a letter to my inner child
I pick you up
babybird with broken wing
kitten starving for milk
pathetic creature left alone
i bring you home and warm you
hold you to my breast like I can teach you what HOME means
cradle you and tell you
I know It Was Never Okay
You Do Not Have to Be Okay
you tears flow and flow and flow
and I am afraid we will drown
I cling to you like a life raft
you pour out the poison in your wound
we weather it together,
gasping for breath above the tears
like each one will be the last
each sob smashes us upon the rocks
and I fold myself around you
you will not hurt again
you try to fight me
to break away
this is too painful
no, my dear, my love, my only,
I say to you sweet thing
you are no monster
you are no toxin come to ruin
no miasma sneaking your way
into the lungs and homes of people
to kill them in the night
you were never such a thing
your milkteeth could not have cut them
as they say they did
you had no claws yet
so how could you maim?
I love you I love you I love you
I scream over the howling wind of our pain
I will keep trying
I will get better
I will keep trying even if it kills me
even if I kill you
you ask voice small and harsh
and I say yes
even if you kill me
I will still love you
I will still care for you
I will come back a thousand thousand times for you
you were always enough
and your sobs are eternal and they are unending
and they are already done and passing
I see the lighthouse above the waves and I hold you ever closer
well done I say
well done you did so well
and thank you
for holding the flood long enough
for me to take my first breath
I love you I love you I love you
it was never your burden to bear
you were never a sinner
and never a sin
you are the joy of creation
and the pride of the universe
your breath is a revolution
and your scars are a story
we lay together on the shore
you lay on my chest
I brush your sea-salt sorrow from you
I kiss you hello
I kiss you goodnight
this will happen again
and next time it will still hurt
and you are worth it
you were always worth it
I love you
goodnight.