Theyāre hanging out, just a normal day for once, and Edd keeps losing in his game, and absently asks Tom to get him a coke.
Matt sort of tenses up as Tom exits his field of vision, leaving nothing but air sitting between himself and Edd, but stays quiet.
Stay calm, he tells himself. Itās Edd. Itās Edd, Edd, Edd, not- not anyone else. Itās Edd, and heās himself and everything is okay. Itās fine. Everything is okay.
His chest feels tight, and heās struggling to get enough air. All he can think about is Ottoās glare, the glint of his knife in the field, the whirring of the blender, the pain, the shouting, the rage- he could snap over anything, he and Tom always on eggshells around him-
Edd notices, after another death in his game, as Mattās breathing starts to pick up. His eyes are wide and staring down at his hands, which are balled into tight fists. his breathing is a little erratic, and in concern, Edd reaches out, gently putting a hand on Mattās arm to get his attention.
Matt jerks away so fast he nearly falls off the couch, and before he can think, even realise really what heās doing or whats going on- heās already on his feet and yelling for Tom.
In an instant, Tom crashes back into the living room, almost tripping over the carpet as he dives to put himself between Matt and Otto, his face white as he watches Ottoās expression, takes in his body language, trying to predict his next move- but Otto just looks shocked. Confused.
Noā¦Edd does. Edd looks shocked, and confused.
Tom jerks himself back into reality and clears his throat, slowly raising his hands.
āJustā¦uhā¦donāt worry. About this.ā He stumbles slightly over his words. āIām gonna talk to Matt for a minute.ā
Tom is painfully aware of his friend behind him, gripping his hoodie tight and possibly bent over a bit, as if hiding behind him.
He reaches behind himself and manages to get a hold of Mattās hand, and carefully pulls the other out of the room. It isnāt until theyāre in Tomās room, out of earshot of Edd, that Matt cracks.
Tears are streaming down his face, and his hands shake despite Tomās firm grip. āI-I canāt-ā he manages, before a sob breaks free of his throat.
Tom worries heās going to hyperventilate before he can calm down, and slowly, quietly instructs Matt on when to breathe, hold his breath, and release. āThere, just like that. Youāre doing great. Youāre safe, I promise.ā He says gently, and lets go of Mattās hands, only for the other to pull him into a tight hug. āItās okay, youāre safeā¦.ā He says again, patting Matt on the back as his panic attack takes its sweet time passing.
āD-donāt-ā Matt heaves in a deep breath as he draws away, gripping Tomās sleeves for something to ground him, ādont leave me alone with him. Please.ā
āMatt⦠you know thatās Edd. Thatās our friend, he wouldnāt-ā
āPlease!ā Mattās voice cracks as he interrupts. āPlease, I know, but I canāt- Iām not⦠Iām not ready.ā
Tom is quiet for a moment, but he nods slowly. āI wonāt. Just try to remember, okay? Edd wonāt hurt you. He wonāt hurt either of us.ā Tom wouldnāt let him. āHeās our friend.ā
Matt nods and begins to wipe his eyes on his sleeve. āO-okay. Thank you.ā
āGo wash your face, okay? Maybe youāll feel a little better. Then we can put on a movie.ā
āOkay.ā Matt manages a watery smile and heads out of Tomās room to the room across the hall.
Tom returns to the living room, where Edd pauses his game in favor of watching Tom.
Tom pretends heās not unnerved. āLetās watch a movie, okay?ā But the way he asks isnāt really a question, so Edd nods.
āIs thisā¦does this have to do with the farm? And Mark?ā His memory of the event was unclear, and Tom only gave him the bare minimum of details.
āHeā¦yeah. Donāt worry, okay? Heās just on edge. Heāll be fine in a few weeks.ā
āYouāre my friends. Iām going to worry.ā Edd says. āMaybe itād help if I knew moreā¦?ā
Tom takes in a deep breath. āI know. Iāll tell you everythingā¦soon. I canāt right now, butā¦I will. And Matt will be okay and we can move past this.ā
Edd frowns. āWhat about you?ā
Tom looks away, just in time for Matt to come back in, and he switches the channel and puts in the first movie he can reach before taking a seat between Matt and Edd.
fin
Notes:
I donāt think Tom is the type to talk about his feelings. Not to say he came out of this better than Matt (he still has nightmares about being forced to murder his āfriendā), but heās definitely better at suppressing his problems than Matt is.