a towel in the trunk, but we'll probably just end up buying one for her anyway.”

“Yes, cuz she deserves it,” Dorian kneeled down and gave Copper some more love.

Tele.machus chuckled, “uh-oh, should I be jealous?”

“No…” Dorian stuck their tongue out at Tele.machus.

Dennis quickly returned with a manilla folder that had Copper's name on it along with a week's supply of food, handing them over to Telemachus, “here you go, this has everything you need, next wellness visit date, her due date on all her vaccines, and a more formal receipt for you. And here's a week's worth of food, two feedings a day is how we do it, but if you want to do three, go for it. Thank you again for adopting through us and congratulations on the new addition to your family!”

Dorian and Tele.machus both squealed excitedly, “thank you!” Then Dorian picked up Copper and they both hugged her close, giggling at the kisses she'd given them both.

It was Otto this time who pulled out his phone instead of Atticus. The display was just too much not to be archived in some way. And the man had been looking for something to bring him back from his internal wanderings.

“Aww!” Atticus said as they were shown the picture he’d just taken.

“Puppy love!” Otto exclaimed and then paused as he realized the pun.

Atticus cackled.

“I didn’t,” Otto said and laughed as he continued to realize what he’d said, “I didn’t even mean that. I just…haha!”

The clockmaker continued to giggle as the surprise of his joke rattled around in his head. Then the fact that he was laughing about it tickled him.

“Haha-you good?!” Atticus exclaimed through laughing.

“Y-yeah!” He continued to gasp through fits of laughter. “Sor…ry, it’s not…it’s not even that funny!”

Maybe Otto was just tired or wired by the caffeine. Perhaps his body just needed a break from the cathartic depth of the conversations he’d had. Regardless, he got himself into a very stubborn giggle-fit that only stopped when: "Hup!-heh-H'up!-hum-Huh!Hmp!-crap…” Still amused, but now in full awareness of his hiccups’ return, Otto put a hand on his chest as he tried to calm his laughter as more airy pops of sound started the case.

“Oh no,” Atticus said, consolingly. “It’s gonna be one of those days…”

“I swe–ear I Hup! I don’t us–sually get the Hip!Hu’up! hiccups this m–much!” he said. He was aware that now Tele.machus had only seen him on two of his rare hiccup-y days.

“No, it’s honestly been months,” Atty confirmed. “I mean…he’s-you’ve gotten them in the morning sometimes, but maybe the last one was a couple of weeks ago? Maybe?”

Otto waffled his hand a little with a squint to his eyes. “You were as–sleep for Hup!Hip!Huh!-scuse me, some of–of them,” he said. He swallowed as he patted his chest again. “But th–ey were pre-Hip!-pretty short H’mp! short cases.”

Dorian chuckled softly, covering their mouth, “no freaking way…”

Tele.machus shook his head, laughing as well, “I can't believe this. This is twice now that I've witnessed your h-hiccupy days. Coincidence? I think not!”

“Maybe you're a hiccup magnet,” Dorian suggested with a smirk, “you give people the hiccups that seem to evade you.”

“This power is a blessing and a curse,” Tele.machus dramatically placed the back of his hand on his forehead. “A shame, truly…”

“But seriously, this kinda thing happens to me whenever I purposefully cure my hiccups, so I can relate,” Dorian nodded. “Telly can vouch for me-”

Otto cocked his head curiously. He’d never given it much thought and didn’t really have the data to back up the theory. Keeping his hiccups muffled, he looked to Atticus in question who shrugged. Apparently they hadn’t kept note of it either. But it was definitely something they would look out for in the future. To know there was something about Otto’s hiccups they hadn’t kept track of was something mildly exciting, honestly.

“I can,” Tele.machus giggled and nodded in agreement. “That's why letting them fade on their own is best…unless Dori feels like having multiple cases.”

“Eh, I like to live life on the edge sometimes,” Dorian shrugged, then lowered their voice slightly, “plus, hiccupy cuddles are the best cuddles.”

“I ca-Hmp!-can vouch for Hup!Hip! vouch for that Hu’ulp!Huh!Hmph!Mk!” Otto said softly as he lowered his hand to his solar plexus with an, “Oof!” Normally his hiccups wouldn’t bother him, but he’d already had such a demanding case of hiccups earlier that his body seemed sensitive. He suppressed a belch and rocked again with a hiccup. “Mm, par–don.”

“You good with riding these out while driving home?” Atticus asked as they picked off dog hair from his shirt and pants distractedly before rubbing his forearm.

Otto gave a quick nod as he let his body jerk with a silenced cluster. His hand slowly lowered to his bouncing belly.

Dennis’ eyes widened slightly and even though they tried not to, she stared directly at Otto's form. His mind went elsewhere as he witnessed the hiccuping man right next to him. She was entranced by the jolts and spasms and he felt his heart pounding faster, nervously. ‘You should stop staring,’ they thought to himself, ‘someone is going to notice and think you're a weirdo.’

Despite this thought, he still failed to hide his interest. She fidgeted with her fingers, just speechless, letting the sound of his hiccups fill the room. Thank goodness Herman wasn't still hiccuping, or else she'd be feeling overwhelmed.

“Yeah I’m go-Hup!-good. They ar–ren’t bad,” he said and chuckled, “My bo–ody’s a little Hup!Huh! little tired is all-Hu’uh!-mm.”

Atticus was keeping Dennis in their periphery. The cafe worker’s gaze was more than obvious, but Atty was trying not to notice in case their suspicions turned out to be correct to not embarrass them.

As much as Atty would have liked to have been a safe space for Dennis to reveal her possible inclination, the writer was exhausted and they knew Otto was too. Perhaps when Otto knew Dennis a little better he could give that comfort.

Tele.machus nodded sympathetically, “aww, well I hope it's a much shorter case than your earlier one. Don't wanna overwork yourself, friend.”

Otto nodded emphatically as Atticus rubbed a hand along his upper back in between his shoulder blades. They felt the tightness there with every hiccup and winced in sympathy.

Dorian set Copper back on the ground, “Telly unlock your door? Wanna check if you have a towel before we forget.” “Oh! Yeah, here you go,” Tele.machus handed them the keys. “I'll wait in the shop area to get other equipment.” “Sounds like a plan,” Dorian winked and kissed his cheek before looking toward Atty and Otto, “wanna walk out together?” “Yeah! That would be great,” Atticus said.

Dennis cleared his throat, finally breaking through her stupor, “um, ehem, hope you all have a, uh, a good day. Thank you for coming.” They waved before escaping into the backroom, taking a breather.

“Look for-Hmp!-forward to Huh!-hmm,” Otto had started to say before Dennis b-lined away.

Tele.machus waved back, “bye…” once she was out of earshot, he continued, “they were in a hurry…” “Yeaaaah,” Atticus drawled as they followed him, “I think we might have a hypothesis about that.” “One of Hmmp!-mm, one of us. Well Hu’urp!Hulp!-uh, one of you a–all, at least. Hu’ulp!” he said and sighed as he rubbed his sternum again. He was at least grateful this wasn’t a deeper case. Tele.machus raised his eyebrows, “seriously? There are more of us than I thought…what are the odds of us meeting so many people like us?”

Dorian chuckled softly, “it's a small world after all.” “Nooo,” Tele.machus groaned and covered his ears, “you're gonna get the song stuck in my head…” “That's a song?” “Have you never gone to Disney World?!” Dorian shook his head confusedly. Tele.machus’ jaw dropped, “w h a t?” “We can discuss it in the car, sweets,” Dorian reassured him with a pat on his shoulder. They didn't want to hold anyone up by stirring up a whole other conversation. “I'll be right back. Pick out some cute stuff for Copper, yeah?” Tele.machus smiled and nodded, “I'll do my best.” He turned back to Otto and Atty and waved, “it was awesome seeing you again and again, nice to meet you, Atticus. I'll try to do better with keeping in touch.” “No pre–essure. As Hu’up!-uh, long as I he–ear from you Mmp!Mp! once a Hmp! a month,” he said as he ruffled the back of the boy’s hair a little. With one final wave and a small, sad smile, he headed toward the shopping area.

Dorian smiled warmly at him before turning back to his newfound Guncles, “you ready to head out?” Otto and Atticus waved at Tele.machus before turning their attention to Dorian. “Yeah,” Atticus said with a sigh and tried to suppress a yawn as they shifted the doggie bag (as it was labelled cutely) containing the remainder of the coffee cake to their other hand. “I thi-Hingk! we’re both two po–ooped puppies Hmp’mp!-mm,” Otto said. “Really g-Mp!-good to meet y–ou, Dorian.” “Good to meet both of you,” Atty said as they leaned on their husband a little. “Be careful driving back. And we’ll text when we get home like promised. I’ll draw up those sketches for the shirt-heh! And I’ll send you all the pictures Otto and I took to a group chat, yeah?” As the three of them headed outside, Dorian's face lit up with a smile, “we will, and yes, please do! Wait, do you have my number? I know you have Tel's but probably not mine. I can have Tel send you my number.” They then scratched the back of his head, “and…I just wanted to thank you both again for providing me with a second- third?” They looked at Copper and nodded. “Yeah, a third family of sorts. It truly does mean a lot to me and I really appreciate you both. A whole lot. You both have safe travels home and hopefully we'll see you again soon. And good luck with those encore hiccups, man. Hope they don't cause you too much trouble.” He giggled.

“Aw, th–anks. Humpk! I don’t think th–ey’re gonna last m-Hup!-much longer! Keep in–in touch. I mean it. Hu’up!-uh Anything just as–ask!” Otto said, clapping a hand against their shoulder. “I’ll make sure he gets a lot of comfort,” Atticus added with a chuckle. Both of them gave their goodbyes before they walked out of the front door and entered the Subaru parked a few spaces down from the entrance.

Dorian smiled at them as they walked out to Tele.machus’ Altima, luckily finding a towel in the trunk. They returned to see Tele.machus with a basket full of items for Copper. He smiled fondly at his boyfriend, who looked up at them with shining eyes as he'd noticed them. “Babe, look at everything I found for our baby,” Tele.machus giggled excitedly. “I see,” Dorian smiled proudly, “let's check out and get on the road.” Tele.machus beamed back up at them before going up to the cash register, buying all the supplies, and carrying the bags. After saying goodbye to Artemia, they both headed to the car, got Copper comfortable, and both sat up in the front, Tele.machus in the driver's seat. “Let's get this puppy home, yeah?” Dorian held his hand, rubbing his knuckles with their thumb. “Road trip!” Tele.machus cheered before putting the car into drive and heading off to his parents’ house. On the way, Dorian filled Tele.machus in on the conversation he'd missed and how they'd gained a pair of Guncles. They both discussed their experiences of the dog café, ultimately concluding that they would definitely come again sometime. Overall, they all considered this a successful, enjoyable day.

Fin~

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